Remember, remember to Fly through November, but Fledglings will chatter a lot

[BlueEyeshadow]

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do someting more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings. Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Humungous thanks to SlimChance for leading us through October and such a copy-and-pasteable OP....

All welcome!!

x-post pictures Welcome!

I bloody love you lot.

SC embarising as it might be, at least what she was looking for was fairly innocent. Good luck with the puberty talk/book. I hope DD went suitably red

PA did the second shower get rid of the starch?

Toffee I guess growing up in the town the celebrations don't seem that much of a big deal. Where as an outsider might be more aware of the risks. Good luck with teaching ds1 that he has to follow the instructions even if he doesn't like them. Ds finds that almost impossible and it drives me potty

SC glad you got it sorted and bon courage for chat with DD!

PA - at starch. Hope it washes out eventually!

Hi to Pictures.

WhoKnows - you can make chocolate cake with beetroot too - HFW had a recipe in the Grauniad a year or so back. Tasted good but needed darker choc to hide the pink!

swan can i pick your brain re family counselling? How did you get referred and have you found it has done anything to help?

Blue - thanks, but I've tried three different chocolate/beetroot cake recipes now and not liked any of them!

Toffee It's very difficult isn't when you are teenager and you see adults being grownup and relaxing with alcohol not to think it might not have the same effect on you (relaxing I mean)
We are not very good at going to parties with ds2
What a blow to find your friend is so ill, and so worrying to have to pick up the pieces too, while supporting her. Is there any possibility of respite care for her from SS if she cannot manage? GP obviously didn't pick up the signs

Just about got through today, but it is all fine!

done
recycling out for binmen
talked to ds2's teacher on phone
bolognese
dropped dd's books at school ( NickNacks okay that's the first time we've ever dropped anything round for her as her school is 45/I hour away) as she rang up in a panic, partly due to my bedroom rearranging, they weren't in the muddled pile on the desk where she had left them...
bought stuff for Operation Xmas Child shoeboxes for sons to give
bought some WOOL for baby blanket for SIL YAY! CRAFTING OPTIMISM
picked up ds1 from school so he can go to RAH after homework club and have supper in between
despatched ds1
nap in afternoon
long walk in pouring rain, bus journey etc etc
driving

no tidying at all what with the dropping off and picking up

Haha swan!

I messed up too :) ds2 has a sports club before school and he forgot to pack his school trousers and I didn't check he'd packed it. Fail! He had to wear pe bottoms with his shirt and tie (yr3 so clearly my fault not his ).

toffee sorry you're having a stressful few days with DS and your friend. :(

PA - thanks, I'll take all those goodies you've handed me . Nice hair, by the way .

SC - your DD's searches are hilarious! You will laugh about it one day.

Alice - hmm, doesn't look like you had a very restful day to me. Sorry you have a 'runner' too. It's that feeling of powerlessness that I hate and to think anything could happen to our children just because they were too pig-headed to listen to us.

Engels - your phrase 'a little party in our bed' made me laugh. I'm glad you are putting yourself first at the moment. Quite right.

Welcome, Pictures.

Swan - I do worry a bit about DS1 seeing us relaxing with wine most evenings. I hope that we are showing him that it is ok to enjoy a drink, but not ok to get drunk and slide down the stairs, but you're right that he must think it will be another thing that will relax him. We had a good chat about it when he came back from school today and he seems to have learnt a lesson from it. I think...

SS are just getting involved with my friend because of her situation and she is hoping for help with the son who has autism. I don't know how long it will all take to arrange though. In the meantime, she has to wait a week to get the results of her tests and we are all crossing our fingers that the consultant was wrong.

I like your 'crafting optimism', by the way, Swan .

NickNacks - it's probably quite a good thing that you were relaxed enough to let that happen. Now you can see the consequences - and they are not terrible, are they? DS1 has so far lost his dance kit (including brand new trainers ) and his new school diary. The school will charge us £14 for a new one if he doesn't find it. It is frustrating, but, honestly, the school have seen it all before.

