Boy friend moving in with me, he has his own flat with mortgage, how should we split bills etc. ?

[Chiara4444]

Hi, my boyfriend is going to moving in with me and my little one, my house solely under my name and mortgage, I can afford mortgage myself, he has his own flat ( with mortgage) which he is going to let out , how should we split the bills to make it fair?

My house is got half of the value deposit down and half of it mortgage.

He suggested to pay half of my mortgage, but want to claim the part he paid for in the share of the house? Is that making me financially vounluerable ? We will have that written in agreement .

He doesn't have kid, I have a kid on my own .

Could someone give me some advice?

Don’t read too much in to the situation in terms of his intension from MN responses, they are notoriously negative.

However, even if he has the best intentions or is just not thinking clearly you can still end up in a very bad situation so you need to get on this, to pin down what is needed.

It is not about is he a bad guy or not, it is about is this a situation that can go wrong in spite of what he is like. He may the boogie man some posters assume or just a reasonably decent normal man, but regardless you need to be in a legally protected position.

Speak to a solicitor.

Absolutely this
The cheek of him!
You provide him housing, he rents his out and grabs half of yours!
You would be insane to let him get away with this!

OP he is hell bent on using you and getting everything he can out of you. Please see this big red flag waving!

If you aren’t strong enough right now to dump him, he should be paying you rent and half the bills. He is not a home owner in your home any more than the person renting his place is a home owner there.

he didn't suggest to pay any bill in my house right now

My god woman! Open your eyes. He's blatantly using you.

I'm a single mum too and like a pp said I would also never let a boyfriend/partner move in. It's mine and my child's safe space.

Incidentally, my neighbour and his wife have lived separately for over 30 years.

but he didn't suggest to pay any bill in my house right now. In a way , I think he is taking the advantage of me,

So you are currently providing the bed and board and sex.
He is not actively looking for a renter for his place
And he wants to invest in your new home but bringing no cash to the table?

He is currently getting the benefits.

You long term danger is that if the UK brings on co-habitation laws the court will look at the whole cirvumstance of your arrangemet.
Using the irish law is a tick box

(2) In determining whether or not 2 adults are cohabitants, the court shall take into account all the circumstances of the relationship and in particular shall have regard to the following:

(a) the duration of the relationship;
2 + years

(b) the basis on which the couple live together;
Living as if married with some mixed finance and sharing child care

(c) the degree of financial dependence of either adult on the other and any agreements in respect of their finances;
At the moment you are financing his lifestyle as you are paying the bills and he gets to buy his asset and not share with you

(d) the degree and nature of any financial arrangements between the adults [part 2] including any joint purchase of an estate or interest in land or joint acquisition of personal property;
2 part steped to prevent financial abuse.
So you cant get him to pay all the bills and you finance buying assets kind of like what is happening now.

(e) whether there are one or more dependent children;
This is back to married but not. An irish spouse would get 2/3 the estate and all (legal) children 1/3. If you had a baby his brownie points go up

(f) whether one of the adults cares for and supports the children of the other; and
He gets brownie points here.

(g) the degree to which the adults present themselves to others as a couple.
And full marks here too.

Why is he living with you now for free?

I don't feel comfortable in a way.

Trust your instincts.
Get legal advice as a minimum.

Is there something cultural here? From your writing it doesn’t sound like you are originally from the UK and this man could well be taking advantage of you. Did you have some money given to you in order for you to be mortgage free at present. Just wondering if he can see £££ and wants to get his feet under the table.

Half the bills plus some more - he'll be earning from letting his place plus saving by living rent free in yours!!

OP? what have you decided? for heaven's sake, do not let him be named on the deeds. Ask for a fair rent and household expenses while looking after repairs by yourself. He has his own place - up to him if he gets rent to pay his mortgage - or is he keeping it as a bolthole?

Give him a lodger agreement for market rate of area. Food maybe a bit less than half depending on age of child. It does feel like he is attempting to profit from you are you sure you want him to move in?

Charge what a lodger would pay in your area. Do not agree to him having a part of your house. That’s crazy. You have a child. That house belongs to your child and you. Not some future cry baby boyfriend who’s chucked a Couple of pounds your way and will act all entitled if you break up.

No! He pays part of the bills only. You pay your mortgage on your own.

This 100%

Any reason why you are not getting married?

In any event ask a solicitor for advice and get a Cohabitation Agreement drawn up.

Why can't you pay your mortgage and he can pay his. Then split utilities and food 50/50? Then you both get your own house. Sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it. If you marry then relook at the situation.

Do not give him any part of your house. My friend did this and has gone to court and taken half of her house, that was bought and paid for prior to the relationship. So do not allow him any say in your home. Will he give you half of his property? Seeing how he is getting v cheap bed and board. If you let him do this to you, you will spend your life regretting this. If he turns on you you could be forced to sell your home to pay him back.

He is gaining in someone else paying his mortgage so he should pay half to live at yours. Or how about you renting yours out and living with him while he pays his own mortgage?

Reverse the situation would you behave like him? Why is his property not let? As there is a chronic housing shortage. That I don't get. Unless he is lying. You xmcould go to his property and discreetly see if anyone is living there. He is being unreasonable.

So, he has been living with you for nearly a year and hasn't paid for anything?
He's a certain kind of lodger.

Why on earth are you moving a man into your property when you have a child to consider??

This ⬆️
For almost a year!

He's already there....

This. He hasn't offered you anything towards bills. Who pays for groceries?

Presumably your child benefit is affected by him living with you. You are liable for full council tax because he is there.

Does he do half the housework?