June 2014: half way through the Flying year, fledglings get themselves in gear!

[slackcabbage]

Heartfelt and huuuumungous thanks to Goth for being such a superlative, consistent and professional thread leader throughout May (and wow to all those fantastic round-ups every night).

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

Flylady link here.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine
(2)You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new then trying to spend 15mins decluttering and the babysteps is the most. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, oldies and newcomers very very welcome!

Alice that must have been awful

Swan thanks, but I'm at "meh" point with it now. I deal with his ongoing "prattishness" and stay no contact as much as humanly possible. I am quite happy to putter about with the DCs on my own now. I am slowly getting things done in the house (we won't discuss the evil garden shed that I need to empty, shore up a bit, and repaint as stbx left it a tip), and I'm mostly happy. I've accepted his stature as "official twat" and moved on.

Toffee I'm sorry - I've just re-read the post I wrote this morning when dashing off on school run - and it seems terribly insensitively written (mentioning your friend and then in virtually same breath talking about rabbits and signing off with a cheery wave so to speak). Sincere apologies x.

Alice I really admire your strength, pragmatism and positivity in what must be a really difficult situation. Totally 'get' what you say about parenting inconsistencies. Well done re: your mega list!

Swan I'm sorry you've had such a stressful time with your dh and hope the waters have calmed a bit. It is exhausting though. I know think this is always a very tiring/emotional time of year - all the dc are fraught and exhausted from school activities and everyone is longing for the holidays! (Well done : re booking ticket to Ireland btw - another one who is very here!!] Plus if you've handled your dc on your own for a while without dh, it is difficult to recalibrate upon his return. As you say, it is difficult to accommodate everyone's different viewpoints (I find this and there are only 3 of us!!)

I certainly identify with your sentence:

"Difficult to know where spoilt ends and becomes sensitive though "
am continually wrestling with this one!!

Bitchy glad to hear you had a good night!

Goth You are on a roll! Arf at operation PHOW . Hope preparations going smoothly and you have managed to get through most of your list! Enjoy your last day of freedom and good luck at the dentist tomorrow!!

Post-exams, dd is now veering between adrenalin-fuelled giddiness and tears at her friends in the class above her leaving for secondary school (they are taught together for 70% of the time so its a close relationship). But thankfully, she is also having lots of fun at school this week too (trips to play grounds, museums, parks, watching films, crafts such as making plaster moulds and dyeing t-shirts etc). I really appreciate all the effort the school puts in to this final week because if the dc are tired, the teachers must be absolutely beyond exhaustion!

Madness isn't quite over yet though, dd has friend here tomorrow afternoon, going to sleepover on Friday/Saturday, going to a leaving party with us on Saturday afternoon, we are entertaining Sun and then dd has birthday tea party on Monday! Then the ballet work-shop begins ...

Another glorious day weather-wise. I am trying to make the most of my last child-free week until Sept!

Ta da:
morning routine inc dw, wm, rabbits, s&s, school run
quick supermarket shop
bank
hung out first wash to dry, re-booted laundry
last parish vestiare session of the academic year - hurrah!
late lunch with friend
folded towels and other laundry
started to organise teachers and leavers presents + cards
school run
gouter on lawn with dd

To do:
NO HOMEWORK OR REVISION yeeeesssss!!!!!
relaxed supper in front of telly (dh away)
early bed

Just changing flags for the match!

Solidarity in defeat and all that ...

I didn't read it as insensitive at all, SC. Quite the opposite, in fact. It was a lovely thing to say.

Have only been able to scan the latest posts, but I'm sorry, swan, that you're on an emotional rollercoaster at the moment.

The only thing I wanted to do - HAVE to do - today is go through the proposed statement, but I have only just finished working with DS2. To be fair, we were having a lot of messy fun (artwork today), but now it's dinnertime and I still haven't picked up the document to look at. The boys have promised to wait another hour for dinner so I can hide myself away with a cup of tea and the sheaf of papers.

The house is unbelievably messy. I have officially given up on it. It's impossible to work from home and have two boys at home (in a small house) without mess everywhere, I've decided. Much less stressful to just accept it.

Only logged on to set DS2 up on ConquerMaths.

You didn't see me here!

Back again, having a list online makes me more productive.

