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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

learning to read without being taught?

79 replies

mumof4darlings · 02/01/2011 18:10

Hi
I would love to hear any positive stories about how your child learnt to read without being taught. I have been dipping into some free online reading schemes, but i hear so much about people just reading to their child and they suddenly begin to read themselves? how?

OP posts:
stressedHEmum · 27/10/2011 11:58

So, my DS4 has never been to school (he is almost 9). When he got to school age, I started trying to teach him to read using that book about 100 easy lessons. He HATED it. It was such a battle and really stressful for everyone. SO after we had managed about 10 lessons in 3 months, I just gave it up. I subscribed him to Starfall, which he has loved since he was about 3, bought him a bunch of Magic Key books, which he also loved, and read him Astrosaurs, Magic Treehouse, Cows in Action and all the other stuff that he enjoyed and just let him get on with it.

He also learned quite a lot from reading the screens on his video games. There is a lot of incentive to read the instructions if you need to catch a pokemon or free a princess.

Now he can read almost as well as my niece and nephew of the same age who have been at school from the start. He is what you might call reluctant, but he reads when he feels the need, so he will continue to improve. Now I just have to hope that he makes some kind of progress with writing.

RosemaryandThyme · 27/10/2011 16:02

SDeuchars - thank you, I do agree with you.

The difficulty I have is that I live in a mixed community project, we stradle both HE and state school, frequently mum friends are upset that their children (attending primay school) are not progressing through the school recommended reading levels, where HE mums will re-buff with the view that basically school are doing it all wrong and that children will teach themselves.

Unfortunately three community mums took this as being "we need do nothing at all at home" - (refusing to do school reading books, read bed-time stories unless their children requested them, never point out words or labels, basically taking the approach that doing nothing AT ALL EVER was the way to go, all three children are sadly really finding school harder because of this).

I will encourage in our next meeting the HE mums to share their experiances of faciliating an enviroment for reading, this thread has helped me see the gap that our community here has slipped into.

exoticfruits · 27/10/2011 16:22

They are all different. My DH taught himself to read at 3 yrs. Most DCs will learn by any method but you have to take care that there isn't a problem. My DS2 is dyslexic and I had to actively teach him and he had a lot of extra help at school. It would have been very unfair to just leave him.
If they don't learn until late they miss so much children's literature and relying on audio books or the parent reading is just not the same-you also get the fact that parents will read to their own agenda, the books they want to read.

julienoshoes · 27/10/2011 22:20

Interestingly my now nineteen year old daughter has a lot to say on this subject.

She left school aged nearly nine after masses of 'active teaching and extra help', completely unable to read or spell -even her own name. Her diagnosis was of severe dyseidetic and dysphonetic dyslexia, ADHD and dyspraxia. She had no word attack skills at all. None.

When we de registered her, we believed all of the experts who were telling us we had to actively teach her, she had to work extra hard to combat her severe difficulties, and we tried all of the reading schemes and methods available.
This resulted in a hysterically upset child. Reading was an absolute hated chore, she would run away screaming and scared.

Eventually we listened to experienced autonomous home educators and backed off. We stopped actively teaching her, stopped making her trying to sound words out or to try work out the shape etc. Instead we read everything and anything to her, if she asked what something said, we read it out without making a fuss at all. We watched DVDs, TV and talked and talked and talked. She listened to audio tapes of stories that she wanted to hear. Her choice of story completely, not mine.
It's not the same as being able to read to yourself, you are right exoticfruit-but it's a hell of a lot better to encourage a love of novels and stories likes this-than to make reading a hated chore for a severely dyslexic child IMO.

We just allowed her education to run ahead, whilst her reading and spelling caught up in their own time.

She finally began to 'get' reading aged about 13+. She says it was like somebody tripped a switch and suddenly things began to make sense. By 14 she was beginning to use MSN-and that was a Godsend. No fourteen year old wants her mother to be reading what her friends are typing -nor to have to ask me how to spell every word. Her motivation to do it was huge!
By 15 she had begun an OU starter course, which she completed by the age of 16, 'achieving all of the outcomes'. She used this to get into FE college, where she did a Nat BTEC. She has been assessed in college for her dyslexia and is now classed as an 'average' reader-how we danced and cried with joy when we got that result.
She got straight distinctions overall for the course and finished at the top of the class. [hgrin]
She is now doing Level 4 qualifications.

