Boy friend moving in with me, he has his own flat with mortgage, how should we split bills etc. ?

[Chiara4444]

Hi, my boyfriend is going to moving in with me and my little one, my house solely under my name and mortgage, I can afford mortgage myself, he has his own flat ( with mortgage) which he is going to let out , how should we split the bills to make it fair?

My house is got half of the value deposit down and half of it mortgage.

He suggested to pay half of my mortgage, but want to claim the part he paid for in the share of the house? Is that making me financially vounluerable ? We will have that written in agreement .

He doesn't have kid, I have a kid on my own .

Could someone give me some advice?

dont give him any share in the house. He can pay half the bills

Sorry, but this has red flags all over it. He will end up with 1.5 properties and you could end up with 0.5. You also sound a little naive tbh. Dont do it. Is the Father of your child in the picture at all

half the bills only . He has his own flat for his security , you have a child to think of .

Don't move him in.

So he wants his own house and half of yours? Is he going to be putting in 50% of value?

It's a big no from me.

The usual advice is for the moving in partner not to pay anything towards mortgage or repairs/maintenance/ home improvements. Charge rent and share of bills.

Granted, they are likely to want some security - but they will retain their own house. And also likely to be able to save a large amount on bills etc.

He sounds like he knows what he’s doing that’s for sure !

I have my tin hat at the ready but - why do women do this? Why rush another man into your life especially as you seem to be able to finanically manage on your own. Where is the Father of your child? Has he paid anything towards the property you are now living in? How long have you know this man?

No way OP.
He can rent out his property and cover his mortgage and retain his asset.
He pays half of food and bills at your place, plus rent with a written agreement that he has no claim on your home. This is perfectly reasonable and means you both benefit.
Otherwise he doesn’t move in.

Half the bills

And as the rental of his asset is earning him money free and clear while you provide for his housing

So why are you (with your child) moving in together without wanting to commit to a long term relationship and shared finances?

My house is got half of the value deposit down and half of it mortgage.
He suggested to pay half of my mortgage, but want to claim the part he paid for in the share of the house?

So you have paid 50% ownership

The bank own 50%
He pays the bank for 25% and let-to-buy 100% of his house
You pay the bank for 25% and provide your 50% to him for free.

You want to pool costs but not assets or ownership.

Let's say your mortgage is 800/month and his is also 800/month. The tenant will pay his mortgage and probably more. Your boyfriend should pay you, just direct to you not to your mortgage company, 50% of rent minus tax. Check with a solicitor how to do this so that it does not give any claim over your property - he keeps his property, you keep yours. You each pay the maintenance costs on your own property.

Then you split the monthly living costs/bills like electricity, council tax, food. The choice to equalise discretionary spending or childcare varies widely between couples, but think this through.

The questions about whether he should move in with you and your child (at this time) are separate.

Do not let him anywhere near your mortgage, ever! I know people who have been totally screwed this way. That's your asset for you and your kid. He pays half bills and food, that's it.

Absolutely this. No question. He shouldn’t be suggesting anything else.

I would ask him to contribute half the income from the rental of his flat to you as a lodger. With no rights over your property. You could do a co-habitation agreement.

It isn’t fair if he has the mortgage of his own property covered by the rental income while he lives rent free with you. But no way should you compromise your own security or stake in your own assets.

Yes exactly. The benefit of cheaper living + rental income must be split 50/50.

If he says no, that is a full string of red bunting and a stop sign.

Basic premise of any situation of moving in together: the financial benefits should be EQUAL. If they aren't, there are huge red flags. Which his suggestion definitely has - he cannot and should not have any ownership in your house. As does what many MN people suggest which is paying half of bills only as he then continues to accumulate assets with no outlay while all you gain is a slightly (very slightly because theres an extra person using water, food etc) decreased bills.

So I would speak to a solicitor to agree some kind of rental agreement. No different to if he was renting out his own home while renting from a reglar landlord. It is fine if you want to agree a reduced rent - eg if your mortgage is £1000 and rent in your area would be £600, it's perfectly fine to agree that perhaps he pays £400 in rent, plus half bills. He's saivng, your'e saving and everybody benefits.

No! Absolutely do not hm give him a share in your house. He pays bills and rent only. The audacity of him wanting to claim a share in your home all while he is renting out his own property and paying off his mortgage.

You could charge him rent of 50% of the interest portion of your mortgage payments, plus 50% of bills- those are your living costs and the rest is your personal investment in the equity of you house so should be yours to pay alone

what?? he actually told you he wants to pay half and then have a claim on it?

No thanks mate. That's your dcs future security you'd be handing over.

I don’t understand why anyone is suggesting anything other than what @Wanttobeanonhere and a few others have said.

Absolutely no other way is fair or reasonable to the OP or even acceptable in safeguarding her assets.

What is wrong with us that we fall over ourselves trying to accommodate people who clearly have absolutely no problem at all in not only prioritising themselves but actually profit from a situation at the very clear expense, both actual and potential, of other people?

For clarity others are saying he will have half your house, that is not true. Even on a reading where he is seen as having contributed his contribution would be valued at 50% of the increase in equity from the point of him paying, not 50% of the house. Also I’m not sure he would even get that much at the moment. But this still seems like a mess you don’t want.

Normally I would say jet legal advice. But there is one issue coming down the line you may want to look out for. Labour are committed to co-habitation rights, which lots of people are initially very enthusiastic about. The risks of it are huge and could sting you.

DP and I have a friend who has a very good job and a ‘D’P who basically never seems to work. They have a small child and but what he contributes is inexplicable to us. She owns their home (good job and family help) she is currently safe if she sees the light and boots him. Under the likely changes as they have been living together for 2 years he could get massive benefits if she finally sees the light. This isn’t something easy to bring up with her. You wouldn’t be in as vulnerable a place as she would be but you could be at risk.

Speak to a solicitor, ask about protecting your self under the current arrangement and also the possible new arrangements. Something like a co-habitation agreement. As you will know English law doesn’t recognise pre-nups so how it will recognise co-habitation agreements will be unclear. If this change comes in it will be a “make work” scheme for family lawyers, so protect yourself effectively. If he pays anything towards the mortgage make sure it is the market rate of a house share locally etc. Get it all in writing.

Others are being very cynical about his intentions, I wouldn’t recommend that without knowing your situation but be very careful of the risks.

How much of his mortgaged home will he be signing over to you in return?

Just coming here to echo the red flags being waved. Agree wholeheartedly with the PP.

Remember, it’s ok to chose your DC financial security over your BF. In fact, it’s what I’d expect you to do.

Having read the other comments, any which are suggesting ways to get him to pay percentages of things or basically how to benefit you financially sound really risky and likely to undermine any suggestion your house is a separate asset.

Speak to a solicitor, you probably need a co-habitation agreement and you will likely need to have him pay no more than a market rate of rent. Some ideas here sound like they would get you perhaps a hundred quid or so more but they may put the whole asset at risk.

Solicitor, solicitor, solicitor, pay on the way in so you are not paying much more on the way out.

I am not saying that he will immediately be entitled to 50% of the OP's property HOWEVER he could make life very uncomfortable for her should they split. She has already had one failed relationship and if this goes the same way she will get herself in a real mess.

TBH - she doesnt sound as know she really knows what she is doing. All the responses on this thread are saying dont do it but I fear the OP will do something daft because perhaps she thinks he is the one, or she doesnt want to be on her own.