what are my kids missing by not attending mainstream school

[redberries]

I have a four and six year old I'm constantly being told they are deprived because I home ed

Flicktheswitch

I do.

Before we went for online school I press ganged BIL (ex science teacher) into service over skype. Now, as before, I do swapsies with HE friendly Italian speaking teachers, where they tutor my kid in their subject and I teach their kids English.

Before online school DS did the state standadisation annual exams at his for er school in the summer (which is different in England, I think in England you get offered an interview?). I only stopped that the summer before he went to online school. In part because they wanted him to do the written exams AND be interrogated by a formal panel of many teachers in all seventy squillion subjects. Just him on a chair in front of all of them while one by one they quizzed him orally for their subject. In part because a couple of the teachers on the intended panel were waxing lyrical in DS's former class to all his mates how they fully expected to fail him and how HE was basically skivving and his mother had wierd "forrin" ideas and anyway IT'S ILLEGAL! not to go to school!! . Of course his mates fell over themselves all agog to tell DS this, and he got in a right state. So I exercised my constitutional right to tell them to stick it. I wanted him tested, not used as a proxy for flaming me for my rejection of the Italian state system. That year I just stuck to testing him myself with past INVALSI papers (like SATS)

In English, before online school, I used past SATS papers (Eng/Maths/Sci), beginning of the year, midpoint and end, so we both had objectives and could measure how things were going. He liked that a lot. He really enjoyed comparing how much easier it felt and how much more he got right from beginning to end of the year.

It's a tricky thing tutors and testing. I'm lucky, I have a comparable skill I can barter. Not everybody does and it can be cost prohibitive if you only option is cold, hard cash. Plus testing... you have to have a basis of trust that the child is being tested objectively with no agenda. I think while gossiping about intended ever so slightly punitive testing with a child's best friends in class is a quite extreme example of an agenda, many people who turn to HE have had a bit of a rocky ride with school/LEA and may not feel that any assessment offered would have "pure" intensions. Which may be why it's not all that popular.

Perhaps if you HE you don't realise that those who send to school get questioned on their choice of school. There are always those who question others, it is insecurity, they are worried that they are not doing the best thing! There is no need whatsoever to get drawn in. It is just like the competitive mummy, make a bland, friendly, but dismissive comment, change the subject and don't engage.

"I have utmost respect for those who choose to Home Ed as I don't think I'd be motivated enough."

I agree. I don't understand why any home educator thinks that home educating is easier than sending a child to school. DD is 13 and there is no way I want to do all the hard work required to teach her. Besides, we would fight all the time.

DC and I joke about which of us would murder the other first. We are thankful we never put it to the test!

I see threads on here from parents struggling with, getting young children into school without crying, finding correct uniform that the child is happy to where, getting to school on time, children being tired and grumpy after school, making children do reading after tea, not being able to take the holidays they want and on and on and I wonder how anyone could think standing a child to school is easier than home educating.

My DD does not believe there are children that are not interested in everything, she thinks I make it up as a joke.

As for them being "home" a lot, I don't know of any home edders that are in there own home from 9 tell 3 Monday to Friday.

This week DD has been bowling, rainbows, home ed group, pe club stately home and tomorrow is going to friends house.
So not at "home" all that much.

Most of those problems didn't apply to me bebanjo. I only have one child so the morning logistics weren't a problem. The tired and grumpy after school were down to hunger that I manged to stave off.

I still think that anyone who can successfully home educate their children is a genius and I take my hat off to them.

You have to bear in mind that people post with problems. If their child is happily skipping off to school and isn't in the least grumpy they don't mention it!
If you took posts on MN as normal life you would get a skewed view of life. e.g. People post about problem MILs , they don't bother if they love them to bits!

i know what your saying sandals, but i here it i real life all the time.
at the bus stop, in shops, taking DD to rainbows and of course friends with children at school.

i do believe there are some children that absolutely love school and everything about it and i know it works for some family s.
don't want to come across as big school hater.

i think its just the misconception that home edding your own children has to be hard work. you can make it that way but most of us have a great time. like being on a permanent 6 week holiday.

But for me it would be hard work. DD is in year 9. She will be starting her GCSE courses next year. I simply don't have the knowledge or skills to get her through them.

All different as I keep saying, I enjoy holidays because they are different, I would hate a permanent one.

As an ex-home-edder with a kid in a fee paying boarding school, and another in a free school I can say without a doubt that I definitely had my decision to home educate disected more aggresively by people more often than my choice to send them to school. Despite me having my kids in odd school choices this is easier for people to accept than my home educating them.

