Time for a bonfire of the clutter? Perhaps not but Fledglings are flying high with the fireworks through November...

[BlueEyeshadow]

Huge thanks to SC (and Bitchy!) for leading the thread throughout October (and to SC for such a copy and paste-able OP)

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and wine and cake along the way.

Flylady link here.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons . Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine
(2)You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome!

X-post with engels I was exactly the same when I was preparing for mat leave and for exactly the same reasons. Tis a great idea to put DS in nursery. In fact the biggest stress re ovary gate earlier in the year was being off work for so long with so many loose ends untied. Forget the pain, forget the op...it was unmarked coursework that made me hyperventilate.

Good afternoon!

No wonder I have high blood pressure! Dh has just left for Singapore via Dubai and we've been dashing around like whirling dervishes all morning prepping printed conference materials which should have been finished earlier weighed a ton in his suitcase. He just about made his flight.

I've just got back from taking dd to ballet (kind ballet friend's mother bringing her back so I don't have to wait round thankfully.)

DD very upset at dh's departure. (Hormones definitely setting in - she's crying and shouting one minute and laughing and wanting hugs two seconds later.)

I'm feeling disappointingly tottery and hot/wierd but trying to sort a week's back-log of shopping (no Sunday opening here) banking/laundry/recycling/pet cleaning/bed-making etc. Dh has done his best but much /replenishing/sorting/chucking out/wiping down required. Why does it never occur to men to replace loo rolls, washing up liquid, dishwasher tabs, kitchen roll when they run out? Or dish clothes or sponges or tea towels? [urgh] Because it involves going down to basement and coming up again. Or throw left-overs out of fridge? Or clean kitchen bin? Or tidy or wipe down any surfaces?

It's horrible of me to complain because he did loads of other dd related stuff (ballet classes, school runs, other chauffering, some hwk supervision, food shopping, cooking) on top of mahoosive work week. But you know me, I love a good whinge

And don't get me started on female relationships and housekeeping!

Swan think it is healthy that you are at least able to communicate openly - well sort of openly - among your siblings and with your mother! We allude to one another indirectly about the other but never to one another's faces- which is horrible when I think about it (despite fairly strong sibling loyalty which is non-existent in dh's family). But everyone gets incredibly upset when someone is actually honest in our family and the fall out is horrendous. Never had my mother criticising my house thankfully (although she certainly criticised a lot of other things) as she never visited me here (even though she went abroad elsewhere).

Toffee >"I also find it inherently sexist that it is always the woman who is blamed for the state of the house." Couldn't agree more! And the sexism is even worse over here in some ways (although can be better in some aspects of work/career strangely enough). Funny you think about being a mil! I too have that thought in my head sometimes. Would certainly do it very differently to mine who was a nightmare! Hope ds2 comes around to home edding group - I'm sure he will given time - it's a big adjustment! And sorry to hear ds1 won't be persuaded to visit his special school tomorrow. Feel for you both as the more pressure there is to visit, the more anxiety arises out of it, so it must be a vicious circle of a kind. Could his therapist help (or accompany you there)?

Blue so sorry to hear about your jinked firework display outing.

Waves to Engels Goth Alice Fuzzpig Bitchy and everyone else I've missed!

Has anyone "seen* Feetheart recently? Or Just?

[Argh, suddenly worked out while I am feeling so hot. Opened French windows and activated the central heating!!

Productive morning! Maybe it was because DS2 brought me a cup of coffee in bed first thing . It was cold and I'm not keen on coffee, but I drank it whilst making lots of "Mmm, lovely" noises. So sweet of him to do that.

ta da

Phoned school to explain DS1 wouldn't come
Cleared out the cupboard under the stairs (DH did this)
Mopped downstairs floors (DH again)
Sorted out all the clothes in our bedroom
Put loads of old clothes in binbags for recycling
Made a start on bathroom cupboard - more clothes to recycle
Swished and swiped
Loaded d/w
Washing on

Following my conversation with a member of staff at the school this morning, I'm hoping I can get DS1 to visit the school very briefly this afternoon instead. He's in a heightened state of anxiety at the moment, undoubtedly as a result of the suggestion that he visit this morning, but I'm treading carefully and I haven't given up hope yet.

