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[educatingarti]

This is the new minimalist/decluttering thread! I hope everyone likes the minimal title!

I wish we could set up a working-towards-minimalism or decluttering network (depending on which camp you feel you fall into) with local connections so that we could help each other out physically in RL.

Just been reading the comments from the article Harriet linked to upthread, even though she said dont both reading the comments, I could help myself I found this that someone wrote interesting:

"Here's an idea for those of you with large families or lots of company. It's called "Beware of the Doubling Principle."
When my husband and I got together. He had three young girls, I had a one year old, we were in a four room apartment AND I did in-home daycare. Because of the daycare, I had labeled boxes and baskets and bins - everything DID have a place. But it got CRAZY MESSY in a minute and could have been dangerous for the little ones who were toddling around....
"The doubling principle" goes like this. If one thing is left where it doesn't belong, say a pair of shoes in the doorway, then another pair appears in no time, then two more pairs, than four more, etc. Same with a plate in the sink or a towel on the bathroom floor, a magazine, dirty clothes, you name it - it doubled, then grew exponentially into a pile. I think unconsciously everyone thought, "I guess it's okay to do this."
So, my goal was to stop that ONE thing from doubling by taking care of it right away. After I explained this to my husband and the older kids, they understood WHY putting things where they belonged after using them was so important. Piles of stuff were never as huge or overwhelming after that because I could warn them in a kind and silly way, "You know there will be 16 then 32 then 64 bowls on that counter in no time, right?"
A good cleaning each evening was a lot easier if everything was already in it's place.

jomamavt" Comment from Apartment therapy Dirty Little Secrets of Tidy Families.

I concede - that comment was worth reading. . I just got irritated by people saying that tidy people have no lives!

The doubling principle reminds me of the jinxed objects in Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows where everything you touch duplicates!

Excellent ref Harriet re HP my kitchen is like that at the moment with library books. A pile has grown over the weekend and we were away hope your arm is feeling better.

fuzzpig completely understand re games. I went through the kids books on the shelves in the sitting room. The DCs have been taking the remaining books down and rediscovering them it's amazing how much more they are getting out of having LESS

Am v of all the great work that has happened. I managed to give a bag of pressies and outgrown items to relative. Had an embarrassing DC moment as my DS enquiried what I thought of his cousin having a TV in his room at age 3 when I am absolutely opposed to this

House in chaos as decorating DCs rooms. Feels like a huge task and DD really doesn't want to part with ANYTHING. Luckily she hasn't noticed I went through her room and relocated a few broken bits to the bin

Another interesting article on minimalism and dismantling the walls of stuff between us and the rest of the world. www.missminimalist.com/2012/07/walls-of-stuff/

20 questions to clear your clutter. I love this! www.missminimalist.com/2011/11/twenty-questions-to-clear-your-clutter/

Harriet people saying tidy people=people have no lives makes me too. What's wrong with wanting to live in a nice calm environment?

Super links harriet thank you

fuzzpig if you get the chance look at the first link, I thought of you as I read

Happy birthday Arte hope the run went well

MM nothing wrong at all. Some people don't understand and get frightened by something different. We are a consumer society and the majority of people think more, more, more will make them happy.

I have witnessed since starting to de clutter my home, we are happier as a family. Less for us = a happy home.

Run went really well, Iwill, thanks! I wanted to finish the 5k in under 30 mins and did it in 29.05 so was very pleased with that. It was quite crowded so had a slow start before I was able to shoot off and gather some speed, so I might even aim for 28 next time!

I am also pleased with our continued de-cluttering... finally said goodbye to 4 large carrier bags of books I realised I was keeping to prove how "smart" and "literary" I am. How awful.

However, having boxed up about half of the books we are keeping (manily academic ones we need for work, DH is an academic and I still publish academic articles even though I am a teacher now) I have a small but growing worry that even the keen de-cluttering I have done won't be enough to keep us down to one van when we move.

I keep thinking of all the boxes, bags and furniture that has gone (and the bits that will go, like the ikea chests of drawers we are not bringing and telling myself it will be fine but the pile of boxes to take with us in the spare room is ever growing...

Arti/building I totally agree about the pacing! DH gave me a stern look yesterday, despite being really pleased with how much I'd done, because he feared I'd done too much. I reassured him that I didn't do nearly as much as I'd wanted to, and had stopped way before I wore myself out or felt pain. Unlike the stereotypical ME sufferer, I am actually not the kind of person to be constantly on the go, so pacing comes quite naturally to me! :o I'm itching to get on with more decluttering now (just got in from work) but I'm not going to, as work was tiring and going out for dinner tonight (involving walking/waiting for buses/keeping madcap DS in check) will be hard too, and DH is working tomorrow so I'm on school run duty too - I need to save some energy for all that!

