Remember, remember to Fly through November, but Fledglings will chatter a lot

[BlueEyeshadow]

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do someting more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings. Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Humungous thanks to SlimChance for leading us through October and such a copy-and-pasteable OP....

All welcome!!

I haven't gotten a whole lot done today. Feeling blah and tired. I did take a long hot bath to try to relax a bit as I'm feeling stressed up to the eyeballs. DS1's OT rang me (literally out of the blue) to see how he is doing. I told her "funny that as the paediatrician was just sending you a referral for him to come back to see you." So she's popping by the house next week to chat. God I love his OT, she is a wonderful person.

I suppose I should get something done before school run. Maybe.

I feel guilty at complaining about my sons...so far they are chugging along I suppose (it is only me cracking up)

We had a victory with ds2 this morning who was screaming about the computer. So far despite numerous warnings he never will stick to his ration of 10 mins before school (this is not everyday, just a common occurrence that he will ask to check the football results as a reward for getting dressed and shipshape) We didn't put it on after yesterday's screaming fit (when he refused to switch it off), and after 10 mins screeching he got ready for school without any further trouble, and walked happily to the tube with me, chatting. His rages seem very shortlived, that is one good thing, although to an outsider observer they seem like the most horrendous misbehaviour. He's usually not at all aggressive to us, so it is quite a worrying development when he bares his teeth, so to speak..Firmness seems to work as long as it is not accompanied with shouting.

Ds1 said to me this morning...oh, my WW1 model of trenches (homework given out 2 weeks ago)...will you do that for me mum? It's due on the 28th he has clearly given up all attempts at pretending to understand 3D It is ridiculous, I'm going to have to find Black adder clips/Downton clips/Journey's End clips just so he can imagine how a trench was constructed.

I wish the teacher would issue a fool's guide to model making for the older children to follow. One of ds1's friends is extremely arty/crafty, and a shy,gentle soul - ds really admires him for his ability to do anything creative and was telling me with wonderment that J had done his model in one day... So somewhere there are pupils who like doing the tasks set..

toffee hope ds1 is alright. This is hard work for him, going back, he is doing brilliantly to have got this far. Look after yourself...it is still early days to be expecting everything to be easy.

fingers crossed...I think the garden rubbish has nearly gone. (van is here)
And the car is mended (alternator replaced) and filled up at petrol station. Yay! SO cold waiting by side of road for nearly an hour that it has taken a lot of Mumsnet greenhouse researching? typing and cups of tea to recover once I got home again. New battery last year, new coils last year and new alternator this year..so cross fingers it won't go wrong for a few months. So relieved it popped its clogs so near home, even if not outside my door (that would have been more convenient certainly) and not on the morning run, and with kids in car.

So checking my telephone messages I see I have to take ds1's violin to be restrung before a rehearsal tomorrow. Typical, and although he brought it home and told me it needed a new string, he didn't say it was urgent..hmm.

Swanhilda We can't do computer time for DS1 before school. Ever. I did it once. Just once. And getting him off of it again was a nightmare. I now say "no computer time before school - it's not allowed." And he has finally stopped mentioning 25 June 2011 when he was allowed to go on the computer just before a school function (it wasn't even a SCHOOL day, it was a school fete over lunchtime) as his "proof" that it is allowed sometimes so therefore should be allowed every day. Memory like that and yet he can't remember to turn the light out when he leaves a room. I despair some days, I really do.

Alice - my DS is just the same, he remembers exact dates from trivial events over a year ago (and gets frustrated when I do not, and by most people's standards I have a good memory for stuff like that). Yet, he can't remember where he left something 5 mins earlier. Actually I'm a bit like that too . I allow a bit of Ipad in the morning but they have to put it off when I say and there is no proper computer, no telly.

We have telly, or I'd never get anything done. They're up at 5am, so there's 3 hours to kill before school run. No telly and I would go slowly mad.