Sorry! Lots of x posts there (took me so long to write my essay!)

at Christmas films already!! [hides behind large cushion]

Engels you sound really conscientious (think your students are v. lucky). It's good you are getting extra childcare to help carry the load. Take it steady!

Hope your dd is OK Terry (I'm also not good with vomit.) [Hands over giant bottle of Dettol] Really good to hear she had such a good trip away though! Hopefully her tum is just upset from journey/excitement/change of scene etc.

ooooh Ellie SO happy to hear you are enjoying your child-free weekend as I know you had mixed feelings about it. (Something really indulgent/almost transgressent about watching telly on a Saturday morning which makes it all the more enjoyable (says one who watches C4's The Morning Line on a regular basis !! Tis great you have been taking advantage and having a much deserved breather!

Hope your day gets better Bitchy!

Alice you never ever need to apologise for stressing out on this thread I do it all the time. Won't be indulging in Christmas CDs quite yet (seems wrong somehow without the decorations up!!) but whatever works for you and great that you are not going to let anything or anyone prevent you from enjoying festivities! [Shakes pom poms in supportive/rallying manner! ] Have you seen the Poncetastic Christmas thread on here btw? It's for people who go the whole hog!! Thought you might enjoy it Not teasing - genuine suggestion - thought it might cheer you up!!

Oh dear! Can't help but cackle a bit! Have just found a large pile of men's underwear on the bed that dh was meant to take with him. They came out of the case when we were piling in all the printed materials and were meant to go back on top ... but ... er ... didn't Well, he did say he was under-prepared and was going to have to wing it

Right, off to clean the ruddy hamster .... .

x post again!

Very jealous of all these lovely sons who bring their mothers drinks and breakfast in bed! Why don't daughters do that sort of thing I wonder?

Ooh good luck Toffee with getting your ds1 to see the school today. That would be so good. FIngers and toes crossed for you xxx

Sorry Blue feel sorry for you with everyone nattering so much mainly me

[Proffers sustaining ]

SC I've been on the Poncetastic thread since the first year it started. Wouldn't miss it. Don't post on it much, but always lurk. And I'm starting to organise decorations, so we're not exactly playing the music without the corresponding deco.

Ha! Alice I might have guessed you were a regular there!!

Oops, poor DH, SC

Tried to get DS1 to new school... and failed. He won't budge. It's so frustrating. However, I am wondering now why they can't just assess him at home, rather than expect him to come in for a taster day. It seems so silly that any progress in the legal process is dependent on DS1 doing something he can't do - and which is one of the reasons he's getting funding to go to this special school in the first place!

DH and DS2 have been watching old episodes of 'Dr Who', leaving me free to update my blog and relax.

I have done some bloody flying.

Ta da:-
Tidied downstairs
Washing
Drying
Putting away
Polished downstairs
Hoovered downstairs
Cleaned bathroom
Cleaned dc's rooms and hoovered
Online food shop delivered and put away

Am now snuggled on sofa watching Saving Mr Banks.

Well done ellie!

I have even done the fecking ironing.

fucking hell Ellie good job I was sat down!

I need a fucking sit down now

How frustrating toffee

well DONE ellie !

Ta da
caught up with MN!
washing up
yesterday's wash away
wash#1 today away
wash #2 in td
Tidied up bits in lounge
emptied paper recycling
emailed nursery
topped up phone card
chat with DM and Dsis1

Just had a pamper (shower, face mask) after dinner to leave DH to deal with the toddler for a while. Have lit one of my Christmas Yankee candles - feeling very relaxed.

Night night!

Well, I didn't get the cake baked and my room tidied. But I managed everything else on the list. Whew!

The dcs have each had a nice long shower and so did I, so now we're relaxing for a bit - ds2 is actually still awake which is unusual for him. He's watching Peter Rabbit though, so it's holding his attention.

We'll get the cake done tomorrow. I could have done it myself but the dcs wanted to help and they got caught up in a very involved Disney Infinity build (it was rather amusing - they were firing off cannons and playing in the money vaults). So tomorrow it is. I've also promised them we would watch The Nightmare before Christmas and make some popcorn with the air popper as well. I suspect tomorrow will be more play than fly, which is fine.

I need to ring the council Monday as my radiator in my room isn't getting hot at all. The other ones are though.

Laundry was all caught up until the showers. Now I have a pile of it again. Ah well.

