Good housekeeping for the very tired, overstretched and poorly

[tiredowl]

Any interest in a tips and support thread? I have chronic fatigue syndrome so have little energy, can't afford a cleaner, but nicer home environment would be a real life if I could achieve it :-)
I don't really have the energy for a full-on flylady thing, and the tone does annoy me a bit, but I am trying to incorporate the principle of little efforts, consistently applied, add up and make a difference, although often I just can't.
Anyone else?

Jemster I have low maintenance clothes:

• decent soft cotton tops, in basic colours.
• silk/cotton skirts and dresses, or jersey wrap dresses.
• black flats, tan flats, or black boots, tan boots.

I buy clothes from the likes of Gap, Monsoon, M&S in sales, and eBay, and these items dry straight from the wash on hangers without creasing. Throw them on in a couple of minutes, minimal thinking/coordination.

Simple make up: tinted moisturiser or mineral powder, very quick eyeliner, touch of blush, tinted lip balm. I usually tie up my hair as it's easier to manage and quick to do.

Breakfast - I need to leave at least 30mins after taking my meds before eating, I'm rarely up and spritely enough to build in that time to my routine so I stock things for breakfast on the go; pastries, flapjacks, bananas, rolls, granola bars. I have a travel cup so I can make a tea or coffee to go.

Lunch - I keep snacks and easy fruits, like bags of popcorn, clementines, grapes, and I usually throw in any mix of leftovers from the night before into a lunch box.

I use a rucksack and it usually has stuff from the day before in already like my purse, keys etc, I wash my lunch box at work after lunch so I don't have to do it when I get home and it doesn't go gross, same with the travel cup.

I'm not very good at prepping the night before either!

place marking.

single mum of two under 3 with fibromyalgia.
My house tends to look like a warzone.

I am finding all this talk of meal plans really helpful. I definitely need to embrace bulk cooking but am finding it a bit overwhelming!

Fuzzpig - just take it slowly and double cook one thing then that's one meal less to think about another week. I use freezer bags to freeze stuff in as it takes up less space as I can freeze stuff flat. It also takes less time to defrost of you've forgotten to take it out of the freezer in the morning.

I did my own "meal planning" earlier - went to tesco with dh and bought ready prepped food for the next four days. Its not great, but at least we wont be having takeaway cause I'm not up to doing anything while hes back in work. :)

I could definitely do a bolognese and a tomato/veg sauce :) probably soup too.

DH agreed we could do some bulk cooking together on Sundays, when he's here to do the chopping etc - am reluctant to spend our one day (he works on 6 days currently) together cooking but then if it makes my life easier in the week it would be well worth it.

Go for it. You don't need to spend the whole day doing it but it will definitely be worth the investment.

I bulk make a simple tomato sauce for pizzas (2 sliced cloves garlic, tin of plum toms and some basil) then freeze in portion sizes for pizzas. Double or treble the amounts depending on how much to make. Saves making it each time and nicer than shop bought. Of you don't want to make your own dough then a shop bought made is a quick cheat.

Oh I forgot to say our oven isn't working ATM so can't do stuff like pizza/pasta bakes! :(

I'll definitely do the freezer bags, would save me buying more Tupperware!

We've got a few random bits and bobs to use up in the freezer so my plan is to wing it next week, and get some cooking and proper planning done for when school starts again after half term.

DD is also desperate for school dinners - can't afford it as she's juniors now, but we've compromised and agreed she can have it on Fridays. This would also work out well as I have to get grocery deliveries on Mondays and then it doesn't matter if we've run out of packed lunch stuff :)

I have to do a delivery tomorrow though as we've got fuck all left - been totally disorganised lately. We were doing two smaller shops a week but not sure if that's better than one bigger one... Argh!

The key point about one a week is that we could theoretically get it below £50, whereas two shops at minimum spend of £25 each... but then sometimes we spend loads more. Ah heck it's befuddling my foggy brain!

Jemster, try the Morning Has Broken post on my blog. That has timed routines on it for the morning that various MNetters have tested. Morning Has Broken

There are also weekly meal plans and linked shopping lists on the blog, by the way, and some 'Cook Fest' recipes in case you want to get ahead when you feel a bit better by cooking in bulk.

Thanks Hey for the meal planning ideas, and fuzzpig for talking about it too, it has - at last - motivated me in this direction.

Admittedly I have been very resistant to meal planning for a long time. Memories of a friend whose family had the same menu every week for years... and feeling our creativity would be stifled and we'd get bored. I managed to gloss over the part where we often eat random bits/basics/takeaways due to the tiredness, the illness, the DC...!

I've been reading through your tips and suggestions on here and for once, it clicked that it's not like I have to eat the same thing on set nights (how I missed that before, I'll never know) And it's not like we won't be creative either, just better prepared.

