Back to Fly school for September Fledglings

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Welcome to the September 2011 Fledgling Flying thread! Hang up your microfibre cloths and park your buckets here!!

[Sorry - I've namechanged again - but remain SC]

This is where from the 1st of the month, we attempt to declutter and follow the 30-step wisdom of Flylady (minus cutesy language and a surfeit of e-mails) with lots of chat and support and mutual motivation along the way. (More info available here )

Humungous thanks to our previous thread leader Blue for navigating us all through the August school holidays...and for doing it so consistently and well!!

As usual we will be following a three-pronged approach - and don't worry - we are all at different stages. Some of us (SC stares at feet) -are even embarrassingly stuck at decluttering stage after two years

• repeat or start baby steps (again!)

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

or

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

All newcomers welcome!

Toffee my DD came home with an amazing planner from her school today, if she forgets homework again it certainly won't be anyone's fault but her own!

PA how exciting! And happy birthday

Our plans for tonight went out the window as I had written a meeting in the wrong week of my diary, tonight's dinner ended up a very quick pasta dish before I dashed out the door. Dh decided it would be better to bring DD and join me (the meeting was in a private room in a pub) so lucky me, I had the washing up to look forward to when I got home. I spent the meeting listening to mind-numbing facts and figures, and Dh got to drink beer and watch DD play on the climbing frame.

We did find out that our Firewalk last week is likely to have raised over £3000 for our charity, so I am well pleased. My feet are pleased they don't have to do it again!

OK. Round-up time!!

PA has been celebrating her birthday (whey-hey) and announcing huge life-changing future plans (treble whey-hey!!!!) Amazing stuff indeed! Good luck for next Thursday - we will all be thinking of you.
Toffee has been celebrating her ds's new found confidence and independence and has been keeping up with her Fly routines (to the extent that others are commenting favourably) and has updated her cj!! Top marks!!
Ouch and her ds have had a testing day but she hasn't burnt out (well done) and is all organised for the morning. G'night!
Rowingboat has been enduring fall-out from a disorganised boss (sympathies) perhaps you could introduce her to Flylady system? Sounds like she needs it! Up to you but I would strongly recommending sticking with baby steps (morning, afternoon and before bed routines evolve from them) and the general idea is that major tasks are tackled in the same way (ie broken down in to small discrete steps and incorporated in to daily routines). See 'how to declutter' in Friday links! That's the theory anyway!!
Haunted has shined her sink, mended some trousers and opted for an early night.
Whoknows has had a tough day following her ds's diagnosis but is encouraged by the experiences of other Fledglings on this thread
Swan has been cooking for England, refereeing strawberry counts, sorting sock drawers, and welcoming her ds home at the expected hour! (And welcoming her dh home at a somewhat later hour with an array of delicious dinners!)

Blue has worked her way through a sturdy list and exchanged e-mails about a monkey
Nettle has had a challenging day balancing a multitude of tasks in the absence of her dh and deserves an early night and several
Madwoman has been pondering space-saving options to alleviate organisational crisis (Agree with Swan that (a) decluttering in general (b) storing left-over essential stuff in garage (perhaps erect "false" open roof type storage thingy) looks like best bet.) My sister has created tiny office in what used to be airing cupboard on her landing and it functions fairly well.
Messy has flown well despite her family being ill
Oops has plunged back in to the work and school routine and has been spoiling her cat
SC has been caught short by realities of returning to school/work. Has had a bit of work crisis which looks like will continue tomorrow because dd off school ill.

Waves to Ellie Fuzzled Feetheart Nicknacks MissJ Linzer and Silvery and any others I'm afraid I am bound to have missed! Sorry, all scrolled out G'night!

x-posts

Sorry you had a stressful evening oops but congratulations on raising over £3000 - that's amazingingly well done!

for those of you who i have on fb, I have come off fb for a bit. need sometime to clear my head. RL needs some attention.

Just checking in before bed. Fell asleep earlier, but was woken up by wired-up DS1 so now I'm wide awake again.

WhoKnows - I really feel for you. It's good to have the diagnosis in that it means you and others can learn how best to deal with your son and it should help you obtain a statement for him should he need one, but I know how heartbreaking it feels. Like you, I didn't want to read anything about my son's condition when he was diagnosed. This is so unlike me, but I think I just needed time to come to terms with it. When you do feel ready to find out more, the NAS do good leaflets/booklets and I think they have one for parents whose child has just been diagnosed.

