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[educatingarti]

This is the new minimalist/decluttering thread! I hope everyone likes the minimal title!

clear The idea is that having 'pauses' built into your family routine just allows children to calm down and reduces stimulation, allowing them to de-stress(am paraphrasing madly, so forgive me if I put my own interpretation on it!). By lighting a candle at the start of the meal then just waiting for a minute in silence ( start with ten seconds and build up) the children can just gaze at the flame and settle. I guess it replaces prayers if you are in a non-religious household. At the end the children take turns to blow it out and the candle going out signifies the end of the meal stops them wandering off so easily as well.

Thanks Tougholdbird. It could be a good routine for me. My DCs are terrible about coming to the table when called. They are always so busy. So I sometimes start mealtimes feeling irate. Also the silence would help them adjust their voices when they have been playing noisily just before the meal.

MM They don't have it. It doesn't appear to have been translated into French yet and the English language books they have are mostly the sort of English literature the uni students study. Could it be read on a long weekend? I could get my Dad to reserve it in time for my next visit.

clear an added attraction if they are old enough is letting them light the candle, then the younger one gets to blow it out - although the novelty might wear off I suspect :).

It's a very quick/easy read, so yes you probably could read it over a weekend. My county libraries didn't have it though otherwise I wouldn't have bought it on kindle.

I love the way it suggests a gradual approach, it feels attainable. I definitely need to do the clutter/mess first - as suggested in the book - as it is just chaos in our house right now. For example we don't currently all eat at the table, as we were before, as the table is the biggest clutter magnet and is just full of shite. If doing a quick tidy we usually start with the table but it's pointless as there's nowhere for it all to go, and it never lasts more than a day or so.

Thanks for explaining Harriet, that is definitely how I feel. Now I've started I am much more confident in my ability to decide what counts as clutter! :)

And it's already easier to tidy up, as I've been sifting through some random crap on aforementioned table (looking for something, not actually decluttering) I found more colouring stuff, Lego and animal figures and have put them ready to go up once DD is asleep as they finally have specific homes! :)

I'm so proud of all the progress being made on here. I have to confess to stalling for a while now, but I still have the declutterer's eye that fuzzpig has discovered. I have been ebaying, and another lot of stuff went on tonight. Ds has just outgrown another set of clothes so I want to out them on too but they are the wrong season - heaps and heaps of dungarees. I am so grateful that this thread has made me much better at dealing with hand me downs and volumes of clothes. I returned a lot of the original baby gifts and didn't feel guilt tripped into ds wearing them once just for a photo for the donor. With hand me downs, I went through them all and discarded duplicates and excesses when I did my big cash for clothes collection. Now, when I went to look out ds' next set of clothes, it is a manageable bundle instead of a heavy load on my mind. Love it. Now, if someone would get off their backside and buy my baby swing I'd love it even more!

I still need to deal with general levels of clutter in the house though as I am nowhere near Wendybird's easy to tidy up state. Although it is much easier than it was. I can sympathise with fuzzpig s table. Ours has an end that is a clutter magnet. It starts with the pot of water that I use for ds' nappy changes as the original centre of mass which attracts all manner of other things. DH just squeezes his plate in amongst it. Plus it is opposite the clothes drying racks so dry washing piles can outstay their welcome too. I need to be more disciplined with washing (or the putting away of). We will be packing up soon for 3.5 weeks away, so that will be an incentive to do a sweep of the house at the same time. If the nice weather returns, then the garage may get a seeing to as well!

And so dh's latest comment was 'how come when you tidy the bedroom, your side is tidied first' (I actually think he's said this before). I don't think he was impressed when I told him it was his stuff and he'd grumble if he couldn't find it, so I left it to him to put where he saw fit.

So the end result is I will put everything away according to my system. Which makes sense to me but not him. And tough if he can't find something because I'll likely have decluttered it due to non use

He will just have to learn. I don't mind being a housewife. But he's got to realise if I tidy it, it goes back where I put it! 6 years of living together and recently he's started messing up the cutlery drawer system. So when I'm halfway through cooking, I can't find the bloody things I need.

Clear you could read SP in a weekend I reckon.
We do the candle from September through to march, it's sort of a special signal to us about the changing of the seasons. Its very beautiful when it is dark outside and we light it for breakfast too. We use beeswax candles and they smell beautiful. The candle light definitely calms the children. During the spring/summer as there is so much light, it doesn't seem to have so much significance for the children if that makes sense so we don't do it all year around.

For everyone talking about the table issues, I've found it being used as a dumping ground had to be banned completely. I was in that exact same place about five years ago. After the children have finished an activity on it, they HAVE to clear it away to make sure the table is clear for breakfast and tea time. I check the table before after the children have climbed into bed ready for breakfast too.

As an interim measure while you're still in the process of decluttering so you're not organised exactly how you want it, try placing an oblong wicker basket or plastic tub at one end of table so bits and bobs can be placed in there rather than scattered across table so you can still access it to eat.

Re-reading Hobnob post about the table, she describes one object as a magnet, I have read about this in decluttering books. It's like a room with a broken window, the window is a mess, so near that window more 'mess' gathers as people think, 'What's the point, the window looks a mess so it's pointless making everything else look nice' So, more and more 'mess' is drawn to that area.

