Moving Forward With Minimalism

[MinimalistMommi]

This is a new thread following on from the previous 'm' thread on Good Housekeeping!

All Minimalists or aspiring minimalists welcome!

Hello again! I think I posted a couple of times way back on the first thread, but have just lurked all the way through the more recent threads. I do still find them inspiring! I'm still having the same problem I had on the first thread, though. We moved to the US with very little, and just acquired the bare minimum of furniture, but that was fine when we were in a 500 sq ft apartment. We've bought a place now, though, that's far too big for us three times larger (though apparently still considered average by US standards). And I want it to look warm and homely and arty and cosy like all the rooms I keeping pinning on Pinterest, but at the same time I panic at the idea of lapsing into full-on mindless shopping again!

I know most of you are trying to get rid of stuff rather than acquiring it (as that's kind of the idea of minimalism ), but how have you managed to keep a balance between your place being minimalist and still feeling homely?

HarrietSpy I did a lot of research on sofa beds and what you need is one designed to be slept on daily. Most are not designed for this kind of use. I found it useful to look to cultures that live this way - esp Japan.

There are some really wonderful amazing designer beds that hide in the wall, fold out etc - mainly Italian design, but you are looking at thousands. And you still need quite alot of space. You can also get futons that are designed to go onto the floor - though you will need somewhere to keep it rolled up during the day.

I got this MUJI sofabed It is designed to be slept on daily.

It's not perfect as a sofa but pretty good. I've slept on it a couple of times (accidentally). It is firm and supportive like my bed. I brought the matching footstool to make the sofa a rough L shape if I want - It is also a spare single bed and doubles as a coffee table etc. Actually I can keep it on it's end against the wall too so it creates an "arm" for one end of the sofa so very versatile.

I have a week of the bed left - it goes on Saturday. I'm really enjoying my last week sleeping with DD2 (we have co slept since birth - SOB!! But she is now nearly 3 and likes to rearrange me in the night). But I also can't wait to have the living room as MY (toy free) space, and the bedroom as the girls space. And of course I have my lovely feather duvet and bed linen so I can sleep anywhere with that (decluttered to 2 sheets, 2 duvet covers plus pillowcases - I'd like to have just the one set ideally, but it can be hard to get stuff dry in time, and I still have young DC who tend to puke from time to time etc)

WEEKLY GOALS
Bunks arrive Friday morning.
King size bed leaves Saturday.
Bunks assembled Saturday.
bedroom gone over with a fine tooth comb again re clothes, toys etc.

Phase 2 completed - Sunday

Artem I'm loving the Apartment Therapy website - thanks

Bab, on the house we have a few loose rules (in the sense that we follow them unconsciously rather than them being hard and fast). I wouldn't say we're super-minimalist but we live more happily with streamlined, uncluttered rooms.

1. anything out on surfaces needs to be functional AND beautiful to look at - sometimes that means pricey but often secondhand or repro works too. So we have a beautiful Art Deco statuey thing in our dining room but it's actually the side lamp too. we have a couple of beautiful vases on display with good quality fake flowers in when no fresh so they always look attractive . Stereo is a streamlined Bose thing we can Bluetooth tunes to from phone/iPad rather than a big ugly space gobbler. In the kitchen we even replaced the kettle with a Quooker tap to minimise surface clutter! Toaster is now Dualit rather than the old plasticky one. We have no trinkets on display at all apart from one dresser of family photos. This means everything looks streamlined but requires minimal dusting and looks good.
2. to offset lack of trinkets, we show personality through use of colour, pattern and texture. Kitchen has bright orange wall and geometric print blinds. Sitting room has textured wallpaper, looks like slubbed silk on the walls, and modern patterned fabric on reupholstered family heirloom chair.
3. art work is big and bold - one or two big pictures (some proper art, some just blown up photos by DH) and maps rather than lots of small things to minimise clutter and maximise impact. Frames are usually plain black (or the same colour in a given room - sitting room they are dark brown wood) to unify the look rather than it all be a mess of styles
4. we have a few feature walls of patterned wallpaper to add zing and personality

It works for us although I've yet to reconcile it with broken plastic toy hoarding and half-finished toilet roll artwork generating young DCs... Having said that, Ikea Trofast helps a lot with that!

I like the sound of Project 333 too - going to take a look at that.

Have bought a big plastic box so I have an out box - might put the first things in tonight.

