Support thread for new home educators

[ToffeeWhirl]

There seem to be a lot of us around at the moment, so I thought it might help us all to have a place where we can swap ideas, chivvy each other along on the bad days and cheer for each other on the good days.

I have two boys, the oldest is 12 and is just starting out in home education. My youngest is 6 and is still at school. Fortunately for me, he has just told me he's missing school and looking forward to going back .

We have had a good summer, with lots of dog walking, excursions, get-togethers with friends and family and minimal rules on television watching and computers. I have had a lovely time ordering books for our home ed library (failed to reign myself in on this ) and planning what we are going to study .

The plan at the moment is for DS1 to do a bit of Science, Maths and English every morning. He has a tutor for English once a week and we are going to get him a Maths tutor too. We will spend the rest of the time doing projects, reading together, practising handwriting, art, etc etc. Fridays are going to be 'free' days for informal learning, such as excursions.

I have been in touch with the local HE groups and we are planning to meet up with other HE families.

I'm spending some time today organising everything - plans, timetables, files, folders, lapbooks, etc. We have a visit from the LEA next Thursday, which gives me a good deadline to work towards.

I would love to hear how the rest of you newbies are getting on. And words of wisdom from the more experienced home educators are very welcome too!

Hello Colleger.

I just re read my last post to you and realised it could be interpreted as I was accusing you of being one of the pushy mums. This couldn't be further from my mind as I have always read your posts regarding music and realised this wasn't like you at all.

I am having a hard time atm and questioning the whole H.ed position. I know deep down we made the right choice but have realised what we have let ourselves in for. I think dds difficulties are worse than we first feared, I knew she struggled. On a positive there is some break through in Maths even though slowly there is improvement. I am completely at wits end with English though and we are considering an assessment as it is seeming quite severe. I think if we had specifics I could help her better and also if she goes into the ed system for high school it will help, I think. Poor kid is feeling very insecure now and practising music at the cost of everything else, which can't be healthy. We have been out with friends all half term though, so lots of parties and play dates.

morethan - sorry you are struggling at the moment. My DS1 has had two assessments by an educational psychologist and they were both very useful, particularly the first, which highlighted his areas of weakness and gave suggestions about how we could help him. From that point we knew that he had an exceptionally poor short-term memory and this meant we understood why he seemed so disobedient (he simply didn't remember the instructions).

I think the best thing about an assessment is that it gives you a guidance on how to help your child with his/her areas of weakness.

Got to put DS2 to bed now or I would have written more. Hope you aren't feeling too down.

gives you guidance, I mean. Tsk tsk. Not proofreading before posting.

Hi Morethanpotatoprints!

I is thick skinned so didn't even notice any implications! Don't stress!

I'm exhausted. I'm a taxi driver and the dark days are not helping. DS is now swimming five days a week and his music practice is voluminous. We haven't done any work and I'm not sure why we can't even fit ten minutes in here or there. Something will have to give but I'm thinking that we probably won't get organised until after Easter now.

Bassoon is going well. His new teacher is fantastic and I feel so fortunate to have DS under his tutelage. DS is going to start JD in January as a break for me! but it does tie our weekends to London even more. He keeps talking about starting trumpet lessons but I cannot possibly have anymore instruments, especially that one, in the house!

Colleger

Ha Ha.

Sounds like he's really got the music bug. I guess its a bit easier when they are in school because you can give the old talk on not enough time for practice and being committed to the said instruments. At home there isn't really that excuse anymore.
DDs saxophone is coming on leaps and bounds as you'd expect, but as she is so little dh is teaching middle and upper registers first rather than middle and lower as her hands can't stretch that far yet. He reckons though if she grows enough she will be ready for gr3 in a year. She has gr2 singing next month and gr3 violin after xmas but not sure of date yet. Finally her throat has improved and although taking it steady she has done some practice today.
Question: What was the standard like at your jd when you visited. I hear some say its not what they publish and varies alot e.g dc gets a place with gr3 others refused at gr5/6.

It depends on a number of things:

Instrument spaces so double bass may get in at a lower grade.
Grades do not matter. They are more interested in musicality and tone.
For violin and piano the odds are grade 8 by 11.
Large wind - maybe only grade 3.

