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House swaps

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Original poster

Boy friend moving in with me, he has his own flat with mortgage, how should we split bills etc. ?

75 replies

Chiara4444 · 21/02/2025 09:48

Hi, my boyfriend is going to moving in with me and my little one, my house solely under my name and mortgage, I can afford mortgage myself, he has his own flat ( with mortgage) which he is going to let out , how should we split the bills to make it fair?

My house is got half of the value deposit down and half of it mortgage.

He suggested to pay half of my mortgage, but want to claim the part he paid for in the share of the house? Is that making me financially vounluerable ? We will have that written in agreement .

He doesn't have kid, I have a kid on my own .

Could someone give me some advice?

OP posts:
MichaelandKirk · 21/02/2025 10:54

And the OP hasnt come back.

Eze · 21/02/2025 10:57

Dont let him anywhere near your mortgage and absolutely not giving him a share of your house. Cheeky get.

If you do decide to move the chancer in, then he pays you into your bank account and you pay the bills. Do not put his name on any of your bills.

50/50 on the bills (excerpt mortgage). As others have said you could charge rent but see a solicitor.

Given he’s already shown you he wants your house as well as his own do you really want to move him in?

Diningtableornot · 21/02/2025 10:57

Half the bills, ie council tax, water, energy. Nothing for repairs or mortgage.
You might suggest that he pays when you go out for drinks or meals to even it up, or that he does, and pays for, more of the food shopping.

VaddaABeetch · 21/02/2025 11:00

What age is your child?
Why are you ok with moving a man into your house who wants to steal from your child?

AnSolas · 21/02/2025 11:28

@Izzy24 people recognise that an adult should not "live rent free" in someone elses house where they would otherwise pay a landlord. And if it was a woman moving in the advice would be to make sure that any "rent" paid is recognised as buying into the asset.

@Thisistyresome
Labour are committed to co-habitation rights, which lots of people are initially very enthusiastic about. The risks of it are huge and could sting you.

Ireland snook that in with Civil Partnership legislation in 2010 and ring fencing paymemts to bills is not a protection as the wording looks at how financially dependent each party is

What Irish legislation looks at:

https://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/2010/act/24/section/172/enacted/en/html#sec172

Even on a reading where he is seen as having contributed his contribution would be valued at 50% of the increase in equity from the point of him paying, not 50% of the house

Your maths is imo off?

The OP buys in at 200k and house is now 26Ok

She buys 50% 100k
Bank holds 50%

BF is buying 25% of just under 200k from the bank.
(The just under is because early in the term the OP is paying high interest and a small loan amount )

She holds 50%
Bank is paid 50%
He buys 25%
She buys 25%

The market movement of 60k is not "real money" which can be used and that price can fall

On a 400k sale
That is
200k Original MV (her 50% + 25% him 25%)
60k MV at buyin Before Bf
140 MV since buyin After BF

She gets
100k for 50% OMV
50k for 25% OMV
60k for MV BBF
70k for 50% ABF
35k for 25% ABF

He gets
__ k for 50% OMV
50k for 25% OMV
__ k for MV BBF
__ k for 50% ABF
35k for 25% ABF

If sold for under 260k his buyin % stays the same.
so a market drop possible under her OMV she looses out.

Jesusisking23 · 21/02/2025 11:30

MichaelandKirk · 21/02/2025 09:55

I have my tin hat at the ready but - why do women do this? Why rush another man into your life especially as you seem to be able to finanically manage on your own. Where is the Father of your child? Has he paid anything towards the property you are now living in? How long have you know this man?

This is none of your business though is it

Livelaughlurgy · 21/02/2025 11:31

Will he be signing over part of his house to the people paying the mortgage on it? If he's not considering that then I don't see why you should.

JimHalpertsWife · 21/02/2025 11:33

MichaelandKirk · 21/02/2025 10:54

And the OP hasnt come back.

She only started the thread an hour or so a go.

Pelot · 21/02/2025 11:35

You'd be mad. Whatever you do don't let him have a claim on your home. He gets to keep his property, live somewhere at a discount and own part of it...he saw you coming.

cestlavielife · 21/02/2025 11:36

He has his own property
He does not need a share of yours
So no he can pay bills and rent to you as a lodger

Izzy24 · 21/02/2025 11:36

@AnSolas

I agree - which is why I said ‘people’ - makes no difference whether it’s a man or a woman wanting to move in with these particular agreements.

AnSolas · 21/02/2025 11:38

Izzy24 · 21/02/2025 11:36

@AnSolas

I agree - which is why I said ‘people’ - makes no difference whether it’s a man or a woman wanting to move in with these particular agreements.

