Fledglings polish their pumpkins and do their best, it's time for a Fling Boogie Octoberfest!

[Stewedcoot]

Heartfelt thanks to Engels (and Bitchy!) for leading the thread throughout September (Sept always being a busy one) despite feeling a bit poorly and despite being pregnant. Hope beneficial effects of injections kick in soon!

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

Flylady link here.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons . Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine
(2)You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome!

WhoKnows - good to see you back. Am very impressed at you fitting in OU work as well as everything else. Don't worry about whether you are right or wrong in applying for a statement - much better to push for it early and assume it will be needed at secondary rather than leave it too late (speaking as someone who was fobbed off for far too long). Secondary school is the tipping point for so many children who just coped at primary.

ta da

B/fasts
Fed kittens
Dressed to shoes
Washing on
Cleared out litter trays
Put rubbish out
Took DS2 out for cycling practice
Woke up DS1 in time for his Maths lesson
B/fast and meds for DS1
Hung washing outside and put second wash on

Home ed - Maths lesson
Lunch
Reminded DS1 to do his online Maths
Home ed - Space topic
Washing up
Put dry washing away
Put second wash in tumbledryer / on radiators
Cooked dinner (roast chicken)
Unloaded and reloaded d/w
Dinner
Planned tomorrow's lesson
Nipped to corner shop to buy wine
Went next door for drinks with friend/neighbour
Home
Made snack for DS1
Bedtime

Okay quick poll here. I can get the dcs' rooms quickly if I just paint them. But... realistically speaking, the walls should be sanded a bit to even them out (quite bumpy from stbx's plastering attempts). That will take ages to do. Now.. the dcs don't notice these spots at all. I do, of course, but I would, wouldn't I, as an adult?

So.. should I:
1- just paint the rooms and make them so the dcs will enjoy them and worry about sanding and doing a hugely better job when they're a bit older (and can possibly help with it themselves)?

2-take a longer time to get it done now and do it all myself so it doesn't have to be done later.

Two schools of thought on this. Right now I am overwhelmed with so many things, and over my head is hanging ds1's upcoming DLA renewal this spring as well as Christmas coming up and most likely problems with stbx related to Christmas and this spring filing for my divorce (and paying for it!). Getting it done quickly and easily has a certain "less stress" appeal.

Doing all the work now will mean I don't have to do it later, but realistically when I say later I mean a few years in the future. The dcs won't notice a difference at all whichever way I do it - other than they will notice it is taking longer to get their rooms done.

So... am I wrong to want to just do the quick paint job now so they can enjoy it and do the painstaking redecorating in a few years? Opinions??

ta da
I'm dressed!

to do
MISSION: put clothes away (I suspect I need more hangers as so many have broken, but I'm not making a special trip into town just for that - I'll get them on my way to work tomorrow)
Bathe DCs tonight
Plan half term tidying schedule

(Yep, looks like it's a Power of Three day!)

I would say do it once properly rather than rush it. That's coloured by my distinct lack of money though! We've never decorated at all (we rent) but if we owned our home we would do it slowly I think.

Good morning! Bit of a weather contrast to the weekend this morning - very dark and windy! Have just blown back in from the school run.

Just finished home bleugh yesterday when I realised that, in dh's absence, I needed baby-sitter to look after dd while I attended school meeting last night and that she would possibly see the upper rooms. DD's room and the room we sleep in OK, but boudoir that houses all our clothes (including dd's pjs) next to bathroom is the pits. Cue horrible scrabble (ridiculous after so many years of Flying!). Oh dear, when will I learn ... .

Anyway, after that, managed school run, hwk supervision, ballet run, (hovered about in a squall because no point in coming back in between), important school meeting about horribly complicated points system for getting in to secondary school (and learnt about vital stuff which we should have known about ages before frankly) cooked late supper of kedgeree (joined by baby-sitter and friend) sorted 13 sacks of recycling and then dd early to bed and me to clear up.

On the positive side; intend to capitalise on frantic in-roads made yesterday and continue to sort office and boudoir.

Ta da:
rabbits, wm, dw, s&s, dining table hot spot

To do:
serious decluttering boudoir & office
dh's shirts to cleaners
drop something off at friend's house
letter to bank
on-line banking
letter to headmistress
quick supermarket shop
prep supper tonight (plus pudding) and do food planning (out of whack because of entertaining at weekend)
school run
hwk supervision
supper
rabbits
dd early bed

Hope everyone has a good day! Back in a mo to catch up with personals!

Thanks everyone for kind words. :)

Alice I'd say do it quickly and save your energy for the other stuff, esp. as the kids won't notice.

