Fledglings Fly into July!

[BlueEyeshadow]

Welcome to the July 2012 Fledgling Flyers thread. Park your mops, buckets and microfibre cloths here!!

A huge "thank you" to SanguineChompa for leading us throughout June!!

If your house is a mess and you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and wine along the way.

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's tips on restoring order to our homes, and as we are all at different stages we will be using one of the following methods:

• repeat or start baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

All welcome!!

Apologies for starting the thread so late - it took SC lobbing the duster at me to make me remember it's July tomorrow (and I've blatantly cut and pasted her OP too)!

The first baby step is to shine your sink! See here for the Fat Fairy's tutorial...

No mission because it's Sunday. But here's the flight plan for established flyers

SC tell me to get lost if you want as it's none of my business but was thinking about the perils of dieting in foodie land. Do the lovley ice cream shops sell sorbets etc too? Cos they're about half the calories. Filo pastry is less than shortcrust or puff, fruit puddings healthier than chocolate etc. Could thinking about treats that way help??

Ooooouf!

Well, the "toddlers" at my house went really well. Much better than out at a hall, but a tad restrictive in terms of space. Still, no tears.

I do have three crates of "stuff" to relocate from my tidy up this morning though It's mainly junk, so most can be binned, but I was going the FlyLady way and just chucking things that didn't belong into a crate. Much easier, and I can go through it at my leisure and ensure that stuff isn't thrown away accidentally.

swan I'll stick my hand up to AD's too. I was very much against them to start with, but OMG they made such a difference to my life. Took about 2 weeks to get them to kick in, but I then lost the "I want to sleep all the time" feeling, and was able to see the wood as well as the trees IYSWIM. It took my (much missed!) DM to say to me "look, if you had a chest infection, you'd take anti-biotics wouldn't you? It would just mean that you had an imbalance in your body chemistry and no one would care. Well, now you have a brain imbalance and you need to take a drug to sort it out. And if you don't tell anyone, then they won't know, and won't judge. And if you do tell them, and they don't support you helping yourself? Then tell them to get lost." And, I'll be honest, I don't tell many people I've used them - no sign saying "I've been on Amytriptyline" but anytime I do, they've always been very supportive and helpful; and often say "Oh, I was on xyz" The side effects do pass too. If they don't go back to your GP, and they'll try something different. Also happy for PM's with questions!

Right, lunch now! Have a nice day y'all!

Swan - I second Maggie and Carpe re the ADs. Stick with them. Personally, I'm not sure how I'd cope with the difficulties of DS1's SNs without them and you are in a similar situation. I rationalised that I needed to be able to cope for the sake of my DC, quite apart from my own sake and my DH, and they mean I am generally a much calmer person.

Although, I do have to admit that I would have needed a lorryload of ADs not to lose my temper with DS1 today.

Good stuff today:

Booked overnight hotel stay for DH and me in a couple of weeks (mum babysitting).

Booked hair appointment for Saturday morning, so I don't have to go to a friend's birthday party with white hairs showing .

Spent 15 minutes on kitchen drawer hotspot

Loaded d/w and put bin out

Bad stuff:

Attempts to answer emails, tidy kitchen, wash up, assemble new shoe storage shelf, do the ironing and generally get on top of the house were constantly thwarted by peoples' comings and goings (DS1, DH coming home from work, MIL arriving for a cup of tea and a chat...) (although, obviously, their presence all comes under 'good stuff' usually ).

DS1 needing almost constant attention to get him to concentrate on work and not to muck around in his online lessons. When he logged off during a lesson - which he should know, by now, means he can't log back in - I really did lose my temper. No good losing my temper with him because then he storms off. Which he did.

The trouble with home ed is that it is entirely down to me to motivate him. At least at school a teacher would only have him for an hour or so and could then send him off to someone else to have a go. Am so exhausted with trying to motivate him to learn stuff he doesn't want to know anyway. The LEA e-learning stuff is so random. Suddenly he's meant to be learning about coastal erosion and he doesn't know or care about coastal erosion. Am not entirely unsympathetic to him on this.

Is it time for yet?

Hi all, have spent the majority of the day out with a friend, this included lunch at pizza hit so the diet went out the window for a meal , I have 15 minutes until I take DD to look around her potential new school so I'll try a catch up!

