Worried about homeschooling plan

[nanaange]

Hi! Might be worried about nothing but can’t get a feeling out of my head.

im a grandmother. I’m quite young (early 50’s) and work 1.5 days a week at the moment. I have 4 grandchildren and look after 2 of them 3 days a week and I collect the other 2 from school once a week. Weekend babysitting every now and again). Love looking after them and I’ve always offered. I did expect it to get less as they start school though.

My daughter has announced that her 2 children won’t be going to school and will be homeschooled (no problems from me although I know very little about it). The oldest is 5 this month. The problem is that she expects me to homeschool them for 4 days a week (the 3 I normally have them and she’s asked for one extra). She works full time and her mother in law currently has them for the other 2 days (reducing for to ill health).

I just don’t want to. I’ve mentioned this and I just want to enjoy my time with them. She says that we don’t have to do any planned lessons. Just carry on as normal (Tesco, post office, park etc). And they learn through this. They do learn but is it enough?! She has said she won’t be doing anything additional as we’ll be doing it in the week (me and mother in law). I feel stressed that I don’t want to say no but I don’t even know where to start. Will just going about my day be enough??

any advice welcome!!

That's ridiculous.

You will be asked to show how you are providing an education. It doesn't need to be a school curriculum but going to Tesco and the park is not an education and isn't enough.

The OP won't be asked to show anything, the parents will.

@nanaange look after them if you want to, or tell your daughter you won't if you don't want to.
But don't worry about their education, that isn't your responsibility.

Wow! I think at 5 most learning can be in the every day for example - Tesco:

• write a shopping list together
• get google maps up, talk about where you will go, anywhere you will pass (post box, child's house, park etc)
• walk to the shop
• look at the list - begin to look at the signs in the store, find the items you need
• talk about the cost, maybe add some of the prices
• walk home.

There, geography, maths, English, PE all in your one trip! I think when they are little most learning is stuff you'd teach them anyway. Like I guess you would talk to your grandson anyway.

Saying that though, assuming your grandson isn't likely to struggle massively with school, he does NOT NEED to be home-schooled. If your daughter wants him homeschooled, enough to give up work to do it she can, if not, he can go to school!

Living life, exploring & reading lots is fine for 5yr old & younger sibs. (Mine mostly climbed trees , built Lego & were read to until much older & they've got excellent exams etc now) However deciding to home educate (it's not called homeschool in the U.K.) but then passing the kids to someone else is pretty unusual. I know several HE families where grandparents have the kids one or two days a week. I think you need to have a good discussion with your DD about her expectations. You really need to understand her reasons for home Ed & her educational philosophy.

I would also strongly recommend getting in contact with local home Ed groups & going along to a few meet ups - ideally your DD too.

It could be an amazing opportunity if it's something you want to do, but it obviously isn't and you certainly shouldn't be pushed into it.

I'm mid 50s and home educated my 2 DS who are now 18 and 21 to GCSE level. One is now at uni and the other at 6th form about to take his A levels.

Although I was a single parent for 5 years of that home ed time, I worked part time evenings and weekends to fit around home education. I would never have expected my mother to take on the responsibility of home educating them.

She is expecting too much of you. If she wants to.home educate her children that's fine, but she should be the one doing to bulk or it, not passing them off on grandparents who didn't sign up for it.

I would be better very firm that you're available for occasional babysitting but full-time childcare beyond school age is not what you want to be doing, or feel able to provide.

She can’t expect you to do this OP

I think you’re going to have to be firm and just say no. If the children’s parents want to home educate then they have to work their employment around it. It’s not your responsibility.

WTF?

A person can decide to home educate their kids. They can’t decide that someone else will home educate them.

Please don’t feel bad about saying no. This is a HUGE ask and completely unreasonable for her to expect this from you.

I've homeschooled my two dc all the way to university level.

