Fledglings polish their pumpkins and do their best, it's time for a Fling Boogie Octoberfest!

[Stewedcoot]

Heartfelt thanks to Engels (and Bitchy!) for leading the thread throughout September (Sept always being a busy one) despite feeling a bit poorly and despite being pregnant. Hope beneficial effects of injections kick in soon!

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

Flylady link here.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons . Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine
(2)You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome!

Thank you, Who. DH hasn't contributed to the statementing process either, and this seems quite normal generally. For example, DS1's new school seems to be full of children whose mothers fought through tribunal to get them there. DH has always found it quite annoying when I work because the housework and childcare doesn't get done. When he lost his job, we discussed which of us would look for work and he was adamant that he wanted to work rather than look after the children - and yet he implies that's the easy part .

Correction: the housework and childcare does get done when I work, but not as invisibly as when I'm at home, so he has to pull his weight too.

I think it is fairly normal, although I do have a male friend who is very engaged indeed in his son's SENs (just been statemented, having applied at the same time as me). It has struck me through the process that EVERY single person involved in it so far (apart from DS's class teachers) has been female.

Anyway, I have just done a quick 20 mins of tidying / cleaning. Opened the front door after coming home from school to find the house smelled awful, a fug of food, cat food, steam from the bathroom, unmentionable bathroom smells, etc so I have had front and back doors wide open and steam cleaned the bathroom, all much fresher now. Just got to make my packed lunch and coffee and get off to work.

Phew, just back from very chilly time standing outside on the green, cheering on DS2 at his cycling. Definite sharp feel to the air today. But home to brownies and , so all worth it.

Who - I was struck by exactly the same thing. In fact, everyone who deals with DS1's SNs is female, including his psychiatrist, CBT therapist, dietician and the head of his new specialist school.

Glad you have sorted out suspect household smells, Who. I have the same issue now that we have two cat litter trays. I have to clean them regularly to avoid a build-up of smells. I sometimes burn a scented candle for a bit too. Have been meaning to buy some of those scented sticks, but whenever I buy them I always manage to get ones that smell awful. Anyone got any recommendations?

Am going to look up some telephone numbers (eg someone to sort out our boiler) whilst drinking my tea, then start home-ed lessons with DS2.

And DH was only leaving for work as I was coming back from cycling practice with DS2. Noted and stored up for future evidence .

Oh, and kittens had found a new box of tissues and distributed the tissues all over the kitchen floor, which I then had to clear up whilst they lay on their tower, looking at me as if butter wouldn't melt.

Ta da
2 units of work for ML handover
baby wash in td
lunch (leftovers)

Now I may think about leaving the house though will have to get changed as in baggy maternity trousers that don't fit properly FL would not approve!

baby wash in td - aww. That made me smile, Engels .

Can't believe how cute and tiny everything is toffee - amazing how quickly you forget!

But have just realised that with all the people dumping their old baby clothes on us kind donations we got we have hundreds of newborn clothes and we didn't even use them all last time, plus I know people will get us presents even if we ask them not to. Called my Dsis and asked if she would like a bag and she said yes. Though I warned her that if she gets inundtaed with 2nd hand stuff from friends then let me know and I'll give our excess to the clothing bank.

Just called to get my blood results and B12 is now normal so will get tested again post-baby.

Toffee - I would be careful of the scented sticks of you've got kittens, they may well knock them over and I saw one of those viral posts on FB a while ago where a cat had suffered serious skin burns as a result of getting it on themselves. Having said that, I still use them but they are in inaccessible places wedged behind bigger objects, my favourite is Colony Candles Lavender. What cat litter are you using? Our trays are much better since we switched to Cats Best OKO Plus - they stink when there is an unburied poo but are otherwise fine so long as you de-clump them at least once a day.

I have spent all more cutting tomatoes. I have turned 1kg into tomato sauce for pasta/spag bol type stuff. I still have another 1kg to chop up and will not have time to boil up the chutney today. So that will have to wait until tomo.

ta da
blow up food processor
Turn red tomatoes into sauce
chop up a gazillion and 1 green tomatos

About to go put some washing on and fetch the ingrediants i thought i had i stock but didn't have enough of due to lb - g conversion errors

Toffee I suspect your dh was not talking in a general sense about you being lazy but just a quick dig - there's nothing like seeing someone else relaxing (deservedly) for people to get martyrish ime. Anyway just reading your Home Ed blog made my Dh's eyes start watering..he was astonished at how much more you seemed to be achieving with your ds2 than I was with a 12 year old Perhaps your dh is feeling under a lot of pressure at work to earn etc, and it is all expressing itself in a nasty jibe.

I finding dh quite interfering at the moment tbh. I tried to get ds2 to help me clear out the shed (which dh had complained about at the weekend) as a fun outside activity (it is full of old garden toys as well as broken lawn mowers) and what does the wretched man do? Say in a sanctimonious voice that I am not allowed to do that because I should be "educating" ds2 and practising writing and that 2 hours of desk work is NOT ENOUGH. I've told him this is not on. I do it my way; he can give suggestions but I am not being told how to do it. So there.

