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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Part 2 of: If tidying your house is your New Year's resolution, Flying with us could be the solution

241 replies

ToffeeWhirl · 20/01/2012 21:52

Welcome to Part 2 of the January Fledgling Flyers' thread. There are a lot of newly dedicated Flyers on Part 1 of the thread - I hope they all find their way over here to Part 2. We are following Flylady's system to get our houses in order, whilst ignoring her twee language.

Flylady's routines aim to help you take control of your home, tidying and decluttering and setting up daily and weekly routines that keep your home looking presentable. On this thread, we motivate each other, chat quite a lot and swap tips on coping with housework and mess.

There are three methods of following Flylady's system, depending on whether you are new to the system or have been following it for a while:

  1. Babysteps
  2. Babysteps + 15 mins daily decluttering in current zone
  3. Babysteps + daily missions

Following the babysteps helps to establish daily routines and build a weekly plan.

If you are overwhelmed by the mess in your home, start with just one thing: your sink. It seems crazy when the mess is piling up everywhere else, but it works.

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slowburner · 24/01/2012 23:25

DH woke this morning and announced he was ill and went back to bed, DD woke up and loped like she had been several rounds with her fists, it seems the cold she has had for a week got worse over night and she had no sign of conjunctivitis when she went to bed last night but was unable to open her eyes this morning. Very frightening for a toddler and not quite what I expected to encounter when she woke up. So spent morning in GP surgery waiting to see the duty doctor.

Got home and DD and I fell asleep for THREE hours, woke up bemused and late for afternoon family tea, hadn't finished the birthday cake, hadn't given DD the ductile etc. But flylady saved the day because the bags were packed last night, the toddler meals were ready in the fridge, the lists were written and the presents were wrapped. I just had to ice the cake and get in the car.

Got home late but:
Loaded dw
Put dry washing away
Washed up a few bits
Reheated dinner
Laid out clothes for DD and I for next 3 days

ToffeeWhirl · 25/01/2012 03:05

Have just woken up after playing musical beds with DSs. Fell asleep at 9, so I suppose I have almost had a full night's sleep, although I will try to go back to bed again later. Wide awake at the moment though.

Came downstairs to find that DH hadn't done the washing up, which means I'll have to do it in the morning (if I do it now it might wake DS, who sleeps above the kitchen, and I'm not risking that). At least, thanks to Swan's paper plates and readymeals idea, there are only a few saucepans. Am meant to be helping DH by doing some work at home, but haven't found the time so far and he is getting anxious about it. Well, coming down to a clean kitchen would be a start Hmm.

Have now got a new medication for DS1, which we'll start tomorrow. He will have to learn how to take tablets, so we'll have a practise with Smarties first. The chemist recommended taking them with a smoothie or yogurt drink. (Anyone else got any tips on helping DC to swallow tablets?). I also persuaded the psychiatrist to write a letter giving DS time off school. She wasn't keen on it - she said he needed to get back asap. I said there was no way he could go back at the moment. Anyhow, she wrote the letter in the end, giving him one week off to give the tablets time to work.

DS2 (6) is now asking me to home educate him after having a horrible day at school. He doesn't have a very good teacher this year and is finding school life difficult. He doesn't have DS1's issues with anxiety, so he generally copes, but today he was very sad about it. I did discuss home ed with DH, but he doesn't want to go down that route. It's not easy getting DC through school, is it? (understatement).

Well, as I have time on my hands for once, I'll do a round up before adding the links....

slowburner is trying to persuade her DD of the benefits of tidy playrooms and night-time sleeping. Poor DD woke up with conjunctivitis. Flylady saved the day after an unexpectedly long daytime nap.

libby is aiming to finish the babysteps, then start on missions and zones (the babysteps establish your routines, then you continue decluttering for 15 minutes a day. You can start missions then or wait until you've completed decluttering in each zone and then start. It is useful to go through the babysteps again now and then to remind yourself of the routines - I have been doing that this month). (And yes, I did see that article in The Guardian, thanks. She did all right for herself in the end, didn't she?! I have just ordered one of her novels).

BlackCat is finding Flying difficult with DC (we sympathise!), but hoping to get more done now DD is at nursery (hope she settles well).

Scatty had a lovely birthday with DH. She is hoping her w/m is fixed cheaply and quickly .

