There will be no soot in the Fledglings sacks as they FLY through December and into the New Year

[laurenamium]

If your house is a mess and you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and wine along the way.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in weekly designated zones of the house; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with more time to do other more interesting things instead! At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again anyway!

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings. Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound (and you may discover a few of our subversions of the vocabularly along the way).

Many thanks to blue for leading the thread through November (and sc for such a good OP, which has been cut and pasted twice!) and I'll post the first babysteps and mission tomorrow evening.

All welcome!!

Cuddledup - I'm so sorry about your dad - and I feel so angry on your behalf that nobody was looking after you over Christmas. You need to be looked after when you are grieving. When is the funeral? I remember what a hurdle that is to overcome from when my own dad died, but it can also be comforting to see the other people who cared for him. ((hugs)).

Winge alert:

I'm so relieved Christmas is over. I found it really stressful this year and honestly can't say I enjoyed Christmas Day at all . This was partly because I was exhausted by then: I spent all day Christmas Eve washing, ironing, crisis cleaning and wrapping the last few presents, DM arrived in the afternoon and I cooked dinner for us all, then - just as I was off to bed at 12.30 that night (earlier than previous Christmas Eves), DS2 woke up, excited that his stocking was full and thinking it was morning. By the time I'd settled him back to sleep it was nearer 1am, then the visiting dog woke me up at 6am whining and scratching at the kitchen door. Had to get up and take her for a walk.

I went through the day's rituals and DM helped me with the cooking, but I was aching all over and just wanted it to be over. DS1 was ill (probably from eating too much white chocolate in his stocking) and couldn't eat Xmas lunch. DS2 refused to eat it because of the 'funny smells' from the sauces . It probably didn't help that I'm on strong antibiotics for another chest infection. Once MIL left at 4, I went to bed and slept for three hours!

When DH and I walked the dog that evening, we discussed what I could do differently next year. The problem was that I did everything and it was all too much for me in the end. We decided that:

1. He would buy the boys' presents and I would just do the stocking.

1. Everyone would buy presents for each other, instead of me doing it all. It's crazy, thinking about it, but I buy presents for myself and the boys from both Grandmothers, wrap them and label them. The idea is that I know best what the boys want and what I want, but it's too much for me to do everyone's shopping for them and I'm fed up with it.

1. We will continue decluttering this year so there is less tidying up to do

1. I will not put any chocolate in the boys' stockings!

1. I will work on getting the boys to do more themselves, eg putting their own clothes away.

1. We will start insisting the boys sit at the table for at least 10 minutes at mealtimes, instead of jumping off their chairs after three bites.

There is probably more, but DH and I are going into work now so I must go and walk the dog and get ready.

You all sound as if you have had lovely Christmases. What am I doing wrong?

Morning all! Finally read the thread properly!

Sorry to hear about your dad cuddled unmumsnetty hugs coming your way!

toffee I'm sorry to hear you haven't had a lovely Christmas it's good that you and your DH have talked about it and have an action plan! The sitting at meal times sounds like a good idea too! DD didn't sit with us for Christmas dinner. She threw a tantrum when I went to put her in her seat so she went hungry until she changed her mind a bit later. I'm working through table issues also!

I have posted a thread in sleep if anyone can help about DD. 6 hours in total last night she spent throwing tantrums for no reason and so we are both very grumpy today!

Today's to do:
Sort playroom
Find room for toys
Clean kitchen floor
Routines
Walk dogs
Go to the bank
Pick up dog poo
Sort recycling for tomorrow
Visit parents

BBL!

Hello you lovely lot. Hope I don't get mixed up with the name changes!

Have just waved our first set of visitors off. House looks like exploded bomb but survived. Wasn't expecting to enjoy it, but am having a surprisingly good Christmas!! We did everything in a more parred down/casual way this year and tbh I don't know why I had put such pressure on myself on previous years eg have half the decorations up that we normally have, and it still looks ok, if not better!

Heroic dh virtually cooked the entire Christmas dinner alone and did a fab job of it (I did the vegetable prep and that was about it) which left me time to faff about with last minute decorations and table etc and generally finish the stuff I hadn't done.

