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Housekeeping

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The Hoarders Anonymous Thread. Sorting It Out.

955 replies

Solo · 28/12/2013 17:54

There was a thread that I was involved in some time ago which was started by someone trying to understand why her Dh kept so much 'stuff' and couldn't throw anything away.

The thread quickly turned into a support thread for many MN hoarders and there was a large support network that evolved from that thread.

Eventually, the thread died and with it, certainly my 'support and encouragement mates' circle...

From other threads where lovely Mumsnetters have supported and given rl help, there have come other hoarders, untidy people and those who are just plain stuck in a rut admitting they have a problem. People like me that have become emotionally attached to stuff and it has taken over their homes and their lives. People that cannot cope after loss of different types (parent, relationship, job etc) and it just turns into one big nightmare ~ it certainly did for me following my relationship breakdown, my Dad dying and another nine people in my life passing away inside 11 months.
Personally, I feel that being unable to let anyone in through my front door means that no one can hurt me; I've pulled up the drawbridge, so no one can get to me and shoot me again.

I've always been a bit of a collector of things. I'm a make do and mend type and I can make something out of nothing. Trouble is that once I started to lose important things (people mainly) from my life, I felt unable to let anything made of something go...what if I could never get or have another?! that'd be terrible right?

So! that is a part of my story and here is a thread of support and encouragement (I hope) for others feeling overwhelmed by their hoarding, clutter and stuff. I am hoping that I can get my life sorted out and that there are others that will come along on the journey and perhaps also sort out their homes and lives.

I want to raise my drawbridge and invite friends in. Anyone else? :)

OP posts:
Solo · 04/10/2014 14:33

Hi Garlic :) I know you weren't trying to bring the thread down :) I just felt that maybe I had been a little pushy and in a way maybe I was, but knowing what ME is like, I really felt I'd overstepped; hence the apology.

I know how difficult sorting out is from my own experiences (and trust me! I am in a state), so in a way I do feel 'qualified' to try geeing everyone up along with me. It certainly feels nice to be able to actually see some spaces appearing in my home and I want everyone here to feel the same way and with Garlic, to get all the things you love into your new place and looking lovely! in a way, you are ahead of us/me as you have your empty home already. Have you taken a bag to start on? :) keep positive all!!

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Solo · 07/10/2014 23:19

Spent all day and most of the evening boxing up quite a bit of my ornamental things; candles, candle holders/plates/lantern type things etc. Also the VCR and DVD players.
Sorted through a box of things/paperwork/magazines etc. Threw loads out, tore out recipes instead of keeping the whole mags! did quite well I think!

Really upset about my bed order. They emailed to say that they made a mistake and offered the wrong bed on Woucher and sent a pic of the 'actual' bed they are offering. I don't want that one; it's not a patch on the one I want. I don't know if there's anything I can do to get around it.

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 08/10/2014 14:27

Wow that's really unfair of them! :(

Solo · 09/10/2014 00:29

I know! Angry. I cancelled the order.

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ChippingInLatteLover · 09/10/2014 01:12

Bastards :(

Do you want some help to find a similar one Solo?

figgieroll · 09/10/2014 09:02

Im almost out the other end but it's taken about two years in total

I've taken probably about 18 car loads to the skip, given 15 bin bags for jumble sales, given about 15 bin bags to charity shops, sold items locally in NCT sales, binned/recycled items and given some bags to various friends.

The less I have, the easier it is to keep my life in order and not feel overwhelmed. I've been ruthless. These days I try to sort things as they come into the house - so bin/recycle or take action. Not easy with 4 kids.

I've still got the garage and about 8 boxes to go through still. I just need to buy some storage first.

Solo · 10/10/2014 00:34

ChippingIn Thank you :). I have ordered the bed from a different company. Cost me almost double the price unfortunately, but it's the bed I wanted, so...

Figgieroll wow! good for you :) you are a great example to spur us on, thank you! Thanks.
I have promised myself to never ever let this happen again.

Today I have gone through a few things in Ds's room. Found a load of videos that I need to sort through and decide what to do with. Got a load of Thomas The Tank trains to sell. Hope I can get a bit for them. Threw away a load of crap.

Forgot to put the rubbish out today...

OP posts:
ChippingInLatteLover · 10/10/2014 01:57

Bugger about paying so much more!! What sort of bed did you choose?

What sort of videos are they? Commercial or home videos? If they're commercial bin them, no one else will want them.

Bugger about the rubbish. One of the few good things about living here is that the bins are communal and nowhere near the house :)

Solo · 10/10/2014 12:54

THIS ONE is the one I want.

THE ONE I DON'T WANT that they offered me instead.

The videos are commercial. I'm going to go through them and decide which ones Dd might like to watch and get shot of the others. Might Freecycle...or Christmas Bazaar is coming up.

