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Home ed

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Original poster

katylyle tell us why you'd not HE your children please

130 replies

BeNimble · 07/07/2007 22:59

my children are preschool yet though i'm serious about HE

OP posts:
IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 08/07/2007 11:12

Hi Anna!

ATM we are trying to extract some info from someone who experienced HE first hand.

I think this has been a prety good and informative thread please help us not to make a debate out of it

Anna8888 · 08/07/2007 11:15

Isabel - "tell us why you'd not HE your children please"

I answered your question... if you don't want answers, why do you post?

VioletBaudelaire · 08/07/2007 11:33

This thread was started as a direct request to katylyle, after she made an offer to recount her HE experiences on another thread.

Judy1234 · 08/07/2007 11:45

It wasn't exactly an extreme comment. It was almost what was said originally - it teaches you to conform, to sit still, do as you're told. Obviously you learn a lot of other things too. I'm not against HE at all. It's parents' choice. But I think school does teach you to comply with instructions - lots of children obey their teachers more than their mothers and how to get on with people you dislike on a day to day basis as you will have in the rest of your life.

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 08/07/2007 11:46

Sigh* Anna...I didn't know you were Katelyte too

Ok, back to where we were...

Judy1234 · 08/07/2007 11:49

I suspect it's rather hard in a public forum and a bit dull to instruct that only the person to whom the thread is addressed is allowed to post on it.

fillyjonk · 08/07/2007 11:51

ok heres the thing

the thread was an attempt to get someone who has actually experienced being home educated to give her views. Thats why it had her name in the title.

she has very kindly done this and it has certainly given me food for thought

To hear the same old ideas from people who have never experienced HE is just not mahoosively helpful really. Thats surely what inlaws are for.

lemonaid · 08/07/2007 11:52

Mmm, but the point of the thread was for katelyle (who was HEd herself) to explain why she wouldn't HE her own children. I suspect that HEdders already know, in tiresome detail, the reasons that lots of other people without personal experience wouldn't HE their children.

ShrinkingViolet · 08/07/2007 11:55

LOL fillyjonk - my inlaws pretend that the whole HE thing just isn't happening, and (I think) informed the rest of the relatives that it must never be mentioned in front of ShrinkingViolet

EBAB · 09/07/2007 00:49

Thanks, Kate. Dp and I have found your posts insightful, and they've helped refuel our ongoing but flagging shall-we-or-shall-we-not-home-ed discussions.

Interesting stuff. Thanks again.

singingmum · 09/07/2007 12:08

Katylyle
I was school ed and hated it.I can tell you what school taught me.
1)Never have an interest that is not the same as everyone else.If you do you will be bullied for it.
2)Never have an opinion,it's always wrong and the teachers opinion is always right(even when you can prove they are wrong)
3)If you can't learn something because it's difficult you are a waste of the schools time
4)Children who have probs or a re different should neither be seen or heard
5)If you are bad at sport then you are obv stupid idiot who will never go anywhere in life
6)If you have a will to learn,curb it as you must wait for the rest of the class to catch up.
7)you have to respect teachers/others for their thoughts and beliefs but a teacher does'nt have to show you any respect at all.
8)You can be sent to the head for silly things such as not bowing youre head in prayer(even if the teacher knows you have permision to be excused this because of you're religion)or dropping a book and it making a noise.
I have probs with a lot of the stuff you do now.It has not a lot to do with your education as much as you may feel it does.

ahundredtimes · 09/07/2007 12:17

erm, are we having a debate or not? Or are we just nodding in the darkness, keeping quiet and absorbing information (bit like school sort of thing)?

Kewcumber · 09/07/2007 12:20

not wanting to get shot down in flames but some semi-personal experience...

my neice was home edded for a while afetr being bullied in school (from about 10-12 ish). I wouldn;t home ed my DS (apart from teh obvious reason that I have to work) because I just think she got a very good education and she never really caught up.

Maths and English fair along with history, some science OK as my brother is pretty scientific. languages appalling as she was limited to languages they could speak (ie none fluently)

She went back into a different school at 12 and settled fine - but was very behind in almost all subjects. She worked hard to catch up in most but the school said she was just too far behind in languages to take them for GCSE and she really wanted to tkae German - she just couldn't catch up in every subject and something had to give.

