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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

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Original poster

Calling all full-time working mums - tell me, how?!

47 replies

Pootles2010 · 26/10/2011 10:02

Seriously, I need to know - is it possible to have a full time job, a baby, a life, and a nice house?

Cannot afford cleaner, btw. I have full time job, but not mega demanding - just 9-5 type stuff, plus 40 min commute either way. I just have the one ds, and he's 15 months, so needs keeping an eye on!

I try to do bits on a week night, but by time i'm in, bathed him, put him to bed, cooked dinner & washed up, I can maybe get a bit of laundry/ironing and tidying done, but no cleaning.

Then on a weekend we're busy - I don't really want to stay in with ds, as he's at nursery all week, I like to take him out places. Oh and for his sat morning nap, I have a 2 hr driving lesson, so thats out.

I booked a few days off last week so i could 'get sorted' whilst he was in nursery - nursery rung me up within 5 minutes of me getting in to say he'd been sick, so had to be off for two days. I am about to give up, please help me!

OP posts:

Georgimama · 26/10/2011 10:06

if you can't afford a cleaner (really not at all - even three hours a week?) then you need to stop seeing the washing/ironing/laundry/tidying as all your job.

I assume you have a partner - do you? - but if you don't lower your standards and install lower wattage light bulbs, you won't see the dirt.

Original poster

Pootles2010 · 26/10/2011 10:10

I really can't - driving lessons & nursery fees are conspiring. I do have a partner, but he's doing open uni at the moment as well as obviously working, so a bit busy. He does his fair share - a lot of cooking, but with regards cleaning needs instructing - he doesn't really 'get' what needs doing.

OP posts:

CMOTdibbler · 26/10/2011 10:12

Three hours a week of a cleaner is what saves my sanity. Oh, and low standards I don't iron anything that isn't a formal cotton shirt - everything like t shirts, shirts etc gets dried on hangers so isn't too crumpled anyway.

And you and your partner need to work as a team - housework and child preparation isn't solely your problem. Tidy as you go, put a load of washing on at a time, and use internet shopping as much as possible

twinklytroll · 26/10/2011 10:14

I work full time my dp works part time around dd, but not much short of ft to be honest.

We wanted to get a cleaner but I feel uncomfortable with the idea and expense. Our house tends to be tidy but it requires us to do chores first thing in the morning, so a half five/five start.

Do you have a partner and what does he do?

Georgimama · 26/10/2011 10:15

Right. So you do have a partner. Housework is not wifework, he doesn't "get" it because it isn't in his interest to get it - at the moment he faffs incompetently and you do it instead. This needs to change.

BikingViking · 26/10/2011 10:15

I don't iron, do a wash every evening, hang out (we have a clothes horse), put in tumble dryer for 10 mins in the morn or when I get home following day and fold and put straight away.

Do a quick tidy each evening - best thing is to have the house / flat organised so that everything has a place - easier to keep on top it then.

Cleaning doesn't take me too long because we only have a smallish flat, dust, vacuum and wash the floors and clean the mirrors / any greasy marks on the windows.

Agree though, if you have a dp then they ought to do their fair share (easier said than done in some cases such as mine, but that's a whole other thread!)

Basically I just try to keep everything so it can be as low maintenance as possible, try to keep clutter to a minimum and keep on top of stuff so things take 5 mins instead of 5 hours (packing toys away etc). Your ds is a bit young, but mine are a bit older and now quite good at trying to help - they like helping to clear the supper table etc.

Ciske · 26/10/2011 10:21

We both work full time and keep on top of the housework as follows:

For the essentials, do little, but often. We both do a about 30-45 mins a day tidying up, sorting laundry, cooking etc. which means we don't live in a complete pit. You can get a lot done in a short time, provided you're focused.
Get a dishwasher and a dryer.
Do 'big cleans' together, on a weekend. Again, 2 hours each should get most of the essentials done. Use baby nap time or take turns looking after the child while the other tidies.
Lower your standards. A lot of stuff doesn't need to be done every week.#
And yes, share it. If your DP is capable of doing university, he is capable of cleaning a toilet and tidying away laundry. It ain't rocket science.

Georgimama · 26/10/2011 10:23

it isn't a whole other thread, it is fundamental to the OP's problem. She cannot cope because she cannot do everything.

BikingViking · 26/10/2011 10:24

Sorry, should have made that clearer - I meant my problems with dh doing bugger all is a whole other thread.

Ciske · 26/10/2011 10:25

Also, remember that 'playing' can take many forms. DD loves playing with the laundry while I sort it, or running around the house to collect abandoned cups to clean, or chat away in the kitchen while we cook. It's not the most efficient way to get through your housework, but it gets stuff done while they still get attention.

Original poster

Pootles2010 · 26/10/2011 10:26

It's really not his fault, he does do the dinner quite a bit, and we do washing up etc together. Well, i guess it's both of our faults.

I am on top of the 'little and often' bit now - am doing load of laundry a day, it's getting put away, and the house is basically organised and tidy, which is great.

Its the actual cleaning bit I struggle to find time for!

We haven't got space or money for a dishwasher or drier.

OP posts:

Bugsy2 · 26/10/2011 10:26

I'm a single mum with two DCs, I work full-time, have no cleaner & have a clean & tidy house. If that is what you want, then you have to get organised & do a little every day. There is simply no other way.