FlyingLugholes rightly reminded BlackCat that we are battling perfection and must all focus on the positive. Her namechange was rumbled by Swan. She has an extra zone to manage - DH's garage (bomb-site zone).

Swan was coping with reception children in the school library, persuading her DS to write a poem about volcanoes, looking after a sick DS1 at home and supervising Mathletics, whilst also cooking some extremely yummy meals. She also fitted in some part-time sleuthing (see above).

Haagendazs is back to Flying after paid work took over and has an impressively long list.

KatyJ26 finds Flying with DH away much easier!

dizzy's DS has a plan and she has been helping him by looking stuff up on the internet. She also fitted in Flying and cooking.

cq has also been sleuthing (glad you got here in the end, cq Wink). She has been going through a trauma with dog and stitches (don't think I can bear to open that thread). Her DD is at home, but only feels sick when school or tidying up are mentioned Hmm.

thewaffler is lamenting the state of DH's garage and shed whilst also extolling the virtues of decluttering (DH obviously not hearing this) and has some questions about control journals and menu planning. (Fire away!)

Back soon with links.

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ToffeeWhirl · 25/01/2012 03:19

Wednesday, 25th January - babystep 25 - read Flylady's personal testimonial. "Keep in mind that you are not ever going to be perfect" (BlackCat - take note!). It took Flylady several months to establish her new habits.

Wednesday is anti-procrastination day - complete the project that's been weighing on your mind (which one? Confused). Today's mission is to dust your bedroom. Today's reminders are here, but please note that the wrong mission is listed on this page (Thursday's).

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thewaffler · 25/01/2012 07:03

Hurrah, a full nights sleep for me for a change, ds (4 m) went from 10 -6, yay! Boobs not aware this was going to happen however, and woke me up anyway. toffee I note you were posting at my normal waking time, at least you went to bed early - well done on putting your foot down and insisting on the note, hope the tablets help - you've got a lot to cope with atm, thank you for finding time for this too.

flyinglugholes I'm getting itchy fingers thinking about our loft! I can do babysteps with that by retrieving an item of crap each time I'm up there. Bomb site garage is a different matter, gardening stuff, outdoor and my never used bikes in the shed, garage purely for dh's 'stuff' so I am supremely unqualified to tackle it, admittedly he's very handy, which is definitely a Good Thing, we've never had to pay anybody to install anything or do any house renovations, which have been ongoing since we moved in - has meant always finding screwdrivers, electrical tape, fuses, paint brushes dotted around house, approach to this is now to gather them up from decluttered areas and put them in a basket. If I find any of these items in pantry or under stairs, will move straight to garage - I went to put a bottle of wd40 which had been in kitchen since Xmas yesterday back in garage and noticed a urinal in there Hmm amongst the boxes of pipes, piles of wood etc.

Happy Wednesday flying everybody - I'm actually out for most of the day, so flying will be limited, will put a load of washing on tho, and s and s, feeling happy that am ahead of myself in zone, dusted yesterday, >commence very rare smug feeling

swanthingafteranother · 25/01/2012 09:56

thewaffler I think our shed is an example of the perils of hoarding. There is so much "useful""might come in handy" stuff in there that you literally can never find a paint brush or screwdriver when you need one. So much so that I've taken to keeping a separate batch of screwdrivers and paintbrushes in kitchen...which makes things even worse. I did declutter the shed several times in last few years, but always convinced that one day we will learn to do our own DIY (which is unlikely, DH and I can hardly mend a bicycle puncture Blush atm)

todo
recycling done
breakfast routine dw/sink/table
beds
hang out laundry
rescue hall
sweep floor
deal with ds1, who is in Limbo of being too miserable for school and too miserable for homework, yet can't go back to school unless he can hand in some of his homework....at least we will get lots of reading done this week Hmm
what's for dinner

WannabeMegMarch · 25/01/2012 11:00

Here you all are- had brain freeze and couldn't find the new thread.

toffee I thought musical beds was a phrase only used in my house! Had it on Monday night (I 'slept' in 3 different places). Then had a day from hell yesterday, car wouldn't start, rescued by AA, failed to re-start in a disc parking area while I was on my way to hospital appointment, late for school pick-ups, garage took 1hr5 minutes to do a 'it'll take 10 minutes' job.