I could not live in a country with such yummy food on offer sc, I would be the size of a double decker bus within a year! I love your holiday planning ideas too! I need to sit and do mine this weekend now I know the dates I have mindees etc so any ideas are welcome

What a nightmare start to the day you have had swan! No helpful words or advice re AD here but what others have said all seems sensible!

Get well soon to maggies DH!

You were brave having toddlers at your house carpe glad it went well for you!

Definitely time toffee

Ahhhhhh....... blissssssss!!

Had a fairly active morning preparing for visit from friend (plus dc) who came for lunch. Made pizza dough and everyone added own toppings which seemed to go down OK. Can really recommend Nigella dough recipe in 'Domestic Goddess' book; it's the Pizza Casareccia one - min ingreds, always rises, thick crust, never fails. Sad to see everyone head off to their own countries for the summer though ...hard for dd too.

[Just occurred to me that I am quoting Nigella rather too often on here - will be donning one of her total-body-cover-swimsuits soon!! Mind you, she has lost loads of weight recently hasn't she. Must follow in her footsteps ...]

Now just one child left playing with dd and (with one ear cocked towards dd's bedroom) I've got time for a glass of Foad's Pimms and a Mnsnet + five mins to myself.

Swan don't be too horror-struck at my holiday plans - you know over-complicated preparation is my forte - but it's at the implementation stage where it all goes downhill [I refer to earlier diet plans!!] ie I'm all talk and no trousers as dh would say!! Your plans for holidays sound a lot healthier and much more fun!! Arf at your kittens turning off hot water and hope early AD side-effects go away pronto. Lots of wise words on here about taking them -

Blue not at all - need all the advice I can get please!! Those are really good tips - thanks - will stick to sorbet in future (which I love actually). Already opt for fruit tarts over other kinds but didn't realise that about filo - thought it was more fattening for some reason so will look out for it.

[swigs more Pimms and inhales a strawberry] Hope you are surviving end-of-term madness Foad

Maggie your poor dh - that sounds absolutely awful. Don't want to alarm, but has he been tested for pneumonia (no expert but that extreme fatigue - feeling old - sounds very much like it) or perhaps just aftermath of horrid virus? Hope he recovers soon anyway. Glad routines working and hope you enjoyed coffee with friend. 6 mths is such a gorgeous age isn't it?

Carpe¨well done for hosting todders at your place and surviving!!

Right, had better go and make good use of my free time ....

SC I hope that's right about filo now... I read it in a healthy eating book by Lesley Waters. I suppose it depends how much butter there is between the layers though...

xposts

and forgot to say

Hope you are feeling a bit better today Blue and Carpe

Special waves to Elliepac

Toffee having battled over homework with very reluctant dd, I really, really feel for you - not sure I could cope with an entire day/week of it tbh. Would try the patience of a saint I think - even with the most eager of children. Musn't help that subjects are so arbitrary. You would think that on-line learning packages would come with some sort of "support for parents" too. [Not sure what to suggest but crate of at the ready for this evening]

Lauren hope school lives up to expectations and that your dd takes to it!
Are you wanting holiday ideas for mindees (am assuming fairly young)? If so, then this old thread that I keep book-marked might help. Hats off to you for managing dd, mindees + horse! Don't know how you do it!!

Huge wing flaps to everyone else!!

Bound to be healthier thinking about it Blue¨- it's so thin!! As long as not covered in melted honey, butter and nuts aka baklava!!

Yes, SC, you are right - there should be support for parents with the online learning. I hadn't thought of that. The online learning is all so arbitrary: suddenly, DS1 finds himself studying an isolated bit of history (no context for him) or a topic in Geography and he has no idea why he's studying it or what it's got to do with him. Think it might be easier to deregister entirely, but then it'll all be down to me .

Also, SC, thanks for your ideas re holiday planning. You sound very organised! I have already ordered in crafty stuff (got lots of reduced stuff in the sale at Yellow Moon, including a few more games for rainy days) and booked one or two playdates. Also had an inspiration when I realised that a local farm (literally 5 minutes away) which has an adventure playground, also hires out a field for camping, so we could go camping overnight, but if DS1 can't cope we are just round the corner from home . Good hint about the wine, by the way!