Suitably chastened he has taken ds2 to develop some photos.

It was yesterday he said this btw. Today Dh is behaving a bit better. It is a real balancing act keeping ds2 motivated for the desk stuff and I think I need a lot of freedom to work out how best to structure the day...and NOT someone sitting upstairs in their study to preach what he should be doing at any particular moment. He even told me off because I was doing Phonics at 5pm the other day (no he doesn't want to do that now) Sorry, we are spending 10 minutes on it, just as if he had come back from school and was doing revision for a spelling test - what is the big deal??? grrrr.

done
more phonics
more handwriting
science (communication)
our book
reading aloud

shook out rugs
hoovered bare floor in kitchen
decluttered some dolls
recycling
rubbish
food compost
hung out washing
put in washing
put away laundry

Two kids off to school first thing!

Engels - good idea to sort out the excess baby clothes. And how lovely to have a new baby to look forward to .

Bitchy - well done on making all that sauce.

WhoKnows - thank you for that tip - I will watch out for that. I can put the sticks really high up where there is no way they can climb up (sometimes put a candle up there and they haven't been able to reach it).

I used Oko Best for our last kitten, but have been using the cat litter brand that the breeder provided with these ones (SaniCat Gold clumping litter). Have been wondering how the kittens would cope if I swapped.

Swan - that's a kinder way of viewing DH's comment. I'm going to have to talk with him about it, as it's still needling me and he's noticed a chill in the air at home. And that's nice of you to say that about my home ed blog, but it's easy to look busy if you only talk about all the things you've done and leave out all the cups of tea and biscuits (not that I'm being LAZY of course ).

Sounds like your DH doesn't quite 'get' home ed yet, which is common to most people. Glad you stood up for yourself and he's backed off. Two hours of desk work is LOADS if you're getting one-to-one teaching/facilitating, by the way. I would be hard pushed to get DS2 to do that much.

ta da

Cycling practice
Returned mum's phone call
Snack
Home ed - Maths (Times Tables and number patterns); My Maths
Science - Space topic: discussed the planetarium we are visiting tomorrow
English/Art - DS2 wrote brief biographies about artists for our art scrapbook
Lunch

Am not feeling very motivated today and, clearly, neither is DS2, so we've finished home ed for the day. I now have to somehow persuade DS1 to finally write his thank-you cards then cook a double quantity of mince to feed us for the next few days (budget conscious).

Sorry! Seem to be always posting links at unhelpful times, either in early hrs of morning or too early in afternoon/eve for following day. But hr ahead here and have Confirmation meeting at school this eve and loads to get done before then to make place habitable for baby-sitter again. So going to post Thursday's links now and will be back tomorrow.

Baby-step no. 23 for Thurs 23rd is here adding an 'after school' 'after work' routine to your daily tasks.

We are in Zone 4 this week: the boudoir here. Declutter for 15 mins in this zone.

The detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 4 is here.

Thursday's mission can be found here. Tackle surfaces of chests of drawers.

The daily focus for Thursday is: errand day doc & dentist & hair appts, grocery shop, dry cleaners etc.

The monthly habit for October is getting rid of paper clutter: www.flylady.net/d/habits-of-the-month/october/ .

For a summary of the above, see the flight plan : www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 which should update itself daily.

Keep going everyone! Just 15 mins will make a difference!

Toffee Swan Whoknows Engels and others
sympathies over unhelpful dh's ... mine is driving me mad currently (although away at moment so not too bad!). He can be either (a) quite controlling (in a very benign sort of way) and to be fair he is totally unaware he is doing it or (b) completely 'absent' in terms of emotional investment/input and there doesn't seem to be a setting in between ie cooperation as equals! Completing frustrating!!

Toffee I was also hugely impressed when I read your blog - by how much home ed you had been doing - and how inventively you have been doing it. Like the second item on your list!!

Swan I admire how kindly and forgiving your interpretations of other people's actions always are!

Whoknows >" It has struck me through the process that EVERY single person involved in it so far (apart from DS's class teachers) has been female. " That says it all really doesn't it?

(I also use Cat's Best UNiversal for rabbits btw - for cats and 'rongeurs' - find it very good.)

Engels glad your B12 back to normal and how exciting about all the tiny newborn clothes!!

Bitchy arf at blowing up the food processor - bet you don't want to look at another green tomato for a while

Must dash! BB tomorrow!

PS All up in air atm, but if we go away for a few days during half term (next wk) would someone mind leading thread in my absence pls? Wd only be for two or three nights max. Ta very muchly!

Big feathery waves to all! We're back from our holiday and it's taken me two days to catch up on the thread! You do like to chat!

DS has a viral infection since we've been back, as well as teething of the worst kind I've ever seen. We were out yesterday and he was sick everywhere in the restaurant at lunch time, then sick again in the pram, then again in the car seat.... The smell of it makes me want to puke and cleaning it off non-removable straps is nigh on impossible...

