Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Original poster

Be honest, I want everyone's views......what do you think of home ed???

696 replies

3Ddonut · 16/02/2008 15:19

I suspect this may get nasty, but please try to keep it nice ladies (and gents) I really like the idea of home ed, I would dearly love to home ed my dc but there are some problems, firstly I work 3 nights a week and my dh works 2 full days,my eldest dd is 5 and she really loves school, but some of things that she says about school unsettle me, I always said that it is their choice if they want to go to school or not, which is why she is there and my ds is in nursery but I wish she'd want to stay home and the longer that she's there, the more I feel that we're wasting time...

I've read a lot of the other threads and see that you can do some home-ed stuff alongside school but I don't think that it's enough for me, I want them to remain interested and not be moved on from one thing too quickly or forced to spend time on things they dislike.

We're already a close family because of mine and dh's shifts there is nearly always someone in the house and we get to spend a lot of time with the kids. I suppose I'd just like it to be more of the same.

My main concerns are that the dc would resent us for it in the future (although I would not take a happy child out of school) I also worry about the effect of home ed-ing the children would have on future employers and university places, I do worry about the socialisation aspect although the kids are in a few groups and are very social, they interact well with adults as well as other children, I'm concerned about how much time I'd have to work with them with working full time myself (no opportunity to cut hours)

I'm going round in circles at the min, I think my ds would be more open to the idea and I'm considering not sending dd2 to nursery at all.

The other biggie is that the school they attend is out of area and it's a really good one, they wouldn't get back in there if we deregistered, I've considered flexi-schooling but I feel that would bring more problems than solutions....

OK, Open fire!!!

OP posts:
nkf · 23/02/2008 13:11

Are you in Devon? Or is it boarding? Looks interesting. Thanks.

yurt1 · 23/02/2008 13:14

I'm in Devon. There are quite a few alternative schools round here!

Blandmum · 23/02/2008 13:19

(and tell the truth than name is no accident either!.....I bet you knit lentils on the quiet )

TheodoresMummy · 23/02/2008 13:28

The primary linked to Sands is Park School.

Looking into it for DS.

Don't think Sands offer boarding.

Summerhill is predominantly boarding.

Yurt - what other alternative schools have you come across ?

SueBaroo · 23/02/2008 13:51

See, actually, this is a bit odd. This isn't a school vs HE thread now, it's more of a 'formal' vs 'autonomous' thread.

I think, generally speaking, we're far more formal than we are autonomous. So, either we have all the disadvantages of school and HE put together or we have all the advantages, depending on your POV

Blandmum · 23/02/2008 13:54

LOL

for those who 'autonomous' Hedders do you allow your children to decide what they want to eat each day?

If they want to sit and watch TV all day, do you let them?

terramum · 23/02/2008 14:57

yes & yes mb

I choose what I want to eat each day & I sometimes have days when all I want to do is veg out & watch tv - why can't DS?

AMumInScotland · 23/02/2008 15:34

SueBaroo - I'd noticed that too! And as an extremely formal HEdder, I've been avoiding posting on the basis that I'd almost certainly get shot by both sides of the debate... I mean, what on earth do I think I'm doing taking DS out of school and then using an internet school to recreate the formal learning environment?

juuule · 23/02/2008 15:40

Well I have no idea where I stand in all this. I have had 5 children go/going through the whole school system (1 at university, 1 working, 1 at college, 1 at secondary and 1 at primary) , I've 3 who started in the school system but are now home-ed. I've 1 who has never been to school.
The home-ed ones we are part formal and part autonomous with.
So, I'll probably be shot by everyone

AMumInScotland · 23/02/2008 15:49

It does make for quite an odd debate - schools (which vary quite a lot), teachers (who vary even more), children (who vary most of all I suspect), and HE parents (who vary in their style of HE, and change over time as they try things out)... moving targets anyone?

nkf · 23/02/2008 15:54

AmuminScotland. You're so right. But I think everyone has these cliches in their heads about each of those elements.

