Support thread for new home educators

[ToffeeWhirl]

There seem to be a lot of us around at the moment, so I thought it might help us all to have a place where we can swap ideas, chivvy each other along on the bad days and cheer for each other on the good days.

I have two boys, the oldest is 12 and is just starting out in home education. My youngest is 6 and is still at school. Fortunately for me, he has just told me he's missing school and looking forward to going back .

We have had a good summer, with lots of dog walking, excursions, get-togethers with friends and family and minimal rules on television watching and computers. I have had a lovely time ordering books for our home ed library (failed to reign myself in on this ) and planning what we are going to study .

The plan at the moment is for DS1 to do a bit of Science, Maths and English every morning. He has a tutor for English once a week and we are going to get him a Maths tutor too. We will spend the rest of the time doing projects, reading together, practising handwriting, art, etc etc. Fridays are going to be 'free' days for informal learning, such as excursions.

I have been in touch with the local HE groups and we are planning to meet up with other HE families.

I'm spending some time today organising everything - plans, timetables, files, folders, lapbooks, etc. We have a visit from the LEA next Thursday, which gives me a good deadline to work towards.

I would love to hear how the rest of you newbies are getting on. And words of wisdom from the more experienced home educators are very welcome too!

Hi all for our first week of actually doing something, I don't think we have done too badly. The trip to the museum wasn't exactly a roaring success but ds has done some maths, English, science and we made a start on our project about Wales. Instead of doing every subject we decided to make up a scrap book of information on Wales, this should cover a few subjects and ds has started reading a book . I wasn't even sure he knew what a book was lol.
I have a meeting planed for Monday with a lady from the LEA and the school inclusion officer. I know I don't have too but I thought it would be polite. Should I let ds sit in on this meeting? His thoughts should matter, but if we are going to be discussing My reasons for removing him from school them we will be discussing ds's behaviour and I feel that he has been in enough meetings where we have talked about his bad behaviour, he doesn't need to be in anymore.

Hi foxy. That sounds like a good first week. I like your scrapbook idea. Sympathies on the trip to the museum - it sounds very familiar (DS1 gets bored easily too).

I also met up with our LEA contact when we started out in home ed. She is really encouraging and supportive. I actually asked her to come back three months later as I appreciate her opinion. With regards to whether you should let your DS1 sit in on the meeting: I let my DS1 sit in on the meeting for the first 10 minutes or so, then he went off to play on the computer (he couldn't wait to get out ) and I was able to discuss his behaviour and reasons for home educating more openly. Could you do this?

morethan - well done on fitting in Maths and English this week. It's great that the music is going so well. I think Fridays are our good day because I don't put us under any pressure to do structured work on that day - it's our fun/relaxing/trips/watching DVDs day.

DS1 has been helping me prepare for DS2's birthday and party this week, so we haven't done a lot of structured work. DS1 is very good at mental maths, so he has been very useful as a human calculator whilst we are out shopping, as well as helping me carry bags home . It is good to be out and about with him and reminds me how much progress he's made, as he spent so many months unable to go out at all because of his anxieties.

We bought some cakes from the local home ed group's cake sale yesterday. DS1 was too shy to speak to anyone, but I chatted with a bunch of very confident, cheerful home-educated girls. Afterwards, I overheard two shoppers puzzling out loud about why the children weren't in school. One of them speculated that they must be from an alternative school because they were wearing their own clothes. I said, "Excuse me, they are home educated" and the women's faces were a picture! They looked nonplussed at the idea that children might not be learning in school.

It's DS2's birthday today, so we were all woken up at the crack of dawn for the present opening . Party this afternoon.

Hope yr ds has a great birthday toffee.

Letting My Ds sit in for a bit of the meeting and them sending him off to play on ps3 ( pc's in the lounge so he couldn't go on that ) sounds like a good idea thanks .

I love the bit about the ladies when u were shopping. I'm still waiting for comments as we live in a small town people have got to notice him about when he should be in school probably think he is in trouble again

He's had a fabulous day, thanks, foxy . The party was brilliant and he had a smile on his face the whole time.

My DS1 has had comments about not being at school from our local shopkeeper. When DS told him he was home educated, the shopkeeper said that he'd hated school too and had left when he was 14. So far, neither of us have had any negative comments. I hope you're as lucky!

Best of luck with the meeting on Monday. Your plan about sending DS off to play on his PS3 sounds a good one. You don't need to justify taking your DS out of school, by the way, so you don't have to discuss his behaviour if you don't want to, although you may find - if you like the person - that you don't mind.

The best day for me is Wedensday when my son has two instrumental lessons. That means only one practice session on the other instrument so that's always a good day for me! ;)

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing ok.