She's a cheeky sod. What she is describing is known as unschooling, which when done well can be very effective, but is also actually quite demanding of the educator. You teach through everyday actions, but that means you have to make sure you actively engage with the children on every thing you do, in order to develop their awareness and skills. I've seen children who were unschooled well and they were flourishing, but I've also seen ones whose parents claimed they were unschooled who were frankly not being educated at all.

Putting it on you is out of order, if she wants that education for her dc either her or the dc's other parent should be doing it.

You need to refuse. This is a terrible plan and your grandchildren have the right to a proper education. Of course this doesn't have to be in a formal school setting but it is pure fantasy that they will absorb anything approaching and education from pottering around with 2 grandmas. I think you have to let her know that you are no longer available for daytime childcare because you cannot participate in thembeing denied a decent education in this way. But that you will make yourself available to provide wraparound care before and after school on the days you have previously cared for them, if she sorts out an appropriate school place, but if she wants then educated outside of school she can't involve you in that

It’s ludicrous. It’s unreasonable in every way. Of course you need to say No. If she wants to home school she needs to organise that.

You are looking forward to more time to yourself, entirely reasonably. Tell her this.

I am a retired teacher and under no circumstances would l do this even though it would be quite easy for me. This is absolute madness. Be enough to expect you to do homework after school but to be responsible for homeschooling..NO! She has some cheek.
I do see that their time with you can be a learning opportunity but to feel you are the one responsible to teach these kids..don't do it!

I would have a read of the Elective Home Ed guidance issued by your grandchildren’s LA. Does your daughter understand the expectations. This is her responsibility, not yours.

This is one LA.

• Annual reviews to ensure that you are still happy with your current arrangements, that the progression and the education you continue to provide for your child is still suitable for their age, ability and aptitude.
• Where education is not meeting your child’s needs, we offer advice and guidance to help you improve the learning and if required, help you look at other options.

https://www.hertfordshire.gov.uk/services/schools-and-education/at-school/educating-your-child-at-home/educating-your-child-at-home.aspx#homeeducatingrightforme

It’s absolutely outrageous to decide to homeschool your children but then not actually do it yourself but dump it on the grandparents. What a cheeky fucker she is.

What your daughter has in mind would work perfectly well educationally. It is how many young home educated kids learn, and even some older ones.

The point is, do you want to do it? If you are happy to carry on looking after your GC for so many hours per week when that wasn't your expectation, then I'm sure home educating families can reassure you that this is actually a good education. It's how my kids learned and it served them well. I could recommend some books and podcasts, or you could go along to a local home education group to chat with the other families there about how it works.

But if you don't want to continue having them so many hours, their parents will have to make other arrangements. I'm shocked that they have simply announced that they plan to have you do this, rather than asking you whether you'd consider it. That's not on!

Thank you for all of the input. I think I’m going to have to say I can’t do the home education but will continue the childcare until September (and for the younger sibling) and she needs to have a proper plan in place - i think I could manage one day but not 4. I’ll have a look at the links and print them out for her to read. Hopefully that will clarify a few things

This is crazy OP. You need to say no firmly.

This is ridiculous, I would go as far to day that if she's not enrolling them in school then you will be reducing the days you have them as homeschooling should not fall in you! Out of all the CF's I read about on here I think your daughter is in the top 3!

If you're happy to do one day, offer that. My parents look after my home educated children one day a week but they do things like gardening, baking, playing chess together not anything formal.

Has she forgot to apply for a place for them in school or something- it's madness!

This is very worrying. Presumably she hasn't lined up a school place for September and is assuming you will just step into line. It sounds like a recipe for disaster.

That’s really ridiculous. So you are just free childcare and they are going to get no education?

This isn't ok. She doesn't have the opportunity to homeschool if she is at work most of the time. And to expect you to do it is unacceptable. She is basically asking you to continue long, full on days of childcare beyond which you should be asked to, because normally they'd be at school and helping out would mean picking them up at the end of the day. I would just say no, you don't want to.

Absolutely not, and I have years of experience home educating.