June 2014: half way through the Flying year, fledglings get themselves in gear!

[slackcabbage]

Heartfelt and huuuumungous thanks to Goth for being such a superlative, consistent and professional thread leader throughout May (and wow to all those fantastic round-ups every night).

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

Flylady link here.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine
(2)You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new then trying to spend 15mins decluttering and the babysteps is the most. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, oldies and newcomers very very welcome!

well dd has gone to school, in a foul mood because I hadn't organised things the way "daddy does" and my sandwiches "fall apart". And the final words bellowed through the hedge at 7am were (in tones of deep reproach) and "aren't you even going to say You Love Me" so I think she'll be fine

Dses are rummaging through various pieces of uniform and scraggy pencil cases to depart.

Today is going to be very busy as I need to meet someone in Denmark Hill and I'm dreading the journey lack of notice but it is unavoidable.

About to drive ds2 to school.

Really sorry you couldn't sleep last night, SC. Hope you managed enough sleep in the end.

Swan - hope the journey went ok today.

This morning, I convinced DH that we should get two kittens, not one. So, we now have two 10-week-old kittens arriving mid-August! Am so excited!

Managed to get both boys out later this morning. DS1 is building up to going out again, but it's really hard work getting him outside. DS2 seems to have picked up on that now and also doesn't want to go out. It's maddening. I wish normal things were less of a battle in our family.

Very little Flying going on, apart from a load of laundry.

About to start 'lessons' with DS2 now.

Afternoon, just coming on here for a restorative between parish vestiare duty/school run and before negotiating the quagmire that is revision hwk [oh joy]. Feeling a bit battered by the day: thanks to humid weather and elusive sleep.

Virtually no Flying to report - didn't even manage morning routine this morning . Just managed to throw a few clothes in to wm and need to tackle dw shortly. Absolutely no decluttering/tidying achieved again.

Very quiet on here today! Hope you are all OK!

Thx Toffee hopefully will catch up on sleep tonight! How exciting about the furry bundles!! I have a friend who swears that animals should always be kept in pairs!! She says she would never, ever have a lone cat or dog ever again... . And if it's any consolation lots of "normal" things remain a battle in our house too ... bathing, hair-washing, toe-nail clipping, hair brushing, to name but a few!! Good on you for persisting and getting both of the boys out today!!

Hope you survived the scary drive Swan! DD also going through "you don't love me" phase despite us telling her we do at least 5 times a day!

Right, had better get on ... conjugaison revision beckons ... groan ....

Big feathery waves to everyone!

today I went to visit someone whose partner has been in a very serious accident, a long train journey across London required, so I've been out of the house all day, but relieved to be back home safe and sound and everyone else safe and sound too, mess seems a small price to pay for health atm.

I'm sunburnt now, so Vitamin D levels must be raised.

children are on the Wii, Dd has a new passtime, buying lyrca from the sportswear shop for the newest reason, rafting!

Ds2 has to write for his homework 2 paragraphs on why home edding might be a good idea that was an easy homework..

sausages, black pudding and boiled potatoes for supper, I cooked broccoli but noone but me has eaten it.

Dh seems to have calmed down now he actually is away from us, and is enjoying the delights of Rome (why wouldn't he???)

Toffee I find it very difficult to get the children out of the house on a random basis, but I have found child labour errands are a good starting point - it can break the ice. I've on occasion made ds2 write a card and post it.

Just checking in.

I have not flown today, I have instead sobbed many a time, the first being at 9.10am after dd1 covered me and the sofa in coffee after leaping on it as I drank my first cup of coffee after a night with maybe three hours sleep in it. The resulting yelp from me then woke the baby who was asleep in the buggy after we'd done a lap ofthe block.

Now a week of four hours or less sleep a night.

On the upside I'm now lying in bed with the curtains open looking at our garden in the moonlight. Pretty fab. I did get rhe following done.