But I came home to a tidy kitchen, clean beds, food in fridge...this thread is a great inspiration...thank you all. For me, the biggest improvement since starting on here has been my insistence to myself on keeping my sink clean and clear at night. It just flows from there out to a clean kitchen. Which allows me to de-clutter in other places etc etc. Can't say I am following flylady to a T but much better than just following 'me' (I would live in slattern heaven Grin)

Jamillalliamilli · 25/01/2012 11:10

Week from hell seems to be aiming for being a fortnight. Person with hoarding probs doesn't see a massive difference between true Havershamesque decay, rat runs between chaos, and a cleaned and reasonably sorted room with everything accessible. Did acknowledge theirs was not a 'normal' house though.
Meantime my drain got overwhelmed, (again!) flooded through, and had to just pile everything everywhere in a hurry to prevent worse damage, and injured myself doing it. It?s rather thrown my routines and am just trying to find the spirit this morning to tackle things and not be knocked of course.

Jamillalliamilli · 25/01/2012 11:13

Off topic post (in case it matters)

Toffee glad you?ve decided to take time out. The pressure on everyone becomes ridiculous and damages everyone and family relationships.
I spent a long time trying to fix my son, before realising regardless of his difficulties, or how much help we did or didn?t get, he could only ever fit into the system by being further damaged, and only ever be a tolerated, person there. He and that system are an ill fit.

Contrary to what the professionals tend to claim, there are not only two roads, one good, one bad, but many different ways of dealing with personal difficulties, ism?s, while getting an education, and reaching adulthood in good shape, able to mix well, and reach one?s maximum potential.

This place could be a very sensible option to consider: www.interhigh.net/ it would give him more control of his environment, while requiring him to continue curriculum based ed, and deal with others. Have seen many do well there, and LEA funding can be obtained. (by the parent)
Can tell you lots about them if wanted, and it would fit with flying. :-D

FlyingLugholes · 25/01/2012 11:48

Morning!

scatty and swan have pm'd you!

toffee thanks for the roundup - fab! Sorry to hear about ds2 - just what you need! Good post from JustGetting and absolutely agree with the different roads to reaching maximum potential.

just sorry to hear things are getting you down. Hoping everything will be sorted and you can get organised again really soon.

thewaffler and swan I suspect most people's sheds and garages are pretty much like ours. Apart from my neighbour's - her's is practically empty Envy But then she is older and has no children at home so I can't really compare our garage to hers can I?

Meg so lovely to hear how well you are doing and what a difference FLYing has made! Makes me Smile Everytime I try to type smile it comes out as snuke. I am beginning to like the word snuke.

At work again today but got all the morning routine done before getting out. Although had a mini meltdown at dd3, who decided to wash her mud-caked wellies in the bathroom sink, after I had swished and swiped it, and just before we had to leave the house Hmm

Had to drop mum off at the solicitor before work. Apparently the will she and dad made 5 years ago was drawn up by a dodgy company, who have written themselves in as executors and now say they can claim a sizeable portion of the house since dad has died Sad Her solicitor is trying to sort it out but says there isn't a lot mum can do as the document is legally binding. She can save her side of the house by changing her will, but dad's will stands, now that he is gone and can't change it.

Feel really sick on her behalf. Not bothered about losing the money on the house personally as don't want it, but feel so bad for mum as she is really worrying. And she doesn't need this so soon after losing dad (he died last month). Do these companies not have any consciences?

And am emotional anyway as totm and it's the period from hell.

Sorry to moan. Will feel better in a few days! Anyway, best get on with the VAT return

ToffeeWhirl · 25/01/2012 14:39

Flying - OMG, that is simply awful about your Dad's will! I can't believe that they can get away with it. Surely if it went to court (not that you or your mum will want that, but it might be necessary) it would be found in your mum's favour because your dad would not have had any reason to leave his share to strangers. Can't believe this happens. I'm so sorry for you and your mum. Absolutely not what you need when you are grieving for his death so recently.

JustGettingOnWithIt - thank you for your off-topic post. Funnily enough, I have known about Interhigh for a while and been looking them up again recently. One reservation I have is that they do IGCSEs and I'm not sure whether DS could cope with the pressure of exams. However, it might be that he could use Interhigh for a while, then go back to school for GCSEs. He might be better able to cope when he's older. How can I get LEA funding though Confused? I will still aim to get DS1 back to school - on a very gradual basis - but if we keep trying and this isn't working, then I will have to consider other options. Luckily, it's half term soon, so he will not have to do much until after that.