Oh, I'd allow telly if they were up at 5, no doubt about that. DS gets up about 6.45 and gets very upset if he doesn't get 20 mins on his own downstairs without the rest of us, if I let him oversleep and miss this time he is very grumpy. DD on the other hand has to be dragged out of her lair at about 7.45.

Whoknows I love "the lair" My poor dd, she has to be up at 6.45 now and out of the house by 7.10, so all attempts at having a lair are no more...

done
restrung violin at shop
drove to B & Q in attempt to find screening plants for manky fence for Christmas - and found lots of nice bright winter evergreens to brighten garden for Inlaws who are coming over at beginning of Dec.
Also bought a set of drawers for fabric stuff now that dd is showing more interest.

There's nothing like a car breaking down to feel that driving is the height of luxury

Very cold now so enjoying my cup of tea and the warm house; just about to walk down to pick up ds2 from the tube. Today has been good so far

what's for dinner? prepared casserole from Sat and baked potatoes

Swan - thank you, DS1 has been a bit down since he fell ill and couldn't go out. Not surprisingly, he lost confidence. But today there was a turnaround because he managed to get to his tutor group for the first time and everybody welcomed him and made a fuss of him, so he came home with his eyes shining, looking all happy . He has now gone out skateboarding again, thanks to that boost to his confidence.

Ta da :

Made a start on sorting out the pile of clothes in our bedroom (DH has at least seven pairs of black tee shirts )
Did some work with DH
Listened to DS1's account of his day
Made lunch for DS1
School run to collect DS2
More work with DH
Checked emails and MN whilst enjoying a tea break

To do :

Ironing
Put clothes in tumbledryer
Make dinner
Look for warm clothes/gloves/hats/thermals (freezing out there)
Evening routine

Good to hear DS1 has had a confidence boost Toffee

Blardy mother in law!!!!! I flipping well forgot her pigging birthday!! I am never going to be forgiven, am I??? As if me marrying her most unfavourite son was not bad enough, now I have failed miserably ......again!!! I took her round a lovely orchid........took a deep breath and went into her house - first time in 12 years I have been over the doorstep! I apologised profusely......she said "well,......." in a very patronising, put down, make me feel as bad as you can, you are a pants person, sort of way!!! Then had a stilted conversation for 10 minutes before I said I had to go and collect DS from college (actually no college on Tuesday's but she will never know ) Now feeling bad. bloody woman I cant do anything right, so why should I bother!

PA - to be honest, by the sound of it your MIL would have found fault even if you had remembered her birthday. The orchid sounds lovely anyway. Don't feel bad.

DS1 enjoyed skateboarding and came back with flushed cheeks from all the exercise. Am a bit worried about him walking back home alone in the dark though. Those of you with teenagers: do you let them walk in the dark on their own? [novice-mother-of-a-teenager emoticon]. It gets dark around 4.30 now, so DS1 would never get any skateboarding time if he came home before dark. He says he always sticks to street-lit, main roads. DH picks him up in the car if he's home, but he can't always do that .

Have had two ironing sessions and put lots of clothes away. Feeling less stressed by it all now.

PA I love my German MIL (well I don't see her that often as she lives abroad, but she really is quite reasonable and lovely 85 year old) and I confess I have never given her either a Christmas or birthday present in the last 18 years as DH told me not to (she doesn't want any more possessions) a long time ago So really your MIL should be grateful Personally I think you've broken the ice and she'll invite you in next time Surely she likes to hear "news"? Which reminds me I've forgotten my own mother's birthday too . We always forget each other's birthdays, but we are not really a birthday sort of family I hasten to add...

Ds1 was watching a clip of Journey's End (the film of the play) and kept saying It's funny. Why is it funny? Isn't it meant to be about the Trenches? Then he got bored immediately...I despair of that child, he doesn't understand black humour at all satire, wry humour, irony, modern literature although he seems to think films like Shaun of the Dead the unfunniest film ever, are hilarious..

Toffee That's wonderful about the skateboarding. He must be good at it too - as I never hear of him having very many accidents Brilliant!