I think what I do need to do, though, is have a daily routine and emphasise certain rules to DC, eg. no computer time until the end of the day. Otherwise, they end up nagging me about going on the computer all day.

lauren - glad you've had such a nice day with your friend. Sod the diet!

Just off to walk lovely Border Collie for our neighbour .

Just swooping in the say happy flying everyone. Have been packing all day (and tidying my house so it will be reasonable for when MIL comes to get our post and water our plants )

Off on holiday for 2 weeks so will be back on the board then.

Hope you have a very happy holiday, Engels. It will be lovely for you to come home to a tidy house too .

Wow thank you for the link sc! My holiday mindees are aged 6 and 10 so we tend to do day trips and some crafty things but a lot of those ideas will be excellent for term time crafts for my toddlers!! I've bookmarked!

Thanks SC - there's a bit of a back story to DH though.

He had a stroke about three years ago, he made a good recovery and was back at work fairly quickly (too quickly in retrospect) but found the return to work very hard. Many areas of his work had been taken on by other people, restructuring had taken place in his absence and he felt undermined. It was a very difficult period of time. Then last May he was diagnosed with mouth cancer (he has never smoked and has never been a heavy drinker). He has had a partial glossectomy (removal of part of the tongue) his speech is now almost perfect apart from a slight lisp.

He went back to work after Christmas but after a few weeks it was apparent to all that it was too soon and he was asked to get signed off until May - one year since he left. At Easter he had a complete breakdown. In May he had what we thought was to be a back to work meeting with his line manager and the director. They requested that he stay off sick until he has been assessed by and independant Occupational Health Team. This is scheduled for the end of the month.

Everything hits him really hard now, cold = chest infection for instance, but emotionally too. He's finding it hard to come to terms with how he's been affected in terms of strength and stamina, is fed up with his body, in his words, constantly 'letting him down' and that's just on a day to day basis He's worried too about the OH meeting and what will come of it...

Anyway (sorry for blurt!)

Ta das'
Washing hung out
Tea, cake and baby cuddles done
Library
Tea in oven for DS's
Ironing pile awaiting....

Engels have a lovely holiday and Toffee I can't even bear to imagine what it would be like trying to home ed DS1 - we have melt down over spellings - think I would end up getting sectioned quite rapidly

toffee I think if I ever home ed ds2 which may yet come to pass, I would definitely go down the de-schooling route. I think the key is that ds1 probably needs to move around between "lessons" and even in school they don't sit still for so long. It must be hard for him if he's not getting out, and in a way that would be a natural antidote to on-line lessons, and having to concentrate. Have you thought about just replacing the lessons with doing things - vaguely of educational import. I thought you were doing a brilliant job before covering curriculum Your Way, and perhaps you don't need to do such intense papery stuff together, but just keep him occupied?
P.S. I remember doing coastal erosion (alright it was river erosion) with ds1 when he was off. I made a pretend river bed out of sand and poured water over it to show the effects. He was thrilled, and he is the least hands on person I know. That took us 30 mins, and I think that was his learning for the day, DONE. If ds doesn't like the online lessons they are not going to do him much good are they? When you say it is down to you, yes it is, but you shouldn't be worrying about covering curriculum in a formal manner. A science teacher I know told me they literally go over the curriculum again and again. Anyway it is only two weeks till hols, so I suppose you could see how it goes and then decide. I think you sound much more stressed since the online lessons started, although of course I don't know how much energy the education was taking out of you before and whether the online stuff was a welcome relief.
Please excuse my bossy tone. I spend a lot of time lurking on the home ed boards, and I find it so interesting what Julien etc say. I hate my children's homework assignments and the last straw would be having to do that as well as home edding.

Anyway ds1 has had a boring miserable day at school sports, not participating in a single event, apart from the discus where luckily he came 4th out of 6, so did not entirely disgrace himself.

done
got to library and did two hours of cataloguing, broke the evil enchantment which was preventing me leave the house and showing my face at school
did loads of piano practice and nearly mastered a new piece (I think I said that last time, but it is even better now)
cooked deep fried chicken for children from scratch
took dd to guides
maintained good humour, and calm
rang bank
rang SIL in Eire

Maggie it sounds as if your husband has been heroic in dealing with everything, I am not surprised things hit him hard now, and you must have had to support him all through as well. I hope the OH meeting goes alright.