Get your OH to help you do a mega blitz to get you started. Set aside one day of one weekend to crack this. If you haven't got lots of storage to keep things tidy, then get some (doesn't have to be expensive, loads of poundstretcher type places have good storage solutions). With everything tidy, it is then much easier to clean.

I do kitchen & bathrooms ongoing. I don't have a specific day for cleaning them, I just do them as required. I don't have anything on the surfaces, so it takes no time at all to wipe them down. Hoovering is my least favourite job, but once again if the house is tidy, then it is easy to do & you can get quick at it.
Laundry, again little & often. I put mine on overnight & hang it out in the morning before I go to work. I iron essential items in the evening - never spend more than 10 mins doing it. If you do a small bit each day - it doesn't become an unmanageable pile that you dread.
Internet shopping is a god send - you save hours of time getting the supermarket to deliver.
Tell your OH, that unless he helps you, you will be too tired & resentful to ever have sex with him again!!!! [hgrin]

BikingViking · 26/10/2011 10:26

Her dh is relevant to this thread though of course (just felt I could only comment on practical domestic things that I do to try and get through it)

Original poster

Pootles2010 · 26/10/2011 10:27

My ds loves that too Ciske - he finds it hilarious to launch himself headfirst into a pile of sheets...

OP posts:

Original poster

Pootles2010 · 26/10/2011 10:32

Thanks Bugsy. I hope you don't think I'm being ungrateful - I know I have it easy, as only have the one child, etc etc.

I think online shopping may be key - I just need to get organised with it.

Can I ask what you do with your DCs whilst you blitz? I really could do with a day at home, preferably with dp, but without ds, to really crack on, but it's not goign to happen sadly!

OP posts:

PenguinArmy · 26/10/2011 10:36

DD is fine when I'm doing housework. She 'helps' by turning hoover on, passing me things. I find her watching me tends to keep her entertained enough (but I do flit between different rooms and jobs)

Bugsy2 · 26/10/2011 10:40

Have you got anyone who could have DS even for a couple of hours one Saturday morning, so that you & DH could do a mega blitz? Friend, parent, childminder, babysitter?
When my DCs were little, I would clean the bathroom while they were in the bath, clean the kitchen while they were pinned safely in their high chairs eating their dinner etc. Hoovering I would do around them. So just move them from room to room with me - or do it while they were asleep. Ironing I've always done in the evening even before kids - not sure why, so I did that when they were asleep.
Online shopping is an absolute lifesaver in my opinion. So easy & saves an hour and a half of my time.

Original poster

Pootles2010 · 26/10/2011 10:46

Sadly no, can't afford babysitter, and only family is mil who will have him now and again, but i already ask her about once a month or so, when we go out for dinner or whatever, and i think she begrudges that tbh.

I know if i asked her just whilst i clean the house what she'd say!

I think that about cleaning kitchen whilst he's having his tea, and bathroom during bathtime is a good one - I will try that, thank you!

OP posts:

Bugsy2 · 26/10/2011 10:52

Ok, so do a room at a time. My top, top, top tip would be the tidy thing. If you are a bit skint, then get the cardboard stacking fruit boxes that alot of supermarkets leave at the back of the tills for people to use instead of bags. They are fantastic & you can put all sorts of shit in them & just stack them up. If you are that way inclined you can paint them or put stickers on them (get DS to help) and they don't even look that bad. I used to use them for the DC's toys and my own shoes. I use the really big ones for under-bed storage too.

Georgimama · 26/10/2011 11:12

Agree a house needs to be tidy to be clean, and even if it isn't all that clean it will look a lot better if it is tidy anyway. Ruthlessly declutter, take stuff to charity shops. Find a place for everything that remains to live. Get more storage (ikea expedit unit is about £20 at the moment and you can get baskets to fit into it - ideal for toy storage).

Original poster

Pootles2010 · 26/10/2011 11:15

It really is quite tidy, i've been working on that. It's the actual cleaning I struggle with!

OP posts:

Astronaut79 · 26/10/2011 11:24

WE can't afford a cleaner either, not sure how people can if they pay them properly. Saturday morning, maximum 2 hours. One of you do upstairs, one downstairs. What doesn't get done, doesn't get done. Just make sure the kitchen and bathroom are right. Oh,and the living room if anyone's coming round.

WE also split the ongoing tasks: I'm in charge of washing clothes/putting away and, let's be honest, organising (Dh once referred to me as his Windows outlook [hangry]. Dh does cooking and washing up. Ironing is shared, as is hoovering.

I hate, hate, hate cleaning with a passion.

Georgimama · 26/10/2011 11:26

I pay my cleaner the rate she demands astronaut, which is £10 per hour. I don't know what you mean by "properly".

BertieBotts · 26/10/2011 11:29

Try dividing up the rooms with DP? Then tell him if he doesn't know how to do something he will have to look it up on the internet. I'm domestically challenged a slattern and I do this quite a lot google "How to clean a floor" or whatever.

Original poster

Pootles2010 · 26/10/2011 11:29

I'm sure you do Georgi but there are plenty of stories about of domestic workers brought in from overseas being treated practically as slaves.

I suppose theoretically we should be able to after I finish learning to drive - I pay about £50 a week for lessons at the moment, which would buy me five hours of someone else doing my cleaning - bliss!

OP posts:

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