Katef, I actually feel thrilled to have my daughter slowly returning to us and simultaneously saddened and ashamed that we didn't realise the extent to which she had changed.
I haven't been able to access the net for 4 weeks so would just like to update everyone who has been supportive on our progress if that's ok?
I'm truly not exaggerating when I say that everyone is much calmer, the house is full of laughter, including mine which is lovely, and you know what, I am getting time to myself which I did worry about.
We are taking each day as it comes and seeing how we feel. We're winging it atm and it feels liberating. The house is amazingly relaxed and she has started to ask questions again after 4 weeks away from school. Dh and I almost cried the night we sat discussing this issue and how she was changing back. She is deciding what to do atm and we are not trying to push any curriculum at all. She will almost everyday choose to read though and asks to do some number work, however what she is interested in is way above the level she was doing in school that we conclude that she was very bored at school.
We always thought she was pretty crap at colouring in, never taking as much pride as the other kids in her work, until she asked if I could buy a colour by numbers book with pens, which I did last week. She chose the pictures she wanted to do and produced the most beautifully coloured art I have ever seen her do, she was so proud of herself and cut it out with wiggly scissors which framed it nicely. Dh was blown away when he got in from work and she showed him, it was another wonderful moment and has almost convinced us to go with a more autonomous approach than we had previously planned.
We've finished the John Holt books, which I have to say, have profoundly affected our views of how we will go about HE'ing. We know for certain that we have made the right decision. The LA have contacted us to let us know they know about us iykwim, and will contact us in due course apparently.
Finally, when I used to pick her up from school I would always ask her what she had done that day and the answer, no matter which way I enthusiastically phrased the question, was always a pause and then "I can't remember". She could always spontaneously tell me what she had eaten for lunch, as if trying to answer the question in some small way.
Today her Dad asked her what had she done today and she told him, I played with my brother, I read 3 books (gave the titles) and learned hundreds, tens and units. He asked her what she had had for dinner and she said she couldn't actually remember. Howzzat!!
I have 2 very happy children, 1 happy husband and a sense of hope & adventure about the whole journey. Maybe it's the pg hormones, but damn life feels good atm.