And I agree with Swan - getting an early diagnosis doesn't mean your child is more severely affected, it simply means you have been lucky enough to be seen by someone who knows what they're doing.

PA - that is such exciting news! What an amazing thing to do. I hope your children react positively to the news this evening.

rowingboat - your boss is rubbish! No wonder you are furious with him/her. Is there any way you can let people know that none of it was your fault. It doesn't seem fair for you to take the blame. Grr.

SC - thanks for that impressive round-up. It's a real help to have a summary of this busy thread.

DS texted me from his new friend's house this evening because he was panicking and wanted to come home early. However, this was at the end of a very long day at school and going out with his new friends, so I think he did amazingly well. He is worried because his new friend has asked him to come out on a trip with him and his mum one day, but DS said to me that he just can't do it. However, he doesn't want anyone in the new school to know his issues, so I will just have to make excuses for him.

He said that, on a scale of 1 to 10 of anxiety (with 10 the most anxious), school is a 4 so far (apart from the CAT tests which pushed it up to an 8). Not too bad then, surprisingly.

Tomorrow's list:

Morning routine
Check 'get ready for school' list
School run
Errands - PO, library, buy parking permit
Phone dentist
Laundry mountain - iron, put away
School run
Afternoon routines
Dinner - chicken
Before-bed routines
Family film for DS1 and us (popcorn etc)

This feels like the longest week ever. I'm so relieved it's nearly the weekend.

TFI Friday. As you were .

Thank you for all your good wishes. Yes very exciting. Reactions of DCs were quite extreme and amusing at the same time.
DD1 - silent, thoughtful and then came back to ask lots of questions.
DD2 - total shock, then at 10pm last night announced that she will seriously look into coming with us and working with us after her gap year!
DD3 - burst into tears, worried about finances as she thought she would be left to pay all the bills and the mortgage etc. Reassured her and she now seems ok about it. DD1 and DD3 have already asked if they can convert DSs bedroom into a walk-in wardrobe for them!!
DS - jumping up and down with joy and excitement. Only words I ahve got out of him this morning have been "i Cant wait!"
DD4 - very excited, loads of questions and also cant wait.

We had been worried more about uprooting DS and DD4, less concerned about leaving 3 "adults" in their home where they have independence without financial worries of their own place. - all upside down!! Oh well!!!

Toffee your DS1 has done so well. Of course some things will send him into a spin. Its great that he has made a good friend so quickly. Perhaps a little word with the mum may smooth over any "rejections" he may feel he has to give.

I have read through your posts and have got all my names confused, so please accept a and a wave to all you lovely lot!!

Last night DH had an arse moment and I had a "slight" disagreement!! !!!! This meant that I was awake at 5.30 this morning with steam coming out my ears! Up side of this is that I have discovered that there is a bottom to my ironing basket! YAY!! Anger makes me iron! Perhaps I should not be so laid back most of the time!

Oh cant even get my head around a list for today.
I will have swishy hair as I am going to have it cut today. (was just a model last night for DD3, today I go for a "proper" appointment)
Plan to take DD1 & DD3 out for a lovely coffee and bun somewhere nice this afternoon.

Have to dash DS wants computer to look up a language site!! Oh no, I can see he will be learning all way too inappropriate sayings for a missionary kid!! Holiday was one thing, with his array of chat up lines and ordering 12 beers in Greek!
HAve a good day everyone. Weekend is nearly here, Ellie.

Thanks for taking on this month SC and a just for you!

Good Morning everyone.

whoknows I'm sure its a difficut one to get your head around but it is great that he has been diagnosed and hopefully that should help him in lots of way. May give you some tools to deal with it when and if he has problems in the future. swan sounds like she has some good insight into how you are feeling. My friends son was diagnosed in February at 5yrs but she has been keeping it to herself for such for a long time and still hasnt told some of her friends about it. Is suppose you have to judge how ds and you are.
rowingboat at rubbish think about noone boss
swan thanks. Loving your dh mentality im a bit too goodie too shoes for that! They might put me in prison lol
toffee your ds is doing brilliant. I also think its fantastic that he can discuss his feeling with you so frankly.
ellie loving it.

my list
dw-on
wm-on
td-on
table wiped

still to
sweep and mop floor
tidy dc rooms and hoover
change dc beds
tidy up some hotspots throughout
buy a card to replace the one i wasted.
Work lots of it
nursery and school drop.

not neccessarily in that order. Better get moving for nursery drop off.

have a lovely day everyone.

