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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Help!-reassurance?

9 replies

beckyboo232 · 09/12/2011 12:18

Hi I have a 3.10 year old son. I decided to home educate but with everyone enrolling their children and fighting for places....guess 'm just looking for reassurace that I'm doing the right thing. so i have to inform anyone i'm HE? Do people come round to check? I havent made any notes or anything about what i am/am planning to do with ds. Thanks

OP posts:
Jamillalliamilli · 09/12/2011 14:14

no requirement to do anything except enjoy not being part of the competitive stress. :-)
Education isn't compulsory before 5, so you don't need to worry. Someone else will come along and explain it all better but just wanted to reassure you that you can just relax.
Are you doing the right thing? Well unless there's substantial personal reasons why not, then if it's right for you and yours, yes. :-)

Re 'making notes' doing a blog /photo blog can be a nice way of working out where you're going if you worry about being able to formulate it.

I went down the normal route, played the fighting for places game, then watched it all fail horribly, and wish I?d known about h/e earlier.

julienoshoes · 09/12/2011 17:43

I'd suggest finding home ed families/groups near to you, go along to meetings and let your lad see that is normal for some children not to go to school.

If your child has never been registered at school, then you don't have to inform anyone-although plenty of people will tell you that you do.

If you manage to stay 'unknown' (an enviable position I'd say) then no one can ask to come and inspect.
If they find you, they will ask.
HOWEVER, the choice about how to give information about the HE you are providing, is always the parents.
You could choose to send a written report for instance instead.

We deregistered our children from school, so were always known.
We always sent in a brief written report and an Educational Philosophy. They never met the children, and never saw any examples of work at all.

I can't think of a single thing that the LA could give me, that I couldn't get, quicker/faster/better from the home ed community, so there was no point in having a home visit!

and compulsory school age is the term after the child is 5, so the LA wouldn't be asking for a couple of years, even if they found you!

Tarenath · 09/12/2011 21:14

I was in the same position as you last year. Everyone was applying for school places and asking me where I wanted ds to go etc. I explained (much as I did when everyone asked about nursery) that I had no plans to enrol him in school at the time. Most people looked at me strangely but could understand my reasons for keeping him out. You don't need to inform anyone about your educational choice. You don't need to plan anything. The majority of nursery and reception is unstructured learning anyway and nothing that can't be easily replicated outside of school. Just sit back and enjoy not having to worry about the placement letter coming in March/April!

You don't need to keep notes or anything but I keep a basic blog of what we've done for my own piece of mind. I also have a 4.5 year old workbook/puzzle nut so they're kept too along with artwork etc but I think most parents keep some of their kids artwork.

Saracen · 09/12/2011 23:16

Looking around at what "everyone else" is doing can make school seem like the proper route, and any alternative can seem dubious. It isn't a helpful habit.

Instead, look closely at your own little boy. Consider what he needs at this moment socially, emotionally, academically. Is he getting it? Is he happy? Is he growing into a more capable person who is beginning to understand the world around him better with every passing season?

If the answer is yes, then reassurance sits right in front of you that you have chosen the right path.

If the answer is no, sit back and think what would need to be different for your son to be happy and to be learning what he needs to know. Imagine the ideal circumstances he would need in order for that to happen, and put your mind to figuring out how to create them. Chat online or face-to-face with other home educating parents to see whether their children's needs seem similar to your son's and how they have met those needs.

Things won't be perfect every minute of every day. But when you are home educating, you have great scope to tinker to improve it. When you start from scratch in this way, imagining the environment your small child would need in order to grow into a curious happy competent bigger child, I think it is very unlikely that you would conjure up the whole package of school as we know it.

Why is everyone else sending their children to school? Most of them are doing it simply because it is the done thing. That is an understandable reason. Most of us have made some of our major life choices for that very reason. But once you have really looked into the alternative, it may not seem sufficient reason.

shineynewthings · 10/12/2011 12:07

I think as has already been said that you should try and contact some other home educators in your area so that you see/feel more as though you have made a natural choice.

