The Hoarders Anonymous Thread. Sorting It Out.

[Solo]

There was a thread that I was involved in some time ago which was started by someone trying to understand why her Dh kept so much 'stuff' and couldn't throw anything away.

The thread quickly turned into a support thread for many MN hoarders and there was a large support network that evolved from that thread.

Eventually, the thread died and with it, certainly my 'support and encouragement mates' circle...

From other threads where lovely Mumsnetters have supported and given rl help, there have come other hoarders, untidy people and those who are just plain stuck in a rut admitting they have a problem. People like me that have become emotionally attached to stuff and it has taken over their homes and their lives. People that cannot cope after loss of different types (parent, relationship, job etc) and it just turns into one big nightmare ~ it certainly did for me following my relationship breakdown, my Dad dying and another nine people in my life passing away inside 11 months.
Personally, I feel that being unable to let anyone in through my front door means that no one can hurt me; I've pulled up the drawbridge, so no one can get to me and shoot me again.

I've always been a bit of a collector of things. I'm a make do and mend type and I can make something out of nothing. Trouble is that once I started to lose important things (people mainly) from my life, I felt unable to let anything made of something go...what if I could never get or have another?! that'd be terrible right?

So! that is a part of my story and here is a thread of support and encouragement (I hope) for others feeling overwhelmed by their hoarding, clutter and stuff. I am hoping that I can get my life sorted out and that there are others that will come along on the journey and perhaps also sort out their homes and lives.

I want to raise my drawbridge and invite friends in. Anyone else? :)

Still sorting, decluttering, throwing away, wondering what the heck I'm going to do with everything!!!

I booked a storage unit today. I "take possession" next Thursday. I plan to go through the house and sort stuff into boxes and get it out of the house. Then, when I can see clearly maybe I can make decisions a bit more easily.

When I am surrounded by mess I can't think straight, I can't see the floor, I can't make decisions. It is a tough task and all I want to do is hide under the duvet and not look at any of it!

Solo how are you doing with the throwing away? What can you do with it? What is it mostly?

It's mostly paperwork that needs going through and throwing out/shredding, but things like coat hangers , books that Dd has out grown (what to do with them!!), I have loads of stuff to get rid of.
I have emptied three underbed, lidded containers of clothing and filled them with next christmas' gifts that I bought in sales. They are now on top of my wardrobes (for now). I have to go through my clothing again, but have already got a bag to go to c4c and a bag of rag for bank, so will get there eventually!
I have got a storage thing reserved, but im going to try to get a lot of boxed stuff in my dining room so I dont have to rent a bigger space.

I understand about the books. DD and DS made big piles of them but i sat with dog-eared copy after dog-eared copy looking at the pictures and thinking, "But I remember reading this to you and you used to love it "

Now with two teens one of whom hardly needs me I think back to those beautiful toddlers all clean from a bath, snuggled under the covers .....
"I wrote to the zoo......" " In a beautiful pea-green boat"......." And his favourite food is fox ice cream".... etc, etc.

I still love the books but they won't have them in their rooms. (Not cool, waste of space..)

I also have a paperwork problem. Clothes not too bad as I haven't bought any really for years. I have a lot of kitchen equipment, electrical stuff, china and glass.

Sounds as if you have made some progress though. That's good. And clothes to c4c and rags is good as they are at least going to be used in some way.

I am going to go to the tip tomorrow with hundreds of pots of paint, (well about 25), all half empty and kept in case i need to touch up a wall or something.

Keep strong.

:)

I am making my yearly attempt to declutter, I hope you don't mind people joining this thread ?

Nice to see you plugging away at your house still....hope things are going well for you.

House wise it is better than last year but I still need to get rid of stuff. I have chucked all old, outgrown clothes for everyone x 6

Cleared out our spare room, we only have bedrooms now....no where to dump stuff, so it all has to go.

We have only got boxes to sort in our room only ! Under our bed are things that need selling or long term storage.

At the foot of my bed I have four boxes of random stuff, 90% needs chucking but I can't do that without reading each sheet and check it isn't important, sigh.