Dry laundry put away
breadmaker made a spicy bread (I just filled it)
washed down the hall floor
made lunch and dinner
managed to NOT eat chocolate
watered the garden
Packed nursery bags

g'night all

Eyelet - both my boys were poor sleepers, but particularly DS1. Please watch out. I thought I was coping on so little sleep, but ended up being diagnosed with PND when DS1 was nine months' old, which I'm certain was linked to lack of sleep. I know there's not a lot you can do about your DC waking at night if you're breastfeeding, but do grab or create any opportunity to sleep or at least rest in the day.

Sod the Flying. The important thing is just for you and DC to come through this difficult patch.

Good morning all! Another sticky/muggy night but managed to sleep from 11pm until 4.50pm. Still very quiet on here! HOpe everyone OK!

Swan I hope your friend's partner recovers as quickly as poss in circs and glad your dh beginning to enjoy his sojourn in Rome!

Eyelet poor you you must be absolutely exhausted!! Hope no serious burns resulted from coffee spill. Wise words from Toffee¨ there! Sod the Flying for now, sleep is far more important! Take care xxx

Big waves to Toffee and Goth and everyone else!!

Hello to Just and Honu if you happen to be lurking!

**

The baby-step for today, no. 11 for Wed 11th is: here. A somewhat 'meh' one about writing down inspirational phrases.

We are in Zone 2: the Kitchen (June 8-14) www.flylady.net/d/zones/zone-2/here.

Declutter in Zone 2 for 15 minutes a day!

Detailed cleaning list here if you are at that stage.

Wednesday's mission is here. Tackling the refridgerator (without being a perfectionist about it).

Wednesday's daily focus is: anti-procrastination. Do something you have been avoiding.

The monthly habit for June is drinking more water.

To summarise the above, today's flight plan can be found [[www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 here]] and will update itself automatically.

Have a good anti-procrastination day everyone!

Oops, I'll just repeat that Zone 2 (Kitchen) link:

here

Morning all. Sorry i went awol again for the beginning of the month but life has rather taken over. DH and I have split up. Long term regulars will know we have been here before and got back together and tried to make it work but it just hasn't. We don't make each other happy anymore and we both deserve to be happy. The dc's and I have moved into my mum's and will stay here for a while whilst things are sorted. DH is going to stay in the house and i am going to find somewhere to rent. If I posted that last sentence on relationships they would be up in arms. However, I am in a better financial position than DH and he wouldn't be able to afford to rent anything near the size of our house and our mortgage is small. I can. DC's are ok. Being very brave. I know they will be fine and it is better for them to see us happy than living in the middle of an unhappy marriage. I am as ok as i can be in these circumstances. Coping but knackered but know, deep down, this is the right thing for all of us.

On the plus side, mum has a cleaner. On the negative, i love my mum but living with her may drive me to.

Better get ready for work. Hope everyone is ok.

Oh Ellie I am so sorry to hear your news; think you are being brilliantly brave as well as your dc. Sometimes it is much easier but wrong to 'let things be'. Take it steady as this must be so exhausting coming on top of op as well. Good that you have good support from your ma though xxx

And will order in extra stocks for naughty corner bar for those occasions when sharing a kitchen gets a bit testing

ellie - I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope the fledglings can provide a small amount of light relief and support in the midst of life's challenges ((hugs)). Sounds like you might also need some of this .

SC - yes, humid here too. DS1 slept on the sofa downstairs as it was just unbearable in his loft bedroom, even with the window open and a fan on.

DS2 woke us up at 6am AGAIN . Am getting so fed up with this.

Right, need to start home ed asap as I have to take DS1 to the dr for an appointment at 11. Am hoping to get both boys to the hairdressers beforehand. DS1 is turning feral at the moment and self-care/grooming is not on his 'to do' list.

Ellie . You've tried so hard and I am sure are strong enough to make this work for your DCs.

Sorry for being AWOL too, I am in a lurking frame of mind at the moment.