I've just started two rules at home which are really helping with streamlining and removing clutter

1. 10 second rule - if a job takes 10 seconds or less, just do it straight away. It's not minimalist as such, but really helps keep on top of clutter as things go away straight away rather than being left around. And it means I'm getting rid of bits of rubbish - socks with holes etc. - as it occurs rather than waiting for a mythical declutter day!
2. Don't leave a room empty handed - there is always something that's in the wrong place so this way things get returned to their rightful place and rubbish makes it way to the bin rather than just hanging around waiting for a proper tidy up. I suppose they're sort of the same rule really :)

Oh and I found out today that DC3 is going to be a boy. We have one of each already so this one is going to be a minimalist baby as we have all the kit we could possibly need :) The only thing we need to acquire is a buggy to replace the 6 year old Mac which is about to die. And it means I can declutter further by passing on the obviously girlie stuff and only keeping the boy and unisex stuff!

Congratulations everton! DC2 is on the cards at some point in the future for us and although we didn't find out the sex of dd until birth I think I'd like to find out next time if only for the purely practical reasons you have mentioned!

I have sorted around 20 books and DVDs but still more can go, and CDs, so this remains a work in progress for this week.

I have made a start on my make-up, hair, stuff drawer!

congrats everton I listed about 10-15 things on eBay last night instead of mucking around online - have about another 10 to list tonight, and am going to hoke around for more stuff.

Tried using the Royal Mail price checker to estimate postage more accurately, I've been burnt by that in the past!

Anything that doesn't sell is going straight in the outbox to go to car boot sale in 2 weeks time.

Just flying in to say congratulations to Everton! I'm so desperate to know what mine is - what idiocy made me agree to a surprise??

Back for a proper catch up later in the week. Lovely to see so many new-oldies back again.

Congratulations to Everton!

Brrrr, car boot sale in Feb [impressed emoticon]

Excellent link Artem, thanks for that

The outbox is a great idea, can I pretend I already do that as I find the stuff to clear but it sits in my room for weeks months till I deal with it?!

I really liked the part where you walk from room to room just listing the troublespots. I'm going to do that later as I get overwhelmed by everything or just deal with the same little messy spots over and over.

Sitting in a different place in each room to get a fresh viewpoint is also a great idea.

Great start evertonmint, I feel a bit lazy now!

Thanks for your reply, evertonmint (and congrats!) That seems to be what we've been doing anyway, but I've been a bit perturbed by the direction of some recent threads (on other boards!) that suggest that the only way for a house to feel comfortable is to have piles of stuff everywhere, and that minimalist homes are, of necessity, cold and soulless!

Project 333, 4 days in and going pretty well. I'm just going until the end of March in the first instance as I think that's how the 3 month cycle should work (I.e. Start again in April in time for spring).

Dd's room is now v tidy. Haven't managed to get rid of much but have cleared some too small clothes and a few outgrown toys. So far this week job- list is on schedule. I have a huge outbox of things to ebay.

We've had 3 kitchen lights sitting in packaging, taking up space for the past 2 years and have finally arranged for a friend to come and help fit them this weekend in exchange for dinner!

Bab - I think people think minimalist has to mean all white, plain, nothing on surfaces, minimal number of items per person and nothing frivolous or pretty. I guess for some people it might be but I personally think it's more about having a streamlined life, not having or acquiring too much stuff, and everything having a place and specific purpose. That doesn't mean items can't be beautiful. I get seriously antsy if there is too much stuff around - i think too much stuff means you don't appreciate what you actually have as you can't see it for clutter! That's definitely not a comfortable home for me! But I don't like just white and plain, so I try to bring joy to my life through colour and pattern rather than stuff.

I do have too much stuff though!

Turnoffthelights - will you namechange once they're installed? :) Bet that will feel so satisfying once they're up!

Bab I know what you mean... my family have real hoarding tendencies and seem to think a house is not a home until very single surface is literally crammed with nicknacks, ornaments, books, papers etc.

My house is far from "minimalist" in the sense of being a white and stainless steel glass box but I have been steadily clearing out for the past year and life is a lot calmer with a house of edited possessions.

I'm thinking of trying the 365 things idea but after such a vicious clear out in the summer I am actually not sure I have 365 things left that I don't want!!

I need to address spending. I seem to be programmed to spend. Even when I don't need or want anything, I have a urge to spend. It fizzes in every cell.

Lately it has been satisfied when researching and buying the new bits from IKEA and bunk beds etc that we need to make our home more livable. But that period of life is soon to end.

I'll go to the charity shops at lunchtime, even though I'm better at NOT BUYING I still engage with the process of 'shopping'. I will browse online and put things into baskets. yes I have got much much better at not completing a sale unless it's something we really need, but still it's a pointless way to spend my time.

