Nothing in common with other home ed parents

[Loonyloopylupin]

My 8 YO DS is home educated and is absolutely thriving both academically and socially (he has both home educated friends and schooled friends). Very happy with that.

However I have one major issue in that I have literally nothing in common with almost any other home educating parents I've met. I don't know if this is partly due to the area I live in but, of the parents I know, several are anti vaxx and into alternative medicine, and even those who aren't anti vaxxers are into things like "sound healing" and things that (to me) are utterly cringe making like "healing circles". At the last home ed meet up I went to where parents attended they all sang songs together and it was honestly like my worst nightmare (lighthearted obviously). I hate anything like that. I don't even like yoga classes that are too hippy (like the prenatal yoga class I recently attended that told me to breathe the golden light in - vomit).

Anyway, I'm not particularly asking for advice as my son is happy and thriving which is the main thing, and I have plenty of friends myself, but do any other home educators feel this way?

As far as I understand home education is not school at home, that is home schooling. It may help, if you follow timetable, NC or are pretty structured, if you tell people you are a home schooler. They probably seem prickly because home education is a pretty different approach and philosophy to home school. I echo that there are all kinds of home ed/school parents out there. It takes a while to find groups you like and make friendships. We have, over years, all sorts of friends - and many children return to school or college for later years, making it a more varied experience. I've come to appreciate all sorts of people - environmentalists, SEN families, professional parents such as lawyers/doctors, Shiatsu practitioners, crafts people, carers and teachers. As long as your child is happy I'd keep an open and curious mind about people - which is one of the things home education is all about.

😂

I think I just naturally assumed at first that as I was educating my child at home after deregistering that there would be checks to comply with and I had no issue with that ? On the fb groups they said ‘you wouldn’t let the police in to check just in case you’d committed a crime ‘ etc etc but I didn’t see it like that I just thought the LA want to make sure I’m offering a suitable education and I didn’t realise it was an issue till I’d mentioned about it

I can absolutely see why some people have a different approach and ethos and home educate in a different way to me and I respect that. I’d never have a go at then for how they do things but there comes a point where I just thought why are they fighting against these checks to such an extent it’s like they are making their own lives harder - not me !!! So much refusal to give work samples as the work is the property of their child and their child doesn’t consent etc etc whereas I’m all for an easy life and I like to comply so I’m happy to send photos / samples.

No, home schooling is when your child is still enrolled at school but not physically present and the school sends work home for them.

Home education your child is not enrolled at school and you, the parent, take full responsibility for their education. That can encompass anything from unschooling to formal sit down learning.

I'm not! I'm in Fishponds.

Most of us make decisions based on the best interests of our children and not other home educators.

Not sure - people seem to use the terms interchangeably now. Many people educating children at home, not enrolled at school, call it home schooling. As far as I know, the inclusion of the word 'school' implies a school like approach - worksheets, national curriculum, timetables. But home education is a broader approach, the main philosophical text being Holt's 'Teach your own.' There are ideas like following the child's interest, 'strewing; - e.g. giving access to materials relevant to an interest without teaching it, allowing a child to spend weeks on a subject like Maths/Circus skills if that's what they enjoy, and unschooling. I think it may be fair to say the two terms have blended, however. I still think that many home educators are quite attached to not doing school at home (which is impossible anyway.)

They might use the terms interchangeably but the definitions I've used are the correct ones. I've never come across any home educator who calls themselves a homeschooler, irrespective of their educational philosophy.

Home education encompasses many different approaches, not just John Holt's. I don't know what gave you that impression but it's not correct.

In any case, we don't do "school at home".

@Loonyloopylupin I think you will find different dictionary definitions if you look, plus a phrase in use can change its meaning over time. Holt is not the only approach, but he is considered important to many home educators. I am sorry for suggesting your approach may be structured more like school, although I was responding to other posters also who were discussing work samples. It sounds like you are just surrounded by certain kinds of people that you don't like and only mix with because you home educate. I wish you luck and hope you find people more up your street. Bristol is a varied city, so I should think the chances of finding your type of people are good.

In the UK homeschooling and home educating are two completely different things. Go on any of the Facebook groups and use the term homeschooling and see how swiftly you are likely to be corrected. It's not to do with how the education is delivered but whether or not the child is enrolled at school. You could be forgiven for not realising this given half the time the actual government doesn't seem to understand the difference, TBF.

@Loonyloopylupin My home ed years are over and children at college/uni now! No more FB groups for me. I expect I'm out of touch. All the best to you and hope you find a good crowd.

You sound quite closed minded, my youngest was home educated for a few years, l am not into many of the things you mentioned but l respect others have a difference of opinion, isn't that part of the HE journey being open to different opinions?

Again, I don't mind if some of the parents are into these things, it's that all of them are. Does that seem diverse to you?

And I would argue that being so anti vax and anti science is the very definition of having a closed mind but there you are.

I’m sympathise. I grew up in bristol and some of my old friends are home educating and yes they are the more alternative types. I wouldn’t want to hang out with them and I definitely would want my children to meet the full spectrum of society, which is why I’m grateful that they have a good school to go to. Anyway, can you just sign them up for lots of fun things after school and in the holidays so that they (and you) can meet other tribes?

I think the issue is the intersection of Bristol and home ed, both will draw this sort of alternative crowd. I've found as kids get older they get more into their niche interests and we've met our own crowd through that. Otherwise it may be worth exploring groups further afield - you might find a different crowd.

On a different issue, it shocking to see how many comments have been deleted on this thread - certainly some intolerant folks out there 😳

OP, how about organising a group meet up somewhere lentil weavers would not usually frequent? Soft play? Football coaching? Tour of the local police station?

I'm stereotyping obviously but I bet you can think of somewhere local that's more mainstream and might attract a different crowd.

If you introduce yourself to people at a Home Ed group as a 'home schooler' they will definitely tell you that you are actually a 'home educator' and then repeat all of the above....

My son is fine socially, he has other friends at various groups for schooled children and also neighbours etc. It's more me, I'd love to have some fellow home educating parents I could speak to about the trials and tribulations of home educating who I felt I had certain values in common with me.

I hear ya, OP ♥

Maybe try to be a bit open minded, people don’t choose alternative therapies for the fun of it, they wind up there after getting nowhere with mainstream medicine. I tried a lot of alternative therapies myself with varying degrees of success, but I would have loved it if a Doctor could have just given me a diagnosis and some tablets and fixed everything

Ah OP, it can be tricky when we can't find our tribe.

I home ed in London and our friendship group is pretty diverse from hard-core radical unschoolers to more formal home educators with a timetable, atheist vs religious, anti-vax vs paid for all the extra vaccinations etc. I'm probably the one of the more "strict" home edders in our home ed groups- we use a Charlotte Mason approach but from a secular stand point, but while I respect that my children are "born persons" I also know they need guidance and boundaries.

I struggle with that sometimes. I once had a friend say "Oh you're one of those home educators" when I was discussing plans with a different friend. What has helped me personally is finding people who home educate like me online. I've joined fb groups/substack groups for my educational philosophy, as well as making friends with others on Instagram. It's not the same, but when we manage to meet up it's great, and we'll zoom regularly to catchup.

Wow! Some of these examples 😂
We are in the east midlands and actually there is a really good balance of people.
what about venturing a little further into another county to try some groups there?

I get seizures and because of them can't drive so travelling outside Bristol on a regular basis is a little tricky for me.

I highly doubt the antivaxxers who believe the government are trying to poison them have gone down the medical route prior to being cured by sound therapy.