Don't get too despondent arti, after all the only reason you are now struggling to see what to do next is because you have already made progress and done the obvious stuff! I really like the idea of just throwing away one thing per day. You could just make yourself go into the spare doom once a day and come out with one thing to get rid of, no matter how tiny. I sympathise though, I think in the past when we've managed a huge declutter we've then plateaued and that's when the clutter has crept back in. I am determined to make it stick this time though - I think my mindset has changed due to my illness, and reassessing what really matters - not STUFF! I think I will always have to watch myself, though.

MM, your description of Xmas stockings made me :o! I really hate 'stocking filler tat' and try to make sure I get stuff that will be used and cherished throughout the year rather than broken by Boxing Day. My DCs are still a bit that Father Christmas brings them underwear and socks :o but they love them really - mummy never buys character clothes throughout the year so it is a real treat! The main other thing they usually get is little figures (Disney, animals etc) as they play with that kind of thing every day, although they have oodles now so I may have to rethink that plan...

BTW the sticker dolly dressing books - DD got a world costume one for her birthday today from the Book People, it was £2.99.

Only just noticed the last page of posts! I think the whole point of the minimalist family idea is that because you have less stuff, you DO have more of a life, partly because less stuff means less housework!

Wll have a look at those links :)

Just been catching up with the last couple of days' posts. Our dining table is an ongoing battle, I manage to keep it clear for a while and then suddenly, junk starts accumulating there again. It's currently enjoying a clear phase, and I'm trying really, really hard to stick with it. The table is in the living room as there isn't room to eat in the kitchen, and the state of the table makes a massive difference to how the room feels. For a while the junk just moved to the top of the bookcase, and although that isn't totally clear yet, it's getting there.

I managed to declutter some more bits and pieces out of my jewellery box, but that's about as much as I've managed. I have found a few more bits that can go though, so they'll go in the next chazzer bag.

Those links are all great. I looked at another post on miss minimalist and loved this quote about her baby:

I?ve noticed that if multiple toys are within her reach, she becomes easily distracted and distraught. She?ll pick up one for a few seconds, then go to another, then go to another?none seem to satisfy her for very long. If I give her only one toy at a time, she?s more focused, and plays more quietly and contentedly. It?s fascinating to see this reaction to ?too much stuff? at such an early age, and makes me ever more determined to keep her play environment simple and uncluttered.

By coincidence, I actually just remembered yesterday that in our first place (where we lived from my first pregnancy until DD turned one), we actually had a Toy Box. Literally, one box - not even a big one, it was a Baby Duplo tub. All her toys fit in it.

And I thought - where did it all go wrong? And it didn't take me long to work it out. I was lonely when we moved to this area (couple of counties away from my hometown) around DD's first birthday (5 years ago now) - not that I'd made any firm mum friends in DD's first year, but I had my college mates, and one of their mums who I used to walk to often, and my family too. I had to start from scratch when we arrived here and as DH was working FT then, I was isolated - apart from seeing my DSDs after school some days (being closer to them was the reason we moved and obviously it was more than worth my personal struggle - we are a really close knit family and moving here was absolutely the right thing to do for all of us). It is all a blur really as depression was much worse then, but I guess I started spending a lot more time in town, buying stuff to try and inject some 'newness' into the drudgery. It got much worse when I had DS - I felt guilty for being so wrapped up in him that I overcompensated with lots of new stuff for DD.

Sorry for waffling. This thread is such great therapy!

On toys: fuzzpig, I recognise so much of what you said! I can map my buying directly onto my moods. I bought loads when I was lonely, depressed, exhausted in a new city with a new baby just because it took me out into the world. I would never spend oodles on myself but buying for my dc? A different story. My grandad was always horrified by how many toys the dc had and I used to rationalise it by saying that their friends had so many more... Despite only deliberately bringing a few toys when we went abroad for a year I bought new stuff for ds1 because I felt guilty that he was so unhappy and I was so lonely... We've also got into this nuclear profileration around dc and Christmas/birthdays and I don't know how to pull it back because I get accused of being parsimonious. I know I don't want more stuff in our lives and for the first time in years I have half a chance of getting my finances in order and I don't want to jeopardise that...