This morning Ellie I am with you. TFI Friday!

Seriously going to have to consider how things work. Ds is so tired he is in tears this morning. to balance training and school is going to be tricky. he loves training, he needs to go to school. Bugger.

hi all
hope everyone is well, a sick dp and "sick" dd do not a good flying day make!
Oh well, onwards and upwards :)

Ta da list from yesterday
dishwasher
washing machine 2 loads and tumble drier on
kitchen cleaned
cleaned kitchen press out after incident with chocolate sauce
tidy toys
hotspots of microwave and washing machine
uniform sorted
homework done
GP appt booked for dp

So today
Dishwasher (empty and reload)
Washing- tumble dry some from yesterday
swish and swipe
Collect prescription
collect post from depot
tidy coffee table
change bed sheets
hoover hall, sitting room and kitchen
empty bathroom bins
tidy dd1s room, she is never going to actually do it with out getting distracted by barbies
find anbesol that dd1 lost this morning

PA that is so exciting! My friends are all going off to SA next year for something similar, and are really looking forward to it. Am envious of your adventurous side :)
Toffee that's great that your ds is doing so well with school. A few years ago I worked in the in and out patient adolescents unit and found back to school time soooo stressful for the kids, and we used to have to do huge amounts of exposure work and other techniques with them to reduce their anxiety, but sounds like your ds is managing really well by himself.
Oops £3000! Well done you!
Rowing Sorry about your crap boss
Whoknows Have no advice about ds diagnosis, but sounds like you are getting some good advice :)

Waves to everyone else

Morning lovely fledglings one and all

Hear, hear Ellie! Think it has been a tough week for most on here.

Your poor ds Ouch - hope you find a solution!

Good luck today Nettle hope you have a better one than yesterday

You too Whoknows hope you are able to get a bit of peace and quiet today to get your head around it all

Crikey PA you don't do things by halves do you???!!!! Would loved to have been a fly on your dining room wall yesterday. Your dd3's reaction made me . A good sign though that she is thinking in such a responsible way!!

Toffee there are bound to be the odd hiccups along the way but, as you say, your ds is doing amazingly well! If it's any consolation dd (aged 8 yrs) gets nervous about trips away from home sometimes ... and has only just agreed this past summer to a sleepover ...

Had to collect dd early from school yesterday as she was unwell and so she is at home with me today. Which means I can't really get much work done (bum) which in turn means I have to do some Flying instead (double bum) .

To do:
Laundry, laundry, laundry (partic. school uniform)
Tidy kitchen
Clear dining room table hot-spots
Tidy hall and landings
Tidy play room
Tidy boudoir
Tidy bathroom
Doc appt with dd
Supermarket shop if dh can baby-sit

Feel utterly uninspired but heigh ho and all that ...

Waves to Messy

Sorry your dp and dd still under the weather.

Your list looks similar to mine.

OK - shall we step away from the screen - set the timer for 15 mins ... and ...

.... have a coffee .... go!

hello fellow flyers - did thursday fly thread yesterday and got loads done.

Have MIL coming SUnday, so need to fly....

Heres the list:

Kitchen

DW empty and refill
WM empty and refill, hang up washing...somewhere.
Clear away breakfast clutter

then...

dining table declutter
lounge urgent rescue!
ANd I might even get around to doing the ironing later too!

3-2-1....

Sorry to hear about poorly DDs and DHs SC and Messy*.

Right todays list

Ta-Da
Take car for MOT - passed, will pick it up when DH gets home
Morning routine
Shred
School run
Fix DS's scooter - a bolt had come out, luckily I have never got round to decluttering the box full of random screws, bolts etc as I found one that was a perfect fit
2nd lot of washing on

ToDo

Go for a run
Shower and change
A few hotspots
Mission
School gardening club at 12
Shopping
School run plus staying to sell the harvested veg
Party at the tennis club
Home
Unexpected guest arriving for the weekend, luckily very undemanding of tidy house but do need to get the spare bed cleared, it is being used as a holding point for decluttered stuff at the moment, trouble is without a car I can't take it all anywhere.
Evening routine, including put away Ocado order expected around 7.

Morning all

New school week and too many after school activities for DD and school visits for me weans I have been a poor flyer this week.