discoverlife · 23/02/2008 15:55

To MB, if he really does want to veg out I will let him, but I usually find that the vegout is the first sign of a cold or something. I usually do a quick check of do you fancy (trampolining, riding your bike, playing a game with me on the PC, want me to read with you), if that works he just wanted a bit of direction. Which means, yes I know, that sometimes children do need the occasional push. But I am here, I know it, I am not living in Timbuctoo, I can address the problem straight away. If he wants to eat something different for his lunch, he can get it himself, he has to learn to cook, you know.
Evening dinner is a family meal, but if I am out of idea's or don't fancy anything in particular I will open debate about whats to be cooked.

discoverlife · 23/02/2008 15:56

sometimes should have been sometimes

Cam · 23/02/2008 16:09

"But I think everyone has these cliches in their heads about each of those elements."

I disagree with that.

I think most people (certainly everyone on this thread) are fully aware that their children are organic beings

My dd is in a private school that was very carefully chosen according to her abilities and needs and I have constantly evaluated the situation.

Blandmum · 23/02/2008 16:12

So if they want to eat sweets all day , you let them?

nkf · 23/02/2008 16:12

Of course we know our children are individuals! I think that people have cliches in their heads about homeschooling, state schools, alternative schools etc...

yurt1 · 23/02/2008 16:12

ah now amuminscotland & SueBaroo you're talking about the sort of home ed I was looking at. In fact ds1's special needs are too severe for me to deal with alone and he can't be taught with siblings milling round. We run a part time home programme around school - 1:1 - I suppose very formal but it's teaching things like imitation and now working on literacy. And his special school offers him experiences we couldn't. Should the school ever become unavailable with no alternative - which is always possible- we would consider home ed again, but it would be expensive, would need tribunal for the LEA to pay and would require a team of probably at least 3 or 4 tutors.

Other alternative schools? The 2 steiner ones I guess, Park school was indeed the one I was thinking of, Barrendoch (? think it's called that) in E Devon I think and one the other day again whose name I can't remember.

Blandmum · 23/02/2008 16:14

and is answer to your question as an adult you can make a fully reasoned decision. I don't think that children can.

The lack the maturity of the frontal cortex to let them fully understand cause and effect.

If your 14 year old wanted to start smoking, would you let them?

terramum · 23/02/2008 16:21

He'd have a hard time finding them in the house & he's too young to be going down the road in his own to buy them just yet . But yes if he wants a biscuits then I get him one - if he wants an apple he helps himself to the fruit bowl. He has always had the choice of what he could eat & when since he was born & he eats a pretty good balanced diet - apples, bananas etc are asked for more often than biscuits.

There was a study done that showed if you offered children a wide variety of foods & let them eat what they want they do eat a good diet....will try & find the details if I have time later.

discoverlife · 23/02/2008 16:27

MartinBishop we are not abrogating all of our parental responsibilities.

Blandmum · 23/02/2008 16:42

I don't think that you are either. So we would all agree, then, that children do need guidance, that totally 'free range' is not really a viable option, given the proclivity of children to not have the full information requited to make good choices?

If your child decided that they didn't want to learn any maths at all you would step in, yes? If they just wanted to play a computer game?

If so you are guiding them, and limiting their choices.

I don't think that this is a bad thing at all, but it brings you closer to the world of structured learning than I think would be freely admited by some

discoverlife · 23/02/2008 16:45

Cricky this is getting silly again. My son plays a computer game that is a MATHS tuition. You do not need to sit them down with pen and paper for children to learn.

Blandmum · 23/02/2008 16:47

It depends on the computer game.

Mine play maths attack, and that is educational.

Ds playing his Lord of the rings game isn't. (and yes I know that typing and mouse control can be taught by playing game, but he knows that already.)

discoverlife · 23/02/2008 17:01

Actually it is maths attack.

juuule · 23/02/2008 17:09

MB - What is it that you are trying to pin down? I don't HE fully autonomously so couldn't explain properly how it works. However, Julienoshoes has posted lots of links which would help you to understand autonomous education.
What is it that you are saying we are agreeing that children need guidance on?
Because I guide my children, why is that limiting their choices?