My 5 year old wont do his home work has artism

[SAMKITTY]

My 5 year old wont do his home work he dosent refuse becouse he just dosent want to he has a melt down and insists he has done work at school and brakes down he has artisum sensory overloads and we have tryed every different way to help him but he gets so under pressure i dont want to do that to him to affect him like that im underpressure from the school ive explained and ask there help and the only answer i get is that he has to do it regardless and no child will be exempt from it even though im not asking them to do that but realistically i carnt force him its really distressing him as he gets fixed ideas and im just asking for them maybe to understand that im trying and willing but i carnt rewire his mind i can only find other ways to support him but its also not fair to push him to the limits of distress to the point hes lost self control can anyone please give any advice on there views please

Does he have a diagnosis, and presumably the school knows this? I have to say they sound appalling and unsupportive. Ffs homework for a 5yo anyway!

I would tell them in writing, in detail, exactly what the issues are and why and how he is struggling, and put the responsibility for support on them ie ask them how you all can help.

Does he have any additional support at all?

Oh sod the homework.

Really.

Just don't even try and make him do it. The school are being ridiculous. Is it a state school?

No just a infant school nothing special a normal school but its got to the point where the head teacher pulled me in and told me that he will do it regardless and they have had artistic children in the school no matter what no child gets out of doing it i explained reasons why hes not but it feels like they are not paying attention to what im saying i contacted other agency's for support but it made it worse they emailed the school now the head teacher is acuseing me of slandering them im not at all im asking them to understand to help this situation and my son and where am i suppose to get help from if they wont help me i feel like im getting wrong for asking for support and not being understood im trying to be responsible and they are takeing affensive and thank you for responding to me x

Yes he has a diagnosis full detailed information about his artisum that he has environmental factors that affect him he has sensory needs and hyperactivity he has fixed ideas and carnt always distinguish between reality and whats not he is unaware of everyday dangers the school have the report but dont seem to be understanding it

The school should have an appointee Senco leader. Can you ask to speak to them. Your son is entitled to reasonable adjustments to support him with his autism and not doing this homework is reasonable.

I smiled when you spelt it as artism. My son told his whole class during a class assembly that he has autism. Later that day a child asked him: 'are you really artistic?' Which had my son in fits of giggles.

Ive spoke with them ive explained his tiggers and did everything possible to make sure they get all imformation ive suggest things but they took it if i was complaining refused to listen to the point the have to teachers bringing him out at night to protect them selfs from me for just informing them and explaining i feel they are not listening i asked early help and artisum out reach to help i told them maybe ther eis a communcation brake down they emailed the school and the head teacher pulled me and wasent nice at all i was excused of makeing complaints about her school ive never pulled any twachers down just tryed to get them to listen and i feel like i carnt trust any one becouse i results in this ive went the right way about been so pleasant and understanding not made demands just tryed to inform them about my sons needs thats all ive done

Ask them to show you the evidence that homework for five year olds improves outcomes.

Yes, see the Senco.

Also worth looking at ipsea.org.uk and NAS websites.

School has a duty to support him using 'best endeavours' - look at this ipsea page

Senco first step but arm yourself with knowledge of your rights. Don't let them distract you with threats and wailing about you slandering them. Focus on your ds and what support he needs.

He has a senco worker i tryed hard to explain his triggers to her she says that she is the expert and dosent need me to tell her thats the attitude im getting i carnt understand why i could understand if i was complaining are being abusive are demanding i carnt see why they are pushing me

Sorry x posted, sounds like it's gone beyond senco - ok deal with the head directly. Keep pleasant and factual. Show them you know what you're talking about and know what your ds's rights are - school have a duty to ensure access to education and if that means support they have to provide it. If they can't provide it without extra resources it's their duty to request assessment from local authority (to get EHCP).

I'd keep telling them you cannot make him do the homework due to his autism. Keep asking them what strategies or measures do they suggest? I'd repeat and repeat.

But I appreciate it's hard - I've had 8 years of experience with schools so am hardened now! First thing is arm yourself with knowledge of what he's entitled to in way of support.

I got advice for these groups and senco told me its useless information not to bother i really dont no how to feel i feel mad and upset and that they have clouded my trust in anyone while speaking up for my son i understand alot about artism every child is diffrent i have a 35 old brother who has asparagus and work with people with mental health problems so i could understand if i was mindless its really nice to no that people like yous have took time to look at my post and give me yous views i feel like im going insane tbh

Really thank you everyone for posting its helping to no people out there can advise and explain things i feel a little bullied tbh

I might rethink schools also maybe its not the right school for him x

You may get more help if you post on the SN boards here, lots of posters have children with autism.

Click on "Report" on your first post and ask Mumsnet HQ to move your post to whichever SN board you think is best.

SNChat www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs_chat

or SNChildren www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs

Short answer from me, move schools, this one isn't ever going to help your son.

Yep I agree, I'd try and move him asap.

Gosh yes see about moving him. The school are behaving dreadfully. And for the senco to say 'I'm the expert' 😂😂.

Homework is not legally enforceable as far as I am aware. But agree the school sounds dreadful.

That school doesn’t sound great. My son has autism and his school have been very helpful and understanding and have made lots of changes to help my son. They don’t claim to be experts and are open to taking advice.

Homework isn’t necessary if its making life too difficult or maybe you could focus on getting part of it done like the reading? What can they actially do if you just don’t do it?

My son works well using a now & next approach. So ‘now we are doing homework’ and ‘next you get a cartoon’. He is happier to do the work if he sees he can get a reward straight after.

Rachelover40 -are you just being mean?

how horrible @Rachelover40

Rach thinks she’s being clever but is just showing herself up.

OP. What happens if he doesn’t do his homework? Some days we don’t do homework as my child is exhausted and has a meltdown. The teachers are fine with it.

It seems like a lot of pressure for a 5 year old with special needs. I agree about looking into other schools.

*autism

Rachelover40 what a horrible nasty post.

OP, I think you have answered your own questions about whether the school is suitable for your son, and I don't think it is. He needs somewhere that he would be nurtured especially at such a young age. Could you look for somewhere more suitable for him? IF you can say roughly where in the country you are people might be able to signpost local support for you. Good luck.