Then at the side of our bed we have four boxes of husbands stuff which he needs to sort though.

Rest of house is looking ok, most surfaces clear appart from a few hot spots I need to put out.

Then next massive job to declutter is too get rid of 2/3 of the toys. Hoping to get that started over the half term holiday...wish me luck. :)

Babies!!!!!!!! hello!!!!

Sounds like you've all but cracked it! well done you!

I'm still going, but getting nowhere fast! and ~I'm considering taking Dd away for a few days to visit friends in east Anglia when I ought to be sorting out my house!

Solo - visiting in East Anglia sounds nice. ( Whereas decluttering on the other hand........)
Babies - clear surfaces are unheard of here so you are well ahead of me. Well done.

I didn't go to the tip as we had various unforseen things pop up and it just didn't happen. ( Ice dancing on tv, a single sunny day....) I now have a car full of rubbish.

Tomorrow....

Not going away. Done absolutely nothing today, but must do something tomorrow...

Yes cricket tomorrow...!

Programme on Ch 5 about hoarding. It looks as though it might be interesting. I did watch the Ch 4 "Hoarder Next Door" programmes last year - they were so sad some of them; these people were in real distress.It is a problem which seems to develop with age and is closely connected with depression. Once it starts it can be a vicious circle and needs several types of specialist help to deal with. And it is not as uncommon as you might think.

Interesting to hear about the way people have suffered loss and for whom the possessions give a sense of alleviating that loss. Or the way objects remain as "evidence" if you like of "what the person used to be" - this is particularly so for the older hoarders.

I am not at that stage yet but could see how easy it would be to fall in to it- especially if bouts of ill health or physical incapacity hit.

Certainly now while I am able, I know I need to recognize the difficulties I have with throwing stuff away and tackle it at a psychological level as well as at a simple, basic, practical level.

So good luck to all of you who are struggling with this too.

I saw that too cricket :( all very sad. I knew what the elderly lady would have been feeling about not calling a plumber in as I have been there myself. Didn't have any running water (except mains in the kitchen and the electric shower) for the last 3 summers. I've learn't how to get around the problem, but this year, I want it sorting. Definitely!!

Lazy, lazy week mumsnetting

Hi all. My name is FaceDirectionOfTravel and I have a few hoarding tendencies. The minimalist thread wasn't right for me as I can't be ruthless. .

Just wondering, has anyone ever hired a professional declutterer? Am considering using one but in a sort of longish term way,not to do one big purge but to help me purge a bit, get some better habits, purge a bit more, re establish habits that have slipped, etc. Like a sort of therapist/cleaner/organiser.

Hi Face welcome!

No, I certainly haven't done that. I just couldn't let anyone else help me at home; I am the only one that can do it ~ for me!
I also think that having done it (when I do), I might be very reluctant to let it go again, so I hope it will stay clear, clean and tidy at that point.

Hello, can I join in please? We have a house bursting with clutter and are hopefully moving in about 5 weeks so would be great to get rid of stuff. Unfortunately I find it difficult to chuck things away for a few reasons (sentimental, ethical, might come in useful etc etc) so it's a difficult process! And my DD takes after me and won't chuck anything, and even sneaks things back out of charity bags and the recycling. My poor old DS who is 18m loves order and tries to tidy up after us but doesn't have much luck. I will go back and read all the thread later, and hopefully feel inspired!

Welcome Ouroboros :)

I don't envy you at all! 5 weeks to sort everything out would send me mad, but good on you for getting going on it. Read and digest and then set your plan in action. I guess that you really have to follow some sort of plan in order to move house and not take it all with you.

I gave away a massive bag of beautiful bras yesterday. I was keeping them in case I could one day wear them again, but then decided that actually, I'll never be a 32C again, so why not get shot of them. So! another small bag of stuff (in the grand scheme of things) GONE!!!