Whoknows I have no advice re DS but I'm sure having an official diagnosis will make it easier to get any help needed.
Rowing your boss sounds rubbish. Hope today is better for you.
PA I actually have no idea what 'missionary' work is but it sounds exciting so good luck with it. Very brave and exciting to make such a change.
Toffee Your son has done really well this week and you must be so proud and relieved about it. It is great that he is honest with you about how he is feeling so that you can deal with these things together.
Ellie I also agree with TFI Friday. What a week. Never mind DD I'm exhausted. Its quite a shock to the system after having 6 weeks of getting up and doing what you want.
Hello to anyone I have missed.

Well busy day today. I am off to visit two schools who are advertising for teachers to see what they are like. Also visited one yesterday which turned out nothing like I expected. I must do some flying as well though as house is looking severly neglected.

To Do list

• Washing - At least two loads
• Visit schools - Will be my first yeast free out and about lunch [Confused] I'm finding it hard enough at home.
• Pick DD up from GP who are picking up from school
• Post office
• Hoover downstairs
• Kitchen paperwork hotspot
• Meatballs for tea and didn't make them earlier in the week
• Buy birthday present for DD friends birthday party tomorrow
• Tidy bedroom windowsill hotspot

That will do for now. Have a good day everyone

Morning everyone! I agree, TFI Friday. First week of school is always a bit .

Today's list:
Put all clean washing away
Dust living room
Mop kitchen floor
Sort budget for the month
Tidy laundry room
Hit hallway Hotspot
Update calendar with school/volunteer dates
Catch up with last week's Torchwood
Weed the driveway.

Several carried over from yesterday evening when I had to go out and throw my plans out the window!

I also need to ring my friend and see how her DS2 is doing on his first few days at high school, I have meant to do it for the past 2 days .

Does anyone know an effective long-term weedkiller? Our front drive is gravel and over the summer it has turned into a real eyesore. DH was going to spray weedkiller but then it would just be a wilted brown eyesore, so I'm going to pull the bigger weeds first and then he can spray the grass.

(nearly) lunch-time (over here anyway) update ...

Laundry, laundry, laundry (partic. school uniform) - started
Tidy kitchen done
Clear dining room table hot-spots hurray! done
Tidy hall and landings done hall
Tidy play room done
Tidy boudoir
Tidy bathroomdone
Doc appt with dd
Supermarket shop if dh can baby-sit

Have also covered another of dd's text books

Does anyone have any idea about how to clean wicker please?

Oops I think you need a systemic weed-killer such as 'Round-up' here. It goes right down the plant and kills it at the root so you don't get it growing again. It also, cleverly, stays specific to that plant, so you don't get contamination in to other plants in the area. Best to cover eyes, wear gloves, and paint on each individual plant with a brush. Keep pets/dc away for at least 24 hrs but could be longer - check on bottle.

MC good luck with your school visits

Whoknows well done re: the scooter mechanics and good luck with your list!

Hi Hatti are you a newcomer (or should I recognise you?) Sorry - brain befuddled. A warm welcome anyway! Good luck with mil prep!

Better get back to it ...

Well, today didn't go quite so well for DS, but I have learnt a lesson: no socialising on school nights. He couldn't settle to sleep till late last night, then was tired and weepy this morning. He rang me on his way to school to say that he felt sick and had to come home. I told him he had to go to school anyway and they would deal with it (tough love!). He was so angry with me that he switched his phone off and I spent the next hour wondering if he had gone to school or was just wandering round town. I rang his school as soon as I arrived back from the school run and he was there. But 15 minutes later, I had a call asking me to come and pick him up as he was feeling unwell. He looked pale and fragile when I arrived to get him. He was so sorry that he was spoiling his good record by leaving early, but cheered up when I told him that he'd actually done brilliantly this week.

He's at home with me now, relaxing. He needs early nights, lie-ins and lots of free time this weekend.

As a result, today's list has been shelved. Will have to transfer it to Monday instead.

By the way, he watched Alien 3 when he went to his friend's house last night. He and his friend are 11! He thought it was cool and keeps telling me he wasn't scared at all, but it's really not the sort of film I want him watching. However, I don't want to stop him visiting his new friend. Anyone got any advice? All I can think of, so far, is discussing the issue with DS and trying to get him to refuse to watch films like that, which is not going to work because he likes them! This is a whole new aspect of parenting that I haven't had to deal with until now.

Hope you all have a productive day.