Now, I must tidy up la la la, and take ds2 for a run. Ds1 is refusing to do anything apart from make lists of his favourite Simpson episodes which seem to be variations of Barack Obama jokes Strong smell of jasmine in the garden and fluffball cat is sitting under a big pot of lilies, sniffing the air, its whiskers quivering.

Diet has gone well today again I seem to have lost interest in snacks entirely. Although two cashew nuts did pass my lips.

Very interested in that John Briffa thread on Mnsnet. I was of the opinion that loads of carbs, and low fat was good, but I see it is a completely different mindset about vital fats etc, and cutting out sugars. It has made me think again about ds1, who always wants protein and refuses potatoes, and pasta, which we try to fill him up with, but that is obviously wrong approach, I see now, and we should be lowering his carb intake, even if it is good healthy carbs rather than cake.

carpe well done on the toddlers. That would be a very big achievement for me when I was mum of toddler. Bet they loved coming to your house.

Swan - thank you - you're not bossy at all, just full of wise advice . You are quite right - I am more stressed since the LEA's online teaching started. It makes DS1 more stressed, which then makes me more stressed. The only advantage it has is that it silences all the family members who keep going on about DS's education and can't imagine that I could provide this for him on my own. However, I think we will call it a day at the end of term and deregister. I keep reminding myself that all DS1 needs is good mental health, a good basic education and enough GCSEs to have choices in what he does next. Oh, and a sane, unstressed mother would help him too!

Have held out on the till now, but it's definitely wine o'clock now...

Oh dear Maggie so sorry to hear that about your dh (although I remember you saying previously that he had gone back to work too soon following ill health). Hadn't realised he'd had quite so much to cope with though - that's quite a number of stressful events to be thrown at you one after the other - must be very tough on you both. Hope the OHT meeting is not too stressful and that you get the things you want from it - plus a bit of support. And please don't apologise for 'blurt' - I feel ashamed for venting so much on here considering what you and Honu and others have on their plates. And so sorry you have had work issues to deal with on top of all the other stuff - don't know how you are coping with it all - including contemplating ironing pile tonight!! [Huge respect emoticon]

Pleasure Lauren

Happy travelling Engels!!! [We siblings always used to roll our eyes at our late ma who used to scrub the house from top to toe x4 before the holidays - because it was always so stressful getting away. But it was always really lovely coming back to a shiny house!!

Toffee it's just that I remember one of my sisters studying for a professional qualification on-line and the whole package came with loads of guidelines and written and on-line support re: how to approach study plus extra resources etc etc plus there was monitoring and 'session' days where you could meet up with other students and 'tutorial' days where you could meet your tutor in rl. Given all that, it seems wierd that you are left to 'swim alone' as it were with your ds's on-line learning. Doesn't seem right somehow.

Swan v. impressed by yr erosion lesson! Easy to forget if you read it in a book but practical hands-on version like that would never be forgotten I imagine!! Well done for overcoming evil enchantment (oh that rings loud, clanging bells with me -) and piano piece!

Remaining child has been fed - paper flowers made - rabbits stroked - and dh is just running her home as I type. Time to prepare bunny bed, clear up and then hopefully a bit of peace ...

Huge waves to everyone!! G'night!

Thanks SC - it is only contemplating mind you!!!

Ugh! Tea was a disaster. I made the MN recipe of the week chicken korma because all eating together is good in lots of ways and DH and I need some variation! For some reason I decided not to provide loads of alternatives, and convinced myself I was psyched up to cope with the boys refusing it... But of course I wasn't and it all got very messy. Sorry to blurt on here, but need to vent and don't want to be flamed by the "like it or lump it" brigade. I just don't know how I'm ever going to get them to try anything new, or carry on cooking them the same few acceptable dishes for ever and ever!!

[tiptoes off to investigate John Briffa thread clean kitchen]

very few scents to beat that of jasmine Swan

Sorry x posts - sounds as if you have exactly the right, sensible attitude to your ds's learning Toffee. I often wrestle myself with possibility that all this current academic stress could have opposite effect and put dd off studying for life. I think family influence/motivation/attitudes is what helps dc most in the end anyway.

[Chinks glasses with Toffee ]

Oh dear Blue - vent away; it's always so disappointing when you have gone to the effort of cooking from scratch - one can't help taking the rejection of your home-made labours personally. Opens crate of

Maggie