Done
Vacuum DD's room, kitchen, bathroom & hall
Wash kitchen & bathroom floors
Hang laundry out
Next 2 loads laundry on
Wash DD's bedroom window
Post Office
Go to social network meeting (more of a sales pitch)
Get Thank you card & small box chocolates (from Hotel Chocolat) for DD's teacher
Get 3 In Sympathy cards (great uncle in Australia passed away at the weekend)
Get new Terry Pratchett book

To do
Hang out final load laundry
Vacuum bedroom & lounge (DH still making a mess & he needs help!)
Tidy paperwork table
Ironing
Wash bedroom window
Bake coffee cake

Toffee I'm going nuts here with DS1's proposed statement. There are a couple changes and I'm not sure I've found them all in reading it. Worried I'll miss something. Will have to read it one more time this evening after DCs in bed.

done
massive grocery shop (exercise )
tidied kitchen
still putting groceries away though
cooked supper

Maths tutor came at 5pm, a lot of prodding to get ds1 to have a lesson as he was so tired from school/rotten bus journey etc, but cheese muffins and yoghurt and blueberries managed to get him in better frame of mind, and tutor said he would capable of B at Gsce so that is a miracle (the miracle of tutoring I fear)
picked up ds2 on foot (more exercise)
unpacked dd's new wicker basket, and she set to work sorting her room out and arranging things

Toffee I am trying not to mind the mess, but just pick up a few things occasionally - my problem is I never clear up anything as I go along. Dh's study is atrocious but he seems to be able to function very well in it. The SALT lady rang me up and asked me if I'd done any of the exercises she sent and I had to confess I hadn't even looked properly at the pages and pages of ideas. It is so difficult getting a moment to properly concentrate on anything.

Evening all.

I’ve had a shitty frustrating day at work today. Spent all this morning invigilating exams and all afternoon marking. Was the last person in our department area after school today by an hour. A good 3 hours after management left (because they don’t have any sodding exams to mark or reports to write). Will end up doing the same tomorrow to ensure I don’t spend all of my weekend completing my reports just half of it

And what’s actually making me angry is that they’ve just published the timetable next week for meetings/supervision/end of term stuff and they are seriously taking the piss. Of my 3 day working days I will have a day of normal lessons (lots of other teachers will have cancellations because of special events happening), a 14 hour day with no free periods (and won’t be home before 10 because of end of year do with all parents and students) followed by another heavy day of 8 till 5 with no downtime or free periods to get on with the million and 1 things I am magically expected to have done before the end of term.

I KNEW they were going to pull this shit again (had sent an email to line manager last week to try and ensure it didn’t happen again this year) but lo and behold here it is again. I feel so angry about it and know that I cannot cope physically or emotionally with what they want me to do next week. I may have to pull the pregnancy card or have an emergency medical appointment on Thursday morning. I will be having strong words with my line manager tomorrow morning, but did that again last year and didn’t get anywhere. He nods his head and smiles and tells me he sympathizes but doesn’t do anything about it. Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Okay, glad that’s out of my system.

In other news, DH has been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. Hopefully the wake up call he needs to GET OFF HIS FUCKING ARSE! I have been telling him for years that he needs to MOVE. He has a desk job and does no sports and spends every evening and most Sundays on the sofa. Spending a few hours every Saturday moving around doing chores is not enough and scoffing shit every evening will not help either It wasn’t the answer he was looking for with his alopecia, exhaustion and million other physical complaints, but I bet that dealing with it may actually help him feel better and healthier.

Sorry for me me me post - am reading I promise but feeling exhausted and overwhelmed right now

And on that note I will be heading to bed.

my problem is I never clear up anything as I go along

Swan this is me too. I have been making a huge effort to break this habit, and I have to say that it HAS made a difference. But I have to remind myself constantly.

Engels cross post, but here's some for you. (none for your DH though ) Sorry to hear you've had a shit day. Get some rest and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Engels I am so sorry about the working situation. Personally I think this is where self preservation triumphs over professionalism and you should definitely play the pregnancy card, especially if you warned them that the workload was excessive last week.
Also, I just wanted to say I have a very healthy friend who developed Type 2 diabetes so it sometimes does come unexpectedly. He played squash and ate vegetables all the time, and was v energetic. Sometimes it is just bad luck. He manages it very well, and lost weight as a result of being forced to observe further restrictions.

Thank you ladies. I may also be a tad hormonal today I am not a naturally angry person but I really felt the rage this evening and have just had a sobbing cry over DH with stupid thoughts about something happening to the baby, or DS or DH.

I need a fucking holiday!!!!

Just coming to wave quickly before a very early night. I still have more work to do for school but I am so tired I am going to have an early night and get up early to do it in the morning.