You are being brilliant at helping the person with hoarding issues. It is not surprising that she/he can't see the improvement, considering his/her illness, but it must be very demoralising for you. The man on the hoarding documentary couldn't see that he had a psychological problem - thought it was just a storage problem! Would your friend consider counselling? Does he/she admit he/she has a problem even?

Wannabe - sorry about your awful day, but I'm glad you could enjoy coming home to a tidy house. And yes, we have 'musical beds' here too. I don't mind. Am aware that one day the last thing these boys will want is their mum in their beds! And they do make very good hot-water bottles.

Swan - sorry to hear your DS is off sick again. Seems a bit rotten that he has to worry about homework as well. Any chance of an extension as he's been ill?

DS2 surprised me by running into school perfectly happily this morning Confused, so I think he just wanted to get it all off his chest yesterday. He is so different from DS1 in that way. With DS1 it was always worse than just a bad day, whereas with DS2 it was simply that.

Must go and do some work now. Flying is on the back burner again.

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FlyingLugholes · 25/01/2012 14:53

That's what I wondered toffee Surely there must be something she can do to fight it, but the solicitor didn't seem too confident.

Will wait and see what he has to say once he has contacted them.

Must get this flipping vat return done. Can't get my head into it atall... must get OFF mn!

BlackCatTryingToFly · 25/01/2012 16:38

Just popped in to say hi.

Hope you are all o.k. (haven't had chance to read all posts)

I think I may take a temporary break from "Flying".

swanthingafteranother · 25/01/2012 17:39

well, just had an dismal afternoon from hell with everyone screaming.
Ds2 said he had talked to someone else's girlfriend and ^some one else had thumped him on way home (he had run on ahead, and they were lying in wait) these are Yr 5s! Ds1 had a completely hysterical meltdown and said his homework was rubbish, he couldn't do it and everyone at school hated him Sad and dd had a hysterical breakdown about the present for her friend and tried to pick a fight over piano practice.

I suppose I should ring ds1's tutor - I just don't quite know what to say, other than that he doesn't like homework Confused etc and feels low, but I don't know exactly what she can do about that Hmm I feel like I've rung her about once a month about something...or other....Blush

However,
dinner is ready (roast chicken)
ds1 seems chastened by fact he reduced me to tears What can I do to make you smile Mummy...?

and now I have to go and help play dodgeball in Beavers (which I do not feel like doing)

I still don't know whether ds1 is fit to go to school tomorrow or not, and what exactly is going on.

Lugholes I am very sorry to hear about your father and the problems over the will.
MegMarch my favourite film is LW, glad your flying paid off.

FlyingLugholes · 25/01/2012 19:47

Thanks swan Hoping we can get it sorted. Sorry you have had such a pants day. Tomorrow can only get better!

blackcat is everything ok?

ToffeeWhirl · 25/01/2012 20:12

Swan - have a Wine. It sounds like you need it. Sorry you have had such a difficult evening. It sounds a bit as if your children were setting each other off. Can you email DS1's tutor and explain that he's been ill and needs more time for the assignment?

BlackCat - what's up? Please stay on this thread, even if you don't Fly. We are very good at just chatting, you know.

Flying - I really hope the solicitor finds that something can be done. It just sounds too incredible to be true.

BBL.

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BlackCatTryingToFly · 25/01/2012 20:31

Thanks for your kind posts.
I'm o.k. just have a bit of a low Sad mood at the moment. Nothing major has happened, I'm just feeling a little blue.
Didn't want to come on and dampen anyone's enthusiasm for "Flying" etc but might pop in now and again for a chat etc if that's alright.

ToffeeWhirl · 25/01/2012 21:25

Thought chatting was really what we're here for, BlackCat. Flying is just the cover Wink. Hope you are feeling better soon. It's so hard to get things done when you are feeling down. Hope these cheer you up a little -

Still trying to get DS2 to bed. He is wide awake and giggly.

Back in a minute with links...

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ToffeeWhirl · 25/01/2012 21:36

Thursday, 26th January - babystep 26 - check Flylady emails - irrelevant if you have taken our wise advice not to subscribe. Today's babystep also reminds us that it takes a month to establish a new habit.

Thursday is errand day. Today's mission is to put out the hotspots on your bedside tables.

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FlyingLugholes · 25/01/2012 21:45

blackcat do stay around. No flying necessary and it will cheer us just to see you here. Hopefully we can cheer you too

BlackCatTryingToFly · 25/01/2012 21:57

Thank's Toffee and Flying.Smile Will try to pop in tomorrow. I'm off to bed soon.