Bitchy - yes, I think you're right that DS1 doesn't take the celebrations too seriously. It is proving very difficult to get through to him that yes, he can go out, but not at any time or to any place.

Bitchy sorry, I didn't answer your FT question. We were referred through CAHMS, or it could have been the GP (several friends of mine were referred through GP when things were sticky) but our route was CAHMS/School/GP. School did a CAF form with local team member (we had something called the SAFE team, but that was for our borough so acronymed accordingly). They helped anyone who ran into difficulties, not just ASD, any behavioural/financial/social issues affecting family life. All members of family tended to get roped in, that was main problem for us. I know people who have just used mother/child FT in same service though so it is possible.

I've found it didn't really help the son much (he found it deadly dull) but it was useful to get the parents to possibly agree on their parenting style or discuss ways to improve the way everyone related to each other. Not very proscriptive and quite encouraging, getting you to come to your own conclusions and find solutions. All the usual therapy cr**p in fact! By the end you will probably think you knew the solutions anyway..but bothering to talk about them does make it seem secondnature.

Bit of a nightmare really/can of worms. But still, no path left unturned and all that. There is no magic wand I found she didn't really know as much as me about how son ticked, but occasionally she would mention blindingly obvious stuff to help bad behaviour that I had unaccountably not bothered with .

It did of course help son, in the sense that we were better at helping him, I just mean it wasn't directly a therapeutic service for HIM; she wasn't a specialist in his needs, just in family dynamics.

Nicknacks I cannot get over the fact that your son is only in Year 3! He is a baby still! Of course they aren't going to punish him for wearing PE trousers!
I had to laugh at the fact that dd avoided one detention due to my hiking over to darkest Isleworth, but gained another for eating a croissant in the corridor first thing - the temerity!!! The Victorian foundress was French so I can see that was a liberty too far (not to say very bad manners

Ds2 has been very tiresome this evening between 8 and 9pm, refusing to read or listen to a book, trying to watch Anne Robinson on mortgages(anything better than having to amuse yourself ) Then I found some abandoned Playmobil under dd's bed (the glorious swimming pool set - I think dd has only played with it twice in her entire life before hoarding it) and he played happily with that, "as long as you watch me Mum". The first time he's played with an imaginative playset for a very long time, all he plays with usually is crashing or racing cars. So glad to see him occupied!

Ta Da
Morning routine including 2 minute Hotspot.
Dishwasher x2
Washing x3
tumble x3
Gardening
4 mile run/run dog
Cleared under sink, including bleaching u bend.
sort tupperware cupboard
sweeped and mopped kitchen, hallway and cloakroom floor
made dinner
removed Halloween Decs.
cleaned hob.
dealt with school paperwork
cleared emails
shopping
visited dump with garden waste
visited hardware store to get a Humane mousetrap, as had a visitor last night! Our big hard Staffie ran and hid! Wimp!!
Just had to wash, dry and repack 3 PE kits for tomorrow, as all 3 came home covered in mud from Rugby today.

Now sitting down with a well deserved and dairyfree Stollen!

Still need to find Trainers and reading book which have gone missing for ds4 who would lose his head if it wasn't attached.

Toffee, teenager years and the preteen are the hardest but they hopefully get easier. I would have happily adopted my 16 yo (or murdered) when he was 14 but he has turn out great now. In fact he hoovered and dusted the whole house today!

PA Sorry but the hair thing did make me laugh.

Waves hello to everyone else. I am enjoying this thread, as it nice to see that we all have so much going on in our lives, and try to find the balance of everything!

swan ds2 is year 3 but ds1, who I'm stressed about is year 5.

And just re read your post at the croissant in the corridor!

I did have a ta-da! list at one point, but I've forgotten it all. Been wrestling with the printer this evening, or with the computer running sloooooooow as treacle. Not sure which.

Anyway... lets see if I can manage a round-up for the first time this month.