Engels I really hope your line manager does help I can only imagine how hard it must be to juggle all of your responsibilities whilst pregnant.

evening all

engels sounds a bad day indeed.sorry to hear about dh too, but hopefully like you say it will mean changes to be healthier.
toffee I remember your struggles with ds from when I was on thread before. Glad to hear it sounds as if things may be improving a bit for him.
aliceandtoffee the whole statementing process is a nightmare but sound like you're on the last leg now. Hang in there it will be worth it. Took me about 3 years to get dd3s all properly sorted but it has been a big help to her since then.
swan dds bedroom sounds lovely. Yay for new laundry baskets!hope things are calmer for you today.

ok, well busy couple of days here.
busy work day today with minimal FLYing.
did manage a bit though
done:
6 dc up dressed, breakfasted and to school
2 lots of washing washed, dried and put away.
hung up large pile of previously washed clothes in littlies' room
cleared breakfast things
went to work
came home - took ds1 for job interview! (he's starting A levels next year and wants a Saturday/evening job)
came home
despatched ds1 to his end of school prom
sorted out some paperwork
updated calendar

that's about it!

should be slightly less hectic tomorrow so need to:
sweep and mop floors
hoover throughout
change hand towels
fill in and post standing order form

more no doubt I shall add to!

Sorry to hear people have been having bad days. and hugs all round.

Pretty grim here right now. There is a week till the school becomes an academy and nothing short of a miracle will stop it. They got a lot of parents on side by promising not to change the name, logo or uniform, and now it's too late, they're changing the name, logo and uniform. So all the parents who didn't give a damn are suddenly up in arms. DH is also up to his eyes in stress at work, so on the ragged edge. Boys are, unsurprisingly, picking up on all the tension and being generally challenging. The house is a tip with school-related paper everywhere, and I'm feeling fat because I'm resorting to cake far too often. Oh, and the school's closed tomorrow because of flooding caused by a sudden downpour at hometime which got into the electrics - lovely new building, and the only classroom that didn't flood is the portacabin! [anger]

Oh dear, lots of angst on this thread at the moment .

hyperhops - I only remember one poster with six DC - did we exchange pms once? If you are who I think you are, I once (half jokingly) accused you of being my son's psychiatrist... (lucky for you that you're not ). Glad to hear you managed to get your DD's Statement sorted out.

Oh, Blue, I'm sorry all your work hasn't paid off. You did everything you could. It's so unfair to inflict this on the school when nobody wants it .

Engels - your work situation sounds intolerable, especially when you're pregnant. I agree with swan's advice. And I'm so sorry about your DH too. If it helps a little, several of my family members have Type 2 diabetes and all have adjusted well, after the initial shock of diagnosis was over.

Alice - sorry you are also going through the proposed Statement stuff. I'm so worried I'll miss something. I spent a couple of hours on it this evening, then gave up after I'd poured myself a glass of wine. Will have another go tomorrow.

Swan - I have given up tidying up as I go along too. Nobody else does it and I'm fed up with chasing after them all. So I'm just letting the mess pile up, whilst I focus on priorities like Statements, home ed and basic chores. If both DC get into schools for September and DH starts working in his new office at work, I might finally get a chance to sort out the mess.

SC - sounds frantically busy in your life at the moment (as usual!). Glad your DD is having so much fun at school.

to Goth, Bitchy, Droit, Feet, Honu, WhoKnows, Ellie, Mercury, Eyelet, Castle, Blue, Carpe, Feet, Dizzy, PA, VerySeriousGirl and apologies to anyone i've forgotten. (Thinking of Just - hope she's ok).

SC - have only just seen your reference to my knob-polishing skills . Made me giggle.

I have a kitchenful of dirty dishes, but I may just disobey Flylady tonight and leave it till morning.

My house is a tip too, I also had a tough couple of weeks with statement stuff and am visiting possible secondary school SENCOs in my spare time this week. When I am at home in the day it feels too hot for much housework. Also I disappear to the allotment at every available opportunity. I can highly recommend it for a bit of time out.

Anyway, I have implemented a nightly to do list in a notebook small enough to carry around in my bag in an attempt to restore some order to my life. Must get to bed, night night lovely Fledglings.

That's a good idea about the notebook, WhoKnows. I used to have a big 'to do' notebook in the kitchen, but I had forgotten all about it. Time to reinstate it, I think.

Best of luck with the school visits. I'm in the process of trawling through schools to visit too. I don't know where to start.

Silly hour to still be up, of course. I suddenly decided that I couldn't bear the mess downstairs, so spent an hour and a half washing up, tumble drying wet clothes and folding up laundry. Then I prepared home ed stuff ready for morning.

DS1 is still awake too, though meant to be going to bed now. I'm wide awake.

**

Baby-step no.25 for Wed 25th is : here. Reading Flylady's testimonial as to how she developed her routines and how consistency is important but perfectionism is not.

We are in Zone 4 : The Master Bedroom (June 22 – 28) this week here.

Declutter in Zone 4 for 15 minutes a day!

Detailed cleaning list here if you are at that stage.

Wednesday's mission is here. Organising the bottom of your wardrobe, more specifically, your shoes. And while you are about it, throwing two pairs away.

Wednesday's daily focus is: anti-procrastination. Do something you have been avoiding.