I can tell you as someone who home educated after her children had started school, that I fervently wish I had never sent them in the first place. In fact I envy tremendously those H.E. parents I meet who just never sent their children to school. I sent my children to nursery and school purely because that's what everyone else in society seemed to do. I skipped to the nursery when they started full-time, telling myself I would have lots more 'me' time. I never questioned why I should need this 'me' time, or if deep down I really even truly wanted this 'me' time. It was something I simply never questioned.

It is my opinion that you and your son are in an extremely enviable position; your son need never experience the notion of learning being different or apart from what he already does in life naturally, and you have huge scope to stimulate and follow his interests in areas and to depths he would never touch on in school and at whatever pace he wants to explore.

It sometimes happens that school can diminish a child's natural curiosity for learning because everything is separated into boxes: Maths-separate-from-history-separate-from-Art etc: Your son need never experience that.

Regarding L.A: You don't have to inform them, they have no right to demand to see you either, but it's up to you. A few home educators do find their LA representative useful and supportive, others say they find them unhelpful and not very understanding. We are known to our L.A. but have never been contacted. I really do think it is entirely a personal choice how you choose to go in this area, and you shouldn't necessarily assume they will be hostile. I do keep loose records (pictures, work, tickets from museums we've visited etc) just in case the need arises.

With regards to other people's opinions: It is natural, especially on the odd trying day or bad week to have a 'Am I doing the right thing?' wobble. It may seem then that everyone else has it easy, they drop off perfectly happy Johnny or Sarah to school and get on with life. I have known (actually I had this experience only last week Sunday in fact..lovely it was too...Xmas Biscuit) people who hardly factor in my life to get quite ridiculously upset about the choices I've made with my family. Sometimes I do get upset, other times it rolls off my shoulders - usually by the time we take our next visit to an empty museum or zoo at term time, or the next time my child finally masters some math topic -which he thought he was rubbish at in school- seemingly all at once and out of the blue.

I do think some sort of networking even if only on line is important, but aside from that don't worry about anything and enjoy everything! Just enjoy!

beckyboo232 · 12/12/2011 12:53

thanks everyone-i was just having a 'wobble' the other day :) Your replies have helped me no end, thank you. I am sure i am doing the right thing, it just isolating when everyone tends to look very oddly at ou when u explain why your son isn't at school/nursey. My son is happy, loves learning his numbers and letters, loves cooking, playing, garening, museums......I think I will start as say keepin a rough log, pictures, tickets etc just in case, but you've all reassured me massively :)
shineynewthings, yes i think its the concept of me having no 'me' time that everyone finds so strange, but the truth is I sont feel i want it or need it either.
thanks a mill girls :)

OP posts:
TimeWasting · 12/12/2011 21:24

DS is currently attending nursery in the mornings. I spend all my 'me' time reading about Home Education and Attachment Parenting. Grin

Sounds like you're both doing great. Smile

beckyboo232 · 13/12/2011 08:58

Thank you. May I ask what you are reading? and also what clubs/activities do ur children do? My son goes to dance classes which he loves but am trying to find another activity he can experience. :)

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picnicinthewoods · 13/12/2011 16:18

Hello becky,
I just wanted to tell you that I felt just like you when the time came for aplications etc all those feelings are normal. We have HE'd for one term so far (after DD doing 2 years at playschool & DS having never gone) & I have no worries atall. I can honestly say I made the right choice and its even better for us than I imagined. The learning from life is so easy and natural and the 'socialisation' stuff is working out too. DD and DS are making some great friends, and I honestly worried about that before.
Sure, I dont have much free time, but that doesnt really bother me. I love being with my kids! DD's behaviour is soooooo much better too! Wow, no more tantrums!
And at the end of the day school isnt going anywhere. Its always there if need be/things change.
Emerse yourself in the HE community, see whats out there and you will have no worries:)

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