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Housekeeping

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Original poster

Why don't my children use their playroom?

30 replies

CourseyoucanMalcolm · 24/03/2011 18:13

Children are 3 and 5.

In our last house we had a tiny playroom and they used it ALL the time.

The new house has a much bigger playroom. It just doesn't work. I'm not sure why.

Please help me work out what to change. I want them to love it and use it.

OP posts:

mrsravelstein · 24/03/2011 18:14

oh no! we are just in process of buying a house with a very big playroom! don't say i am still going to be tripping over lego every evening as i make supper....

lovecorrie · 24/03/2011 18:15

We put all the toys we possibly could into ours and have pretty much banned toys from the other downstairs rooms, also made it really child friendly, nice table for drawing and working on, pictures up etc. Ours love it and use it all the time!

MerylStrop · 24/03/2011 18:18

Perhaps because they want to be WITH you. Mine do. All the bleeding time. Never mind, it will come into its own when they are teenagers.

BertieBotts · 24/03/2011 18:18

Is it too far away from what you are doing in the rest of the house? Maybe they want to hear what you are doing and just know that they can run in and out etc (even if they did not usually do this, perhaps the knowledge is enough?)

ChasingSquirrels · 24/03/2011 18:18

where is it in relation to the other rooms in the house (and where was the one in the old house). Does thinking about that go some way to answering your question?

lovecorrie · 24/03/2011 18:19

Ours is at the back of the house but near enought to see and hear them, it's just lovley to be able to shut the door on the mess at night!!

Lotkinsgonecurly · 24/03/2011 18:23

We've had a playroom in this house for the last 3 years and are in the process of extending so they'll have a bigger playroom. But, it has taken a good 2 years for them to play in there and they like it in there now there are less toys in there so they can see what toys there are. Also it seems to work better now they are a bit older. Nearly 7 and 4.

Driftwood999 · 24/03/2011 18:38

MerylStrop - I agree that it could be because the children want to be around "the caregiver". Please note I am choosing my words carefully! A playpen is ideal for babies but when they get a little more socialiable they seek interaction, that is how they learn new skills. I would be interested to read any research on the long term outcome for children that have been encouraged to play at "arms length". Some play is best suited to a confined area and other play is best "scaffolded" with free interaction. I do think it is really important that children can play happily and imaginatively on their own, but depending on their age and development that has limits. I think playrooms are a great idea but need to be used wisely.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 24/03/2011 18:38

This happened to my friend, in her old house she could be in the kitchen and could see and talk to the DCs through the doors of the two rooms. Moved to a house with an upstairs playroom which was vastly bigger and the DCs just wouldn't use it unless she was in there too, they kept bringing all the toys down. She has moved her computer and desk in there so she can be in there with them but doing her own stuff and it has helped considerably.

Original poster

CourseyoucanMalcolm · 24/03/2011 18:40

Well, it is not quite as close as the old one but I think it's still a part of the main living area.

I think I just haven't set it up right.

You walk in and the walls are lined with shelves of toys, but nothing is accessible.

Dh and I are going to have a big go at making it nice tomorrow. All ideas appreciated.

(And Amen to shutting the door on the mess at the end of the day!)

OP posts:

Original poster

CourseyoucanMalcolm · 24/03/2011 18:46

X posted a bit. It's definitely not upstairs or out of the way. They can see me from in there. And I'm not into 'arms length parenting' at all. I just want my children to enjoy their new playroom as much as they did their old one.

I was thinking of maybe making a den in their, or a tent or something. Or splitting up the space with shelving? Or making an art corner, a car corner, a kitchen corner... that sort of thing?

It is a lovely light, sunny room.

I think getting rid of some toys is an excellent suggestion. There is just too much there at the moment.

OP posts:

Original poster

CourseyoucanMalcolm · 24/03/2011 18:47

"Den in their there"

OP posts:

lovecorrie · 24/03/2011 18:56

We have one of these storage which is really handy, and everything is pretty accesible. Also a couple of bookcases and low level stuff. I'm still quite excited about it as we've only had it for a while!

Driftwood999 · 24/03/2011 18:57

If there is too much in there at the moment your DC's might be feeling overwhelmed. Choice is a double edged sword. Don't feel that you have to satisfy all their (as yet unrealised) desires all at once. I like the idea of having a working area for "the caregiver". I appreciated the concept of "closing the door" at the end of the day.

BooyHoo · 24/03/2011 18:57

if it's anything like mine then it's because thay cant actually get into it.

TubbyDuffs · 24/03/2011 19:00

With BooyHoo, ours is such a bloody mess that the kids can't actually play in it! Have it on my list of rooms to declutter/sort out, but keep shutting the door and forgetting about it!

Original poster

CourseyoucanMalcolm · 24/03/2011 19:01

Why is everyone talking very carefully about "the caregiver"?

OP posts:

MerylStrop · 24/03/2011 19:08

Driftwood - I'm sorry, what was all that about a playpen?

We don't actually have a playroom. If I did we doubt it would get used much. I was just suggesting a possible reason to the OP for non playroom-usage.

Original poster

CourseyoucanMalcolm · 24/03/2011 19:15

Sorry, not everyone now I have re-read. Just the same person twice.

Driftwood, I think you are tactfully trying to suggest that I shouldn't lock my children in their dungeon playroom for 14 hours a day while I lie on the sofa drinking gin, yes? Well fret not, my utterly adored children have the attention of their "caregiver" (that's me) (and no need for the inverted commas - I really do "give" them "care") for most of the 24 hours in the day :).

OP posts:

Lotkinsgonecurly · 24/03/2011 19:19

We've got beanbags on the floor and books on low shelves. Also have chucked away / recycled and charity shopped lots of old games and things that wern't being played with.

BooyHoo · 24/03/2011 19:22

"Have it on my list of rooms to declutter/sort out, but keep shutting the door and forgetting about it!"

same here except i just shut the door and hope the dcs forget about it!

Driftwood999 · 24/03/2011 19:31

I used the term caregiver rather than you or mum because people can be so easily offended. Others have used inverted commas. I have not criticised your parenting. MerylStrop The reference to a playpen was to illustrate that children grow out of it and need to socialise.

Original poster

CourseyoucanMalcolm · 24/03/2011 19:42

Beanbags. That's a good idea.

OP posts:

kbaby · 24/03/2011 23:31

I have one which is next to my living room and the dc's dont play in there that much but drag the toys out. I dont mind so much as at least it means I have a room to put all the toys into at the end of the day. I have found that since we bought some lovely storage units they dont seem to play with any of the toys any more. I think its because its a bit too tidy and they cant be bothered to open doors to get their toys out.

Im sure as they get older they will want to spend less time with me and more time on computers or playing in there out of my prying eyes:)

Does your room have wooden floor because mine pefer playing on the rugs in the living room. Is there a comfy seating area and somewhere to draw etc.

DioneTheDiabolist · 24/03/2011 23:38

If you have just moved house then they will be feeling a bit unsure and insecure. Try playing with them in the playroom, then leave them and come back. Then do it again. And again. And again.

A new house is a big upheaval for them. Their home (the only one they knew) is gone. The just need time and support to settle in.

Best of luck in your new house.

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