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Original poster

Son year 7 struggling to get into homework routine

30 replies

gramadilema · 18/09/2018 16:22

I’ll say straight away I’m probably getting over involved here. DS2 started at grammar school a week ago, after barely doing any homework in his last year at primary. The classes are of course noticeably more challenging than in primary school. As background, DS got in to the school via the waiting list ( and I have a bit of impostor syndrome by proxy).
Today he had three pieces of homework to do and (the school was closed all day ). He did some work but kept retreating onto his mobile phone and disappointingly has only completed 1piece of work, and is leaving another for tomorrow ( when he’ll be tired after school) and one for the weekend ( when other activities will be happening).
I have felt frustrated and wanted to take his phone away but didn’t as I don’t want to start The whole homework thing off on a bad footing and turn it into a struggle.
What is the best way forward? He needs to get into a good routine, get his homework in as required and not depend on me to remind him/ nag.
Any advice gratefully received!

OP posts:
bluecrown · 18/09/2018 16:44

Hello. I was very over involved. It was the only way to get anything done first year of big school! It depends how much time you have yourself.

I allowed some downtime in the afternoon, then I checked diary to see what needed done. Pretty much checked it as they went along. It was hard work.

I accepted this was what was needed yr 7 for my child. As the year went on, things improved a bit. It is very overwhelming for some of them. Sometimes saying "do your biology homework" was too vague. "Do question 5 then show me it" worked better.

Some children are really tired when they start at secondary school too!

sd249 · 18/09/2018 18:20

Have you tried taking his mobile phone/ consoles etc off him until the work is completed?

Homework routine should be work is done that day that it is set or planned to do another day if they have a sport or hobby on that night?

Worst comes to worst he will have to miss the things that he enjoys if his work is not completed, or he will get into trouble at school.

Original poster
gramadilema · 18/09/2018 21:42

Thanks both, blue crown it’s good to hear others have been there, and that it can be necessary to keep a close eye on things, which was my feeling. Sd249 screens are an important part of the issue. DS2 has spent excessive time on phone and computer today and it all came to a head so I have instituted 2 screen free weekdays. If that is not enough it will be upped. Both my boys spend way too much time on them , partly as a hangover from the holidays when we didn’t really limit time. It has to be brought down especially as this is DS1s GCSE year.
At the moment I am not working so I have time to address issues and I want to set a good routine up before I go back to work.

Any other advice gratefully received!

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Verbena87 · 18/09/2018 21:53

Not grammar school but I teach and have a form. One year 7 was terrible for homework/organisation and got very very limited support at home.

I did what I could as form tutor (checked his diary daily with him, tried to give reminders) but when you have 20 minutes for 39 students it’s not a lot!

By about year 9 it suddenly seemed to really click for him, just by and for himself. He just finished year 11 with a really fab set of results.

So definitely do what you can, but try not to panic. I do think from my teaching that sometimes boys take a bit longer to gain self-management/independent learning skills.

Verbena87 · 18/09/2018 21:54
  • 30 students! A form of 39 really would be impossible!!!
DuskyMoth · 18/09/2018 21:58

Regarding screen time what was suggested to me as a method which works quite well is to give them a set allowance each day (for example an hour), with the opportunity to 'earn' extra time. So completed homework for example buys more screen time. Chores and practicing instruments and sporting activities also give more time.

bluecrown · 18/09/2018 22:29

Screens are very tempting, for us all! In our case, can't be within reach when homework is being done. Too distracting. Allowed for little while before homework (7 hours without them!) then back again when work done.

Grammar here too and it's tough going at times. Sometimes I struggle to accept that even if it's not done the way I would do it, it's done and it will have to do.

Lauren0rder · 18/09/2018 22:36

Rule here is

When you get home from school do

  1. any and all homework
  2. a job.....tidy bedroom or empty dishwasher
  3. do something that doesn’t involve a screen

Then you can play on the PlayStation.

Ouch44 · 18/09/2018 22:48

Seems to be a thing with Year 7 boys. Well amongst my circle anyway. Don't think it's just Grammar School. My DS now in Year 8 of Grammar and it was hard last year. They introduced an app towards the end of the year which has made it easier as we can both see what HW is and see it get ticked off as he does it.

My DS also had a small amount of HW at primary and they weren't too bothered if they didn't do it on time! Which made it hard for him especially in the beginning. We noticed that kids from other schools were much more disciplined. So they definitely need help learning to organise themselves.

What is the consequence of not having his HW in on time? DS got better after he forgot his HW for the first time. Got a warning! So at some point letting him forget a HW might help him learn!

Original poster
gramadilema · 19/09/2018 09:14

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful posts. Good to hear it can be a year 7 issue generally and kids can find their stride with time. It’s true DS1 ( yr 11) who is ironically less academic is now pretty much autonomous with HW. DS1 can be lazy and cruise along and make excuses to minimise time spent on school work.
I’m thinking of doing a sheet to be pinned up on the fridge with the screen free days, and a priorities list as outlined by Laurenorder.
I’ve found when something is printed out and pinned up it’s harder for everyone to argue against it. It was always me doing the washing up until I hung up a rota!

