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Home ed

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Original poster

Be honest, I want everyone's views......what do you think of home ed???

696 replies

3Ddonut · 16/02/2008 15:19

I suspect this may get nasty, but please try to keep it nice ladies (and gents) I really like the idea of home ed, I would dearly love to home ed my dc but there are some problems, firstly I work 3 nights a week and my dh works 2 full days,my eldest dd is 5 and she really loves school, but some of things that she says about school unsettle me, I always said that it is their choice if they want to go to school or not, which is why she is there and my ds is in nursery but I wish she'd want to stay home and the longer that she's there, the more I feel that we're wasting time...

I've read a lot of the other threads and see that you can do some home-ed stuff alongside school but I don't think that it's enough for me, I want them to remain interested and not be moved on from one thing too quickly or forced to spend time on things they dislike.

We're already a close family because of mine and dh's shifts there is nearly always someone in the house and we get to spend a lot of time with the kids. I suppose I'd just like it to be more of the same.

My main concerns are that the dc would resent us for it in the future (although I would not take a happy child out of school) I also worry about the effect of home ed-ing the children would have on future employers and university places, I do worry about the socialisation aspect although the kids are in a few groups and are very social, they interact well with adults as well as other children, I'm concerned about how much time I'd have to work with them with working full time myself (no opportunity to cut hours)

I'm going round in circles at the min, I think my ds would be more open to the idea and I'm considering not sending dd2 to nursery at all.

The other biggie is that the school they attend is out of area and it's a really good one, they wouldn't get back in there if we deregistered, I've considered flexi-schooling but I feel that would bring more problems than solutions....

OK, Open fire!!!

OP posts:
ahundredtimes · 23/02/2008 20:25

It was a sort of crap version of there Yurt, it used to have a similar philosophy but that all went up in smoke really. It's been closed down now. Good thing too.

Tamum · 23/02/2008 20:25

Gosh yes, that's a good point mb- I would always have done English, it wasn't until I was older that I realised I loved science. My mother would never have encouraged me to do anything science-y, she was always very keen that I do English.

ShrinkingViolet · 23/02/2008 20:26

you all type much quicker than me [stamps foot]

yurt1 · 23/02/2008 20:26

Oh did it begin a D?

Blandmum · 23/02/2008 20:27

Truly 'bad' teacher were more common when I was in school (60s and 70s) than now, I think.

Still too many.

Three reasons, lack of detailed subject knowledge in some, lack of ability to teach in others and plain old not liking kids enough .

ahundredtimes · 23/02/2008 20:28

I know the place you are thinking of. No, it didn't. But girls came from there to mine after their sex scandal!

Some people left my school for Bedales because they wanted a more structure environment. Ha ha ha.

I sound bitter, I'm not really, I caught up. It was fine, but it wasn't good enough.

yurt1 · 23/02/2008 20:28

I was never taught times tables (primary school in the 70's- we threw paint creatively) and I really wish I had been forced to. I still don't know them aged 37 (except the 9's which I can do on my hands) and it's actually a bit of a handicap. I think ds2's school will teach them but if not I'll be forcing ds2 and ds3

TheodoresMummy · 23/02/2008 20:29

'but there are autonomous educators who do allow their child to play computer games all day'

Yes, i'm sure there are. But it is a parenting issue rather that an educational one, isn't it ? Plenty of HE families and schooling families make parenting decisions that I would not make.

'many teenagers that I see follow patterns of very self destructive behaviour while they are maturing. I'm not sure I would aloow my children do do what they want if that were happeneing'

Could you elaborate a little MB ?

'I find the child-centered argument suspicious too. We all think our children are unique and special, but they are not.'

I would say that they are, every one of them. What's wrong with being happy ? What's wrong with (maybe) having a narrower field of knowledge if it leads to you to a job life that you are happy with ? If you need to be intellectually challenged to a high level to be fullfilled then you will seek that out for yourself.

Too many miserable people around who accept their situations because they are surrounded by people who are miserable and accept their situation...

Blandmum · 23/02/2008 20:29

Oh God, me too Yurt!

and spelling. My parents were told it would 'come'

It didn't. in spite of my 4 books a week reading habit, it never did.

ahundredtimes · 23/02/2008 20:29

God there are some AMAZING teachers at ds1's school tbh. Amazing. And this is a junior school.