I could rant for hours about my DH who does fuck all at home and thinks I have the easy job with DS and my pissy admin job. He has no sodding clue the amount I do that keeps thd house ticking over and all that's involved in looking after DS.

We use catsan non clumping cat litter. It's rather expensive but hardly any smells. Pets at home sell it cheaper than supermarkets.

I agree about your blog Toffee, I never said thanks for linking it when I asked about the titanic exhibit (which we will definitely be going to!) :) looks fab and it's the kind of approach DH and I have planned if we ever HE (very much a possibility one day). I am now curious as to whether the planetarium you mentioned is one we want to visit too :o

I have no ta da whatsoever. I didn't even manage any of my power of three yesterday! So unmotivated and tired. Not much sleep last night as DS a bit under the weather and came in to bed with me, I made it through work today and even played football with the DCs and then managed to really hurt my foot fail!

Ta da
supermarket and pharmacy
dinner
washing up
first load of newborn clothes out td (about to fold)
three quarters of another unit of work (one of my biggest ones)
lots of mning and fbing on the sofa

Tomorrow DH is off. Hoping we get a better night's sleep tonight.

Plan is that he puts up DS's new chest of draws so I can transfer his stuff and empty baby wardrobe, then cot up and wardrobe into nursery and we are almost there! and I can get on with some MORE washing

While he is doing heavy work I will be supervising DS film day so I can crack on with maternity leave planning - almost half way for subject number 1. Subject number 2 will be more straightforward (I hope) and I will crack on with that next week.

Sorry for lack of personals, have been on laptop for most of the day and logging off now

Very successful afternoon; one of ds2's new "friends" came over and they played football in the garden - whilst I talked to his mum and his sisters felt pleased I had kept some model horses for little girls to play with (even promised to bring the stable down from the loft for "next visit") Another friend also came round.
Then went to Beavers to help make Halloween mobiles.

Several loads of washing
managed to get through more of my spinach kale [!] and feta pie

Ds1 still doing very badly at school - he said he had failed all his Mock GSCEs mind you this is only Year 10 [sigh] And for the first time ever he was late for school, almost unheard of, due to bus diversion. He was horrified.

Dd is again driving me mad looking for a Superdry hoody which apparently the only thing that she can wear tomorrow out of her overflowing wardrobe.

Tomorrow ds2 is on a organised workshop doing something arty so feeling a bit less under pressure. I do have to go too of course!

Coffee oh dear what a nightmare. Hope he feels better soon.

Evening, oh no tomorrow's mission deals with my bad bedroom habit. Chests of drawers are my bad hot spot.

Anyway, today has been productive

Done
Beds
Packed lunch
Dd to school
S&S
Litter tray
Quick trip to croft to decide what to harvest on Friday (plus feeding pigs & goats)
Paperwork! My bit done, just waiting for DH now.
Make dumplings for casserole
Collect DD from school via shop
Dinner
Washing up
Collect stuff for Woodcraft Folk (filled an IKEA bag plus a carrier bag full of banners)
DD to WF
Hot chocolate on return
Crotching

Well, the freshly aired house was shortlived, came back from work / school to find the pong back with a vengeance and centred on the living room, a bit of investigation revealed an overturned glass of milk soaked into the carpet in the gap between the coffee table and the sofa (hidden under a throw). Gross! So, we've had all the windows back open again, I can't really get to it until DH gets home and pulls the sofa out, it looked very crumby down there too and underneath the sofa generally. I used to pull our old one out regularly and hoover under it, but this one is way too heavy for me and the gap under it is smaller so harder to get under with the hoover nozzle.

Also the DCs have announced that they want to move into separate rooms now and not in a few months, so we will have to look into the logistics of that sooner than planned, may be shifting furniture around this weekend (or rather I will be instructing DH where to shift it to).

Bitchy - was it you that posted about the microwave meringues a few months ago? We tried them again at the weekend and they were a total success. Horrendously high sugar levels though.

Swan - you've had a mixed day. Glad the afternoon went well with DS2 and his friend, sorry about DS1 and the mocks.

Coffee - sorry to hear about DS being ill, reminds me of when my DS was about 6 months old and i took him to meet DH and his colleagues (who I'm friends with too) at the pub one lunch time, he threw up all over the place, it was grim. And in the car on the way home (half an hour away). Just awful.

Toffee - I wondered if you'd mind linking your blog again? I did have the link but have lost it. PM if you'd rather.

Sorry to hear about the pong, WhoKnows but at least you've tracked down the source!

Glad you had a good afternoon, swan.

Did a little sorting out today, but the house looks like a bomb site again. Still boys are going to ILs for a couple of days, so will try and restore order while they're not around to immediately trash it!

Whoknows for a long time my sister thought there was a dead mouse beneath her floorboards; the ratcatcher was called in (or mousecatcher). No luck. It was then discovered that the source of the smell was some milk which had leaked under her fridge.

I confess to enjoying cleaning out under sofas. I did the living room undersofa on Tuesday.

Just watched the Apprentice with ds2. Never wear Red if you are trying to sell something was what I took away..demure black and white collar or possibly pale blue somewhere..