Different things work for different people at different times in their lives.

For me home ed was significantly easier and cheaper than we are finding school. Home ed was getting trickier as the kids got older, but it wasn't insurmountable.
For a lot of my friends school is easier and better for them.

Good point, things that are easier at one point in your life may be more difficult at another. Flexibility is the key, things are never static.

Why did you stop home educating Banjo?

A number of reasons, but essentially it boils down to the fact that this was best for the kids.

Home ed is totally unregulated so the education gained can be very inadequate. The parents may be doing it to satisfy their own odd agenda. There's nothing to stop an over protective parent isolating themself and their child, who does not have friends or contact with anyone outside the family.
There's nothing to stop a parent raising a very deprived child who knows next to nothing.

Yes, parents can isolate themselves and their children. I guess it does sometimes happen, and of course we wouldn't be aware of it (since we are aware of the HEers who do have contact outside the family, by definition).

But I disagree with the rest of your assertions, thesixteenthtry.

Parents have a legal obligation to ensure that their children are receiving an education suitable to their age, ability, aptitude and any SEN they may have, at school or otherwise.

OFSTED is supposed to be there to ensure that such an education is being received by children whose parents choose to put them into school (although, actually, no parent has ever been prosecuted for putting their child in a school that was failing to meet their needs, although they could be prosecuted for it in theory. Of course the law makers are very careful to make sure that responsibility remains with the parents, because otherwise the State would get sued when children commit bullying related suicide etc etc etc).

A LA is legally entitled to ask a family for information about the home education they are providing. If they do not receive evidence that suggests it is suitable to A,A,A,SEN, the LA can (and do) take the family to court. There ARE legal protections to "stop a parent raising a very deprived child who knows next to nothing".

Yes, parents can have odd agendas. Some of us think the state has a pretty odd agenda in a lot of its pedagogical ideology (yes, Mr Gove, I'm looking at you). We'd rather educate our children in harmony with our own family's values rather than those of a bunch of random people who are teaching in schools. While the family remains the core unit of our culture, what's wrong with that? Home Educators are obliged to "prepare their children for life within the community of which they are part". It's not quite those words but that's the gist. I don't remember whether it's in the law or whether it's in the guidelines for LA's on Elective Home Education. But it is a very good reminder that the State has no business claiming that only one set of values is acceptable within its borders (and I think that part of the legislation was put in to avoid discriminating against Gypsy/Roma people among others)

I just think that you have to accept that schools have the whole range from excellent to dire and HE has the same range. It is just a matter of luck to the child what they get.

And sixteenths post explains why home educators are often very defensive. Though it wasn't directly aimed at any individual it is the sort of general comment we get levelled at us all the time, regardless of the truth of the matter.

I wouldn't criticise anyone whose HE children were prepared for a normal life of friendships, co operation, work. I just think that there should be a safety net for those who are not. It shouldn't be "a matter of luck" if a child is raised so that they cannot ever form ralationships with others or work for their living.

There is a safety net. A proper legal one, with State employed officials empowered to do the necessary checks to make sure that children are receiving an education suitable to their A A A + SEN. Like I said in my last post. So that's ok, right? :)

It is however rather sad that some parents would prefer not to have checks,rather than celebrating what they do.

Huh? A home educating family can't turn down being checked on if an LA wants to check. Well, they can turn it down, but they seriously risk getting pulled into court by a LA saying there's no evidence of an education taking place. A home educating family CAN, however, choose the form in which to present the evidence of the education taking place, as long as it shows there is an education.

Am I being dim? I'm not seeing any lack of "celebration" here, although quite possibly a preference for "celebrating" in person with people the family knows and trusts, and providing evidence at one remove to the LA when required. Can you think of why we might think it is not the wisest course to invite a local authority employee into our homes in order to "celebrate" with us and our children the education we are providing? We are educational dissidents, however naice and middle class we are. We are very vulnerable to State power, in a way that people who are not dissidents cannot usually imagine - and yes, we live in a lovely benevolent democracy, but state employees are not always on the side of the people they are supposed to be serving!

If you are proud of what you are doing, why not show it? They don't have to allow an inspector in, they can do a report and not see the child. It is much more successful if they are friendly, one family I know have the man in for lunch and he is lovely, some families never find out how lovely he is and they make his job very difficult.
Surely you are HEing because you think it better than school so why not be really proud and want to show off and 'celebrate'?