Ellie has been having heavy meetings and relaxing with fireworks and friends.

Alice is supposed to be resting – [stern] – and has been administering antibiotics. Would definitely accept teacher’s offer!

Lauren was having a day out at Butterfly World – rather you than me (can’t abide fluttery things ).

dizzy has been making pillowcases and handing out cake.

Toffee has been supporting friends, nursing DS2 and talking to DS1 about beer and boundaries.

PA has been entertaining us with an innovative approach to hair styling.

Going was in the naughty corner with cat, meds and film.

SC fortunately has her computer fixed and a very embarrassed DD. Hope the talk went well.

Welcome (back?) to Pictures - sounds like a good start.

Engels is trying to put herself first. Sounds like you need to right now. ((hugs))

Bitchy and Swan discussed family counselling, while WhoKnows didn’t fancy beetroot cake. :)

Swan has been running round dropping things off and picking people up, and has crafting optimism.

NickNacks had a uniform mishap and grinned at croissants in corridors.

Angrybuddha wins the Golden Duster award for a top flying list.

**
So, linkies...
Thursday is errand day.
Babystep 7 is another key one - picking out your clothes the night before.
The mission is to clean out your pantry, should you have such a thing, or a kitchen cupboard for the rest of us
**

Crash landing!
Will pop in later to catch up with everyone! Just checking in for November !
Have decluttered for three days in a row! I think this might just be the month I get my mojo back!

Thanks swan it is a family dynamics and a balancing off all needs that is part of the issue atm. So it might be something I can ask as a way forward. Need to speak to the family support worker tomo I think.

Tbh not done much flying, if any flying today. Probably won't do much tomo either. And the weekend is not looking good either. Otoh I promise to keep the naughty corner bar stock whilst i continue to hide in my sofa den

Not done a huge amount tonight.

Emptied the dishwasher & put it in a cleaning cycle. I did do quite a mound if ironing

Dd & dh were late in tonight due to a school trip & they are both stopping out tomorrow so I had to get two days worth if stuff ready for dd which meant washing leotards by hand & putting a load if school uniform through the washer.

Overnight bag packed & all her schoolbooks for two days (I know I said she was trying to get into a routine herself but she didn't get in til past 9pm & pretty much rolled straight into bed.

I'm just waiting for the tumble dryer to finish so I can pop her leotards in & iron her uniform.

My sink is cleanish but I didn't shine it.

SC - My DS crashed my laptop by giving it a virus looking at porn websites which was even more embarassing (for me) when I took it to be fixed!

PA - I may borrow your new hair treatment in an effort to fix my frizzy mop in one place

Ta Da:

• Collected reserved order at Argos
• Bought food for the week and put away
• Washed out fridge salad drawer
• Cleaned and tidied under 2 sinks and in 2 kitchen cupboards - forgot the surfaces and tupperware so will do tomorrow
• 10mins ironing
• DD to swimming club
• Made tea
• Listened to DD read - its a David Walliams and pretty good!
• 10 more minutes ironing
• Washed pots and loaded dishwasher

Not too much flying but better than nothing! Night night x

Sympathies to those of you, SC & Toffee especially, coping with mini teens!! It seems so weird now for me to be here rolling my eyes and giving a sigh and thinking "been there, done that, got the t-shirt, somehow survived so far " It is a mine field, I tell you!! Just stay sane!! -and an overflowing sense of humour also helps!

Hair normality has returned! 3 washes yesterday and 1 this morning.....I think has done the trick. No, it does not tame frizz.......it makes it worse! No, it does not keep the style in place.........it makes it become "what style?" Spray starch is now stored next to the iron far away from my hairspray!

A day of meetings and preparing for visitors for a meal tonight. I don't like to call it a dinner party, cos we are all relaxed and I just cook us all a meal. - not a dress up posh affair!!!! I need to shop for ingredients after a morning of meetings, then have an afternoon of cooking planned - DS has said he will help, so it should be a good one!!

