Oh Shit, I'm just fucking lazy, and I think it's going to be a problem...

[nickelbabe]

My shop's closing in 2 weeks' time.
this isn't such a problem (in terms of housekeeping), because I know that all I have to do is chuck what I don't need, store what I do need and clean and tidy the place.
I have no problem with blitzing.

The next problem is going to be now I'll be a SAHM.
Our house is a tip, and that's really not an exaggeration. For the past 2 years, we've basically just done the essentials (and I really do mean the essentials - washing post/clothes, hoovering, tidying the part we're going to hoover, clean the bathroom, not even keeping the kitchen clean, but wiping the surfaces and hoovering the floor)

I've just realised this week that I'm really just lazy, because DH has gone away for a week, 3 days in and the house really looks like all my stuff has exploded everywhere. DD and I are out during the day, at work, and when we get home, she empties everything out, moves stuff around and then cries because she's tired. So I feed her and she sleeps on me.
there might be some trying to make dinner involved.
I've been trying to sew, so I've been doing that when she's not all over me, but she manages to make all my sewing stuff spread everywhere (well, I have to move out all out of the way, then she spreads it around and then needs attention)

So, I think it's because I'm lazy, not because I can't do it.
If I weren't lazy, the shop wouldn't be in such a mess, would it?

I think I need tips on how to look after toddler and keep on top of the tidying.
when DH is home, we work together, and he picks up the stuff that I can't do because DD is feeding.

DH starts work at 5/6 o'clock (it's different every day, but never later than 6), and comes home knackered at 3/4. up till now, he's been making the food etc and taking DD off my hands when he comes in (to the shop), so, in theory he can carry on with this when he gets home.
except he hasn't properly practised the organ (he's the church organist) since DD was born, and it's really suffering for it, so we were hoping he'd get more time to do that.

please? thanks :)

I have a 19 month old at home all day and a 4 year old in school part time, it is do-able if you break it up.

1. Chuck away unnecessary clutter and get rid of any toys your dd no longer uses (storage, Ebay or charity shop).

2. On a weekend when your DH is home get him to take dd out for the day and blitz the house room by room (or rope in help and blitz together). Once you have got it to a basically clean and tidy state it is easier to keep it that way.

3. Get out of the house for the morning or afternoon everyday. When you aren't there, mess cannot be made. Tiring them out in the morning can mean a better nap in the middle of the day if you are lucky, then you can get more done.

4. Have a weekly cleaning plan so Mon is dd's bedroom, Tues bathroom/toilet, Wednesday hallways and landings etc... Divide the cleaning chores, just because you are a SAHM, it doesn't mean all cleaning falls to you.

5). Kitchen gets cleaned as you go along, wash up after dinner so you start on a clean kitchen in the morning.

6. Hoover main living space every other day, small kids shed detritus and just hoovering the carpet can make a big difference to how it looks.

7. Stick on laundry when you have a load and fold straight from the dryer (if you have one) to save on ironing. A load of washing can run while you are out or doing other stuff.

8. Keep daytime meals simple to save on washing up.

9. Rotate toys and store the rest so that dd doesn't get bored and toys do not get everywhere. Get her to help tidy up in 10 minute blitzes periodically, if she finishes playing with something try to encourage her to pack it up before getting something else out.

10. Use a playpen or toddler proof dd's room with a baby gate on it so that there is a safe place she can play while you clean.

11. Use strategic television to get things done.

12. clean in bursts in between tending to toddler demands, so when cleaning bathroom, clean the sink then come back and do the bath etc...

13. Mop and sweep floors in one go around house when dd is in bed once a week.

14. Don't sweat it if you have a bad day and nothing gets done. As a SAHM your priority is caring for dd, if she is ill, teething or being exceptionally clingy just let the cleaning go for that day/period of time and stick to the basics of making sure you and her are fed and watered. Let DH take up the slack on those days and support you.

It always looks worse than it is when you haven't started. If you just make a start the list of things you have to do will get less. If you leave it the list can only get longer.

You will be fine, instead of trying to clean, manage a toddler and work full days, 6 days a week you will have 7 days a week to spread out household chores and do things with dd1.

thank you everyone, it feels more manageable already.

I think it worries me because when we get home in the evening, it's all such a rush to do anything, and it's while DH has been away that I've realised that there's just too much to do.

DD has started to stay asleep when I out her on the settee at home for a nap, so I'll try to make the most of that time when it's during the day.

DH's day off is different days each week, so that will be quite useful so one of us can take her out to somewhere while the other one cleans.

I like the mantras idea - DH doesn't understand speed, so it can be hard to get lots done, but the "don't leave a room empty-handed" might help him to get into that mindset

I am lazy and my house is a shit hole, but I am trying.

I half heartedly do Flylady and get the Lite email which gives little tasks. None take longer than 15 mins to do. So, my house is still a shit hole but not as bad a shit hole as it would be.

You have been given lots of good advice , things will get better . Do you have anybody who can come and take dd out for a while so that both you and dh can have a blitz ? Or ask a really nice friend if she we would come and help you blitz an area ? If not just choose a room that really is annoying you and start there, you have to be ruthless and only keep what you really want. Break a big task into smaller more mangeable tasks and don't set yourself unrealistic targets.
My dd are all away at uni and I am trying to have a clear out, but it is endless. We seem to have filled every nook and cranny; the scary thing is that I have been throwing stuff /sorting out over the years but it still managed to pile up.
So sorry about the shop.

homeaway - i think it's going to need more than a blitz.
it's the sheer volume of stuff that's been ignored that's more of an issue than the mess/cleaning, I think.

we'll get on top of it, with a bit of time to spend on it :)

and thank you :)

Unfuck my habitat thread

Come and join us in swearing creatively at the stupid fucking mess and then kicking each other's arses into gear to get the fuck on with it.