DH has cut DS1's hair. I'm scared to look - but anything has to be an improvement on the hairy mammoth look.

Ellie you have to do what's best for you and your family. Good luck at your DMs, I stayed with my parents between moves and it was strange how easy you get back into being the child (although I did have to do my ironing)

Done
Beds
Laundry on
Packed lunch for DD
S&S
Laundry out
2nd load laundry on
Finished hemming bedroom curtains

Parents are coming up in 2 weeks, so I'm catching up on the the unfinished jobs from last year , next job is hemming lounge curtains! We've only been here 20 months.

Sending all the strength and you could possibly need to you Ellie

I have heat rash/prickly heat. It is horrible. I have also put my back out. won't be doing much flying.

Don't worry Goth I am finally unpacking boxes in the roof from a decade ago

Ellie even if the separation is another chance to work out what you need and want, it is a good thing for now. PS after an op there is a big emotional backlash as everyone is so worn out with coping and getting through, and more emotional demands can seem like the final straw.

done
big fail on the organisation as ds1 confessed he had not done some massive D&T project at 7.30 this morning. Actually, do you know in my new improved"school is my servant not my master" mindset, I am not going to let this ruin today, so I've decided the best thing is that TODAY he is going to deal with the massive backlog of all his homework, get it sorted, and not get yet another sodding detention (which further puts him back timewise/motivationwise) So I have kept him at home to recharge. Suddenly he has stopped shouting and is being delightful. He is doing English and has done his Spanish already. And practised for his Joseph part for an hour.

We have sorted out the history GSCE malarkey. School being helpful - I think they only wanted to put him in for something he could DO and showed an interest in, but as Geography has got more advanced I think it is beginning to pall for him, so history may be a better fit. He'll not do that well in it, but at least he might watch a few films which would spark his interest in the eras.

The garden is so beautiful this morning, I am staring at diascias, self seeded blue lobelias in the paving, impossibly salmon pink roses like ribbony rosettes you might give someone as a prize, clouds of perennial geraniums, and dappled shadows.

Twins are at school. And this afternoon the roofer is coming to check the chimney stacks. Nightmare. Will have to grin and bear it.

ellie - as usual, Swan hits the nail on the head: you and DH have both been through so much recently that it's not surprising that your relationship has suffered. Bereavement can be very isolating too and often separates us from our loved ones, rather than bringing us closer. I hope your mum is very kind to you - you need it.

Swan - well done on finding a solution to the issue this morning. I'm glad to hear school is being helpful about the GCSE issue now. Love your description of your garden .

Bitchy - owch, that sounds painful. Hope rash and back improve soon.

SC/ Goth - we still have unpacked boxes in the loft. We have been here for 12 years now .

I really messed up this morning . DH and I were both walking on egg shells, trying to get DS1 ready for his doctor's appointment. DH cut his hair (not too bad) and DS1 had a bath. Meanwhile, I worked with DS2 on his writing, English and Maths and was so frustrated by his lack of attention. And I despair at his unreadable writing. He doesn't seem to be making any attempt to improve it.

Then, I gave DS1 warning that we had to go in 15 minutes (if he doesn't get warning, he can't cope). Another warning 10 minutes later. Eventually, it was time to go, so I called him down - and he came bounding down the stairs, wearing only his pants. I lost it. I shouted at him. If you shout at him, you always lose the battle, but I was so tired from DS2 waking me up at 6 (after going to sleep at 12.30 after dealing with DS1) and so frustrated from dealing with DS2's work that I snapped.

So, of course, DS1 had a meltdown and now won't speak to me, DH was furious with me for ruining everything and went off to work saying he had to earn some bloody money and DS2 retreated to his bedroom to get away from the madness. And then I had to ring the doctor to cancel the appointment that we had spent all morning getting ready for.

Feel as if I'm going to explode sometimes.