They made top trumps on the computer for their rivers topic. Isn't that a brilliant idea? And they run photography competitions, and sketch book competitions and have lots of outings and activity weeks and oh, it's just the business.

yurt1 · 23/02/2008 20:29

there was a sex scandal??? tell me more!

I taught someone (by then in his 20's) who went to Bedales and he spent the whole time complaining that he should have been forced to work. He was bright and was more than capable of getting the grades he needed for med school but didn't in the end. It was interesting talking to him about Bedales though.

yurt1 · 23/02/2008 20:32

TM- but I think - from the impression I formed of free range education was letting children play on computer games all day if that's what they wanted - was autonomous education. And if you stepped in to stop the computer playing then you weren't being autonomous. I may have got that wrong- but it was how it was described- mainly when people were posting in a concerned way about the amount of computer game playing tbh- they seemed to be told that it was normal and OK and if you were being autonomous then fine to leave it to continue.

ahundredtimes · 23/02/2008 20:32

Yes, there are a lot of us I think. Children of the liberated education, desperately grabbing at books and trying to learn things. And then lots who don't have the inclination to grab the books - and they are interior decorators.

D had the sex scandal. We had drug busts. Lots of them. They flew in the High Mistress of St Paul's to try and sort it out and she threw her hands in the air and said 'Close the place down NOW.'

yurt1 · 23/02/2008 20:33

did you do ITA MB? I blame my poor spelling on ITA.

I can't throw paint creatively either....

Blandmum · 23/02/2008 20:33

re ''many teenagers that I see follow patterns of very self destructive behaviour while they are maturing. I'm not sure I would allow my children do do what they want if that were happening'

During teenage rebellion (which I think happens across the board, not in all children and not all to the same degree) some of the children that I work with will turn away from any work at all. Don't want to go into too many details, but I've seen them exhibiting very self destructive behaviours. Think your worst nightmare, and thetas it. Some teenagers are not competent to make rational decisions

yurt1 · 23/02/2008 20:33

PMSL @ 'close the place down'.

Bubble99 · 23/02/2008 20:35

HE seems to work for a lot of children who want to go on to higher education.

There are numerous accounts of HE children going on to uni, some without ever taking GCSEs and A levels. A lot seem to do OU courses as an access to uni.

How would that work, then? Would that put them in the same category as mature students wrt admissions?

ahundredtimes · 23/02/2008 20:37

They've specialized you see haven't they. Too early. It's not good.

TheodoresMummy · 23/02/2008 20:38

It's a tricky one (the computer games).

I would become concerned and would step in if I felt DS was becoming addicted. Then it's a parenting issue.

Thread is moving too fast.

Slow down ladies.

Blandmum · 23/02/2008 20:38

no, we did 'look and say'

Which wasn't quite as bad as ITA, but almost!

MicrowaveOnly · 23/02/2008 20:40

Can I just say it is a shame some of the HEdders on here feel other MNs are 'getting at them' and that they are wasting their breath telling us this same old stuff again...

because really this thread is fascinating and I think that's because us schooling parents hardly ever get a chance to meet HEdders, let alone have an intellectual debate on it. Its informative to read your views even though you maybe sick of repeating them!! I presonally 'get it' now when before I thought (like many ) that HEdding was for religious extremists and hippies.

ta v. much!

Blandmum · 23/02/2008 20:41

I don't think while you can say it is a a 'parenting' issue if you stop them playing a computer, you are no longer letting them be autonomous.

That would be like being almost a virgin, or a little bit pregnant!

TheodoresMummy · 23/02/2008 20:42

'Free Range' says to me - choose what you like, from anything. Doesn't nec mean that parents can't be involved.

I think that it suits my way of thinking very well.

ahundredtimes · 23/02/2008 20:44

Sorry TM, I didn't respond to your point earlier - too busy reminiscing about my crap education. Oh I think children should be happy yes, but I have no problem with them being bored or struggling to understand something difficult for them either. I think it's important perversely. Education is about learning, and it is also about intellectual activity and rigour and application.

Take ds2, dyspraxsic, useless at maths, but a genius reader. Highly articulate, funny, bit odd. Now, it won't make him happy to learn his times tables, or to have to try very hard at trying to write clearly. Not happy at all - but that's not good enough. He has to try. I always say to him 'it's not that you can't do this, you can, it might just take you longer.'

Or take me trying to play chess with ds1. It makes one side of my brain HURT, but I don't think I shouldn't do it. I think it's good for me!

MicrowaveOnly · 23/02/2008 20:44

and I need to type quicker!!!!!!!Catching up...

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