I'm sorry to hear about your shop nicklebabe .

Laziness is a good thing when it comes to keeping a house organised.

Being lazy makes you find the most efficient ways to do things and the easiest ways to keep on top of them.

Trust me, everyone I know always comments on how immaculate my house is they presume I obsessively clean and tidy all day. Do I bollocks! I'm lazy as it gets but I hate mess so I put in some serious work in the beginning in order to make it as easy as possible to keep on top of and now it's a doddle.

Get rid of all your stuff. Honestly. It's the single best way to make your life easier. Get rid of absolutely everything that isn't essential or seriously sentimental.

The more space you have for your things the easier they are to keep tidy. Think about it. How much more likely are you to put something away in and a half empty cupboard than in one that is so stuffed you'll need to rearrange everything that's in there in order to fit the new thing in?

Putting washing away into half empty drawers/wardrobes is far easier than stuffing things into full ones.

Get some mahoosive baskets for your DDs toys that way you just throw everything in there when she goes to bed. That's what I do. My DS is just 2 yet I can get my whole downstairs from maximum mess to perfect in the time it takes to watch Tales of Friendship. (I'm sure baskets are terribly un fashionable but I give not one shit)

Just put some serious work in now and once things are organised you'll be lazing around in a show home before you know it. Channel that laziness, it's your secret weapon

What Randall said. Most untidy people are just surrounded by excess stuff.

nicklebabe - sorry about your shop :( I asked about it on a thread a while ago as someone said they though you'd closed it down... but obviously you hadn't then. Don't feel you 'failed' though - the economy is still dire, big shops get big discounts and kindles have been a bit of a curse to print. It is sad, that's for sure - but it's not a failure x

thanks Randall.
most of the shop will be coming home. if I could get rid of it, then I wouldn't be closing!

thank yku chipping too :)

Have you thought about opening an Ebay shop nickel?

I hate doing it

I use a gripper thing and a laundry basket, and I go into a room, and fill the basket with all the crap…mugs, dirty clothes, rubbish, pens etc and then i put it outside the door a sec while i whizz round the room tidying what should be in there, and go over some of it with a wet wipe. then take the basket downstairs and sort it. I can't handle it when all that crap is in the room, I don't know where to put it, but if its in a basket in a different room it seems easier.

Ive also learnt to do it when I feel inspired and not when I think I ought to be doing it. If I get on a roll, I go with it until I loose interest

Also, empty drawers and cupboards completely into a box and take it somewhere else to sort it, rather than trying to tidy a drawer, it drives me fekkin mad doing that

I learnt to clean the loo by spraying it with the stuff, and then wiping it down with some loo roll, so you can just flush it away. then i pour bleach down it and leave it overnight.

I find that keeping the sink sparkling, and the kitchen table completely empty makes the house seem tidy.

Its just impossible keeping on top of it innit.

Another - i've listed on ebay before - when you're a business, they take listing fees in advance (for buy it now), and i've not always sold the item. One month I paid nearly £4 in listing fees and sold nothing :(

Last night was good.
I didn't get any costumes done (well, i very nearly finished grading a pattern for the other sizes), but she slept for a couple of hours, so I did washing, something else something else, washed some pots and made dinner.
I felt very pleased with myself.:)

:( Nickel that is crap, such a shame that people don't read real books as much these days.

Glad to hear you managed to get more done, it gets easier once you get into a rhythm.

Some of my most cherished memories are of reading with my kids at bedtime. It is not just the simple act of reading ,it is so much more, it teaches kids to be imaginitive , creative and gives them a skill for life.... For me I dont think that technology can take the place of a book but I know that lots of people disagree. I would have been so happy to have your shop around the corner Nickle when my kids were little.

thank you homeaway :)

Don't stress - your 'essentials' sound more or less all that I do (and I am a SAHM with a school age child ) - don't get taken in by some of the threads on Mumsnet where people seem to spend hours every day on housework with detailed boring schedules of what they do and how long it takes. So long as the toilet is clean and you have something (reasonably) clean to wear, what else really matters ? .

Take time to enjoy the next stage in your life, sorry about your bookshop, I remember following your posts when you were starting it all up .

Would she not nap in bed? Then you could have an hour at least.

I let ds1 (2.9) play with my jewellery while I clean the upstairs, he helps me dust and sweep. Downstairs he helps me wash up by washing his toys next to me in the bowl and he helps with the washing machine and tumbler. When he's asleep I do bathrooms and changing bed sheets.

I disagree that only loos matter, dust matters a lot, I hate the thought of him breathing in dust, and the baby crawling on mucky floors and putting dirty things in his mouth. I am not the cleanest by any means but I do think when you have little ones you just have to do it. And I work full time to,po, so I do understand what it's like to come home knackered. Just make it into a game if you can.

nap in bed?

no, she won't.

however, earlier I had a customer when DD was asleep on me, and I had to get something for them, so I popped DD on the rug, and she stayed asleep.
so, provided she is actually asleep, I can put her down and she'll stay asleep for a while :)

We don't worry about dust- I have never worried about dust and I don't have a problem breathing. In fact, we never dust, and DH who has a dustmite allergy doesn't suffer from it, so it can't be a problem...
(my theory is that dust that isn't moved is less dangerous than dust that is moved. )