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Housekeeping

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Original poster

Should you offer to show visitors around your home?

53 replies

evelynj · 05/08/2014 21:48

Hi all

Just that really? I do for close f&f but what about e.g. newish school mum friends? I love seeing round peoples homes but don't know what the etiquette is re asking 'would you like a tour. Fwiw, I love my home & happy to show but it's usually messy in a few parts & I I think I have lower standards than most!

OP posts:

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 07/08/2014 15:08

I used to live in a part of the country where this was a thing, I found it very odd. I could understand it if someone lived in particularly interesting or unusual house, but if it's bog standard then it just seems like a strange thing to do.

AMumInScotland · 07/08/2014 15:12

I wouldn't normally, but if something came up in conversation and they seemed interested then I might ask if they want to see the new whatever-we-were-talking-about. Which might lead to showing them more if they looked like they wanted a nosey!

Openup41 · 07/08/2014 18:11

I would never ask to look around someone's home or offer to give a tour of mine. There really is nothing to see.

I have been offered a tour on immediately arriving at someone's home. Obviously their home was not your bog standard 3 bed semi.

People only offer when they know they have a nice home. Reminds me of a colleague who boasted about her £25k kitchen and invited some of the team round to 'admire it' over wine.

DreamingOfAFullNightsSleep · 07/08/2014 21:51

My name is dreaming and I'm an escape to the country/Sarah Beany/home type telly addict (when I ever get to watch it)

I'd love a tour usually . Again, only offered one when we'd just moved and showed a few friends who'd come.rohnd.i only usually.see at a twins group upstairs recently when talking about why we were hoping to extend (before we realised we can never afford it)

minkah · 10/08/2014 12:35

Definitely not.

Unless they are close friends and you've just moved house.

Otherwise NO.

catwithflowers · 10/08/2014 19:25

No. It's just a bit tacky to do so. Sorry

KiaOraOAotearoa · 10/08/2014 19:31

It is very much the done thing around where we live. A few times I was asked for 'a tour' of my house. I'm in a 3 bedroom house. I laughed, thinking they're joking. They were not. Happens quite often.
Still boggles my mind, but since I realised that's what they do around here, I'm going along with it. I don't ask for tours, but they are being offered. All the time.

Lovelydiscusfish · 10/08/2014 19:40

My house is very small so there's not much to see, but as it is a period property with a few interesting features we do find that first time visitors often ask for a tour. At least, I assume this is why - I was hardly ever asked to do this when I lived in a modern house.
I would wait to be asked, though, or at least for hints to be dropped. I love seeing people's houses myself, and always ask for a poke round if I can do so without seeming horribly nosy (which I suppose I am, really).

Ber2291 · 10/08/2014 19:44

I will get flamed for this... It is an incredibly 'common' thing to do. If you've had lots of work done then I suppose ok but really very naff and showy offy just for the sake of it. I wouldn't be offended if someone asked to see though.

KiaOraOAotearoa · 10/08/2014 19:49

You know, I have always been unsure about this whole thing, but in the anonimity of MN I suppose I could ask: what's with the house tours? Why would people do that? Isn't it rude?

Lovelydiscusfish · 10/08/2014 20:19

I don't think it's common - some really posh people have shown me round their houses recently (they did have very interesting houses though, so perhaps that was why?)

QOD · 10/08/2014 20:22

Well, I can tell ya, I get asked usually the first time someone comes round - I've got a group of friends that I've known for about 18 months now, shared hobby, they came en masse and demanded a tour.
Tis odd, but doesn't offend me

Lovelydiscusfish · 10/08/2014 22:53

Just wanted to add, don't think "common" is a thing, anyway, or if it is, that it is a problem to be it. Was just trying to say that lots of super-posh people do this, in my limited experience of going to said people's houses.
OP, if you are proud of your house, fucking show it off! Mine is generally a shit hole, and I still show people round it anyway, if they express an interest.

sacbina · 11/08/2014 15:19

I tell guests where the privy is and assume they'll have a nose when they're up there

KnackeredMuchly · 11/08/2014 18:36

I've gone all cold at the thought of having to show people around my home when I wasn't expecting it.

I only tidy the rooms that I expect people to use, and the pathways...

Secretblackandmidnighthag · 13/08/2014 08:07

Oh fuck off with yourself - "common". I loooove a nose round other peoples' houses so would gladly take you up on the offer, but it's not something I'd expect or have really come across anyone else doing. We did a crazy amount of work when we moved into our house abd some friends have asked to see what we've done because they're thinking of doing things themselves. But normally it's not something people offer IME

NerfHerder · 13/08/2014 19:30

What?

Only if one lives in a stately home, I think!
I would be really bemused if someone gave me a tour of their home, unless it was filled with artworks or had spectacular views or something.

Lweji · 13/08/2014 19:32

It is fairly common in my country, although it wouldn't cross my mind to offer a tour of my home, nor to ask for a tour of anyone else's house.

NerfHerder · 13/08/2014 19:39

Where are you from lweji? (just so I don't commit a faux pas if I visit!)

AdoraBell · 13/08/2014 19:42

My DH does this. Drives me nuts. I don't live in a show home, can't see a reason to show the home.

KiaOraOAotearoa · 13/08/2014 21:57

Well, it happened again in the last few days! I went around a work colleague's place to pick something up. Beautiful day, I was quite happy in the garden, it was really sunny and beautiful and I had precisely 3 minutes before I had to go.
I got the tour of the house. I never asked for it. It was really really unconfortable! It was hard to say anything, they are hoarders, I was hyperventilating, my mind doesn't function in environments where you can't sit down. I really appreciated the fact they felt confortable in my presence to actually open their house to me, it showed trust and being at ease etc. But it wasn't a 'come in for a quick cuppa'. I was actually shown around the house. Had it been just a 'sit and have a cup of something' I wouldn't have blinked an eye. The fact I was shown piles and piles of stuff made me wonder about what you guys are saying. I am sticking to my guns, it is seen as the polite thing to do here.

lightgreenglass · 13/08/2014 22:05

People always ask or we offer as just redecorated - previously an older couple lived her for 50 years so yes I do want to show off and my friends are nosey parkers. Even my neighbours ask to see/offer for us to see their kitchen etc etc. If we don't offer they'd think us strange. However the previous poster anecdote about a passing visit is weird!

Lweji · 14/08/2014 00:19

Nerf, in Portugal, but mostly the older generation.

StampyIsMyBoyfriend · 14/08/2014 00:27

Christ no. Have cringed my way through every guided tour I've ever had.

madamemuddle · 16/08/2014 09:28

No, we showed some friends around last week. Have known them a long time and it's the first time they have been here. We have lived here five years.

I wish we hadn't. I don't actually think they were interested!

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