She's still tiny isn't she? She's definitely on target with saxophone. Would the clarinet not have been easier for her age and strength?

Hi Toffee, I'm new to HE - just starting this week. My DS is 11 and HFA and school is just too much. I have been reading all the tips on MN and trying to put things together and make some kind of plan, but it's a bit overwhelming ATM. I thought it would be great to have control.....

My DS loves Minecraft, he is currently constructing a castle on it to show how the defences were constructed- it being 'educational, you know!'

Hello Itchy.

If its any consolation I made plans and they have all gone by the wayside now. The best advice I could give would be to take things easy for a while until you establish what your ds likes and what you want to achieve. I am letting dd work at her own pace now and it is helping.
I think deschooling is important if your ds has had any trauma or upset from school and I know many here advocate it.
Good luck, best wishes and Welcome.

Colleger.

I know what you mean about clarinet, its a bit smaller in hand span but still very long for 8 year old. Also she doesn't like them really although she has tried mine. She had a go on dhs flute tonight and managed a couple of notes. They both looked at me like lost kittens and I said NO in the most determined voice I could muster .

Hi Itchy. It must be a great relief to have made the decision to home educate if your son was having a difficult time at school. As more says, your DS probably needs a complete break at first. We deregistered at the end of the last school year, so DS1 had the summer break to relax.

My own DS has TS, OCD and strong ASD traits and was like a square peg in a round hole in the school system. We deregistered him when he was 12 (he's 13 now).

Most experienced home edders tell us newbies not to invest in too many workbooks as they tend to end up gathering dust on the shelf, but I have found them quite useful. I try to get DS to do Maths, English and Science every day, but I keep the lessons short. We fit in other subjects as and when we can. I am also trying to help DS learn life skills - managing money, doing chores round the house, etc.

It's great that your DS loves Minecraft. It is very creative and inventive and I know my own DS finds it relaxing to play. It's also a good way of making friends, especially for boys who find it difficult to just sit and chat.

more - I hope you are feeling a bit more positive about your DD now. You sounded very worried a few days ago. Are you still considering an assessment? (Did you see my earlier post re getting an assessment?).

Well, I haven't done any structured work with DS1 this week. DS2 ended up being off school for two days as well and DS1 won't work with him there, so it was easier to just delay the start of 'lessons' till next week. DS2, on the other hand, was desperate to start being home educated and we ended up doing loads of stuff together - spelling, reading, Maths, etc. DS1 had a brilliant Maths lesson with his new tutor, who is proving really good with him, and also loved his farm therapy this week.

We have also been watching 'Upstairs, Downstairs' in the evenings and reached the World War I episodes, which has led to lots of conversations with DS1 about the war. DH brought out his grandfather's album of postcards that he sent from the Front and his medals for serving in the war and DS1 was genuinely interested. I don't know whether we should switch to studying World War I altogether (I was doing the Tudors with him), or should continue with the Tudors, but put more emphasis on the warfare aspect, as that intrigues him most. Hmm.

Next week is busy because I have my mother coming to convalesce after an operation and I have the preparations for DS2's birthday party. I suspect DS1 and I will be doing a lot of baking together (lots of Maths involved in that though!).

Am wondering how on earth to fit in home ed with the rest of life this week . Looks like DS1 will be getting a lot of 'life skills' practise.

Sounds like a perfect home ed week Toffee! :D

You may be right, Colleger . I am getting a bit desperate in regard to the work DS has been doing (or not doing) since half term ended - so desperate that when he completed the Ultimate Zombie Apocalypse Survival Quiz today, I printed it out for our home ed file. (DS and I decided that it covered life skills and science ).

I am taking more notice of DS1's emotional/mental health at present, rather than his education, and it is good to see how much better he is in himself (apart from a blip over half-term, which was probably down to the change in routine). He is so much better than he was nearly a year ago, when he first stopped going to school. He told me today that he witnessed a lot of physical fights at school, which really scared him. He didn't feel it was a safe place . He didn't tell me at the time.

My son is definitely feeling happier and more comfortable. He does still go back to his old school attitude when first coming across new peers but on the whole he is less image and attitude conscious. Phew!

