Fledglings Fly into July!

[BlueEyeshadow]

Welcome to the July 2012 Fledgling Flyers thread. Park your mops, buckets and microfibre cloths here!!

A huge "thank you" to SanguineChompa for leading us throughout June!!

If your house is a mess and you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and wine along the way.

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's tips on restoring order to our homes, and as we are all at different stages we will be using one of the following methods:

• repeat or start baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

All welcome!!

Apologies for starting the thread so late - it took SC lobbing the duster at me to make me remember it's July tomorrow (and I've blatantly cut and pasted her OP too)!

The first baby step is to shine your sink! See here for the Fat Fairy's tutorial...

No mission because it's Sunday. But here's the flight plan for established flyers

Yes, it's fantastic, SC. I can't believe how much progress he's made since last December, when even leaving the house was too much for him - though I still think catching a bus to a big city on his own was a step too far. His friend is coming over here for a sleepover after the trip.

I'll bet your DD is having a lovely day, SC .

Taking dog for her walkies now .

Toffee I think I would have panicked too. There are so many what-ifs in that expedition!
Yesterday I sent ds1 back from Heathrow airport on his own, with two oysters and a fiver (he was being very quarrellsome with ds2 so I thought it better to despatch him to find his own way on Piccadilly line than have to endure our homeward journey with them hitting each other) So there was me in the taxi home, thinking...omg what have I done...I bet he'll lose the Oysters, (do they have any money on them?), he has no mobile, and he won't know what to do next and it's all my fault!!! Needless to say he turned up 10 mins after us (tubes are faster than taxis) in a excellent mood. I suppose we have to put ourselves through all this to make them independent adults...and he goes to school every day by himself...but still...Next stop a mobile without internet for him. My sister said it would cut down on shouting too, as we could summon him from upstairs by text!

Today I have failed in my mission to get ds1 to be helpful/take exercise. So far he has walked round the block, read a Vampire book for probably 20 mins and then reverted back to Olympics...He claims that later on he will go to park, I forsee a struggle. I think he just wants to be left in peace and not hasselled; difficult though to leave him to veg when he is so unfit. I tried to book him in to some kind of gym course at Health Club but it seems impossible, as they insist you supervise them in gym. And knowing ds, that won't work, he hates parental supervision...

Ds2 and I played tennis and went swimming. He is now doing the "when am I allowed on the telly again?" face.

Dd went to cinema with her friend and is now swimming with her friend...till 3pm.

todo
another cup of tea
empty two holiday handbags on table and sort out hideous mess therein.

SC sounds like you are inspiring dd to play with her horses, not just idly watching telly. Ds1 said to me reproachfully he and ds2 wouldn't argue if I joined them on the sofa for the canoeing..
I watched a Disney film on RTE called Horse in Grey Flannel Suit that was nailbiting enough, I don't think I could watch real dressage, worrying about the horses catching the bar...

Anyway I must return to the fray...Ds2 is at least in very mellow mood now.

Hi everyone. I have had the laziest weekend and start to the week. I better make up for it today!

I'm going to read back and catch up when I allow myself to sit down later. Until then...

Done
Laundry on
Gathered dishes from around the house and filled sink
Paid council tax

To Do
Get me and DS dressed
Make bed
Dishes
15 mins de-clutter in bedroom
15 mins de-clutter in lounge
Dinner
Clear up dinner
Make some time for sewing tonight
Dry laundry
Ironing
Fix DS's school bag
Bed reasonable hour

Ok so FINALLY have ds back. Feeling incredibly stabby. And ds has an attitude on him that if he doesn't shift means I will not be negotiating on some of the things he wants me to.

SC omg I have just read that piece about Tina(I think it was Tina) breaking her neck and walking home holding her head on. Wow, I can see why it was emotional to watch the dressage

Exhausting if ultimately fruitful day. Ds confessed he was fat because he has been buying chocolate bars whenever he gets the chance, taking his pocket money etc, and sometimes two school dinners He broke down and told me he had been buying food secretly to and from school. This was after a screaming tantrum about not wanting to take exercise. I think he was so relieved to confess to all the comfort eating. I feel very upset(although I didn't tell him that) , but relieved too, that he wanted to hide the information (so he obviously knew it was a mistake to eat so much over this last year) and that he just told me everything, as if he had been longing to.

It is very difficult to control someone's eating habits when they are twelve and relatively independent , so we are back to tackling the root cause of wanting to comfort eat...obviously lack of confidence at school and generally And emotional immaturity; he doesn't want to be fat but can't see link with consuming chocolate bars and chips secretly. Also an element of rebelling against adult authority.

So it is a uphill struggle but I am so glad he has admitted to all these secret binges. I can remember behaving like that at 32, but just never at that age, so it is going to take a lot of thinking through, and a very light touch, as the first whiff of trouble he will just start collecting pennies and buying crisps again or raiding the fridge. Even the plainest food can make you fat if you choose to eat it to excess.

Oh dear, better go to bed... So those with fussy toddlers, don't worry, they are probably eating exactly what they need.

Swan - a confession is the first step to ds taking control of the situation. Sooo tough to be on the outside. You can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed.

Can you use something like food focus which you list the food and it actively shows the amount of weight that you gain for all the extra treats, and then how much exercise is needed to burn it off. Perhaps with a challenge to see if he can play around with it to design a menu that would give a theoretical person the right nutrion and calorie intake to be healthy? possibly 2 or three people. One young, one with a gentle paced life and one with an insane paced life? might give him the motivation to do some exercise, whilst showing him the effect in an immediate environment.

[mahoosive horsey digression alert]

Swan sounds ridiculous but I feel completely drained last night after watching it all yesterday! Jumped every jump with them in my head.

Think it is Mary King you are referring to who suffered horrible accident in 2001 (broken neck) but came back to compete as strongly as ever. She is huge inspiration for older women riders as she is 51 now and still hopes to compete in Rio in 2016.

And Tina Cook's horse (Tina Cook is daughter of late Josh Gifford who trained Aldaniti and supported Bob Champion to win National whilst he was undergoing chemotherapy) nearly died earlier in the year (colitis) but came back strongly to compete.

So pheewwwww!! They did brilliantly to get a Silver and although they were gunning for gold the Germans didn't put a foot wrong and thoroughly deserved their win.

*

Swan agree with Witchy that voluntary confession huge step to recognising/admitting problem and overcoming it. Well done to your ds!! I'm talking through my hat as usual as have absolutely no experience whatsover in this area but maybe go down route (if you haven't done this already) of finding him a niche/interest all of his own that will boost his confidence and take his thoughts away from food completely and take the pressure off generally???? (Easier said than done I'm sure). Terriby difficult for you all when something as essential and 'continually present' as food becomes a bone of contention. It's great that he has started to open up to you about it though and your intelligent light touch bound to work wonders!

Will look out for 'Horse in Grey Flannel Suit' btw - thanks for tip!! Thought we owned every single horse related DVD on the planet but obviously not!!

Just realised it is the first of the month so should be on other thread ..

Huge waves to Bitchy and Mrs Onatopp

was just going to say that we are now over here now SC, but i see you have already spotted that. Come play on the new thread!