DD1 has started doing 10ticks maths online (because it was so cheap on Groupon I figured it was worth a try). It's pretty good thus far - we're two weeks in. We've also borrowed Muzzie French from the library to give it a try before forking out for it.

DD was asked by a bank teller the other day why she wasn't at school, the lady was civil enough but DD and I could both tell that she disapproved - think we might have to talk a bit about the reasons that some people might have that kind of reaction.

One unforeseen effect of HE is that I'm desperate to quit my job at school - it's SO BORING and so inefficient compared to what we achieve at home. I know it's a bad idea though, not least because I find the comparison so reassuring.

TyrannosaurusBex.

Hello. Do you know I was thinking about similar the other day. I was a FE teacher and really didn't get on well with all the red tape, policies, procedures and of course the dredded paperwork.
I don't think I could teach now I have experienced supporting dd it just seems so wrong the way children are taught in schools. Whilst I am not against the nc per se, I am already beginning to see certain things I don't want to do with dd and there is so much repitition when you look at several years.
Are you able to quit your job, I ask because its awful when your heart isn't in it, I can remember well. Now you are able to use your talents to support your dc at home, I'm not surprised you are bored at school.

Hi Morethan.

I've been thinking about it all week and I think I will quit my job in February when my current contract expires, I only do three mornings a week but, as you rightly point out, it's incredibly dull when your heart isn't in it.

I look around the class sometimes and see verying degrees of boredom, frustration, resignation, alienation, indifference and incomprehension in probably 22 out of 26 children. Then I go home and DD1 is happy, stimulated, communicative, interested and engaged in what she's doing (mostly - I also have days when DH is grumbling that she hasn't done much and she's complaining that daddy makes her work too hard!) and I really resent the time spent at school.

Don't know if it's the same at FE level, but I regularly come home and tell DH that I've had a completely pointless morning.

Hello Tyran.....

Yes, I know the feeling well and you have my sympathy. I went into teaching as I wanted to pass on my knowledge and experience, to people I assumed wanted to know. I couldn't have been more wrong. Even at A level when no longer compulsory, they didn't want to be there and were similar in behaviour as you described the children. I'm glad I did it but I know I couldn't do it now that dd is at home.
I think the main problem for me is a conflict of interest, at school/college there are certain ways you are expected to teach let alone following syllabus or curriculum. If you wander from the narrow specification or plans woe betide. I can't function like this and I think it can be boring, for all but especially dc. I still can't believe how much dd learned about Guy Fawkes, compared to her schooled friends, she just ran with it until she thought she knew enough. There is no way she would have experienced this at school.
I think you have done very well to keep working and H.ed especially as your work has many opposing features

Hi TBex and morethan. Interesting to read your conversation today, as I also have a foot in both camps, with DS1 at home and DS2 at school. It worries me when you talk about children being bored, frustrated, etc at school because I'm concerned that DS2 continues to enjoy his education. This year, he is enjoying the topics they are looking at and the playtime with lots of children, so he seems to be doing ok. He had a 'Fire of London' experience last week, which we all went to watch, and it was brilliant. The children were screaming with excitement as the fire brigade set fire to the model Tudor houses. I did think to myself that this was an experience that it would be hard for home education to replicate, so I do think there are pros and cons for each and it depends on the school and the child.

morethan - can you explain more about the repetition in the National Curriculum? DS1 complains that he doesn't want to study the Tudors because they 'did' the Tudors at primary school. Am I right in thinking that subjects are covered to a basic level at primary, then done again once, or even twice, at secondary level?

I started doing some structured work with DS1 today, for the first time in ages. He had a Maths lesson first (going really well and the teacher has said she could coach him up to GCSE level), then we did some English, followed by some Science. We are looking at the classification of species, so we read a chapter from a library book about it, then began to compile a lapbook on animal classifications (downloaded from the internet). He was meant to go to the farm today too, but couldn't go because he wasn't feeling well.

Once lessons were over, I caught DS1 doing some independent research online on how to persuade his mum and dad to let him watch 18 certificate XBox games . Am getting really bored with his obsession with this and considering taking the XBox away until he stops going on about it. It was our one condition when we allowed him to have one and he fights it all the time.

foxy - how did the meeting go on Monday?

Colleger - I notice tomorrow is your best day. Enjoy!

Helen - hope the preparations for the move are going ok and not too stressful.

Thanks, morethan, glad to know it's not just me! I think a lot of people go into teaching for the reasons you describe and end up feeling very disillusioned and unmotivated.