Did manage to amble along ride yesterday Lauren but needed the mounting block PLUS a good lot of very undignified propulsion from dh and friend on my rear end to get up on 17.2 pigeon-toed Cleveland X And let's just say that the muscle rub cream is much in evidence this morning.

Only blip was sermon at church which made me want to walk out but that's quite a common occurrence atm tbh.

Cuddledup Sincere condolences to you and your family. I am so very sorry to hear the very sad news about your father. It is always really hard to lose a parent, even when expected, and particularly hard at this time of year. And so sorry that your guests have been so insensitive. Hope you are bearing up x

Lauren sorry to hear that you are still having sleep probs....

Poor you Toffee sounds as though you have really been put through the ringer this year. Hope you are recovering a bit now and can take some time for yourself - and that you can avoid succumbing to pneumonia again.

Arf at Swan swearing at buses...

Safe travelling Lplate and glad you have your dh with you at last and that you and your leg survived Christmas ...

Have a great trip Engels

Forgot to wave to everyone else Trazzles Pushme Feetheart Honu Justgettingonwithit PA (if you happen to be lurking!) Advent Going Blue Nettie Ellie Castle Purple Nicknack PennyApple and everyone else!!

Toffee if it helps i spent christmas day painting a room. Lunch was scrambled eggs because i had forgotten to take something out of the freezer. And I went training. Actually that last sentence was the highlight of the day because I had company.

I hate christmas. we expect too much out of it. we expect to put people in a room who we probably wouldn't put in the same room at any other time of th year, we want people to behave in a manor that is not their normal manor, we place high expectations on the day being this perfectly constructed myth that tv and films have created. It isn't. And I have the highest respect for Just who said fuck it lets focus on what is important to us and ignore the rest! We are not super human, we are just plain old human and we can't do and be everything the expectation wants. There will be good points of your christmas. Focus on those and I hope you get better soon.

Lplate I was wondering where you were and if you were ok. Sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time. Hope Christmas was ok.

And the rest of you Hope you had reasonable christmases and aren't drowning in too much clutter!

I have been abscent because (surprise surprise)i found i got more done that way. I have stripped out a room and completely redecorated it with the exception of the gloss and will do the door frame and door tonight/tomo. Skirting boards ain't going to happen (no one can see them anyway.) Just got to put the room back together and everything is being sorted and cleaned before it goes back. Final result will be one posh master bedroom! Well it will be when i have finished making the quilted throws etc to give the room some colour. It is currently mostly white.

Ds is back tomo and I can't wait. Also normally by now I can't wait to get rid of the christmas decorations and get on with life but this year they aren't bothering me. will still be gone on the 1st though i expect.

Could whoever is running the Jan thread remember to put fledglings in the title pretty please. it reminds people we are a long running thread. and hopefully we won't get over run again cos that was seriously scary Not that we don't want newbies just 60 odd in one thread was a little overwhelming .

will be back at some point but no idea when. i am constructing a kick ass plan for next year. it is erm, intensive?

Just checking in with a list update:

Sort playroom- in progress
Find room for toys- in progress
Clean kitchen floor
Routines
Walk dogs
Go to the bank
Pick up dog poo
Sort recycling for tomorrow
Visit parents
Food shop
write shopping list
Be in when auntie visits- she's on her way
Put grown out of toys in loft
Drop some toys at a friend who is a childminder
Take down display ready for new one
Accounts
Try get my Internet working on new laptop
next months budget

BBL!

Is anyone brave enough to take on the thread for January?

Oh yes (brain dead today) forgot to mention main reason for posting!!

Owing to dh's ever-shifting work commitments and the fact that we have decided (sadly) that fil's dementia means that it is unsuitable for dd to visit - our travel plans have changed (for third time). We are going away for just 2.5 days from tomorrow.

So will be back in time to run scary January thread if no one else has burning desire to do it.

Also forgot to say to Bitchy hope your Christmas/decorating going well!!