Jas · 25/01/2012 22:02

BlackCat I agree with the others. No actual FLYing is necessary. Stay and chat, maybe you will find yourself getting little bits done, and if not, then concentrate on looking after yourself, and take the pressure off a bit.

Part time FLYing is happening here. Ineed dp to get a job. Obviously for financial reasons, but I may just kill him if he is under my feet much longer......

Jas · 25/01/2012 22:10

Toffee Just been reading back..... my dc are useless with tablets due to almost never being ill. For some reason, drinking through a straw instead of straight out of a cup to wash down tablets sometimes helps. DD1 at 12 can still only do sugar coated ones though.

swanthingafteranother · 25/01/2012 22:30

Black cat don't really feel as if I have done any Flying today to speak of Wink hope you feel better soon. Contemplating a rescue of playroom but can't actually face it, ditto putting clothes out Blush

Toffee giggly is good Smile

jas I'm now actually relieved that dh is going on business trip, as his micromanaging (You've run out of cereal again, so I've bought you some Hmm It's your fault he hasn't done his homework Hmm is beginning to annoy me. And he switches his phone off just when I need to complain rant talk about something, driving me back to the arms of Mumsnet, honestly...

Ds1 (11)has continued to rant and rave about his life being a disaster all evening, the twins were fine really
Dd went to Brownies
toffee it is not an assignment, it is about 4 small pieces of work. He's done the Volcano poem (very very badly - I made no comment plus or minus) refused to do the art work, screamed for about an hour about writing a quotation and it wasn't his fault that he didn't know what a quotation was etc etc. The problem is that he'll get a whole new batch tomorrow so it doesn't really help to leave it, as it was set last week, therefore doesn't fall into category of homework set whilst ill...Anyway I suppose he has done it now, just so depressingly badly, when it would have taken about 10 mins to do it better....Sad Anyway, who cares. WineWineWine

done
Beavers helping - paper planes and dodgebal
supper washed up
table wiped
uniform washed and hung out to dry
guided reading
piano practice
some homework
Brownies
ds1 bath

dizzyday07 · 25/01/2012 23:07

Flying - you have me worried now as we have our wills stored with a Company who are listed along with our 2 named executors so they can do that process should they not want or are able too. Think I need to check they can't have any of our paltry fortune.

BlackCat - I felt the same as you as week or so ago as RL just squeezed the life out of me. I think all I kept going was shining my sink, getting iniform ready and doing the laundry (washing only no ironing!). I read what everyone was up to and too felt a bit inadequate but am now trying to add more cleaning into my days.

Jas - my DH was out of work for the first 6 months of last year so I know exactly what you mean about them being under foot. DH is now working away during the week as his new job is in Yorkshire and we are in Shropshire so he comes home on Fridays with his dirty laundry and watches sport from the sofa beer in hand at the weekends!

DS has had his CV rewritten by DH so hopefully it will make him more attractive to employers. Despite lying in bed for half the day he is applying for jobs so fingers crossed.

Today I have:

  • Shined sink
  • Washing in and hung up
  • Gathered together a few bits DD needed for Brownies
  • Took DD for he 6 monthly hearing test - she now has normal hearing in her right ear so we are 1/2 way there!
  • Got some shopping in
  • Ironed DD uniform for the rest of the week and even managed a bit of sewing!
ToffeeWhirl · 26/01/2012 00:49

Just off to bed, but had to say to Swan that I very much empathise with the irritation of having a DH who micromanages. DH produced a list of book-listing 'targets' for me today. I have not met my targets, needless to say, and pointed out to him that I was still running the house, doing school runs and had DS1 at home too, not to mention the ongoing liaisons with school and psychiatrists and therapists about DS1's issues. Trouble is, everytime he catches me on the computer he says, "MN again?" and I have to point out that I am emailing school about DS and it's important (as is MN, but he doesn't know that Wink).

Also, Swan, I think your poor DS is just getting too much homework. DS1 has never got anywhere near as much as your son is getting. I do think the children in my DS's special class get fewer homework tasks given to them (partly because they often do them in class as they have fewer children and get more work done), but even so - your son's tasks seem excessive. No wonder he's protesting, poor boy.

BlackCat - glad we will see you tomorrow Smile.

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