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Lauren0rder · 19/09/2018 13:18

I wouldn’t go for screen free days actually.

That would drive me crazy......

If everything is done and attitude is good, could they not have an hour or so to play games?

Original poster
gramadilema · 19/09/2018 14:01

Yes you have a point. I think we’ll try screen free but if it doesn’t work go for a contract style arrangement where they finish all tasks then have some time. My only concern would be they’d rush through their tasks just to get to their screens.

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GU24Mum · 19/09/2018 14:06

My eldest was truly awful in Y7 and in hindsight it would have been less stressful to have been more on her back. The hideous mess of scrunched up bits of paper from when she'd left her book at home by the time it came to revision took me a whole afternoon to go through, stick in, file etc.
So, assuming you have the time, I'd be more involved at least until your DS gets into the routine - could take til Y9 though........... No phones in the room he's doing homework in though personally I don't see the problem allowing him to use it for a break between subjects. Good luck - it does get better eventually. I remember your post from the other week - your DS has of course missed out on the slightly gentle fortnight of settling in so is straight into supposedly being in the swing of things.

Original poster
gramadilema · 19/09/2018 15:16

Thanks GU24. I’m between jobs so. I have some time to devote to this but don’t want to be so over involved that he gets really stressed out. I do feel it’s better to be on top of it now rather than wait for things to get seriously behind and facing panic, detentions etc. I hope your DD has things more under control now.

OP posts:
TeenTimesTwo · 19/09/2018 15:22

We have a rule all homework done by Sunday lunchtime.

In y7/y8 DD got so little that it could be carried over to the weekend (she struggles with school and generally was too tired at the end of the day).

Y9 now and getting a bit more. I am insisting she does some any night she has no after school club, and some days she has them too. But we are only talking 30mins or so.

If she had a 'day off' it would be homework in the morning, with breaks until it is done.

H/W is a bit sporadic so we never really know what will be set when which makes getting into a routine hard.

(ps Have you seen the starting y7 thread on the Secondary board?)

bluecrown · 19/09/2018 15:26

DD couldn't come in and start homework straight away. Def does better with a bit of recharging time first. If there is a lot then breaks in between. It can take a long time. We try to get ahead where possible.

iklboo · 19/09/2018 15:27

Does your school subscribe to the Show My Homework app? It's been brilliant for us as we can see exactly what is due, when and help DS plan it. It even gives an estimate of the time it should take.

As with PP we do the homework, tea, planning then play rule. It seems to work pretty well for us so far.

TeenTimesTwo · 19/09/2018 15:33

DD gets home ~3:30
Then snack and TV until 4/4:15
Then 30mins or so of h/w
It's about all she can manage, and maths has to be left to the w/e.

If she has a club she gets home 4:20ish, then snack/TV until 5. Then if I am lucky some h/w can be done, but nothing hard.

Original poster
gramadilema · 19/09/2018 19:37

Good day today DS got home while I was out and went straight into doing his homework which he has completed for today so got rewarded with half and hour on the computer which he asked for even though it’s “ no computer day” today, hope I’m not sending out mixed messages. He got his Show my Homework login today and it was obvious he likes the feeling of being in control it gives him. Didn’t want to give me his login though but that’s a battle for another day.

OP posts:
Original poster
gramadilema · 19/09/2018 19:39

And thanks again to everyone for these excellent comments and suggestions. I’ve also been looking in on the Starting year 7 thread as mentioned by TeenTimes2.

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Lauren0rder · 20/09/2018 09:01

Brilliant!

So glad it’s starting to work......

Parenting is such hard work.....🙈🙈

Original poster
gramadilema · 20/09/2018 12:28

I’ll second that. It’s the hardest but the rewards can be lovely ( cliche alert!). It is a bit like the myth of Sisyphus, you roll your ball to the top of the hill, it drops down , you go down the hill, roll it back up again and repeat. But unlike the myth, sometimes you do get to the top of the hill in the end !

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spinabifidamom · 20/09/2018 15:23

We spend about a hour on homework each day. We eat a quick tea first then we do any homework before bedtime. She learns the piano so that eats up some of our time.

Generally speaking the routine is tea, homework, piano, reading and bedtime. She gets so little homework as a rule that she is out of practice compared with the amount given to her same age friends who are at schools. I believe homework is essential.

We also do after school clubs and activities. Primarily drama and dance lessons.

Eightmile · 25/09/2018 08:44

I dunno, but when take a look at my kid's homework, i lose my temper as it's so complicated for my baby, but they put so much, it's doesn't make sense. So, sometimes i use additional services like [url=homework-lab.com/study-tips/]homework-lab.com/study-tips//[/url] to help them.

whataboutbob · 25/09/2018 12:24

It can be overwhelming and whatever tools work for you and your DC are worth doing. Homework is supposed to be an extension of their learning at school so as long as it is making them think about the subject and it makes things easier it’s worth doing Smile.