Moving Forward With Minimalism

[MinimalistMommi]

This is a new thread following on from the previous 'm' thread on Good Housekeeping!

All Minimalists or aspiring minimalists welcome!

Although we have still achieved an awful lot considering, so I can't be too sad really.

delasi/downfall, I have been clearing out my shoes quite vigorously but I still have probably 50 pairs of shoes and boots...

We have just returned from a trip to visit both sets of parents - my MIL is looking to sell the family home as FIL passed away 7 years ago and she is finding it hard to manage the house on her own now that my husband and his siblings have all left home and moved away.
The problem is, she is a hoarder on the lines of those TV shows, and utterly refuses to throw anything away. She has filled all 6 bedrooms and 3 reception rooms with stuff, in 2 or 3 rooms the stuff is piled to the ceiling.
So, she started pointing out a few things that were "ours"... these were 50% things which we thought had been cleared out years ago but which she had scavenged from chazza piles/refused to let the men take when they came to collect.
She was claiming that she "couldn't clear out" because all her kids kept leaving things in the house, so we filled the car with all the odds and ends which were ours and took it to a recycling unit and the better stuff to a charity shop. The pieces of furniture she decided were "ours" we gently but firmly explained we didn't want and could not afford to ship to UK (she does not live in UK) and that we would arrange for house clearance people to come and take them away, since they were "ours" and they were stressing her out.
She sulked all week and is still not really speaking to me!

We were genuinely trying to help by removing part of the hoard which is preventing her from moving - the house is on the market but what viewer is going to make an offer on an indoor land fill site??

I no longer believe she will be able to move as the extent of her problem was not clear before - she literally has old bottles of dog medicine which she won't throw out. (The dog is long gone...)

It took a few stages - first clearout, second, third... over 2 years! - in order to part with all of them. But I had to be very honest with myself because in the end I was hardly wearing them. I injured my foot a few years ago, nothing serious but for a while I couldn't wear heels. When I could wear them again I realised how much I prefer very comfortable shoes. Then I realised I was always opting for the same two colours for any outfit! (I had many different coloured shoes). So I decided to get really tough and stick with those two colours (black and tan, btw), one pair of each across flats, heels and boots, but they have to be comfortable and good quality. I have one pair of black leather boots, one pair of tan flats, one pair of flat sandals and one pair of trainers! I am yet to complete my other categories... waiting for some more money and good sales to get something really good. So in the end, the idea would be to have actually 8 pairs. However my tan flats seem to go with everything and are serving me very well at the moment, so I'm no rush.

I'm not too bad with shoes. I basically live in trainers (one good quality pair at a time) as I hate having uncomfortable feet. For work I get Skechers ballet style as they are really comfy but smart enough. I have a few pairs but since I've realised my favourite ones can be washed - discovered this after I forgot to bring mine indoors after airing them out and found a slug on them - I might actually get rid of some that don't fit quite so well. I have one pair of winter boots which get compliments every time I wear them (furry lined ones, but also Skechers brand, with firework pattern, they are awesome!). A pair of converse which I'm considering ditching - they look nice but are a bit big. I got them for £15 virtually new when I was volunteering in a charity shop. Some cheap flip flops which I will chuck once I can find my other more comfy flip flops (those ones would actually be wearable to work I think, but I can't find one of them!)

Anyway, I had a little breakthrough today. Went to get DCs' uniform and although we were planning to get 5 outfits' worth for both of them (we did this when DD started school 2 years ago, as it would mean only 1 lot of washing/ironing uniform a week - essential as we were both unwell at that point) halfway through I suggested we put some back and instead have 3 outfits each. So uniform laundry day will now be Wednesday evening as well as Saturday or Sunday each week. I'm glad we agreed on that especially as we now have 2 DCs at school not 1!

Artemis - your MIL situation sounds very sad.

Thanks for the shoe thoughts - Ive often wondered how people cope with or feel about racks and racks of shoes. I know its a female cliche, but really, we only have two feet, and by and large in the UK only two seasons! I like comfy feet too. I think when my 3 current summer sandals give out, one pair of good quality tan flats in replacement will suffice.

Artemis I totally neglected to say, I agree it sounds really really difficult with your MIL. Don't know what to advise, it must be hard being so far away usually :( on that scale it really is a mental illness.