Right, must go and reacquaint myself with Flying routines and force the ground floor in to some sort of order ....avoiding complicated construction of Playmobil house ....

x posts ¨Bitchy!! Glad the makeover is going ok!

toffee I think you can't win. I was congratulating myself on my uber relaxed approach to Xmas on Christmas Eve, only to be exhausted on Christmas Day by not having pulled all the stops out the night before , oh and not clearing all the worktops sufficiently

We too buy presents from one set of grandparents, luckily Dh does that batch. Other than that, I have wrapped presents to 24 plus people this year, including teachers and various relatives. The stockings were fun this year though, because Santa Claus bought things like toothpaste and electric toothbrushes, and hair gel, and deodorant for ds1...mmmhaahaa wicked mum alert. And some really fun things too I hasten to add...

This year I felt so relieved that my sister had sent the presents wrapped via BIL, as usually she sends them from Amazon unwrapped and that is just one more chore to wrap them...

The other thing is I think Christmas Day is the start of Christmas, not the end, so you have to view it accordingly. By day 3 people are really beginning to relax and enjoy the holidays (especially if there is a lovely dog to walk!)

Well, we are still holed up at home today. We got up at 10am. I tidied and rearranged kitchen last night, so it looks at bit better. Slowly tackling rest of house which is APPALLING (except for posh living room). Interesting how children are gravitating towards tidiest room, they do prefer tidy..

done
two loads of washing
hung out washing
wiped table
pork fillet to cook for lunch
threw away three bags of rubbish
recycling

todo
sweep/clear out back yard, one Xmas prep I never got round to doing - rubbish men coming tomorrow so this is my chance to turn things around. It is disgusting out there

good plan
go for a walk somewhere in rain gear

Toffee chest infection hope you can relax a bit now. Will ds1 take dog out for you, if you offer him chance to help with that?

SC my little niece spent most of Boxing Day playing with my Auntie's dollshouse. I had forgotten how lovely they are. I want one! We have one, but it is not furnished appropriately atm (several Star Wars figures in there) I want four poster beds, and miniature soap dishes etc, kitchen dressers..

Toffee I was just thinking again about the grandparent present thing. My mum always asks me what the children want..and I have to say this year I just gave up and said, get them whatever you want, except books! She bought everything from a site called Bright Minds; she now has it logged on her computer and finds it really easy to organise. Usually I micromanage but this year I just left her to it. She used to give them completely the wrong thing so I suppose I felt I had to advise her, but it is panning out now.

Swan - I like your idea that Christmas Day is just the start of Christmas. I must say, I am much happier now. I have managed to catch up on sleep and the antibiotics have kicked in, so I'm feeling better. I agree with you about not micromanaging present buying anymore. I can believe that you wrapped 24 presents - isn't it exhausting? I had forgotten about all the presents for teachers that I had to buy and wrap too.

Re: walking the dog - DS1 won't take the dog out unless nagged. Big news: he no longer wants a dog of his own! I think walking the dog in all weathers in the winter months has made him think twice. DS2 didn't want a dog and neither did DH, so everyone is very relieved. We have decided to continue looking after the lovely Border Terrier during the holidays, so we still get the benefits of dog ownership on a temporary basis .

SC - am certainly doing my best to avoid pneumonia again! Went straight back onto antibiotics at the first sign of infection. I hope you have a good trip.

Bitchy - you are quite right about us putting unrealistic expectations on ourselves about Christmas and I am always guilty of that. I want it to be as good as possible, but I do it all on my own and then burn out. I'm sorry you didn't have your son with you this year. I know you were prepared for it, but still, it must have been tough. Keeping busy by redecorating sounds like a great plan - the posh master bedroom sounds wonderful .

Good advice on keeping the word 'fledgling' in the next title . As you say, newbies are welcome, but not hundreds at once! And last year's January thread did go a bit crazy .

lauren - thanks for your kind words. Sorry to hear you are having table issues too. However, your DD has the excuse that she is only little - my two are 7 and 13 and should know better.

Also, very sorry you are having sleep issues with DD. It is utter hell (speaking from bitter experience).

Going to walk the dog with DM and DSs now, then come home and play Monopoly. Wine is chilling in the fridge and DH has promised to cook dinner. Am feeling a lot better .