And no, I haven't done any Flying, apart from washing up. I went back to bed for half an hour and hid from everyone.

ellie I am sorry, I'm new (to this thread) so don't know back story but hope that your mum doesn't drive you too mad too soon and that everyone adjusts to the new arrangements.

toffee your sleepy dust worked! That and the dose of ibuprofen I gave bubba at midnight - she still woke regularly but I think she is struggling with being too hot, feverish, teething etc and at least there were no four hour scream fests.

In honour of the June aim I bought a water bottle today which fits in my handbag - aim is to drink 6-8 a day and try to cut down on the coffee (sleep permitting).

I know I am placing too high an expectation on myself to try and keep the house tidy and more importantly clean but I have let it drift since I came back to work after ML and its just made everyone miserable so I have to figure out a way to keep everything ticking over.

Work today. Still haven't managed to clean the bathroom.

goth I have still got to adjust the bedroom curtains in DD2s room - one is done and the other isn't!

Swan and toffee hope the day improves......

Thanks one and all for the kind words, the wisdom, and . swan, as ever, hit the nail on the head. We have had one hell of a year so far and i think that has just caused all the negatives that have been swept under the carpet to rise to the fore. I am trying desperately hard to make the brave decisions sc. It is not easy but it is right. For all of us. And in a year's time when the dust has settled we will be happier. All of us. Tis fecking hard though.

Tonight I am mainly going to drink the so kindly offered. Just been and collected a couple of bags of stuff and now to swimming lessons and normality.

Thankfully, mum is still rattling around my old family 4 bed home in solitude so there is plenty of space there. She is being amazing (although secretly i think she is quite pleased...she wouldn't say it to my face though). Interestingly I had a conversation with my BF from work who knows me very well but has barely met DH. She says that it has been clear to see for a number of years that i haven't been happy, i just wasn't prepare to be brave and admit it to myself. I think she may be right.

Sorry to come on here and pour out my thoughts and bore you. I might clean a sink later or something.

Toffee I hope you don't think our household is completely bats but ds2 quite regularily appears "in his pants" thinking that is "ready". It drives us berserk too. But what drives us more beserk is when he cannot actually find any pants due to my lack of laundry sorting . I think of ds2 being like Gandhi, happy in a loin cloth

I don't think you should beat yourself up about the inattention atm. Ds2 sounds very attentive when he in the right frame of mind. Maybe this week is not the week for reading and writing but for something else unquantifiable. Sundial? Rainwater levels? Sweeping up leaves in garden? Jam tarts with quantities? You have had such a horrible week worrying about your friend, it must be a very hard time added on to everything else.

I've got through today by a series of compromises and plain giving up (cancelled the roofer's visit as it would have meant shifting rubbish in the shed) Absolutely knackered by yesterday, and tomorrow I need to go again to South London to help friend so I need to conserve energy.

Dd has gone off to see her friend's quails newly hatched Ds1 continues to be in an excellent relaxed mood, and ds2 has just walked up the hill with me from the tube. The kitchen is tidy because a friend came to coffee. But only because of that.

My day has improved: just heard we have got the statement of SEN for DS1 ! Can't believe it! I emailed them this morning and I've just had an email back. They will send me the draft later this week.

Am celebrating with .

elllie - sounds like your mum will be a good support to you and your children in the next few months. Interesting that your BF had spotted signs that all was not well...

Sod the sink cleaning Ellie have some instead!!

Toffee that is truly something to celebrate! So happy for you!!!

And you need a glass of red with which to relax this evening before helping out your friend again tomorrow Swan

Eyelet you are definitely in need too!!

And Goth!! And everyone else!!

[SC blows cobwebs off the bar, polishes glasses, starts de-corking bottles]

Help yourselves!!!

Toffee that is the most amazing news. You worked very hard to get that statement - they seem to demand that parental pound of flesh let alone dealing with actual child with SEN that the parent has to do. You must go through the draft with a fine toothcomb from what I read on the SN threads. And so brilliant to get it before the system changed.