I am very relieved that my parents sold their severely cluttered house because I know I would've struggled to sort it out if it were left to me. I feel cheated out of my childhood home though. My mum has made huge progress but my dad hasn't and I can imagine he will remain a hoarder TBH. :(

I've been through my shoes it is amazing how many I seemed to have just in case. I want some comfortable winter boots my current ones were about 18 from asda I've had them re heeled about 3 times!
I'm going through my wardrobe again today and I'm going to put it in order see what else I can get rid of.

Phase One of the loft/spare room project is complete. Hurrah! The mattress has been put up in the converted loft, while suitcases have been put under our bed and my out of season clothes up on top of our wardrobe.

There are about two hundred phases to this project, though. I have a ways to go.

Currently working our way through one of those 'fix this, decide about that, find that' lists. Depressing, really, but will feel better when it is done and some items ticked off.

Afternoon all
I'm struggling today because of a Fibro flare up - caused mainly because I've been back to the archaeology site for another 2 days this last week - it does take it out of me but I love it so much! I am aiming to do another 2 days next week if I can - after that the site is closed during the week and only open on Saturday mornings for volunteers. As I work on Saturday mornings, this makes it difficult for me and I'm unlikely to be down there much, if at all until next summer. Hence the determination to make the most of it now!

In decluttering news, I took a bag of stuff to my local chazzer this week and managed not to buy anything more from the chazzer I visited today ( I'd walked into my local town - just 10 mins to go to the bank and pick up a few bits but found myself randomly trying things on in a chazzer. How did that happen ) The trip into town nearly finished me off (and it is literally only a 10 minute walk) - I was so stiff and achy by the time I got back, but at least it's done!

I need to consider the shoes I have, as it is possible I could lose a pair or two - although I have already had one cull!

This afternoon I am hoping to get some housework done in 15 minute bursts and hopefully a bit of work-work done too. Though part of me just feels like flopping on the sofa! I may include a 15 minute venture into the spare doom!

Meant to say also :

somme - thanks for asking about my Dad. He is very stable ( though still very disabled). He had a hospital appointment a month or so back and they assessed his mobility an he is walking better than he was a year back. So much for the *** nurses who told my Mum he would never walk again and, I believe, had written him off as "in end stages".

Having said all of that, Mum has said he's not been brilliant all this week - but that could just be something simple like he is going down with a cold.

He is going into a nursing home for a respite for a fortnight on Tuesday and Mum is going away on holiday. He seems quite happy about going there; he visits the same home for day care once a week usually, so he know people there. Mum I think is very over-tired and struggling a bit atm so hopefully the break will be good for her too.

Artemis - sorry to hear about the problems with your MIL. It does sound as if her hoarding is severe enough to be a mental health problem. I thionk you did the right thing because she was saying the stuff was "yours" but you didn't want or need it. But I think that when hoarding is so severe, it is very hard for families to help. Would she be open to some counselling do you think?

Well, MIL had an extended stay and I got very little done However I did sort through all of our documents, they have been filed or destroyed accordingly and I've chucked out the annoying big boxes they were in so that's a bonus. Also rehomed the footstool from out of the kitchen.

It is really interesting to see how so many people on this thread are affected by illness or disability, perhaps it lends both to the 'chaos' and the drive for minimalism. DH and I are both in this boat and it does have a big impact on how organised we are or how much we can do with the house, which in turn I think makes us really want to have a simple home with only a few but well-picked things.

PS MIL took some of our stuff too! She has a large house but rarely buys things for it due to cost and we had some really good, new things that we realised we didn't need or want so she has happily rehomed them

Yes that's a good point delasi. I have always been a clutterbug, having been brought up that way and having a lot of MH issues too. But while I've been aware of this problem for a long time, it was only once I became physically disabled that I really hit my 'rock bottom' and became genuinely ready to change. I realised how much harder my life was because the house is constantly at crisis point, cluttered, disorganised, at risk of avalanches of Stuff. For example even if we could afford a cleaner (and I am considering it if I get the DLA I applied for recently - still waiting for decision) they wouldn't be able to achieve much because there is too much clutter in the way.

