The Socialisation Issue

[Marjoriew]

I always know when anyone is asking me about HE, that they are going to bring up the socialisation issue.
I realise it's an important issue, but it seems to me that it's the first thing people bring up when they are asking about HE.
It's like implying that if they aren't in school, they're not getting to mix enough with other children.
Why does socialisation have to take place within a child's peer group?
When asked, it feels as though the priority of others is that it doesn't matter a jot whether a child is happy being educated out of school or not to a better standard than in school - that it's so much more important that they are socialised.

whether-sorry

Seeker, I am very interested to hear what it was about your HE that you regret.

I am planning to HE my two pre-schoolers and the one thing I am concerned about is that they get the opportunity to make friends. I have already started to join HE groups and will take them to gym/ballet/whatever they fancy.

Re socialisation, assuming this means learning how to fit into 'society' or to put it another way 'follow the herd', we are not so keen on this. We would like to bring up our girls to be able to think for themselves and accept/reject anything based on whether it is right for them and their values and not on whether it is what other people do.

Am I going to cause them great problems in the future by taking this approach?

I was schooled. I got on fine academically but had many miserable times on the social side. In fact friendship issues made me unhappy from time to time until my mid 30s and it is only recently that I have really found myself and feel confident around other people.

On the socialisation side, since my teens I have vacillated between being ultra conforming and rebellious and again have only recently found my own way.

So I personally think that school is nothing special when it comes to socialisation.

I will bump it up for you to give seeker the chance to see it.
I think that you have to bear in mind that your experiences have nothing to do with your DCs. My father had a miserable time-it never occurred to me that I would find the same. He seemed very old to me (he was in his 20's when I was born!)and it was like 'the olden days'.
Schools vary so much-have you visited any?

I have put my older daughter through school and she had a miserble time too. I can just tell with my 3 year old that she will struggle. She is very bright, impatient (has trouble sitting still) and is a kinaesthetic learner. Already I could see at pre-school that she was going to get into trouble just for being herself. I want my younger girls to grow to their full potential and I think the best environment to do this is at home. If they want to go to school they can and I will take your advice and look around

I will bump it up again for you-hopefully you can get some advice.

thanks