I let dd come home once on the tube at 8.00pm from school after a do. Dh did meet her at the station. But I felt very guilty about it, she did it without asking me because she thought there was no lift from a friend (although it turned out there was and everyone was looking for her). Never again late at night has she been allowed to walk home by herself, or even after 6pm I think I wouldn't encourage. But she walks home herself after school every day and that is 4.30pm or 5pm sometimes. London buses aren't so very genteel either. But she manages - I suppose there are always some school children around from her school.

Ds1 comes home by himself as late as 5.30pm on the bus, and walk afterwards. Ds2 has been home latest 4.45 by himself on the Tube and walk afterwards.

I don't think I would let ds1 walk back from anywhere even locally after 6pm in winter.

Lazy tea tonight. Beans on toast. But late afterschool due to club, and trying to fit tea and baths and some down time in, that means it needed to be something quick and easy.

I've got a meeting in town tomorrow, but hoping to get home quickly and get a fair bit done afterwards, around school runs. Fingers crossed. Will organise my list tonight and hope for the best.

Swanhilda I don't blame you regarding the walking home alone in the evening. I hate it when DD is doing that, and she's an adult! I think part of my problem is that I worked for the police for so many years and then I just hear all the bad stuff that happens, so I worry.

Hi everyone,
The flying is going well here, although I don't have a list of things to do. It's just good to know that every area in the house will eventually come around on that list. So I can just relax and let the junk pile up! Haha!
Does everyone follow the list or do you do your own thing?
I have spent the day packing and posting things, but did manage a swish and swipe, laundry and a bit of 'master' bedroom. I am guessing that is my bedroom, not sure about the master bit?
Think I will do baby steps. Is anyone else revisiting them?

Swan - DS1 has to be home by 6pm, so he leaves the skate park about 5.30 and walks back along the main roads. Usually DH picks him up, but there have been a few times when he hasn't been here to do that. I would feel happier if DS1 was in a crowd, but he's always on his own.

Good to hear that you worry too. Having had DS1 indoors for so long, I'm not quite sure what I should be allowing him to do. I don't want to hold him back, but I don't want to get it wrong either. It's a steep learning curve for all of us because it has happened so suddenly.

Alice - eek! Don't say things like that (hearing all the bad things that happen). We live in a fairly quiet town, but I am aware that DS1 is very young and vulnerable (looks about 12, although he's 14).

rowing - I do my own thing sometimes and at other times I follow Flylady. It's good to revisit her when the house gets out of order again.

Rowing - a bit of both here too, I don't tend to stick to zones very well, but keep quite a few baby steps going and declutter, declutter, declutter. We tend to refer to the master bedroom as the boudoir on here, I don't like the master bedroom phrase either.

I was thinking a bit more about the ongoing relentless decluttering, and I am finding that even though it does always creep back, once you've got past the initial stages you are dealing with newer clutter, which is somehow easier than old stuff. Piles of paper seem to be the main problem here, they just appear all over the house, in the form of drawings, comics, magazines, catalogues etc, not to mention the important stuff. I am seriously thinking about trying to scan all the important stuff on receipt and then binning it, but will need to make sure the computer is religiously and securely backed up.

Anyway, no sooner than we have the water fixed the heating seems to be on the blink. It comes on, then after an hour or so seems to go off again, you have to switch it off and on again at the timer, sometimes more than once. I have phoned the plumber. Hope this doesn't spell the end for our very old but so far very reliable boiler. At least we have the woodburner and there is an oil filled radiator if needed, also the hot water seems to be OK.

Toffee oh god, no I'm not saying anything is going to happen. I'm just saying it makes me worry more.

Good evening my lovelies!

Hope you are all OK.

Busy day - absolutely no Flying - but lots of work + grocery/errand shopping. And actually had a very rare and pleasant evening with dh which served to remind me how 'normal' couples interact ie we watched Masterchef together without him fiddling about on his phone/tablet thing or looking at work texts or e-mails, or rushing back to the office to check something/collect papers - we then actually spoke to one another for a solid 40 mins without interruptions . Miraculous! I know it sounds very mundane but things have been so pressured in the office of late that we haven't done anything remotely like this for months!