Whoknows I was thinking about a lot about your situation on bus today.
The long and short of it is that ALL children take up an inordinate amount of our time and emotional energy, and ASD diagnosis is just one of many things that make parenting v hard. It could be cash, it could be illness, it could be family situation. THERE's ALWAYS SOMETHING. I think to myself, O, if only Ds2 didn't do x y z my life would be easy (his life would be easy too) but on the other hand who is to say whether there might be something else that was challenging us all.
Anyway it is hard, just protecting them all the time from the world, and getting frustrated by their behaviour. It makes me knotted up with tension sometimes when other children are shunning him for spitting and licking or shouting, and then he is just soo utterly lovely, so interesting and cuddly too, talks so wisely and sensibly or is so absorbed in what interests him that Dh and I agree he is the most charming child ever. So...life continues.
I'm looking forward, but in a way not looking forward to, this parenting of ASD children group. The thought of another health professional just makes my head hurt. (sorry any health professionals out there

Back from hospital, cast off, physio appt made
Ds1 very reluctant to MISS school this morning (luckily mostly a CAT test)

Toffee it's been an exhausting week, roller coaster of emotions and all that. Ds still hasn't made any proper friends or gone to anyone's house or even met up with people, but seems to be having a lovely time and he loves his homework/timetable planner He initially said his "friends" were Humphrey and Marcus (very posh names???) now admits they are called Hugo and Demetri and he just made the other names up for fun If I hang around with him for a long time, he tells me incidental details about school but otherwise I have to be careful not to grill him.

Toffee I just tell ds1 he's not allowed to watch a 15. Then at least he can choose to disobey me, but he knows he did the wrong thing and I warned him. A bit like the sweets. I've now told him,no sweets, no sweet/emergency money, and I'll supply him with flapjack/bun and water instead. Sweets on Sat only after Sat Music if I'm supervising. But that's partly because of weight problems, which I know your ds isn't suffering from.

SC we used to just scrub wicker chairs with soap and hot water outside, rinse and let them dry - well that was what my mum did, but our chairs were not very grand. They certainly didn't dissolve. A fun job for children!

P>S> Toffee I think it was brilliant that you reinforced the message that he has to try his best to GO to school first thing, even if he needs to leave later on. I think often just getting there is the hardest part, if you are not in that frame of mind, it seems so much easier to stay at home where one's safe.
He sounds so thoughtful to his new friend that he doesn't want to disappoint him, I think it's alright to say you don't want to do x and y because you have another plan. I still feel anxious at 46 if people make those sort of exciting "trip" plans even I have known them for ages..I start worrying straightaway

must press on now..Sink calling.

Afternoon all!

No flying today because the builders are in! And we've got people coming for dinner this evening!! It'll be fine. They're good friends and very understanding. And the builders say they'll be gone by 4. It'll be fine. Honest.

So this morning we've done school-shoe-shopping - the upside of the builders being here is that we were all up and dressed and out of the house by 8.45 ready for the shop to open at 9. No queues, no stress. Also got a few bits for dinner and then had lunch at a friend's café. DS2 is now asleep despite all the thumping and DH and DS1 are playing on the Wii.

This afternoon is more keeping out of the way of the builders and then cleaning the kitchen ready for the evening...

Waves to all. BBL.

List update

Up done
school run done
Laundry - general first load on
Wash ds' bedding pillows done
pack ds' stuff
tackle my room
make pack up for tea
school run
drop ds off with his dad
Sleep good few hours to shift migraine slept and headache much better

Right must fly to get everything else done. catch up much later.

Thanks for your advice, Swan. I suppose telling DS what I think he should be allowed to do is all I can do now. In fact, he's absolutely fine about watching Aliens 3 and not in the slightest bit affected by it (whereas I would be upset even now). He says he knows it's all acting and none of it's real.

DH thinks we should allow him to watch (slightly) scary/thrilling films with us, so that he gets the thrill of it at home, rather than go looking for it elsewhere. It's odd, isn't it, that such an anxious child loves scary films so much?

DS told me that one of the reasons he likes watching these films is to 'show off' to his peers. It gives you kudos, apparently.

I'm so relieved it's the end of the week. This really was the longest week ever. No school run tomorrow - hurray!

Hope you all have a nice Friday evening. Anyone following Flylady's dictum and having a 'date night'? My 'date night' will consist of DH, DS1 and I eating popcorn and watching a film.