The monthly habit for June is drinking more water.

To summarise the above, today's flight plan can be found [[www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 here]] and will update itself automatically.

*

Goodness, I'm sorry not to get back on here last night (owing to a French air traffic control strike, dh came back unexpectedly!). Really sorry to hear that so many of you are going through such stressful times ... .

Engels I'm sorry about your work situation. No wonder you are upset. That sounds so unfair. Do you have a union representative or some older, experienced teacher who could lend support when you talk to your line manager today (although that is what your line managers should be doing isn't it )? Or could you go to your ob/gynae and get some sort of certificate (stress-related)?? A 14 hr day without breaks when pregnant is madness! Good luck getting your point across today. And sorry, that at the same time, your dh is diagnosed with diabetes II. That's a lot for you to cope with all at the same time. Hope he gets the right support and can manage it well.

Blue I'm sorry to hear that all the changes are going through, despite your hard fought campaign. And that your dh is having to cope with such a stressful job too (I know the ripple effect that can have throughout the whole family). The school flood must be the final straw ... hope you can take a day out away from it all today... .

Whoknows sorry to hear you have had such a stressful time of late too but hope the school visits are going well. (It's such a stressful decision to make anyway.) Good to hear that the allotment is providing a bit of solace. Notebook idea sounds excellent.

Toffee congrats on completing the proposed statement (and on the moonlit crisis clean!). You sound as if you have huge amounts on your plate to deal with as usual. Good luck with school visits and hope all the plans for Sept work out for everyone.

Alice sorry you are also having to deal with the stress of a proposed statement too. Good luck with it.

Hyperhops Blimey what a post!! Your list makes me feel quite weak at the knees. And ... duh.... the words '6 dc breakfasted and off to school' and 'littlies' have just sent a huge bell ringing in my very dull brain. I'm so sorry!! I've just realised who you are!!! Sorry to be so dim!!!! And welcome back !! Hope your ds1's interview for a Saturday job went well!

Big waves to Mercury!! Hope you are hanging in there ok x

Swan what a lovely mother you are providing cheese muffins and yoghurt and blueberries for an after-school snack. Great news about your ds1's improved maths level!! I am very bad at clearing up after myself too, dh never did, and unfortunately dd is following my poor example.

Goth I'm sorry to hear about your Great Uncle x. Congrats on completing such a serious list - Operation PHOW is going well I see thanks to all of your hard efforts!!

Big waves to Bitchy, Droit, Honu, Ellie, Eyelet, Castle, Carpe, Feet, Dizzy, PA, VerySeriousGirl and just!

I hope I haven't missed anyone out - apologies if so - but dh urgently needs computer.

Rabbits are being neuteured today. Sounds a bit trivial compared to what eveyrone else is going through on here but I'm a bit worried but vet is good so have paws crossed and all that!

Must dash!

Have a good a day as poss everyone!

Anticipating a long day today. Feeling a bit under the weather. I'm supposed to be meeting a group of friends for lunch today for someone's birthday, but the thought of eating a meal out makes my stomach lurch. I think I'll have to pass on it for now. If I am coming down with something, I don't want to give it to all my friends.

I'm tempted to do my second coat of paint on my living room walls today. As long as I don't over do it, I should be able to slowly get through the whole room while the DCs are in school. And then at least that's done.

I'm curious about wallpaper, for any of you that have done it. The wallpaper is "paste the wall" type, however friend is saying that you never paste the wall, always the paper. Thoughts on this? As I'm baffled as to why the instructions say paste the wall, if you're not intended to.. well... paste the wall. Surely if it says the wall, it should be okay.

Sorry, no idea Alice, only ever done paint. Hope you feel better soon.

This is my To-do notebook Flipnotes. It's tiny and really light, the cover is aluminium and the pen holds it shut. I've tried so many others and they just end up getting trashed in my handbag, or they are too heavy and I end up leaving them at home.

I need to go and change my flag again, every team I pick for the World Cup gets knocked out

Ooh, that's weird, I came back to test my new flag and found it has changed retrospectively on all my old posts.

It does whoknows

Alice I know that what you do depends on the wall paper due to the way that the wall paper is constructed. Traditionally you always pasted the paper and not the wall. When you bought the wall paper did you calculate enough for repeating patterns etc? I would suggest trying 1 piece with the method that the paper suggests, and if you have over requirement trying a piece with pasting the paper (or just small pieces of both) I suspect that pasting the wall will give best results for that paper. Are you tackling corners with the paper? They can be fun yep dad wanting a boy thing again

Right I have a long list of stuff that needs doing but i know i am procrastinating because it will require me getting photos taken i fucking hate having my photo taken Must stop procrastinating, well it is anti-procrastination day.