Bitchy I think I made green tomato chutney without peeling them - call it rustic!

SC Yes, distinctly unpleasant out there at the mo. Hoping it will have calmed down later so I can pop out without getting drownded.

Bitchy I peel tomatoes using hot water, much easier. But if you are making sauce, could you cook and then sieve them? No idea if that will work (or just make more mess) Though Blue's rustic chutney sounds good.

Alice get DCs to do the sanding when their older. Or leave it until you have time. Remember Fat fairy says it takes years to get things in a mess, you can't fix it overnight however much you may want to.

Done
Beds
Laundry on
Packed lunch
Dd to school
Baking -2 dozen little chocolate cakes done, 8 scones baking, 1 bread loaf going in when scones come out.

To do
Dry laundry away
Hang out laundry (on clothes horses -grr)
Paperwork from yesterday
Help out at local art gallery, preparing paper mâché balloons for the weekend
Collect DD from school
'Supervise' homework
Dinner
Washing up & SS

[Sips Blue's gratefully whilst dawdling outside Goth's kitchen, enjoying the aroma of freshly baked bread and chocolate cake and hoping for a hand out ]

Argh, this morning hasn't gone to plan thanks to dh sending a load of urgent proof-reading through to my in-box (newcomers don't be too horrified by this - I can actually spell and write proper-like in my rl job - I'm just always speed typing flat out on here!).

Having despatched that, I can now do some mnsetting catch up in the boudoir and home office.

Well done fledglings!! Looks like everyone has been Flying really high! [Proud thread leader emoticon]

Goth I love the way how, even though you get loads of the ordinary mundane jobs done, you always manage to include something interesting in your lists too , such as croft or baking or something creative. A lesson to us all I think. Congrats on having such a productive start to the wk.

May the Power of Three be with you Fuzzpig! (I must also tackle today's mission. There are clothes everywhere in my boudoir, everywhere other than in their allocated drawers and wardrobes!!)

Alice I am dreadful with decisions like that which is why- among other reasons my house remains undecorated with ruddy great holes in the walls. I agree with Fuzzpig that it is better to do things properly if you can, but it is obvious from your post that you are in the middle of a very stressful time at the moment, and as you say, the dc won't notice either way, so guess it is down to how much it will annoy you or not when you look at the bumps! Good luck!

Wow! Congratulations on your extremely productive start to the week yesterday Toffee that's a really impressive list!

Whoknows I am also impressed by your self-discipline in managing one hour of OU study every night on top of everything else. And yes, agree with Toffee about not doubting yourself about statementing. Not that I know much about it, but when dd had her issues end year 4/beginning year 5, the head and the ed psych all agreed that it was optimum if caught early on and resolved well before the start of secondary school if at all poss, so can't be too early in other words.

Alice/Whoknows I'm very impressed by the way you plan your home decorating so well. I intended to have the downstairs decorated by Christmas and I've now dithered so much that I am not sure it is going to be possible. Similar issue to you Alice - should I do another temporary number or should we do lighting/fireplace/in-built bookcases and shelving/extra radiators as we need to do - arrgggghh!! Whoknows arf at granny and high sleeper!

Bitchy good luck with mega tomato-peeling session - think you might have to bring in the Gurkhas-- reinforcements!!

Castle lovely that you have your dma and dsis with you! And congrats on getting loads done yesterday. But if you body is telling you to rest today, then listen to it [footstool].

[Steps cautiously in to vicinity of Engels tries not to spill ] Hope pregnancy rage and red wine withrawal symptoms have diminished a bit today [proffers footstool plus cucumber slices for eyes, fluffy cushions, and aromatherapy candle]. (And to Castle above of course!!) Seriously though Engels v. impressed by ordered way you are tackling school work handover.

Swan well done for hosting lunch.

"I need to have more people to lunch, really I do. It feels like the most exhausting ordeal pretending I live like normal people and it shouldn't be that way!!!!![grrr]3

I think that, secretly, a lot of people feel exactly the same. I know I do!! So you are definitely not alone!

Blue I have finally, finally, managed to look at your scary thing properly and read it fully! Wow! It's so impressive! What a fascinating project! (And of course would be hugely pertinent here in our tri-lingual environment, partic as submersion method of lang acquisition necessitates complete separation of languages, resulting sometimes in signnificant absence of emphasis on interchangeable (or non-interchangeable for that matter) nuance//imagination/expression and the wider reasons behind those similarities and differences etc etc.) Anyway, my waffling aside, think it must be great to focus on something totally different and positive in the school, after such a stressful and difficult time.