Her education was biased towards things that my brother or SIL liked or knew and didn't discover until too late that she liked things they hadn't even considered.

She scraped through her GCSE's but seems happy enough now.

Don't think they were the best home edders perhaps though. Think they underestimated how much time you have to spend and how disciplined you have to be - if she didn't want to do it, often she didn't do it and had no home work because otherwide she'd have been cooped up at home most of the day and the evening too.

I felt very strongly about it at the time as I felt they reduced her options and the bullying could have been dealt with another way.

Kewcumber · 09/07/2007 12:21

I just DON'Tthink she got a very good education

juuule · 09/07/2007 12:27

"and had no home work " rofl.

Kewcumber · 09/07/2007 12:32

what do yuou call it when they're home ed'ed? Additional work? Whatever - she probably did about half the hours that school ed would have given - allowing for one to one attention that probably made up 25% of that she was still 25% behind in terms of volume over a two year period.

As I say, I don't think they were great at home edd'ing, no doubt others would make a better job of it.

singingmum · 09/07/2007 12:34

Kewcumber He'ers don't give homework as homework is the stuff they don't have time to fully teach in school most of the time.Also HE'ers use life as a classroom and therefore there is often no particular sign of education when actually they are learning all the time.Sad for you niece that it obv wasn't good time for her.Most HE dc's are happy and I myself have always told my dc's if they wish to give school a go they can and always I get a resounding NO way.Thats how much they enjoy HE.
Also I am not fluent in any language but english and my dc's are learning French and Spanish as well as learning to sign spell both american and british so that they can at least communicate if slowly with deaf people they may meet(I learned the BSL alphabet when younger and found it useful when I met a boy who was deaf as I could speak with him).I learn alongside them and they think it is brilliant that I do this.

Kewcumber · 09/07/2007 12:44

as I say - I dont think her parents were very good at it. She was happy though. Just not very well educated. I don't assume thats the case with all HE btw, just my experience of her's. My advice if asked was always to be clear about the dedication it takes from a parent - they were not at all prepared - they did it to solve one problem and just created another. She did eventually ask to go back to school as she was bored at home.

singingmum · 09/07/2007 12:49

Not having a go Kew just saying that is how a lot of he'ers work.
I have chosen to be a SAHM to be able to HE full time,neccesary as my ds is almost 13 and my dd is 7.Two diff levels to teach can be a little complicated,ie. magic e and sex ed don't really go well when you have them both asking for help at same time if you feel run down at all.Can have funny consequenses

Kewcumber · 09/07/2007 13:01

its ok I didn;t think you were having a go. I know my views are very biased having watched their version of HE.

Blandmum · 09/07/2007 15:41

singingmum

you said
'Kewcumber He'ers don't give homework as homework is the stuff they don't have time to fully teach in school most of the time.'

I'm afrid that this is a generalisation.

I teach and this is not why I set homework.

I set homework to re-inforce, to extend, to expand and to check understanding.

While I understand that HEdders get fed up with people making sweeping genealisations made by people who don't fully understand the stsyem, so do school teachers.

I'm really sorry that you suffered from crap teachers, from what it is worth I did too. But we are not all the same. Some of us work damn hard to turn round the low expectations that some teachers leave people with.

meandmyflyingmachine · 09/07/2007 15:42

MB. I was coming here to post the exact same comment

doobypoo · 09/07/2007 15:52

Hi all..interesing reading your posts katelyle.We are home edding at the moment but have lots of worry about it.However,we new that school was not right for him[well ds made the choice]He loved his school in the UK[fee paying]but over here[Ireland]...he just seemed to regress.It is not just about the academic side for us.Ds does enjoy schooley type workWe feel it is important for him to learn how to learn..ifyswim and take some responsibility for it all too and not just accept everything he is told at face value.He is nearly 8 now and may decide he wants to go to secondary school so we shall have to see.I went to many schools as a child.From quite strict ones to crap ones and to one where you didn't have to go to lessons if you didn't want to and students had a real input in the running of the school.Anyway,i digress...interesting thread and thanks for sharing your thoughts.

doobypoo · 09/07/2007 15:54

knew...must be the keyboard

fillyjonk · 09/07/2007 19:05

I am HEing until MB moves back to wales...