So I've made a menu I wrote a list of 5 recipes on OneNote and booked a delivery for the morning. They are ingredients we usually buy, I've just predetermined their use this time. 3 recipes are for freezing in portions for 'ready meals'. 1 recipe is in parts, so I will cook most of it, freeze, and then can defrost and finish off quickly. The final meal is an 'easy cook' meal, it takes no more than 10mins but the ingredients are mainly long life so I don't have to think about precisely when we'll make it but we have everything in stock to do it.

All in all I have enough food to make at least 10 meals, that is 10 servings for me, DH and DS. I'm hoping it makes things easier and we don't get takeaway. Apart from being better for the budget we have to be a lot more careful with our diets as certain foods impact on our conditions, but we sometimes forget as this is a relatively recent development.

So well done all, you've finally got me to try meal planning!

Well done Larry! :)

I know what you mean about resisting meal planning. I always rebel

What I need to do (I've been saying this for months) is compile a list of meals I CAN cook so I can just pick from there.

Brilliant news Larry - Yes I couldn't eat the same thing every week. Even if I roughly plan the days we're going to eat things something might change which means we eat something else so there's definitely flexibility in it otherwise it would be incredibly boring

I've found that I've got a bit more brain power back to. I really struggle with brain fog so it would take me about 3 or 4 hours each week to write the shopping list whereas now I do it once a month so I can use my limited brain cells for something more interesting!

Let us know how you get on with it.

Morning all After getting a bit miserable about the state of our home (albeit not awful, I relax better in tidiness), and with DH pretty exhausted at the moment, I felt the need to sort things this morning. Did a fair amount and it's looking much better in here!

Dishes need washing and bins need taking out (it's always the bins!), plus hob needs a clean, but I realised it's a bit like what Hey said earlier in the thread, so if you've expended x energy already (like her points) then even if you might be able to push a bit further now, it will have an impact on the rest of the day or possibly even tomorrow. So I realise I'm at my limit for now, because I want to do some bulk cooking later for our new meal plan. Hopefully DH will feel fine enough to do the bins and dishes and I'll deal with the hob, um... later

low-effort house management ideas (I'm not ill but who wants to spend ages on it?)

• no shoes in house. Reduce vacuuming and cleaning.
• no ironable clothes.
• do you really need to waste energy on makeup? No-one notices.
• one handbag/rucksack only. Life is really too short.
• batch cook; double or triple. BTW use containers as they go in the dishwasher, endless plastic bags create waste and more bin trips.
• declutter. Surfaces look better with one or two, or no ornaments, and if it isn't there it doesn't attract dust.
• child training. Anything able to walk can pick things up. They can also get involved in the low-level stuff, saves bending for you. Might take longer but the only effort for you is speaking.

and if you are not up to it, your kids may have to accept a slightly reduced social programme. It won't hurt them.

Larry - the hob can wait

The upstairs hasn't been hoovered for about 3 weeks. No one has died as a result of it. The windows are open all day long so the house is well aired. I'm short sighted so if I don't wear my glasses I can't see the dust

One thing that has made a difference is that I've reorganised the kitchen so I'm not moving around it so much. Dh and I were always getting in each others way in the mornings so I've moved the cutlery etc close to the fridge so I'm not tooing and fro-ing on simple jobs.

Moved plates etc closer to the dishwasher.
I've found that I don't have a very good grip any more so I've made sure there is no heavy stuff on top of cupboards etc

Another thing that I find useful which is not at all related to housekeeping is doing mindfulness.

A lovely friend sent me a link to these free downloads. They definitely make you feel well rested and even a little bit revitalised.

Jemster there's one which is for starting the day which might help with giving you a bit more energy in the morning.

www.yoganidranetwork.org/downloads

I am a soontobe single parent of two.
I have mobility problems.
I have a child with ASD and a second child.
I live in a 4 storey house with no built in storage at all and no garden.
It is VERY hard.

I am really glad I found this thread.

Can I ask:

how do you use the soda crystals / vinegar for drains and maintenance washes (just w/m or dishwasher too?) please???

Hi i have ra so understand. On my bad days i do little things such as clean downstairs loo and tidy paper work/bills or magazines that need to be sorted. It upsets me seeing friends tidy houses but we can only do whats right for us managing an illness is tough.i admire you still work.

Welcome Mind, that's a lot to manage, hope we can all be of some use and support

I don't have a dishwasher but in the washing machine I throw some soda crystals in the drum (about a cup? Just a fair amount ) and then run the machine on empty on its hottest cycle. Then I do a second hot wash empty with a cup or so of vinegar in the drum. I usually clean out the filter first, just as part of maintaining it. But I've seen lots of different approaches, essentially hot wash + soda crystals are the key, some people put a towel in at the same time.

For drain type things I throw some down the plughole or in the toilet bowl (less than a cup, wouldn't be more than half, I just stop when it clumps at the plughole! Or around half a cup to a cup in the toilet), then slosh some vinegar on to dissolve and fizz, then run or pour hot water once it's done fizzing. I add a bit of Zoflora at this point as it makes it all smell nice For the toilet, I just flush after.