Actually it was strangely relaxing. felt like another day really but didn't feel christmasy in the lead up at all. christmas is kinda washing over me entirely this year.

No builders
No house guests
No more parties
Just DH and me

Bliss!

Now need to recall what flying is about and get some done before term time and builders start again.

What fool education authority thought breaking up on the Friday just before Christmas was a good idea?

I am not a deft person and gift wrapping takes me ages. This year I did it better and next year I think I shall have it properly sussed. Gift bags and tissue paper are the way to go. Save all gift bags given to you, also nice brown paper carriers. Wrap present roughly in tissue, put in bag, another bit of tissue scrunched on top for total disguise, label, bit of frilly decoration if required, done! I did the whole lot in an hour. Large present for young child in decorated binbag.

I hate the fact that 'Christmas' starts early in November and has become a retail-fest. That all adds to the stress. Also, ever since they started the Jan 1st bank holiday it all goes on for so long afterwards. I'm ready to start ordinary living now. I do like Christmas, but just in moderation.

ps and yes, child was supervised with plastic bag etc, etc, just in case I get chastised for that ....

Hello all, just had a quick scan of the thread,
Lauren hope the sleeping issues are soon resolved, no advice but fingers crossed
Toffee hope you get to enjoy the rest of the holiday, try to take it easy.

I have to say, apart from a few tantrums from an overexcited, sleep deprived 8 yer old, this has been the best Christmas I've had in years. We've recently moved to Glasgow, and are now 300 miles from both sets of parents, as much as I miss mine, it was SO nice not to have to do the travelling round.
I also have to thank this you all, as this thread has meant I kept on top of the housework, and didn't have that much to do Christmas Eve.

Saying that I'm not really flying today, but have done:
Toys & books away
Vacuumed the flat
Been for a walk with Dd & Dh, she REALLY needed to burn off some energy.
Rubbish & recycling out.
1 load washing done.

Hello everyone! Have had a busy day trying to get DD back into her routine! She's now fast asleep and hopefully will stay like that! The playroom took a back seat so there is still toys everywhere but ill continue with it tomorrow!

at your DC preferring tidy swan

Thank you for offering to lead the scary thread sc and have a lovely few days away!

toffee hope you are taking it easy! No more pneumonia!

Just checking in with a list update:

ta da:
Sort playroom- in progress
Find room for toys- in progress
Routines
Walk dogs
Go to the bank
Sort recycling for tomorrow
Visit parents
Food shop
Be in when auntie visits
Put grown out of toys in loft
Accounts

We managed to get out of the house...Dh stayed at home to work a bit, but we went to the swimming pool, and played some tennis there (not me though. There is something reassuringly luxurious about swimming in the Christmas hols, it could be Tenerife

It is an uphill struggle to get anyone to do any tidying, any homework or any exercise though. Ds1 seems only able to exert himself to sing along to Hairspray very loudly, Ds2's exertions include running off with laptop tucked under his arm as fast as he can, and Dd has completely given up and just surrendered herself to the sofa, hugging Eeyore. Cats are not setting a good example at all, as they continue to drape themselves nonchalently except for when they want food, when they perform little dances of anticipation.

flying............whats that again!
my excuse is i dont want to get the stonking great diamond that was presented to my left hand on christmas morning wet/dirty/contaminated with anything
(or fizz to be precise) on me!!

Congratulations nightshade what lovely news!

Arf at your cats swan!

DD is currently having tantrum number 1 of the night and my silent timer is set so ill do the links now... cold hearted

Tomorrow is babystep 28: making sure you look after yourself

It's Friday tomorrow which is de cluttering your car and purse

Tomorrow's mission is to polish your doorknobs

We are still in zone 5: the living room and the detailed cleaning list is here

Be back tomorrow! Night everyone!

Good luck with the sleep issues tonight, lauren.

Am proud to note that I am ahead with the missions: I polished my door knobs today .

Goodnight all.

Oh, and congratulations nightshade - have just seen your post!

I am here albeit in a very slack fashion and arf at the polishing your doorknobs .

Will do things but later, have been up since 3 after a nightmare.