Have a good day everyone.

I like the phrase 'beer and boundaries', Blue. I will remember that one in the coming years...

Glad the barnet is back to normal, PA .

dizzy - we have had porn-website issues with DS1 too . We had a safety filter, but he knew how to get round it.

DS1 has spent the night in the bathroom, being sick . DS2 has a raging temperature. It's going to be a fun day today .

Toffee hope your DCs are feeling better soon.

PA glad to hear the hair is no longer starchy . To be honest, I've never used spray starch - for my hair OR the ironing. Mainly due to ironing avoidance - it's steam or nothing in this house.

dizzy ooooh did they actually say that's why it crashed? I'd probably just crawl under the counter with embarrassment. But at least it's fixed right? I'd be thinking "okay need to look up another place to fix computer from now on - can never go there again."

Bitchy good to know you're keeping the bar stocked. I think I'm going to need it!!

I didn't get much done last night, what with DS1's swimming lessons (last ones now for awhile yay!!) and DS2 fell and reopened the nasty cut on his forehead (the one that had to be glued shut at A&E last week). Lots of blood, lots of crying, glasses scraped up. So I managed to get the bleeding stopped and bandaged it up again (very classy look for school today with huge bandage on forehead). Now I need to contact the eye doctor and get new lenses for his glasses as I can't imagine they can repair them - covered in scratches.

ta da
usual morning routine, school runs
checked gas and electric meters
washing up
load of laundry in washer
stripped the boys' beds
moved fire grate out of fireplace for when chimney sweep gets here this morning (god, that was heavy!!!)

to do
contact eye doctor
remake boys beds
vacuum living room after chimney sweep leaves
tidy up dining room
put a couple pictures in frames and hang up
clean out craft drawer (which I still haven't done! no more messing about, this needs to be done so I can start making Christmas cards)

I was going to go to Aldi's as their heat logs go on sale today, but I will chance it and go tomorrow morning, after my meeting at DS1's school. I have to go right up by Aldi's tomorrow anyway and that's less petrol used then.

Must have missed the spray starch in hair post - sounds interesting.

Dds hair is full of hair gel all the time. I worry about what it does to it but at least hairspray is banned in school.

Early start for me. Had to wash & dry dds blazer & jumper overnight & got up early to iron/make sure she's got her overnight bag sorted.

Am at work now & tonight us taking ds to taekwondo night so not sure when I will get to do my routines but I plan to prioritise making sure sink us clean, 2 mins hit spot & getting mine. & ds clothes ready for tomorrow.

done
three kids at school
dropped off ds2 early
nap because I was desperate!
vat of pomegranate flavoured lamb stew
ordinary English lamb & potato soup
washes x 2
wiped down kitchen worktops

and now the torture of applying for parking visitor vouchers through the council website. No more face to face issue

toffee hope you are managing today with two ill children

alice hope cut is alright

soo, better find out what my parking permit no is Car is parked way down the street...

Everything going well today. Good mixture of fun and work!

Ta da
morning routine including the 2 minute hotspot (1st)
5 packed lunches
had coffee with the girls this morning
Run with Dh and dog this afternoon.
Cleared two cupboards (not fortunate enough to have a pantry). Had to do this already because of as the mouse in the house!
Threw out a bin bag of stuff I don't use!
Caught a mouse, drove 3 miles to set it free.
Blocked up hole, it came in through.
15 minutes de-clutter Bedroom
2x washes
2x tumble
Put away all laundry!! Hooray!!
5x HW sorted, 1 child wasn't even mine!!

To do
Dinner and clearing up
Children bedtime routine
Dry and iron 12 school shirts
And sort 3rd floor landing (the place I hide everything). 15 minute timer!!
Write appeal letter to railway.
Sell 2 tops on internet.
Bath

Bugger!! Just remembered cake school for ds5 tomorrow!!

Make and decorate cakes with ds5. Better pull my finger out!