I also let ds2 "crack" the chocolate orange that we ate a few slices off tonight. I say "crack"... "whack the bejeezuz out of it" is probably the more appropriate description. But he enjoyed it thoroughly and I've promised ds1 he gets to do the next one.

Might be a stupid question Alice but have you bled the radiator. The one in my room seems to be where all the air collects and thus it gets air locks and is often cold when it shouldn't be. Needs bleeding regularly.

No I haven't. I may try that Monday when the dcs are in school.

Today I made home made lasagna, took an important phone call, avoided all coffee, finished blocking out blanket 1, got the centre base section of blanket 2 done. Been curled up in bed all day. That phone call kinda threw me.

Fireworks again tonight.. every night this week. Hope they stop soon.

must admit i have been enjoying the local display from the comfort and warmth of the house. Can see a good proportion of it (although there is a house in the way so you don't get to see it all. Ds is not a fan so it never occurred to me to walk down and go watch it. Maybe another year if I don't have him. He is really not a fan of big fireworks displays. They are too noisey for him.

Ds1 will watch some out the window with his ear defenders on, shrieking at excitement. After 3-4 bursts of colour, he then gets agitated and runs to the other room saying "I can't watch anymore." Then he tries again later. Taking him to an actual fireworks show would never work.

toffee that is so frustrating about the school but to be expected I suppose. Re: meetups, I do have to push ds2 sometimes - it is just at the moment he is slightly obsessed by one child and is always keen to have a chance to see him

SC it is so difficult being ill, one realises how much seems to depend on one person doing stuff. Btw loyal siblings sound a very valuable resource and respect for your feelings is a lovely proof of it. Criticism is horrid imo and never the same as honesty.

Dh criticised my commissariat again today which made me furious. He was then soliticious all afternoon as he realised he had made a major gaffe but criticism is banned forthwith. Only teamwork is allowed! He had come back from Morrison's weighted down with shopping and complained that I should have done a big shop in the week to which I replied, there is plenty of food and none of the food you bought was requested or needed (I had only asked him to pick up some cold meat to supplement soup for lunch) Feel worn down with the hopeless task of us actually running this house constructively together. So much to do and we are arguing about whether we need two more packets of pasta or not

done
took ds1 to rugby (early start)
took ds2 to Stagecoach (dh got him ready which was kind)
made soup which dh decided he didn't want because it was too leeky
put soup in freezer after having one bowl (I think I had overdone both turnip and leek anyway no-one would eat it maybe they will when it is very cold outside
dd is ill with flu so we ministered to her with juice and avocado and cherry tomatoes
nap
ds2 played for a long time with his new Lego Never anything creative though, it always has to be a kit and instructions.
watched Dr Who after supper (deli supper with boiled potatoes, delicious)
started to tidy my room (and gave up)

Alice your boys sound as if they are playing beautifully together

Evening all. It’s been an odd kind of a day here. DS1 was horrendous this morning – possibly still an emotional hangover from yesterday evening, plus a late breakfast, which plays havoc with his blood sugar… DH has been a bear with a sore head or morose all day…

Ta Da!
Grocery shopping
Trip to garden centre
Caught up with laundry
Quick library run with DS1
Baking with and without boys
Everybody survived the day in one piece

That’ll have to do.

What’s everyone else been up to? Lots of battling it seems. But also some relaxing and family fun.

Toffee had a productive morning but was battling frustrations around school – does seem strange that your DS has to go in when they know about his anxieties. Hope DS2 adjusts to the home ed group.

Alice has wisely decided to take things one day at a time, but was mentioning the C word far too often… at whacking the bejeezus out of a choccie orange.

Bitchy is battling lasagne, blanketgate and phonecalls.

Terry’s DD had a great trip but has a tummy bug. Hope she’s on the mend.

Engels is battling to get ready for maternity leave. Don’t worry about personals – this thread isn’t meant to add stress! Glad you were able to relax later.

ellie was having a lovely loungy day, but also did fecking flying. And ironing. [hands over gold star]

SC is sorting out backlogs but found her DH’s smalls after he departed on a business trip…

swan was battling shopping and ministering to a poorly DD – get well soon to her, too.

Babystep 9 is learning about room rescues – also important, but for pete’s sake, the Fat Fairy is still after email!!

No mission at the weekend. Sunday is renew your spirit day.
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