a) No. You do not have to accept a visit or phone call. You can instruct them that you wish to you all communicating in writing
b) the only thing you HAVE to do is an Ed Phil. there are sample ones you can get ideas from on the EO website and probably some on the HE-UK website too.
Some people are happy to write a summary of what they do each day (eek! too often for me!) or each week or each month. The good thing about this is that you can put an educational spin on things you did. The other good thing about it is that it doesn't compromise your child's privacy or interfere with their learning (there might be a difference between doing a page of sums because you feel like it, and doing a page of sums which mum keeps, and doing a page of sums which mum keeps for the LEA person - each of those steps might ratchet up the anxiety for the child and stop it being fun. Or not. Follow the child). But it is worth watching out that in the moment you arn't thinking "ooh, this is a times tables opportunity, I can put that in the report" and then pushing the conversation into times tables testing mode because you're so busy thinking about how "educational" this is that you've stopped listening. I'm not criticising you, discoverlife, it's more like, this is the way I tend to go off the rails, yk?
some people are happy to produce a portfolio of the child's work to show the LEA. Some are not.
some are happy for the LEA person to meet the child. Some children are not happy with that, some parents are not happy with that. It's very clear in the government guidelines (which you have printed off and wear next to your heart, yes?) that LEAs do NOT have the right to visit your home and do NOT have the right to meet your children and that this is not grounds for welfare concerns. (Just as we all have a right not to have our 3 year olds visited by state officials just because they aren't in an institution all day - they are in parental care, and this, by law, has to be assumed to be adequate unless there are grounds for believing otherwise)
Yes "Better than the school could do" would do very nicely
There's no way they can ask for a report yet. You are still recovering, all of you.
When they contact you, I'd send them an Ed Phil and tell them that of course you can't send a report yet, you've only just started. Politely decline the home visit, and wait to see what they say. I'd guess that in 6 months they'll ask for a report.
Quite a common tactic at the moment on the email lists seems to be to write an Ed Phil and report first time, wait for the LEA to send back the "satisfactory" response and then, when they write again, you say "I sent you an Ed Phil last year, which has not changed. I sent you a report and you pronounced my provision satisfactory. If you have grounds for believing that my provision is no longer satisfactory, please tell me what they are and I'll respond to them. Otherwise, I will continue educating my children rather than filling in your paperwork."
Only said more politely than that.