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Home ed

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Original poster

My daughter has said she'd like to go to school! Really not sure how I feel about it.

45 replies

mummyloveslucy · 05/05/2012 18:10

My daughter went to a nursery attached to a private school. She loved the nursery and had several good friends. She had a lovely reception teacher, but year 1 was so much different. The teacher had little to no understanding of her SEN's. She was being punished for not being able to complete work and spending whole PE/ Dance lessons in the changing room crying as she wasn't able to dress herself. Sad The teacher thought she was capable and putting it on.

Anyway, that's just a bit of background info. She ended up being so scared of school that we had to take her out. She did calm down so much and it was like having the old Lucy back again.
She's been HE for about 16 months now and although she goes to clubs, meets up with other children occasionally, I think she is missing having children to play with every day. She mentions her old friends quite a lot. We didn't keep in contact, so it's awkward.

I was telling her a story about my brothers first day at school and she said "That makes me miss going to school". I asked what she missed and she said seing her friends every day, play time, fun things but definatly not maths! I told her that she'd have to do maths and english and she said she will if someone helps her.

A big part of me would really miss her and miss home ed in general. Is that being selfish though? I also have other majour concerns like the fact that she still wets and soils herself very regularly. She has severe speech problems which make it hard for children to understand her. She is also extreamly sensitive. Also with her learning difficulties and processing problems, I can't see her being able to concentrate in a class of 30+ children. She finds it hard enough one to one at home if the kettles boiling or even the heating noises.

I also think that if she tries it and doesn't get on well, we will then be known to the Education authority. We've avoided that so far, as she was in a private school.

What do you advise? Smile

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 05/05/2012 18:15

I would listen to her. Find a school that manages SN really well and she will probably flourish.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 05/05/2012 18:20

Have you experienced home ed and school exoticfruits?

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 05/05/2012 18:21

I get the impression it's only the social side she misses. Wink

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 05/05/2012 18:21

Second hand HEvwith friends. State schools with excellent handling of SN.

SeventhEverything · 05/05/2012 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 05/05/2012 18:22

She would miss the social side, you get to see your friends everyday and not just when it can be arranged.

SeventhEverything · 05/05/2012 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeeCoakley · 05/05/2012 18:26

I can't remember what your opinions of your local state schools were now, it's so long ago! But I think it's worth trying again because it sounds as if Lucy misses the camaraderie. She sounds like she would get 1-to-1 support and if she has/gets a statement then I believe the school that you choose will have to take her anyway even if they wouldn't normally have a place available. Unless you are going to HE forever I think getting her back into school is a good idea. Don't worry about 30+ children too much! It may sound alot but it's fine Grin

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 05/05/2012 18:33

There are several that I could try. I'd have to speek to them with my DH on our own first to discuss things like toileting etc. I'm really not sure how they'd cope with that. I have to shower her every time! I can't clean her properly any other way.

If she really wants too then she should be able to give it a try. It really makes my heart sink though. I know I won't be able to protect her any more.

OP posts:
dietstartstmoz · 05/05/2012 18:33

It sounds like you would have good grounds for applying for a Statement for your Dd. Does she have a dx for her SEN? Our ds has ASD and is in reception with a full statement. He has similar difficulties to your dd by the sound of it. Things are not 100% perfect with school and i don't know how things will work out but he has a great teaching assistant, has speech therapy activities daily, gets help in school from OT and autism outreach service. He has made progress in many areas since starting school. I have no doubt that there will be many problems in the future but being at school has definately been beneficial for ds and all of us. Maybe visit some schoolsand see what you think. Do you know any other parents of SN kids you could ask about schools?

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 05/05/2012 18:34

Can you up the amount of HE meet-ups you do? Find other local HE'ers and maybe meet most days?

I don't know, it feels like she's missing the social side, is forgetting the other side of it and it feels like sending kitten into the Lion's Den :(

What about an SN school - any good ones near you?

Would the local schools allow her to do a few 'getting to know you' days like they do with nursery kids moving up? Just so she can see what it's like without actually having to enrol?

dietstartstmoz · 05/05/2012 18:36

Our ds is still in pull ups at school and has a care plan for the toileting and manage it well, although they had reservations to start with. Ds has runny poo but i send all supplies in and its fine.

Emandlu · 05/05/2012 18:40

My kids were the same about 18months after I took them out of school.
They went back in to school for a year and then begged to come out again. It turned out for them that the so-called social advantages didn't outway the dis-advantages for them. We've homeschooled them ever since.
Neither of them are SEN though.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 05/05/2012 18:46

We are planning to do more meet ups, clubs etc. She goes to Brownies, but will only play with one girl, who is also HE. She won't play with any one else.
It takes her a long time to form friendships. I've started to take her to our local park which is close to a primary school. I take her at about 3:30, so she can play with the children. I've only taken her twice so far, and both times, she didn't try to play with anyone. When they had gone she said "No one wants to play with me". It might take time, but I'm hoping it'll help. She does look forward to it.

I do feel it's exactly like sending a kitten into the lions den. If you met her, you'd really think that. She is very baby faced and just so inocent and loving.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 05/05/2012 18:47

I have known DCs with toileting problems and the school deals with it, the statement is the important thing.

exoticfruits · 05/05/2012 18:48

I would invite DCs to your house to play on a one to one.

exoticfruits · 05/05/2012 18:49

I was a shy DC - there is no way I would have played with DCs in a park.

ontow · 05/05/2012 18:51

how can you HE her when your own spelling is so dreadful

upahill · 05/05/2012 18:52

Why are you so keen to stay under the radar of the Education Authority?

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 05/05/2012 18:53

There is only one girl from the HE groups that she likes to play with. We do have her around to play when she's free, but that isn't very often.
She was the same at school too. She had one best friend and no one else got a look in. When the Ed Psych asessed her at school, he said she spends most of the time on her own, but doesn't seem to mind.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 05/05/2012 18:55

At the school I work at we have children who need help with toileting, children in nappies, etc. The children normally have a statement attached and a dedicated TA to help them, plus people able to step in if the TA happens to be away for a day or whatever. We don't have a shower 9although we are looking to see if that is a possibility) but we do have a separate toileting room with large changing unit and wash facilities.

Some schools can be very good with SN, others less so - in both sectors. You need to go and have a look and ask questions.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 05/05/2012 18:56

upahill- We are not at all keen to be under the radar of the education authority. We have avoided it so far.

OP posts:
fallenangle · 05/05/2012 19:02

You have a legal obligation to tell the local authority if you are home educating OP as they are required to monitor the education you are providing for your DD. If you don't inform them, when they find out, you may end up in court.

FullBeam · 05/05/2012 19:03

I can completely understand why you wanted to Home Ed your daughter, she was very badly let down by her Year 1 teacher.

From your description, she seems to have difficulties in several different areas which should qualify her for a statement or a place in a school which would understand and help her with her special needs.

Are you having any support at the moment? What were the EP's recommendations?

exoticfruits · 05/05/2012 19:03

I think that you are misinformed there fallenangel.

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