We went through a lovely candle phase. . Every meal by candlelight. So funny and sweet.

Have ditched a load of paperwork this morning in an effort to find mislaid boiler papers. Urgh. And have started Christmas shopping so have to sort out our concerted loft/study so we have somewhere to store it all.

Am very wary of 'being on fire', fuzz. It never ends well, in our condition. Little and often. Pace yourself!

I've just been catching up on this thread and feeling a bit as I don't think I'm managing very much on the decluttering front. My spare doom is still pretty much a total tip even though I've sorted a few bits out. I never seem to get spare time and energy coinciding to do a lot!

My sum of jobs over the weekend seems to have been doing food shopping and batch cooking a casserole, mending my peg bag (I made it myself from an old embroidered pillow case but the hanger I used wore a hole in the fabric so I have patched it!) emptying bins and taking out recycling and doing a load of washing and putting it on the airer.

I have slept a lot! I have so many clutter magnets - especially in my workroom! Loads of stuff I don't know what to do with really!

Ok, my flat isn't a total tip but it never seems to get past a particular point of sorting!

building I've started getting things for the children's stocking presents when i see it with 50 % off, trying not to buy tat though, but stuff that will be used like pretty hair bands and clips, cute socks and knickers with pictures on they always love! I tend to get them an Usbourne sticker books each, the dolly dressing up ones but they're never as much as 50 % off, more like buy one, get one half price in WHSmiths. I get them handmade chocolates too in little cute designs!

educating can you get any dedicated time to it, like say over a week where a number of hours can be sent on it each day to get past the point if that makes sense? So you keep on ploughing on with it?

Having cleared the annex yesterday DH and I managed to cull another box of baby clothes leaving us with 1/2 box of sentimental items to save and another box to ebay. I've listed some cloth nappies, chandelier and posh paint for sale and some items on freecycle. Also culled some frames and books for the chazzer.

It feels great getting rid of storage boxes!

I'm am currently vacuuming and going around with a carrier bag at the same time picking up any paper that's been scribbled on etc from other the weekend and looking for stuff that needs to be binned

Completely agree with hobnob and MM on clutter magnets!

Interesting little post on apartment therapy website: www.apartmenttherapy.com/dirty-little-secrets-of-tidy-families-190889 (but don't bother with the comments - lots of people getting defensive, etc). The main thrust of the article (and the point of minimalism for me): less stuff, more fun.

It is difficult MM

Because I have fibro, I have to pace myself quite carefully. I get extremely tired and quite often spend Friday, Saturday and Sunday afternoons sleeping to "catch up". I work on Saturday mornigns and go to church on Sunday mornings.

My work has to come first. I have to average over 30 hours a week to be eligible for working tax credits. I am doing that that at the moment but only just!

Then I have to prioritise eating fairly well (I was diagnosed with insulin intolerance last year and have had to buck my ideas up about what constitutes a balanced meal!) I try and batch cook stuff and put in freezer. I don't find that cooking comes very easily to me and I have to psych myself up a bit to do it!

Then I am trying to actually get to bed for 9.30/10.00pm as I have discovered it does make a big difference to how I feel. As I am tutoring, I don't finish work till late (9.00pm one night).

Then there are the random things like hospital/doctor appointments, taking the car for an MOT that seem to crop up on a nearly weekly basis!

I do keep my living room fairly clean and tidy as parents use it to wait in when students come to me for tutoring.

I think I'm also at a stage where I'm not too sure what to do next with the decluttering so it's not easy to just keep dong 10 min bursts as I'm not so sure what I am going to do in the 10 mins!

My fibro consultant is nagging me about doing more exercise too. I don't think I'm too bad on that - I try and walk a mile or so a couple of times a week and I garden on Fridays when I have the energy and the weather is up to it! ( I get paid for this - kind of a 2nd job - I don't tutor on a Friday evening because I've discovered that there's not too much point!). I think I overdid the gardening last Friday - I did nearly 5 hours and really enjoyed it but paid for it in tiredness and aching over the weekend!

So that is where I am up to really!

After that essay, I need to get on with some work!!!!

Hello- may I join in - I need to work on my dh- he has so many clothes and will not throw away, also stuff from work that needs shredding ALL over the house!

He gets cross when I mention it but I am going to have to stand firm because I am not sure our marriage will cope any more

Oop - brought thread down now

Any tips on motivating other people.

Nishky - others on here have motivated their other halves by tidying and decluttering some areas they have control over and their own half of the bedroom, putting all dps stuff into his half for him to sort out. they then get to see the contrast!

educating I'm going to pm you quickly as I don't want to 'out' myself on this thread to anyone that knows me.

Thanks educating I have started to do that, will persevere with that,

Too many that's

Thanks MM

Hello nishky. That sounds so difficult. Have you read any stuff online about it? If you google 'living with a packrat' you get some interesting stuff. This might be a place to start: zenhabits.net/how-to-find-peace-living-with-a-packrat/

Welcome Nish my DH got cross at first, I did all my own stuff and general house and then he admitted it was the right path a couple of years later and is fully on board now