Big waves to everyone else including Honu Pushme Just and PA (if you happen to be lurking) Coffeeandcream Feetheart Dizzy Mercury Shannara Nicknacks Gladhoc ¨Sootball and I'm sure loads of fledlings I've inevitably missed!

I have booked reinforcements mum for tomo morning struggling with motivation and there can be no coffee until I get up again. Over slept this morning on threw on dirty cloths to do the school run because 1. I had no time for a shower and 2. It was chucking down and would need to get undressed when i got back. A minor mess up with the fact that my towel was wet in the washing machine meant I had to wait until it got rinsed and dried before I could grab the shower. I am incredibly disorganised but in a productive manner...

ta da
sort out help for tomato peeling
Sort out catching up with some friends whilst ds is away
sort out my order for wool as getting a relative to bring some proper wool when they come to visit as it is cheaper and better quality where they live
Sort out the patterns for the jumpers I want
Sort out a couple of patterns to refer to so I can finish a before ds still on the go project
Have a lovely catch up with mum

Also I have relaxed a bit after the stupid busy weekend and am feeling less weary although it is clear that i have a virusy type thing as well as over doing things. This actually makes me feel better as it is not just horrific burn out and I should feel better quicker when the virus shifts.

To do
important phone calls
Important paperwork
Relax and do some craft
wash ds' kits
Normal laundry

Glad you are feeling a bit more rested Bitchy and reinforcements are booked in!

Blue meant to say, are you a member of SfEP btw? Just noticed quite a few German proof-reading jobs coming through recently, which may be of interest.

Good that your mum is coming to help tomorrow, Bitchy.

ta da

B/fasts
Dressed, etc.
Unloaded and reloaded d/w
Cycling practice cancelled thanks to stormy weather
Treated cats with Advocate, then separated them so they couldn't lick it off each other
Tried to ignore wailing of separated cats
Home ed - Maths
Snacktime / DS1's b/fast and meds
Online shopping order delivered and put away
Home ed - Science and English
Normal life interrupted by DS1 having meltdown over cat going into his room and 'contaminating' it all with the Advocate
Dealt with meltdown
DS1 unable to do his online lesson; gave up trying to persuade him
Lunch
Washing up

It's seeing DS1's over-the-top reaction to a minor event like a cat treated with Advocate going into his room that reminds me he has ASD. He was in such a state afterwards that he had to go back to bed.

Am taking the kittens to Kitten Club later today, so will ask again about using something other than the spot-on Advocate, as I don't fancy going through this palaver every month. I finally had to give in and put the cats back in a room together because they had howled steadily for three hours at being separated. It's also too stressful for DS1, as he thinks we're all going to be poisoned by the medicine.

Right, just time to do a quick crisis clean in the house before DS1's new therapist arrives for her second home visit. And I promised DS2 that we'd make chocolate brownies today.

DH said he thought I was lazy the other day. I've given up trying to persuade him otherwise, as he always seems to think I have the easier life than him because I'm at home all day. I did point out to him that going to work for six hours a day doesn't mean you get to avoid all housework, which is what he seems to think . No idea how to get through to him. Makes me sad. Ah well.

SC no, not in SfEP. Need to look into it properly but not sure that I can afford another professional membership...

Got to go off to reading café at school. Fortunately not raining right now!

After reading comments on here and thinking about it a lot, I'm going to do the faster job of painting the rooms for now, and then doing the more comprehensive job when they're a bit older. I'll have the divorce behind me (less stress), more money (as the divorce will have been paid for then), and it'll give me more time to think about specifically what I want done, like possibly replastering.

I'm taking the time to do the living room, hallway, stairway and bannister more thoroughly as once they're done, other than touchups or slight changes, that's it. But the bedrooms will most likely be updated or changed once they hit their pre-teen years anyway, so that's a good opportunity to get that all done then. At that point I'll be replacing their carpeting as well, so it'll be a complete room re-vamp.

Sounds like a plan Alice.

Whoknows the balance between bedrooms that work and the bedrooms that are good for guests is always a fine balance. Good luck.

This weather is lively isn't it!

lost an evening to researching getting organised. Which is more productive than actually tackling the to do list. Honest

Evening all,

Sorry you've picked up a lurgy Bitchy, good to see catching up with friends on your list, I'm making an effort with that at the moment too (see today's ta-da list later).

Alice - that sounds very sensible to do the quick decorating for now.

SC - don't get too impressed with our re-decorating plans yet, it's over 10 year since we've done any at all, neither of us enjoy doing it and it may not end up getting done properly.