I want not to spend ££. I want not to waste time online "not shopping". It feels so complex - like if I stop spending/researching/shopping etc I'll just be left with ........ me. "Me" could actually do with a bit of my time and attention too. Why then does it feel so revolutionary and terrifying?

Anyone else grappling with this?

It's quite the contrary here. I really don't like shopping apart from browsing for books. It seems to take ages to find things I really like so it's mostly a frustrating experience, and there's so much I'd rather do. That's why I used to keep everything. E.g. When my Mum died I kept her hiking boots for when mine wore out so I wouldn't have to spend money and I wouldn't have to make a purchasing decision.

Bab I agree with everton, it's about how you make it your home in what you do have, instead of throwing stuff in to seem homely. Although we're also far from minimalist, our home actually feels more like 'us' as there's less rubbish and more of our personal favourites on dislay.

For example, by doing a major clear in the bedroom I now have 2 very lovely small tables in there - one as a bedside table, as it's a good shape for that, and one at the foot of the bed, again as it happens to be a good shape for it. They both serve a purpose, they're both special tables that I will not let go of. They're not white and simplistic and they don't match anything, but they're just 'us' and the room still looks simple because there isn't just stuff lying around. And that makes it homely, because we can now see our important things and enjoy them.

For me, one of the best aspects of minimalism is the space to move around. DM has always been one for open plan, and she renovated our home when I was young to instil that (as much as you can in a little post war house!). So for me, space to move around, for kids to place, for guests, or just to sprawl, that's homely for me. I am uncomfortable in clutter, even though we have it, because it feels like I'm not making the most of my home.

In other news, I have been getting carried away with Ikea hack sites I have grand ideas for when we move that involve being very clever with a few bits of furniture...

So many errors... I want kids to play, not be placed

BeCool, I definitely know what you mean. Externally, I appear to live a fairly minimalist life - I don't buy much and only what's needed most of the time and I clear out unnecessary objects from our house (and having moved countries, we didn't have a massive amount of stuff to start with). But internally I still don't feel like I've managed to make that shift, and it's scary to think what that might actually entail.

Right now I still spend an inordinate amount of time looking at and thinking about things I might buy, which sounds rather pathetic. I don't want to think of myself as such a pure consumer. But then if I weren't constantly undertaking this process of continually re-imagining myself and my surroundings (better skin, better clothes, better decor, etc), then I'd have to try to get used to being OK with myself and my home as they are, and that feels rather uncomfortable.

It seems from this thread that some people are instinctively minimalist and for others it's harder work to change from an acquisitive mindset. Does anyone here feel like they've felt that internal shift while going through the external motions?

BabC oh hello
I have made fundamental and wonderful changes in a year. But it's my head, my head my bloody head!! Still I'm engaged with it. I acknowledge it - I acknowledge I'm a shopaholic - not an obvious on. But one nevertheless.

Having NSD's aren totally possible but fill me with anxiety. Not spending anything at lunchtime makes me anxious. It's like I exist less if I don't spend.
I'm determined to turn this around - mentally.

then I'd have to try to get used to being OK with myself and my home as they are, and that feels rather uncomfortable. this nails it really.

I think some focus on self acceptance will be of use.

Bab and BeCool I am mid-way in this. In certain areas I don't feel that need, in others I do. So getting food out, or snacks, lunch at work and such, very easy for me to bypass that - now, that is something that has changed slowly over the last 2 years, I used to feel down if I didn't get a coffee on the way to work, as it was part of the 'ritual' and not taking part felt like I wasn't doing it right Now I breeze past as I can't bear to waste my money on those things.

On the other hand, baby things and homewares are my weak spots. I can avoid the actual spending, but I shop mentally. I already have things saved in my favourites for future DC (and no, I'm not pg!) I do the same with furniture that I think I want. I will spend ages working out everything I might need to go with it. What I will need to get rid of to accommodate it. I can spend the entire evening mentally renovating my home Sometimes I'll spend about an hour, adding things to my basket, and then I have to stop, look at each item and realise one by one that I don't need them and delete. I would like to move past this because, obviously, it's a waste of time! I shouldn't be thinking about these things until I actually need something, and then it shouldn't be hours of planning. Sometimes, I look through pushchairs. For ages. We already have 2, for 2 separate purposes. They're fantastic and I don't want to replace them. I don't want new ones for future DC. So why am I looking at pushchairs?!

Every time I'm here I find more reasons as to why I joined this group...!