Oh Shit, I'm just fucking lazy, and I think it's going to be a problem...

[nickelbabe]

My shop's closing in 2 weeks' time.
this isn't such a problem (in terms of housekeeping), because I know that all I have to do is chuck what I don't need, store what I do need and clean and tidy the place.
I have no problem with blitzing.

The next problem is going to be now I'll be a SAHM.
Our house is a tip, and that's really not an exaggeration. For the past 2 years, we've basically just done the essentials (and I really do mean the essentials - washing post/clothes, hoovering, tidying the part we're going to hoover, clean the bathroom, not even keeping the kitchen clean, but wiping the surfaces and hoovering the floor)

I've just realised this week that I'm really just lazy, because DH has gone away for a week, 3 days in and the house really looks like all my stuff has exploded everywhere. DD and I are out during the day, at work, and when we get home, she empties everything out, moves stuff around and then cries because she's tired. So I feed her and she sleeps on me.
there might be some trying to make dinner involved.
I've been trying to sew, so I've been doing that when she's not all over me, but she manages to make all my sewing stuff spread everywhere (well, I have to move out all out of the way, then she spreads it around and then needs attention)

So, I think it's because I'm lazy, not because I can't do it.
If I weren't lazy, the shop wouldn't be in such a mess, would it?

I think I need tips on how to look after toddler and keep on top of the tidying.
when DH is home, we work together, and he picks up the stuff that I can't do because DD is feeding.

DH starts work at 5/6 o'clock (it's different every day, but never later than 6), and comes home knackered at 3/4. up till now, he's been making the food etc and taking DD off my hands when he comes in (to the shop), so, in theory he can carry on with this when he gets home.
except he hasn't properly practised the organ (he's the church organist) since DD was born, and it's really suffering for it, so we were hoping he'd get more time to do that.

please? thanks :)

what were you like at housework/being organised bwfore you had dd?

if you are not an organised/motivated person naturally then it is harder.

make a list of what needs to be done. do it in chunks.

fly lady is meant to be good.

i am.generally motivated ans keep.on top of stuff but it is bloody relentless.

sling helps and doing stuff wjilst they sleep and just tidying up as you go along. my dd is two and potters around 'helping' me...

Come and join the fuckers on the unfuck thread
We're all pretty shit to be honest

How old is dd?

Can you do a room by room blitz of the house? And then, once it's done, do the fifteen minute thing?

Fifteen minutes of mad tidying, say, the living room and you'd be surprised what you can get done!

I have to be super disciplined. Tidy the bedroom before I leave it in the morning. Make the beds, take the glasses out, tidy the clothes, sort the washing out etc etc.

Then I wash up and dry up immediately after breakfast/lunch. I throw a load of washing in the machine.

I tidy up toys and stuff a couple of times a day to try and keep in top of it. Then I will do a couple of more serious, deep down jobs when the baby is sleeping. But not everyday.

you have ONE Kid and you cant keep a house clean?

Not sure that's helpful Betsy

Ah, it's always hard to do something you aren't used to, don't be hard on yourself (or listen to tosspots) Your DD is coming up to 2 iirc?

That will help a bit because you can start to leave her by herself for short periods. So if you can start by sorting out somewhere safe for her to play, with minimal stuff to make extra mess with, that will give you time to do more. For example, if she normally pulls all the books off the bookshelves, put open boxes of her toys in front of them. That should keep her busy until you get back, and even if she chucks the toys all over the floor you can play the tidying up game when you get back.

I have no helpful advice about sewing when she is awake - I have given up on that kind of thing! Unless you'd be okay with a room divider, so she can play on one side and you can sew on the other.

Employ someone?

I know someone, a professional, bright, educated mum, and her house is a tip. Nothing has been sorted since about 1994 I wouldnt have thought. But she does have a lot of money coming in. So she does have funds available for someone to help her sort it out if she wanted too. Is that an option for you?

I dont think you are lazy. Just someone who hates housework. Not the same thing imo.

op you are me and i am you!

i have the exact same problem and I honestly don't see a way out of it.

i simply HATE doing housework and I will procrastinate and do pretty much anything else to avoid doing it.
the weird thing is i really dislike living in such a messy house.I would love to be able to keep it clean and tidy.... i just... can't!

we tried having a cleaner, which was fine inasmuch as it got cleaned once a week, but it also meant that I got mega stressed trying to make everyone help me tidy the night before she came!!

I am kind of the same, I've been a Sahm for 7 years and recently I've had a revelation - decluttering is the key! I mean really, really, really declutter And have lots of storage - seriously this is so so important! I can't tell you how much easier it has made my life. I try and keep downstairs to a standard that I wouldn't be mortified if someone pops in iyswim?

beawheesht, you are right.
i am a terrible hoarder, which doesn't make it any easier. plus 5 of us in a small 3 bed house...
so many things that don't have homes

5madthings I'm pretty sure i've always been crap, but had more time to blitz

Betsy - and currently work 8 hours a day 6 days a week
that's why it's a mess. dh is never home because he comdcomes to the shop to make my dinner and lookafter dd while I'm serving

can't afford a cleaner.