*fuzzpig" Thank you for your encouragement. You are right - one thing a day is the way to go! (Wasn't I saying that to you not so long ago?) It is hard though - even the one thing, when you have so much else that is a priority and you keep getting distracted by mn

Oh yes the distraction of MN, was looking for a choc chip muffin recipe and that was 30 minutes ago

I can also map out the toy explosion in our lives. When DD was under 18 months we had an Ikea basket for toys in the sitting room and a book shelf in her nursery. Then we moved twice and didn't have space for toys so spent most of our time outdoors.
Then when we moved to our "forever" home we had space and we filled it!
I'm about to go into DCs room and empty tubs, label and put away properly.

Wish me luck...I might be some time

So proud of this I may even post a pic of it... I was wondering what to do with my race for life medal - it is the definition of junk and I've been so ruthless lately, but part of me wanted to keep it as it was the first race I ever ran.
So I made it into a key ring for my work keys! It's quite sturdy and a good size, and every time I use my keys I remember the feeling of crossing the finish line under my time.

There hasn't been a toy explosion here. Actually books and craft supplies aside, we don't buy things very often for our children. (but they get pocket money so probably buy themselves a toy every couple of months)

But DCs still have sooo much of stuff.

One child has lived through 8 Christmases and birthdays and the other 9. So that's 17 x the amount of people who give gifts.

My DCs have 7 lots of family members who send them gifts for each occasion.
So assuming one item per donor (and it's often more) that's 238 gifts and that's excluding:
-birthday/Christmas gifts from DH and I
-gifts when we hold a birthday party
-gifts from visitors (a fair amount of people drop in on us on their way to more exciting destinations for their hols and often bring a little something for the DCs)

When I was growing up I only had one set of GPs alive and two uncle/aunt couples sent a gift at Christmas but not birthdays. The other side of the family were in a developing country so didn't send anything. People visiting might bring a box of chocolates for the family to share but not things specifically for me and siblings. You didn't get toys with your food when you went to the chippy or for pub grub. Just lollipops at the Little Chef if you cleared your plate. (Are they allowed to do that still?)

They are lucky children and appreciate what they have but living like this just isn't necessary or durable.

Excellent idea Artemis, it's now doubly useful as a key ring and self-esteem booster!

Toy explosion at birth of second child. Birthdays right after Christmas do NOT help.

Have just ditched paperwork from before 2006. Am self-employed so have to keep lots but found lots that can go!

Arte what a fab idea!! Your first race time is the same as my DHs best time ever!! (He is very proud of that time and mentions it often when talking of running)

I'm not a runner so it just sounds impossible to me!

Muffins made, time to tackle the dinosaur habitat upstairs.

Wow! A revelation last night. I changed the dc's beds, put the books back on the shelf that they'd squirrelled under pillows and duvets. Removed a load of cushions which we got to give James a comfy space on his bed (bottom bunk/mattress on floor) and removed a lot of soft toys which had somehow managed to walk up the stairs... Properly tidied, hoovered and cleaned the room.

We actually had all 4 dc asleep no later than 8pm. In a tidy room with clean bedding. I even removed the dolls from Emily's bed that she had been playing with and reminded them all that at bedtime, the beds are for sleeping not playing. The Big two each have their most favourite toy plus one or two more. The twins have two toys each in their cots. They're not yet at the age where they want more than a moppy to snuggle up with. Just need to keep up with it.

Am fed up with looking at the piles at the bottom of our bed so bagged nearly everything up. Took out a pile of clean but unironed clothes. Put Washed blankets/bedding away. Still got 4 bags of stuff to sort through but an operating the 'put it out of sight and if I don't go to it, get rid of the whole bag'. Might have to look through a couple as I know they have the dc's first sleep suits in them. Am considering getting them made into those keepsakes as while I like looking at the size and getting all sentimental about how teeny they were, they're not doing anything else but I really cannot bear to part with them.

Taking bags and a box of stuff over to storage so I'm not shovelling more crap in the loft. My sister is also doing a major declutter and may be getting a skip (or 3) so has said I can drop things in it if I need to. She took 20 bags of rubbish out of my niece's bedroom this weekend. Mum said even I wasn't that bad as a teen. But it gives you an idea of how cluttered a life I have led.

I really need to break the cycle of keeping things just in case. Even on these threads I started off with the best of intentions. But have been seriously sidetracked along the way.

Oh, and 4 birthdays in an 8 week block don't help either. I dread to think what this Xmas will be like now the twins are older

Sokmonsta Would the sleep suits fit a doll or teddy bear? that way you could keep them but the dcs could get play value out of them too! I loved having "real" baby clothes for my dolls.