There are loads of tips on MN and Money Saving Expert, if you Google the stuff + MN/MSE you get loads of tips threads come up.

On phone atm so I'm not entirely sure if my post makes sense but hope it does! I do these maintenance things every 1-2 months, when I do meter reads usually as it helps me to remember.

Following the helpful ideas on here I attempted a rough meal plan this week and placed the food order online to be delivered this morning. I felt very good knowing I wouldn't have to traipse around the supermarket.
Things weren't exactly stress free however! I arranged the delivery for 9.00am today. DH had taken ds out to play football so just dd with me at home. She has started potty training and wanted to try and go just as the phone rang - it was Tescos saying my card had been declined! I'd forgotten to transfer enough money in to correct account. So then I was hunting in the mess for my purse whilst dd was calling for assistance on potty, had to call them back in the end. Dd decided she wasn't ready to 'go' so put her pull up back on and off she went. 5 mins later tesco van pulls up & dd says i need a poo mummy and back she goes on potty. Unfortunately it was all a bit of a mess and so there I am with baby wipes in one hand, opening front door with the other and dd shouting for me to come & look at her poo!!!
Eventually got the shopping in & dd sorted, then faced with task of putting it all away. Dd calling me to come & play with her and really not understanding when I tried to explain I couldn't as had to put stuff away. In the end she helped me so got most of it done.
I now feel exhausted and it's only 11.00am! Quite disappointed that in trying to do something to make things easier for myself it turned out so stressful!
I wasn't sure when to do the delivery for but this has made me realise that I need to do it when dh is here so he can at least entertain dd & help me put stuff away.
I'm off for a lie down now before tackling the rest of the house!

Ah Jemster - you can always rely on a toddler to do a poo related emergency just when you least need it.
My occupation health reminded me that I don't need to put the shopping away as soon a I get home with it. Only the frozen /chilled stuff and then come back to the rest of it when you've had a break or even better got someone else to do it.
You've got the hard part out of the way though - hope this week is easier.

I'm on my knees today after too much child related ferrying around. Dh is working today so we're all still in our pj's

I second putting away cold stuff first and getting back to rest later, if necessary. DH usually helps me with cupboard stuff.

Last night I cooked 3 recipes, in stages. Our flat kitchen is small, but there is enough space for a folding chair so I put that in there so I could rest as needed. I accidentally chose 3 good recipes in terms of managing them, which was fortunate! I now highly recommend this kind of mix

• slow roast joint: throw herbs and spices at some meat, stick in the oven on low for a few hours, slice, mix juices with Bisto.
• meatballs: season mince, roll out balls (no egg or flour), fry in a big pan, add frozen veg (used Mediterranean mix), add tin of tomatoes and puree, some herbs, some soy, simmer.
• curry: get DH to make curry (well it's his family's recipe...) Chop onions and garlic, fry, add spices (wet), add chicken pieces, add water, simmer.

All in all it was fairly low impact cooking, the only chopping was the onion and garlic that DH did for the curry, and each dish was 'one pot' cooking type stuff too. Once they had cooled I portioned into food bags. I currently have 5 family meals in the freezer and I put 3 in the fridge, we have eaten one today so 2 left. We had to go out this morning and it was nice to know that food was already prepared.

I have one more to prep, which is very easy, and as before I have a 'quick cook' meal made of long life ingredients for whenever we fancy it.

I've also just discovered the chopped frozen herbs from Waitrose/Ocado (how have I never found these before?!). So hopefully they should work well and even less for us to do.

The only thing I haven't prepped is sides/carbs, but those are the easy part for us. We have either frozen veg or fuss-free salad, and then it's cous cous, rice, frozen mash, noodles or spaghetti, all of which are easy to do and take about 10 minutes or less.

I third cold stuff away and do the rest as and when! It does make life easier when you realise actually, nothing will happen if the store cupboard items, bathroom items, vegetables etc are not put away immediately.

Same with rest of the housework - you can do it in stages so plan it out - for example: I get dressed and come downstairs so before I come downstairs I get the washing, open windows, put toilet cleaner down the loo and squirt cleaner on bath and sink. I then come downstairs, put washing in machine, and make a cup of tea. I then go upstairs after my cuppa and finish wiping the bathroom and close windows and then sit with a drink. Then I hang washing etc etc... It's the pacing that the doctor and physio recommended when I was diagnosed... do a job, have a rest, do a job, have a rest etc.. You just have to work out how to do it for you within the time you have (ie what is important and what can be left). I choose to do a few little jobs while upstairs (to minimise my going up and down), the bathroom jobs can be left partway through so I get the washing on and have a rest THEN i finish the bathroom and any other small jobs while I'm back upstairs.

Larry - had to smile at your dc's helping :-)