Toffee - you are wise to keep the kits apart, ours made each other ill by licking off their spot treatment not long after coming to live here (and ended up with fleas as well). We make sure we do it during the middle part of the day as we have learnt that this is the least likely time for them to settle down for a nap together and start grooming one another. Not sure if there are any non spot-on treatments though. They may also need worming, have you been advised about that?

Ta-da!

Morning routine / school run
Washing to tumble dryer, swish and swipe
Out to meet friend for coffee
Pilates class
Sainsburys
Home for lunch and put shopping away
Out to meet another friend for coffee
School run
DD to ballet, coffee with ballet mum friends
Home and dinner
DS to Cubs, stayed to help, last time as he goes up to Scouts soon
DCs to bed
Tidy landing, put clothes away
OU work
Bed

Eurgh ... rubs eyes... mornin' ... just woken up having fallen asleep on sofa by mistake earlier this eve...feel about 90 yrs old ...!!

Baby-step no. 22 for Wed 22nd is about making a control journal (if you want to) and banning perfectionism.

We are in Zone 4 this week: the boudoir here. Declutter for 15 mins in this zone.

The detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 4 is here.

Wednesday's mission can be found here. Clean bedside tables.

The daily focus for Wednesday is: www.flylady.net/d/daily-focus/daily-focus-wednesday/anti-procrastination! Do something you have been avoiding!

The monthly habit for October is getting rid of paper clutter: www.flylady.net/d/habits-of-the-month/october/ .

For a summary of the above, see the flight plan : www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 which should update itself daily.

Big feathery waves to all!

**

[SC stumbles back to bed, falling over stacks of books and papers as she goes ...

One dc has been up sick for a few hours. Guess I won't be getting a huge amount done today and certainly no DIY!

Morning Fledglings!

sc think your post was the exact time I woke up and couldn't back to sleep (got DS a new bedside lamp and he switched it on in the night).

castle if I was teaching in the UK or even if I was teaching in a regular or bilingual Dutch school I wouldn't leave half as much but it's so difficult to recruit teachers who have experience of the international system here. They're not used to working with rubrics and most drama teachers aren't used to having to mark any practical or written work at all, since in Dutch schools it's so often an extra-curricular or unassessed subject. I am a little concerned about what's going to be waiting for me when I get back from ML, so want to make sure I am as prepared as possible! The drama teacher we have recruited is good but hasn't taught in English before. Hoping I can hand over to them both slowly over the next month before I go.

Enjoying my 2nd child free day (just dropped DS at nursery) so lots on the agenda for today

Yesterday's ta da
Emptied out changing table/chest of draws and sorted baby stuff that needs to be checked/washed
Sorted DS's old clothes, bagged/labelled for loft
Hoovered DS's room
Cleared nursery of DH's tools and have a final clean/hoover
When DH got home we managed to move the changing table/chest of draws using his trolleys and put in nursery along with nursing chair. DH built DS's bedside table and installed light that we're now wondering if it would be such a good idea
Dinner
washing up
Changed bathroom bin
Showered DS and myself
Chat with mum and Dsis
Afternoon nap/laze while watching The Lake House and MNing
1 load of washing
Ordered maternity coat - none of the others will do up any more!

Today
Ta da
DS packed off to nursery
1 load washing out td and folded
1 load of washing on

To do
Pop to supermarket
Schoolwork - aim at 2 units of work
Do a newborn baby clothes wash
wash net curtains from baby room
Transfer DS underwear, PJs and T-shorts to bedside table
Get started on hospital bag
Reorganise some of attic boxes so there's more room where we need it.

Going to start with a unit of work.

Miserable outside and blowing a gale so staying inside as much as possible - will wait till I get bored or it's nicer outside before heading to supermarket!

Radio 2 on. Cadbury's buttons at the ready. may even light one of my Yankee Christmas Candles as a treat!

Good morning! Still a bit wild and woolly here! Hope everyone survived the night! Although I see that Engels and Alice had a broken one.

Oh dear Alice hope your ds feels better soon [hands over Dettol bottle]. Sorry you won't get any further with DIY today but at least decision is made (which is half the battle I always think)!

Engels congrats on such a productive day yesterday; you sound really on top of things. That handover does look demanding.

Things look very organised chez Whoknows too! You and Toffee have reminded me that I need to give the rabbits a preventative mite treatment (they are so big -the rabbits, not the mites - that I have to use one for dogs). It is a nightmare keeping them separated as more dominant of pair hates being locked up in any sort of hutch and just lunges continually at the sides. So think he will have to a spend day with me upstairs and less dominant will have to be caged downstairs. Won't be doing it quite yet though as they are both moulting and forming their winter coats. They both look a bit Dumbledore-esque atm.