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fuzzpig · 10/10/2014 14:36

I still use a VHS player :o there are some things you can't get on DVD.

don't suppose you have the cartoon version of charlottes web in there do you? :o

Solo · 11/10/2014 01:31

I don't fuzz sorry :(

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cikecaka · 11/10/2014 17:23

I have tidied my house from top to bottom, I have 4 black bags of washing! I can officially start decluttering tomorrow! Think I will start on our wardrobe

Solo · 11/10/2014 18:26

Shock Wow!! well done!

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ChippingInLatteLover · 11/10/2014 21:11

solo idiots, the only thing they have in common is the storage facility!

Have you got the bed sorted now solo?

Well done cike good luck with the declutter!

fuzz have you tried posting for it on freecycle?

Solo · 12/10/2014 02:53

I hope so ChippingIn I have ordered and paid for it (again!), but I have obviously had to delay delivery due to my rewire etc.
Yes, idiots is a good word! the inferior one is not even pretty in my humble opinion Hmm. I love my actual choice though. I am effectively losing a wardrobe and 4 divan drawers, so need the added storage the bed should give me.

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ChippingInLatteLover · 12/10/2014 08:35

Solo They are so completely different, if you like one, your bound not to like the other! I hope it works out this time!! It's funny though, I can't stand anything under the bed. I currently have a door under there that I'm waiting for the bloke to come back and put up (I can do lots of diy, but door hanging just frustrates me!) and the 'clutter' under there is unsettling me! I couldn't cope with a 'storage bed', no matter how much sense it makes!

cikecaka · 12/10/2014 15:07

Wardrobe cleared out, one black bag filled with clothes for charity shop! Yay! Tomorrow is the chest of drawers in my room!

fuzzpig · 12/10/2014 15:13

Oh you should see under our bed, it's awful Shock I'm actually scared to look under it!

Bizarrely DH actually slept on a door for about a year - when he had his prolapsed disc but before they agreed to operate not that I'm bitter about it or anything they suggested he sleep on something hard so we stuck the living room door - which we'd removed anyway so we could put a stairgate on it - and put it under the mattress!

Ah well never mind about the video solo it was worth a try :o free cycle eh that's worth thinking about thanks chipping :)

cike well done! I'm tackling laundry today.

ChippingInLatteLover · 12/10/2014 16:01

Well done cike Brew

fuzzy I couldn't cope with that!! I had to move stuff around in the loft the other day (for the electrician) and he's coming back this week so I've had to leave it 'moved about' - it's bothering me. I feel cluttered and I hate it.

Half of my extended family have had 'doors under the mattress' at one time or another for bad backs, it's such a 70's thing! (how is he now?)

fuzzpig · 12/10/2014 16:21

Better now thanks - they finally operated two years after the injury occurred! And then after the surgery, the doctor came to see him and said "sorry, it was much worse than we thought" - basically when the disc had shrunk back (he'd had an injection) it had taken the nerve with it and trapped it!

Anyway it's two years since the operation now and he's back to normal, even did a half marathon recently and got his best time ever, so all good thanks :)

After the operation we had to put an inflatable mattress under ours to make it higher - I was very glad to get a normal bed back after that :o

Solo · 13/10/2014 14:52

Not done anything again today. I have the flu.

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cikecaka · 13/10/2014 18:10

Poor you Solo! I have done nothing today apart from 3 loads of washing!

fuzzpig · 14/10/2014 12:56

Oh no solo :( that sucks. I live in fear of flu but also worried about the flu jab because I know fellow ME sufferers who've had relapses after it Confused

Anyway I hope you're better ASAP and can rest up for now.

I did about two binbags worth just now but am quitting while I'm ahead. Did shedloads of laundry yesterday so can't do more now.

Big breakthrough for me today. I was ruthless. Chucked some old cuddly toys of mine. I'd been so happy when mum found them in their attic but they've just been stuffed in random corners of our bedroom getting even filthier. The DCs haven't taken any interest in them, I haven't even cuddled them myself as they're so grubby and they wouldn't survive a wash.

And they don't make me happy. I kept looking at them thinking I should feel that happy nostalgia glow - the glow I get from showing DCs my favourite childhood cartoons for example, which makes me inexplicably joyful. But I realised... I didn't. I loved my cuddlies when I was little but now they just make me a bit sad. I can't quite put my finger on why.

Solo · 14/10/2014 14:39

Fuzz I won't have the jab as I don't trust it. I feel bad as I have made my Mum get it as she hadn't had her usual reminder through the post; though tbf, she does usually have it anyway.

You have been ruthless haven't you?! good for you though and hats off!! I couldn't do that I must admit. I have a few, but they are staying. They can join me in my coffin one day!! Grin

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 14/10/2014 16:45

Oh I do still have cuddlies believe me :o DH has got me some over the years that are very special.

Including a Flat Eric Blush