👍

MounjaroOnMyMind · 21/02/2025 11:39

He suggested to pay half of my mortgage, but want to claim the part he paid for in the share of the house

I bet he does. So as others have said, he'll have one and a half houses while you'll be left with half a house.

Normally we could advise you on the best way to figure things out but he's shown such a huge red flag before even moving in that I think you'd be crazy to let him move in with you. Even if he agreed not to have a hold of your home, he's shown his true colours. He's put himself first. He wants to take advantage of you. Don't let him move in.

Lollypop701 · 21/02/2025 11:39

Honestly if a partner of mine suggested this to me I’d tell him to fuck right off… and to avoid doubt don’t come back.

Lovelysummerdays · 21/02/2025 11:42

I wouldn’t give him a share of the house. Give him a lodgers agreement, he can pay you market rent and bills for the area. I personally wouldn’t move someone in to my child’s home. I am a single parent. I just think it’s rarely in best interest of dc. By all means date and have fun, I certainly wouldn’t risk my financial security though.

MeganCarter · 21/02/2025 11:43

I’m only too happy to give you advice OP - don’t do it, recognise a predator, dump

DeepFatFried · 21/02/2025 11:44

If you split up, would you be able to buy him out for his share?
At an increased market value? Even if you could you would be buying back a % of your own house at a price higher than the price you originally paid for the house (If house prices go up at all).

If you couldn’t afford to buy him out you would need to sell your house.

And he would walk off with the proceeds of having invested in your house, back k to his own flat that his tenant has been paying for.

He has his security in his own flat. He is getting his mortgage paid by his tenant. It is of little benefit to you but huge risk to let him have a claim on your house.

Your priority needs to be to be to maintain security for yourself and your child.

Tell him you will consider a joint mortgage in 3 years time if you are still together and maybe buy a house together.

Until then, you see how you get in living as a family and he contributed to bills and overheads as a lodger / cohabitee but no claim on your house.

Any reasonable man in his position would agree.

MichaelandKirk · 21/02/2025 11:47

Deepfat - quite. Why wouldnt anyone do what you have suggested?

Tweedled · 21/02/2025 11:50

He’s not daft is he!
He will be well aware if the money he contributes is noted down as mortgage payments then he could be entitled to half of your house.
Really OP. He is not to be trusted here.

StopStartStop · 21/02/2025 11:52

Don't do it. Protect yourself and your little one and keep the boyfriend in his own flat. He's trying to take advantage of you.

bigboykitty · 21/02/2025 11:53

Tell him that actually you will rent out your place, keep all the rent and move in with him. You will pay half the mortgage and bills at his place and have a half share of his house, whilst keeping full ownership of your own. Or alternatively, just dump the grabby fucker.

Original poster
Chiara4444 · 21/02/2025 12:17

Wow. Thank you for a lot of the response.

I just starting to feel a bit silly. We have been together for nearly 2 years. He is not the kid's dad and kid's dad doesn't pay anything towards the kid or our life.

Because I got stung once and yeah I'm a bit nervous about things moving forward with anyone.

I'm currently owning my house outright, and buying a house with half of the deposit down after I sell this house. Leaving me half of the mortgage to pay. He lives here now since Dec, left his flat empty, still paying mortgage and stuff, but he didn't suggest to pay any bill in my house right now. In a way , I think he is taking the advantage of me, he does help me with looking after my kid and other stuff tho, but yeah, I don't feel comfortable in a way.

It seems like he is getting all the benefits. So if there is any repairs, or extension, I'll pay my self, he only pay half of the bills , then some rent then that would sound safer right?

Thanks

OP posts:
MeganCarter · 21/02/2025 12:26

then that would sound safer right?

marginally

we are all suspicious of his motivation, sincerity, end game,
he is essentially your lodger, biding his time OP, do not
dismiss the collective wisdom experience and advice here,
often hard won
you are uncertain and frankly that should be enough

do not get pregnant and do not marry him, this has
exploitation written all over

CoffeeBeansGalore · 21/02/2025 12:31

Honestly, his eyes are on increasing his financial security at your expense. Sounds like he's moved in by stealth & has just revealed his next step in increasing his assets by snatching yours. Tell him to move out, you'd rather go back to dating. Or just dump him. You'll never be able to trust that he has your best interests at heart.

Or flip it - tell him you'll move in with him & rent your place out. You'll contribute to his mortgage and want that equity % signed over to you. Cue a Scooby Doo cloud of dust as he hot foots it back to his place in a rage that you dared suggest that you should be entitled to any of his asset.

StopStartStop · 21/02/2025 12:35

do not get pregnant and do not marry him, this has
exploitation written all over

This. And, if you can get him out, do so.