It's just a cruel irony that the very reason I have become ready to attack this is also the reason I can't physically manage it. Arti, I am also suffering from the Done Too Much plague today, feel like I'm fighting a flare up. Totally worth it here too, DD absolutely loved seeing some of her favourite paintings, we went on a boat on the Thames too. It has been lovely doing stuff in the holidays as I was unable to last year. I am on the first of 4 days off though and I feel horrendous today, as much in mood as in pain/fatigue, DH is at work all weekend, the house is dark because of the shitty weather/poor light and the DCs are going stir crazy and and and UURRGGHH.

Rant over, sorry

Pooh I lost you all. Still floundering in school holidays. One step forward, two steps back. Counting down the days.

Oh and on a more positive note, can anyone recommend a bookcase? Is the ikea one (expedit I think) decent?

I think I mentioned it on the previous thread but in the corner of our living room we have a bookcase. Well actually I think it was supposed to be furniture for a baby's room but it was the only thing I liked in idea at the time - in hindsight that's probably why the shelves have collapsed under the weight of all the books . Anyway. The point is it needs replacing sadly.

I've been looking for a decent bit of older furniture, to match the large unit we have, but no luck in the charity furniture store yet, and it's hard to move forward with the living room with the bookcase being unusable. Don't know what to do - considered packing the books into airtight boxes for now but don't really have the money or space. Argh!

Or is the bookcase called Billy? Want something sturdy anyway, mostly for A4 size books, we could also put our DVD books on there to get them off my piano!

fuzzpig I hope you get the approval on the DLA front, it can be a real nightmare going through the process (and the government aren't exactly making improvements with the new PIP system) but every little helps and it makes a big difference in our household.

Also wanted to say that I've used the IKEA Expedit, it's a simple and clean looking thing and there's no underneath to get dusty. However the only problem I had is that the division of the cubby holes means that there is actually less space than undivided shelves of the same length, so I could just about fit my books in a bit of a haphazard arrangement - also because I had some large books so only a certain amount could fit in each hole. We had a half size one, about 8 or 10 holes. We now have a different bookcase which is another modular one but with a mix of cabinets and regular shelves.

Oh, the Billy is more like a regular bookcase with shelves instead of cubby holes. I've used that too (we adopt and relinquish furniture as needed!) and it's much more practical for us for the reasons above. However I do think the Expedit looks prettier

I had a look on the website and the billy looks a bit flimsier IYSWIM? Either would fit in the gap though as they are around 80cm wide, or there is a half width expedit (one column of 5 'cubes') which would fit in a different gap and actually would free more floor space... hmm.

Not that we can really afford it right now anyway! I was really hoping to get one to match our unit which we bought for games - got it in a British Heart Foundation for £43 delivered, and my mum has since got 2 similar ones in her local branch. I don't really want to throw money at this issue if I don't have to.

Sorry am in a grump. I thought PMT is supposed to be at the beginning not end of a period but I am proper mardy today

Although DCs just came downstairs playing zombies which cheered me up a bit because they are so funny. Although DS has no bottoms on

Can't remember if you can get those fabric or wicker drawers for expedit, that would be helpful for the highest shelf I think.

You can get fabric drawers for the expedit (they're about £2.50ish) and last time I was in there I noticed they've started making them in prettier colours - from recollection deep pink, lime green/yellow, turquoise blue and red. :)

I've been lurking and reading the threads for months now... and have finally started doing more radical decluttering to try and be able to fit the new baby's things in (at 37.5 weeks pregnant better late than never!). I'd stored everything from previous dc, so at least there isn't anything really to buy, but it has meant massive bags of clothes/blankets/washable nappies etc coming down from the attic, plus cribs, carrycots etc etc.

We don't have another spare room, so my dc's stuff is having to be rationalised somehow to fit some baby stuff in there too which is hard work!

What I have found really helpful in these threads is ideas about letting go of stuff - I've had big bags of 'saleable' things kicking round for years months and am now just accepting I won't get round to ebaying them and just letting the charity shops (chazzers?) have the joy/nuisance of it all, which is a real relief. 5 more bags went this morning - hurray!

That's great leeloo! Looks like the nesting instinct has really kicked in :o

Think I will more likely go for expedit then. They do look much sturdier. I'm not going to order online though as it costs horrific amounts to deliver here. I will see if my dad wouldn't mind taking me there (Croydon one) as he did a few years back. I expect mum would like to go too. Dad has an estate car so should be able to fit it with one seat folded down. I will definitely have to make an exact list if I go though, there's no way I'd manage just wandering aimlessly now.

Said list will definitely include moose shaped pasta if they still do it...