We are doing practically no academic work. It's music practice, reading, Xbox, social groups (12.5 hours) and swimming. Something needs to change but for probably this and the next term we will plod along like this.

Sounds idyllic, Colleger. No wonder he's happier.

After all, what is the point of home educating if you can't enjoy the freedom it entails?

It's not idyllic. I have some inner tension about not doing maths, let alone other subjects but we just seem to run out of time.

Had a reasonable HE day yesterday but, with 20 days to go until our move, things are getting stressy.

I am also at a loss to know how to teach DD to properly check answers. She did a maths test and could easily have got 70% but she got 20% because of a lot if silly mistakes (subtracting 2324 instead of 2321, decimal point in the wrong place etc.). I am tearing my hair out!!

Well I am planing on getting started this week with some work for ds (13). It's been a month since I took him out of school and he's getting board now, so we went for a day out today. Went to cardiff museum, ds liked the train ride and pizza hut. The museum didn't go so well, ds has the attention span of a 3yr old. He did learn that there were once volcanoes in Wales, so I suppose not a complete waste of time lol.

Hello Toffee.

Sorry I did get your post, I was just side tracked for a bit and forgot to get back. many thanks. I think we will go ahead with an assessment because I just know she's not quite right iykwim. Her work is improving but the same old problems are there all the time. You can explain something, she can do examples herself, you can recap what youv'e done but half an hour later she's not only forgotten, but its like you never spoke. I guess the best way to describe her is not there, sort of in a fog. Her own flippin planet where nobody understands the way she thinks at all. Ho hum.
Anyway, have done some maths, place/ value and we did English nouns, adjectives, verbs and some spelling plus sentences. A fun game sorting the words into their categories, she seemed to enjoy.
I have downloaded lots of sheets on the same subject e.g 25 for place/value with the logic of more practice meaning the info staying between one ear and the other .
I love her to bits, and am feeling more confident now I'm being pro active. But I am so knackered Wow and also glad we decided to H.ed as she would be getting no extra support from school as she wasn't below average.

Helen I know your frustration.

Hi, Foxy. Have just noticed (a month late) that you asked what a Raspberry Pi is: it's a little computer that you have to build and programme yourself. It was devised in response to concerns that children are very good at using computers, but they don't learn how to programme.

morethan - sounds like a good idea to get DD assessed as you will then know her strengths and weaknesses and how to help her. Sorry you are so knackered. I felt like that by the end of last term, which is why I've been taking it easier this term (keeping study shorter and not stressing so much about it all).

School run for DS2 now...

hi thanks toffee. i asked my bro he's computer geeky techie and explained it to me. I don't think it will be for ds he struggles with maths and is not remotely interested lol.

Hi. I have a dd (10) who has sensory processing disorder and possible ODD. She is thriving at primary school at the moment. DH and I have always considered HE as Plan B if things went downhill. We would love it if secondary school works out but we won't hesitate to deregister her if it doesn't. Do you have to be HE before you can join the FB group?

I don't know, tink, sorry. I'm not on Facebook, so haven't joined the group myself.

It's great that your DD is doing so well at primary . Secondary school does present greater challenges, however (this is where my own son couldn't cope and I think this is not an uncommon scenario for SN children). You could try applying for a statement for extra support at secondary, but I'm afraid that if she is doing well at school at the moment, this will probably be used as an argument against it.

There might be local home ed groups near to where you live that you could join. Yahoo often has local home ed groups and you can then receive emails about local events. This would give you an idea of what is going on in your area for home educators.

tink there are a few people on the FB group who aren't doing HE yet. I think the only concern is to keep LA people and journalists out.

Hello all.
Hope everybody is well and doing well this week. Is it just me or do others seem to find one particular day that always seems great but others are hit or miss?
Its Thursday, so once again I am cheerful. Beginning to see a pattern in my optimism. . The only problem is its the full on music day. If only everyday could be as good. .
True to my word dd has done maths and English this week as well as music, but nothing else really. I wish there was more time to fit in History and language. Although now she has gone off the idea of Italian in favour of German its easier to find resources, just need somebody to invent a couple of extra hours a day. .