Having said that, Toffee, don't let me worry you about your ds2 being in school, my dd2 is too, and she is doing really well. She is one of the ones who enjoys the social aspect of school and is enthusiastic about the lessons. I was really worried a few weeks ago when she had problems with her new teacher and wanted (briefly!) to be home educated, as she simply doesn't seem cut out for HE to me.

Their experience depends on so many variables - the other pupils in class, the teacher, their own personality, etc - and we are all doing our best for our children's varying needs.

The class I work with in is very extreme with 10 out of 26 having SEN, hence the need for an extra TA, and it is incredibly difficult to manage, so I see a very marked contrast between my experience of school and HE. I completely agree that some children thrive in school and some thrive at home - I would love to HE all three of mine, but I don't think it will ever happen, given their differing characters!

That certainly is a difficult class, TRex. Thanks for your reassurance. DS2 also enjoys the social aspect of school. He is shy, but having to cope with lots of children is actually doing him good and he's rising to the challenge and adapting, whereas it was draining for DS1. As you say, it depends on so many variables.

Tyran.

That was definitely my story, The paperwork and jumping through hoops was too much and I just couldn't manage it as well as teaching. I only lasted a year, but there were several reasons for this .

Your class does sound diverse and I bet you gained so much satisfaction for assisting the kids, I know I would. But as I said before, very hard if your heart isn't in it.

FWIW, I think you could potentially H.ed any personality, but multiple all at the same time may be challenging. What I have learned from reading these threads are there are all different types of dc being H.ed rather than a particular type. I must admit to finding this interesting.

I don't mean to say you don't know your own ds2 moreover, that if you felt strongly about it I'm sure it would work. My dd was similar except you would never have known she lacked confidence as she puts on a face, she also enjoyed the social aspect and sometimes admits to missing it a bit. Although she thinks H.ed ticks more boxes .
I am convinced that your experience will really benefit your dc even if you decide not to follow the same procedures as they do in school.

Hello Toffee.

I will try and explain more but I'm not very eloquent, I'm afraid.
The tudor period a good example.
Ok, one year say year 3 they cover some basics. Then in y4 they cover a bit more but also recap what they did in y3 because chances are dc have forgotten some or all of it depending on the child.

Add this to cross curricular material and you can do the same subject several times throughout a key stage. An example here could be Egypt covered in History, Geography in terms of Rivers, parts of RE etc. Now obviously different aspects are looked at each time but the basics are built upon each year. The result is the dc get bored of covering the same subject, and imo as it is such a sparse covering each time the dc find it hard to link it all together and gain a thorough understanding.

My dd did Florence Nightingale in y2 and y3 and I suggested she did it first week of H.ed as she likes history and I thought it would be a good start. I shall not communicate her response. (Oh , it wasn't bad langauge or offensive).

Toffe.

Sorry, yes, some things are also covered again in ks3. There seems to be a lot of repetition. I think this is why some H.ed dc can cover so much in such a short time. I think it is more so the higher/older they are.
My experience is only through my own dc not as a teacher or support worker.
I have always followed the nc as I supported older dc when they were at school.

hi the meeting Monday went well. I was worried she would be telling me I need to send ds back to school, but no she was very understanding and remembered me from a meeting at the school about ds ( the one where he was a step away from permanent exclusion). she went through the requirements I have to do in making sure he is educated in English, maths, science and IT. I know that's not quite true but humoured her about it and she suggested when ds is 14 getting in touch with a local agency that would be able to help with getting him into a college course if he wanted to. personally I think that would be great, my ds2 goes to college 1 day a week instead of school doing construction skills so it would be something like that.

foxy - that sounds like a helpful meeting. My LEA contact has also been very helpful and I want to keep in touch with her so that she can help me get DS1 onto college courses or even back to school if he so wishes (no chance at the moment). It sounds as if your LEA contact is similar. Maybe attitudes are changing. It must be a relief for you that the meeting is over and that it went well.

morethan - thank you for your very clear (and eloquent!) explanation. I can see the logic of building upon basic knowledge, but I can also see how boring it could get ( at your DD's response to Florence Nightingale). It's a shame that DS1 thinks he's 'done' the Tudors, for instance, as he has only dipped into them and there is so much he could learn, but he's been put off.

Managing to do HE and pack bits. Not too stressy yet. 13 more nights in this house!!

DD is mastering some maths topics although if I say "read the question" or "check your answer" too many more times I may spontaneously combust.

DS is being a pickle about writing. He asked me what the Dead Sea was this morning. I told him to look it up. He replied with "Muuuuumm you're supposed to teach me stuff"!! We did manage some data handling maths though. I think he's also "absorbed" how to solve equations! I caught him telling DD "you have to do the same thing to both sides". They solved it together!