I do hoard, but so does dh. it's hard to work out whatcan be chucked, especially paperwork. which is going to get worse because all the shop stuff will come home.

Little and often with decluttering is key- and swiftly removing it so it's not adding to the clutter. Yes to some good storage that would work for you and keeping items together where they get most use.

I am a very lazy/untidy person but slowly (after 7yrs of SAHM) I am gradually getting things under control. I always sort the kitchen, clean the table and try to tidy up the toys every night. It makes a huge difference when you get up in the morning.

It is a complete shift in the way of thinking, I was brought up in a messy house and it's rubbed off on me, so it has taken years to get to a better place.

Dont go into it headlong, it will cause burn out. Little and often

I hate housework but not quite as much as I hate mess. downstairs mine went in the travel cot with some toys and a packet of chocolate buttons while I tidied and pottered; I could also get a bit done during teletubbies. Upstairs they went in the cot with a story tape. Big jobs got done when they were asleep.

You need to unfuck your habitat. Google it. It's like fly lady with nails.

And your husband needs to do his share. Unfucking the habitat is a gender neutral task.

good strorage yes.

I'm wprried that I'll get stressed and it'll impact on dd.
it's bad enough feeling a complete failure because of tbe shop, without suddenly being thown into a role I know nothing about!

Don't get stressed, spend 20 minutes doing one task, then stop for 10, one or two per day will help sort things out without everything becoming overwhelming.

no worries there Chub! thdthe house would be a lot cleaner if he weren't always looking after me at the shop! in fact, he always blitzes what hecan on his day off (ehich is the stuff that I mentioned jn the op, and he cooks everything too)

It's not about blitzing. Little and often.

Don't forget its harder tackling it then keeping on top of it.
Once your shops sorted take a deep breath, put the seats down in your car for dump runs / get a skip and be truly ruthless.
It will get better xx

Seriously - don't stress about it or set it up into a big thing that you succeed or fail at. If it's all in a state now and you have a toddler to wrangle plus business to wrap up it will take a while to get sorted, and that's fine.

I don't use it, but I really liked a piece I saw on unfuck your habit about not being overwhelmed or feelibg guilty about not getting much done. Even if you only do a few things each day that is vastly better than doing nothing and it does make a difference.

Hopefully you and your DH will both be home more to handle this together, as well. It's definitely not all your job, but something to be shared and sorted together.

Yep, it's the old problem of making the perfect the enemy of the good. Do whst you can, it's better than nothing.

Deep breath.

You can do this but it needs a shift in mindset. I'm a mum of 2 (one just 3 and the only a few months old), I have a full time research degree, I don't have full time childcare, I'm currently on ML but return in January when my house will enter a whole new level of chaos. I have to cook absolutely everything as DD1 has allergies and both DH and DD1 have skin issues so bedding and clothes need to be washed very regularly. Add into that a house renovation. But since DD1 was about a year old my house is usually OK for MIL to unexpectedly drop in anytime.

You need mantras, my favourites are;

-Don't put it down, put it away
-Never leave a room empty handed
-Everything has its place

So you need storage and a rota, blitzing just doesn't work, get rid of clutter, honestly. I'm working towards this, we have one area of our house where we have boxes from our house move and I am slowly tackling them, every other room however is junk free. When I have emptied the boxes we can finish that room and paint it.

The things which really help maintain order are

1. staying on top of the washing, I do a load of washing every single day but alternate white and dark washes. Every day the aired clothes are put away, the dry clothes are taken off the airer and put in the airing cupboard and the wet clothes are put out on the airer.

1. deciding on what is for dinner and eating at 6, that gives the whole evening to play catchup with the housework, oh and the kitchen has to be clean before DH goes to bed

1. very loosely following Flylady's fifteen minutes a day, I know that the bathrooms need a wipe over and bleach every day (DH's task) and a deep clean every fortnight, I know that we need to hoover every week but the kitchen and playroom every other day (we don;t have pets) and I have a list book of all the jobs which need doing weekly so I can just tick them off.

Every evening DD1 and DH tidy up the playroom while I put DD2 to bed. Its bloody hard work keeping the house in order but as a great MNer once said the reason she is organised is because she is lazy, and 30min in the evening when I don't have small hands grabbing at me I can get more done than in two hours during the day.

Little and often. Set a timer. Have a cup of tea. Get your DD to join in, mine loves matching socks. Clean the bathroom while she is in the bath. Get a good sling and put her on your back.