If your partner works away all week, how do you divide the household tasks?

[NumberoneSportacusfan]

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whats your working situation? if you are a SAHM i would expect you to do the bulk. if you work FT then its more of a compromise. presumably if they work away - which my husband does - they earn more money - so i would get a cleaner. i would also pay someone to do things that a husband would normally do (sexist i know - but you can't be expected to do everything if you work as well).

if they are away all week then weekends are extra special aren't they? so i wouldn't want my husband catching up on chores all weekend - not that there's much chance of that in this house!!

I work part time and do all the household tasks. DH is away Mon-Fri every week.

My DH works an 11 hr day and is away roughly 1-2 days a week but he does no household tasks except put rubbish in bin and wheel wheelie bin down drive.

I work PT roughly 5 half days a week.

If your H is away all week, then I would not expect him to do any cleaning, unless you worked full time too.

My dh works away mon-fri, I work 14 hors a week over 2 days.

I have a cleaner for 2 hrs a week to do the basics and I do everything else.

(before he left), I am part time and did the vast majority of the household tasks - general day to day stuff, finances, kids etc. He did major DIY & the garden, we both did painting etc.

I now have a cleaner for 2 hours, do the garden myself and the DIY is stacking up after 2 years !

I work part time, while the kids are at school. When they are not at school I am overseeing homework, driving them to activities, cooking meals, laundry etc. So I am busy from when I wake until kids are in bed.

We used to leave the cleaning until the weekends. Like you say, it is a shame to have to do it when we don't have much time together. And I could do all the cleaning once the children are in bed. But I would then not get more than half an hour to relax on week-nights. Partner is working hard but gets four nights a week when he can relax/do sport after 8pm. So it doesn't seem fair if I do all the cleaning.

He was out of work for a while before getting this job so we can't really afford a cleaner for at least 6 months, by which time this contract could be finished.

I do all the cleaning etc- one of the perks of being p/t

the one night I work late, DH does the dinners, the baths and the hoovering. Try not to do much in way of housework at weekends as prefer to do stuff with the kids.

The kids are being great about doing Daddy's jobs but they are both under 8 and I don't think it is fair to expect DS to mop the kitchen floor every week, although it's great when he feels like doing this.

You see, with two of us (and our low standards) it only takes a 2 or 3 hours each at the weekend so we can do this easily while DCs are amusing themselves and still fit in plenty of time to do things with them.

I work pt from home he works away. I do it all during the week and we share it at the weekend. Kinda obvious really

should add the kids all have to help out too.

If I do it all during the week, there won't be any to share at the weekend.

You see, the feminist in me says that he should do his fair share. Why should he be able to amuse himself online, socialise (he's working in a town where he used to live and knows people), go to the gym, watch movies while I clean?

Twit, obviously the kids and I deal with the dirty dishes in the week, and DH does that at the weekend.

But I am talking about dusting, cleaning toilets and bathrooms etc

It is the jobs that need re-doing that we share, including the bathroom & toilet... [three boys]

DH works away Tues-Fri and I work a 25 hour week. I would say the cleaner does the majority of the actual cleaning. I do all the other household chores of cooking, shopping, washing, tidying. He does the ironing, will occasionally take the rubbish out, perhaps doing the washing up twice a year!

We both pay equal amounts of household bills so it's not about me "paying my share" with housework, it's just that I have more time than him and I wanted to live here in a nice house rather than in a pokey London flat. Plus I'm better at it than him . He in turn does a rather grim commute twice a week which he finds quite stressful.

In terms of childcare, I'm sole charge for Tues-Fri so he pretty much takes over responsibility Fri-Mon so I have some time off. That I think is important, because otherwise you could end up feeling resentful that they swan in and just do the fun stuff and then leave you to deal with all the crap.

I also think it's quite important that I'm not a martyr when it comes to the kids - we have lots of help from Granny and childminders too.

if you can't afford a cleaner at the moment i would bodge it in the ST - pear all work down to the minimum - you can get away with a lot if HB not around - eg bulk cook/freeze, have same meal 2 nights running, v. simple food. clean once per week (assuming no visitors). accept that things will be messy/not ideal. shop online - just look at everything and work out how to save time. do things in the car whilst you wait for kids etc etc

as soon as you are financially ok get a cleaner. contract work is great but you run the risk of never spending money just in case its not extended.

i would rather work hard during week and not at weekend - but everyones different

Get a cleaner fortnightly? Would be about £20 round here.

I think you need to lower your standards in the week. Once the dc are in from activities you should all be able to relax.

Personally the only thing I'd expect from dh in this situation is that he gets all his laundry done when away, and doesn't turn up with a bag full of dirty clothes every weekend.

And maybe think of time shared rather than chores shared. You all do a quick clean together early on Sat, then you get time off until lunchtime on Sat while he has the dc

We have a cleaner, I do everything else

When he is away he works in the evenings as well

But our kids are not good sleepers, so I get no time to myself in the evenings either

We have no family help

We have a cleaner, I do most of the other stuff (though gardeneing is his job cos he enjoys it. For me gardens are for sitting in). I work part time though so it is fair that the shopping etc mostly falls to me.

I'm a sahm, dh leaves on a sun night and back on a fri. I do everything because I want to and like to have everything done so that we can enjoy our weekend.

He still does bits and bobs at the weekend like sticking a load in or hoovering etc

I think you are lazy

Just get on with it.

If you pick your kids up at 3.30 that gives you 7 hours before bedtime to do a bit of h/w.
It really doesn't take long to flick round with the hoover or duster. You don't need hoover upstairs more than once week, and downstairs maybe every other day. Bathrooms can be done over in 10 minutes with a bit of bathroom spray cleaner and bleach.

I think you are whining TBH. Most women do all the homework stuff , taxiing etc etc unless they work fulltime and employ a nanny or cleaner.

Surely if DH is away mon-Fri the housework cannot be divided equally?

When id does happen that DH is away all week I do it all because I want us ti be able to spend the week end without him having to clean/tidy things left over for him.

That would definitely ruin the week end for us. For him to do the dishes or "cosmetic tidying up of the mess that occurs when he is here yes obviously but keeping things undone that you could clearly do just so he does his "fair share" (what is fair about it, he was clearly not there to mess up the bathroom etc) is really off IMHO.

I work FT with quite a long commute, he works/lives away during the week. We have a cleaner once a fortnight and other stuff we do jointly at the weekend but not much to do there except changing bedding and tidying up the kitchen as i've let it go been busy.

D'you know what, I found that when DP was working away last year, the house didn't get nearly so dirty . It's since he got back that it's a tip. He appears to be very dusty. Who knew?

But, while he was away, I did everything all week, obv, and at the weekends, we took it in turns to get up and sort the breakfasts out for the DC, and he did a bit of cooking, and some cleaning. I think it made him feel more like part of the family (once I had put him in my special brainwashing machine).