It's hard doing GE with both of them though. I'm utterly shattered - and very grateful to have a break from rainy school runs!!

Well done at managing to do HE and packing, Helen. That's impressive. It sounds as if the DC are getting along well together - I like the fact that they've been solving equations together .

Had a very good day today, simply because DS1 is trying to prove to me that he is mature enough to watch 18 certificate XBox games . This argument is going to run and run. Still, if it gets him working hard, that's a good thing. So, this morning, he practised his handwriting, did his Maths homework (set by his new Maths teacher), completed a Biology worksheet, then did some work on animal classifications for the lapbook we're doing. He also went off on a tangent when he was reading about animals and started looking up animals that are in danger of becoming extinct. He got very upset about this, so we discussed the reasons and how animals can be protected. Then I suggested he sponsor an animal, which he is pleased about. He just has to choose which one, then he'll get a magazine about it three times a year.

I really like the lapbook we're doing. I printed out this one, which covers the basics. It's the first lapbook we've attempted and it's proving really good at getting the basic facts into DS1's head (and mine ) and I can see that it'll be great for revision too.

Toffee.
Hello again. You are very technical with the Lapbook, I am going to check out your link as I would love to learn more. It seems like a passion for helping animals is developing. Thats so lovely, and you have also covered PHSE there too. Sorry, I'm terrible for cross curricular learning. Exactly like last post, . He is doing well Toffee, I bet you are really pleased.

Helen, hats off to you for being able to continue H.ed so close to move. Also, how well they get on. I think any 2 of my 3 at any age would have ended up throttling one another. . Don't forget, none of those posh accents when you move down there. I don't want you getting too clever for us pie eaters.

Colleger.
Hope your best day was good, please come and gloat a bit, its nice hearing good stories. Is your ds still playing organ and how is the bassoon going?
DD is still mamaging Maths or English but not both atm as she has choir auditions (just solos) coming up, concerts with orchestra, concerts with choir and 2 music exams (only gr2 and gr3), though. She has asked for Piano lessons after xmas so I said she would have to lose 2 dance classes to pay for it. (I think National and Ballet exam class will go) She will still do ballet but one less class. I think it does them good to know your purse is not a bottomless pit .

morethan - yes, DS1 does love animals, which is funny because the first time we took him to the zoo all he wanted to look at was the fire extinguishers and rain gratings in the road! Mind you, he was only about 18 months at the time. Am very glad to discover I have inadvertantly covered PHSE too!

And yes, DS1 is doing well and I am very pleased.

What struck me about doing the lapbook with DS1 was how easily it fitted in with our learning. We read a chapter from his science workbook, then he does a worksheet and fills in the relevant insert for the lapbook and hey presto, we have a quarter of a lapbook already! Because the inserts are so short, it is helping DS1 learn small bites of information and it makes it easy for him to revise them later. Well, I hope it does, anyway.

Am planning to do another one on 'Shadow', as we did lots of work on it, but don't have that much to show for it. I will have to make that one up, though, so it won't be quite so easy as the readymade one.

I have DS2 here today as well because he says he has a cold , though he doesn't seem very ill to me. DS1, on the other hand, has gone back to bed because he doesn't feel well either, and he really is asleep, so there must be something going round. At least I have persuaded DS2 to play on his own so I can get stuff done. We lay in bed doing mental maths this morning (his idea, certainly not mine!) and I read him a story at breakfast time, so he has had some home ed too. He's drawing now.

I hope your day is going well, morethan.

And the same for Helen, Colleger, TRex and anyone else.

That means you, foxy! Sorry, I was previewing and couldn't see all the names .

DD just got 100% on an equations and algebra test!! Woohoo!

Wow Helen, that is amazing. How old is she again? Please tell her well done from a Mneter. I can't get over how you are still doing stuff so close to moving. Are you all getting excited now?

I have some brilliant news too. DD has only got the female vocal solo in a concert next week. There are 15 schools from the borough and dds choir, who happen to be sitting next to her old school.
Its quite a mature song from a newish childrens film, and quite demanding in range and ornamentation (lots of note bending, warbling). The lead usually goes to a y6 girl so we were all shocked and surprised when she got it.
Problem is now she is becoming quite famous in our area and its difficult finding a happy medium between prententious diva, cheeky monkey, spoilt brat, and my lovable little angel. Everywhere she goes people keep telling her how good she is, which is lovely but how do we stop her from becoming conceited. We tell her we are proud of her but daren't tell her how good she is .

How is everyone doing, hope you are all having good times atm.

Colleger How was wednesday?

Helen and morethan - congratulations both of you on your clever DDs! You are right to be proud of them. And you should be proud of yourselves too, as they are obviously thriving in home education.