I have a tip which might help you let go of stuff or maketit easier. I have created my first photo book book and I plan to photograph the kids art work and then ditch it apart from a few things. It us great as you still have a record of things but not the clutter . We are going to be moving to a smaller house so I have to downsize what I have kept.

Sounds as if people are making progress.

Well done Solo for the bras. Understand how hard that is as I have a bag of the same; beautiful, expensive... but don't fit.

I did use a declutterer once but only for one session. I found it helpful but I realized it would take a very long time and things in my life were a mess and I just couldn't face it. I thought it might be something that would work though.

That is a good idea homeaway but for me, I've been mostly quite good with my Dc's artwork and have got rid of a huge amount of it; just kept a few pieces. Having said that; Dd draws me at least 2 pieces a day! so it's difficult! especially if she see's them in the recycling bin! . I have to admit that I like to hold the special pieces and feel them.

Oh help, DH has just told me that someone is coming tofit a cupboard in our bedroom, next week.

Pants....so I have four boxes to sort through by weekend and so has he. This room HAS to be sorted before non-family enter it.

So kids toys, ironing and decorating are on hold and operation declutter our room begins. Fighting urge to clear all cupboards and rearrange room in order to organise existing stuff, I have to chuck stuff and lots of them.....wish me luck.

Oooh! Babies!! ouch!

I had to have the British Gas boiler man in in December and I did my best to make the hall, stairs and landing and the second bedroom look reasonable. He wanted to check all the radiators and I had to say no! I was mortified. He actually treated me with contempt. I just wanted to cry.

Good luck with sorting those bits out; it'll be a great chunk done for you if you can get it done! :)

Hello everyone

Broadband meltdown here but back online now.

Sounds like everyone is doing really really well.

Bit up and down here! The loft has been cleared. My sister finally sorted out all her crap. We literally binned everything and bagged up all the clothes as school had a textiles bag thingy on that week.

I was inspired by her bravery and I chucked out 99% of my old college artwork. I kept 2 things I know the DD's like and the rest went. It was actually really therapeutic as I didn't have the best time at art college.

I also took 2 boxes to the chazzer with old photo frames and bits and bobs.

Found masses of old photos too. DH binned all his without even looking at them!! Progress.. My sister found loads of her and ex bf and I found loads of my ex partner. Neither relationship ended well and we just got fits of giggles ripping them up and chucking them out.

My sister also took all my old wicker storage type boxes that used to be in the living room for her new flat plus a bathroom unit thing with drawers.

After that day I was really mentally and physically knackered.

Feeling better now though and ready to tackle some other stuff this week hopefully on Friday once I'm done with some work I have on this week which is dragging on a bit.

Tom that all sounds encouraging :).

I have been busy today, done more clothes sorting and almost completely dirty laundry free. Where does it come from?!
I stupidly messed about with my ancient gas cookers timer buttons today looking for a reason why my ignition has stopped working. Now the gas won't come through into the oven. I love my old cooker and really don't want to replace it; I've had it nearly 30 years.
I also ordered one of those really expensive new Dysons today. Do you think I'll get rid of my DC01? absolutely not! it will go into the shed in case I need it! . It was a gift from Mum and Dad when Ds was born 15.6 years ago. I can't let it go. The new one is a cylinder one, the old one is upright. I have nowhere to keep it really; the new one will be so much easier to put away.

More work tomorrow :)

Solo, sounds like you are doing well :)

I spent five hours today sorting out the kids room.

They now have one IKEA bag of stuff each, which I reckon they will want to keep.

One laundry bag of toys which I don't know what to do with yet.

Two crates, one laundry bag and five freestanding large items which need to be donated to charity or sold on EBay.

Cleaned everything using my new Dyson (thanks Mumsnet) and polished the mirror and window.

Tired but glad I got it done. Will go through don't know bag and IKEA bags with the children and see if they want to throw anything else :)

Five bin bags of rubbish and old broken or pieces missing toys and games and an old doll house in my car to. be tipped.

So now I have caught up with ALL the ironing, shortly to be finished with with the toys, therefore tomorrow I will start on our room....wish me luck.