Blue yes all these professional affiliations def not cheap.

Toffee I'd be furious and deeply hurt if my dh said that. Think it is time to go off for a good four or five days on your own (w/e too short) and leave him to it! Hope ds1's second session went well.

Hope you can shake off virus quickly Bitchy and good luck with Operation Tomato!

Ta da:
(gym kit and cooking ingreds organised night before)
morning routine inc dw, wm, s&s, rabbits, dining room table hot spot
school run
quick dive in to fantastic Syrian/Middle Eastern shop
bank
prepped laundry for fortnightly ironing lady

To do:
volunteering slot
school run (half day)
mission
make some sort of celeriac dish
make some sort of veg soup
15 mins x 2 in boudoir and office
make bed
hwk supervision
evening routine

Right, off to parish vestiare ... .

argh 'vestiaire' ie clothes depository (in this context)

at least wind and rain has died down a bit

Big feathery waves to everyone else!

Toffee My DH told me a few months ago that I either do too much so I burn myself out or too little. I was since there is so much stuff that I do on a daily basis that he doesn't even notice, but would bloody well notice if I DIDN'T do it (wash up, load of washing, sweep kitchen floor, repack nursery and change bags, empty bins, beds weekly, hoover downstairs min twice a week, wipe round sinks and toilets every other day, put away shoes, put bins out ready every week). Even when I have a "lazy" day I still do a lot!

DH is home one day a week with DS so he appreciates how much work he is but apart from cooking dinner he doesn't seem to do any of the things that I get done. And we don't even have to think about the home-ed issues you have to deal with.

I find going to work is a breeze compared to being at home.

I would be tempted to spend a week writing a list of everything you get done in a day and put it on his empty dinner plate one evening (while you go on strike).

Hope dc gets better soon alice

Ta da
-got sidetracked by phone call from dh who is threatening to come home early on my day to myself....unless he's going to put up the cot I want him to stay away and give me my peace and quiet to potter!
-Dug out 3 boxes of newborn baby clothes from loft and the mattress to air
-first batch of baby clothes wash on
-yankee candle lit (merry marshmallow - will give you my verdict later - I'm a yankee virgin )
-sorted DS's T-shirts, PJs and underwear and boxed up too small for loft

Okay, must crack on...

SC - yes, that's exactly how I feel about what DH said. He just doesn't get it and never has. He said it's because he came home one day last week to find me fast asleep on the bed (it was around 5pm, I'd been busy all day and I hadn't had much sleep the night before), then I went out to meet friends for a drink.

Engels - I tried the list thing once. He refused to read it and also said it had been an exceptional couple of weeks (as I'd been working on the statement application at the time).

The comment is just eating away at me because it shows such a fundamental lack of understanding.

Anyway, the therapist visit yesterday went extremely well. DS1 showed an admirable understanding of the physiological and psychological process of anxiety - it's just the discomfort of exposure and lack of confidence/motivation that is holding him back. Am hopeful this therapist will do him a lot of good.

The rest of yesterday's ta das are:

Made chocolate brownies with DS2
Licked out the bowl with DS2
Ate chocolate brownies
Unloaded d/w
Washed up cake paraphenalia
Took washing out of tumbledryer and folded
Walked to chemist to collect DS1's prescription
Cooked homemade salmon nuggets, sweet potato chips and broccoli for dinner
Served said dinner to family (DH lying on the sofa watching telly after his hard day at work)
Reminded DH that washing up was his job
Watched 'Walking Dead' with DH and DS1
Settled DS2 to bed
Reminded DH that washing up included wiping down counters and cooker top
Checked emails, etc. (couldn't get onto Mumsnet for some reason - trauma!)
Wiped down cooker top and counter properly as DH's attempt involved leaving great white marks all over them
Gave DS1 his melatonin and high-calorie drink and reminded him to go to bed
Went to bed at a decent time

It's sunny this morning, which means I have no excuse not to take DS2 out for his cycling practice on the local green, as promised.

Hope everyone has a good, productive day.

Toffee - I feel your pain. DH has never actually said that to me, but he does TOTALLY fail to grasp how complicated it is trying to manage the DCs, school, their activities, their appointments, the house, all our admin, car servicing etc and I remember being shocked that he was a bit reluctant for me to go back to work after I had a year off because he had got very comfy with me doing all the SAHM stuff. He pulls his weight a bit more with the day to day stuff (washing up, hoovering etc) now, but not the stuff that requires the brain to be engaged. He has not contributed one jot to the statementing process.