Will catch up with the thread in a bit... links first (if Flylady has sorted her technical issues that is).

*

OK, baby-step no 20, for Wed 20th Nov is an important one about doing a load of laundry a day. Nothing says "I love you" more than clean underwear ... apparently ... .

We are steadily making our way through Zone 4 this week: the master bedroom or the boudoir. Declutter in here for 15 mins daily!

Once decluttered, you can go on to detailed cleaning.

Wednesday's mission is is to sort shoes and chuck two pairs out while you are at it.

Wednesday is anti-procrastination day so try and do something horrid that you have been avoiding!

The habit of the month is menu planning.

The flight plan here which provides a summary of the above, updates itself daily.

Have a good one fledglings!

Actually, I've just realised it's gone 11.45pm here and I have a very early start and need my wits (if I have any left that is) about me tomorrow. Will catch up with everyone in the morning! G'night all!

Ta da.
S&S x3
School run
Cleaned bath
cleaned kitchen - 1hr
Sweep and steamed kitchen floor
d/w unloaded and loaded
Washed up
W/m
Sent dog to naughty corner for eating a pillow.
Tidy living
Tidy games room

Dry up
Shine sink
Bedroom
Clean out snake
Dinner
Hoover
For some reason the PC will not start up, so will need to
Sorted PC

Toffee. each to their own. I don't let my boys out after dark on their own! my eldest is 16yo. We live in a village, but there are lot of quiet areas which I think they can be vulnerable in.

Has your DS got a mobile? Could he text you as he is leaving!

I must find time to declutter!! I am rubbish at this! which is silly when all that is required is 15 minutes.

Alice - it's ok, I know you weren't. I'm not surprised that job made you worry more. (Spotted you on the ghostie thread, by the way ).

Angry - yes, DS1 does have a mobile and is good at texting me to let me know he's ok. Interesting to hear that you don't even let your 16-year old out on his own after dark. That makes me feel better about worrying about DS1.

I think I need to reiterate to DH that DS1 must be collected by car once it's dark. However, DS1 needs to understand that he should be home before dark if DH can't collect him, which he won't like.

Glad you had a companiable evening with your DH, SC. None of it sounds mundane at all. It's really important.

Angry - your dog ate a pillow?

WhoKnows - oh dear, sorry your water is now on the blink .

Off to bed now for a not-so-early night. Still some jobs left unfinished (dry washing in tumbledryer, a bit of washing up), but I've had enough of Flying for the day.

I was wondering how the fuck you managed to write over 30posts today but I see you diversified from the fat fairy priniciples and have been discussing things like sn and school travel arrangements.

for my 2pence worth
self harm does not initiate an immediate refferal to camhs it depends on age and method of self harm. It can take MONTHS for the referral to turn into an appointment. And even then they can be pretty useless. Assessment waiting lists can be huge it is years long in this area. Bloody ridiculous imo but that is the system with which we fight.

Ds in theory could walk to school on his own BUT the drivers are fucking insane and the number of times I have nearly been hit because they are randomly reversing up the road/excellerating to 40 in a 30 past the school etc it is best not as at least I have a chance to judge the traffic a bit better then ds.

Right nice early start, shit loads to do before school run as not ready for tomo at all but too tired to give a shit.
night!

I thought it was 'nothing says I love you like a clean toilet when your family are ill' or something like that . I remember appreciating this when I had morning sickness.

SC - I hear you on the normal evening! My DH has a job which would also be his hobby if he didn't get paid. It's like perma-work and the texts / emails constantly drive me mad.

I'm going for the shoe target today. Also behind with washing up (embarrassed). My LO has her first jabs today so need to get stuff done before them incase she is under the weather.

Morning all.

To do
Complaint letter to school
Clean out the snake tank
Ironing.

These have been on my to do list all week, but today I will do them!!!