She is an avid reader for pleasure, often not able to get her head out of a book, she blogs on line and has become self employed and is independent and
self confident.
We still know several of the young people that DD left behind in the remedial groups at school-the same cannot be said for them.

At about 16 she went to stay at an older sisters place. Waking early in the morning she put on a DVD quietly. She wasn't paying much attention until she saw the subtitles-and panicked completely because she couldn't read the words. She cried bitterly because she thought she'd lost the ability to read again, overnight-a terrifying prospect for her. She says she could recognise all of the letters but could not make them into recognisable shapes or sounds-exactly how her dyslexia had been for her. The only thing was, this time the words weren't shooting off the line, nor the letters spinning as they apparently used to.
Eventually she calmed down and realised she had hit the wrong language for the subtitles, and went back and started all over, finding 'English' and all was well. She still speaks movingly of her relief.

I completely agree with SDeauchars-even for my severely dyslexic child I:

  • facilitated my children learning to read.
  • modelled reading to my children.
  • demonstrated that reading has purpose.

I did not teach them to read-Dd learned to read in her own time, from the environment, when she was ready.

All of my children intend to facilitate their children in learning to read in this way.

exoticfruits · 27/10/2011 22:25

As I said-they are all different. For my dyslexic DS he needed a very structured use of phonics. It won't suit all dyslexics-no 2 are the same.
I don't believe in having a philosophy-wait and see what DC you have and what they need and deal with them as an individual. One size never fits all.

exoticfruits · 27/10/2011 22:28

My DS is now 22yrs and also has a lot to say about it and is very grateful for not leaving him. I would be very surprised if every dyslexic DC had the same thoughts on it.

julienoshoes · 27/10/2011 22:54

I can totally see that your child felt he needed a structured approach. I've known autonomously home ed children asking for a more structured approach than we had.
One of the advantages of autonomous HE is that you do get very personalised education, following their lead. No two children are exactly the same.

I was just pointing out that you don't have to actively teach a dyslexic child to read. It depends on what is right for the individual child.
It hadn't worked for DD2 and was never going to work-it would have been very unfair in her opinion and mine to continue to do so.

NotJustClassic · 27/10/2011 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Saracen · 28/10/2011 07:40

I think that some of the problem with learning to read is the expectation in our society that children will do it young. Accounts of autonomously educated children learning to read later than schoolchildren suggest that the motivation and/or developmental ability to start reading often arrive very considerably later than four.

My daughter was a real conformist and a worrier. She was desperately anxious to be able to read. A small part of this was the eagerness to be able to do it for herself, but a large part was anxiety in case she didn't measure up. She was autonomously educated and I reassured her often that people learn to read at different ages and that I was sure she would get there sooner or later and it really didn't matter when she did it. She didn't buy that. She overheard plenty of things which indicated that people do expect you to learn to read fairly young, that the rate at which you pick it up is important, and that if you never manage it you'll be considered a failure.

I think this led to her taking it on before she was quite ready, and to stick with it when perhaps she would have been better off having a break. At 6.5 she asked me to teach her, so I did. Soon she could puzzle some words out laboriously, and she gradually learned to recognise more. It was quite a slow business and she did not start reading ordinary books for pleasure until around her ninth birthday. Then it all came together and within a year she was a fluent reader. Before she was nine, she used to say that the text in most books was too small, that she lost her place, that reading was so slow that she forgot the content, and that it was tiring. All the while she was making some progress and so I never worried that she had dyslexia or any other difficulty that needed to be addressed. She took some comfort in the levels of the reading scheme books which proved to her that she was progressing.

Possibly she did need several years of pushing against it in order for it to "click." But I often wonder whether the process might have been much easier for her if she had felt able to start learning to read at a later age, or to set it aside for a while.

exoticfruits · 28/10/2011 08:13

I think that my DS was very thankful for all the effort because he didn't have the luxury of waiting until he was 13+. He left school at 15yrs (late Aug birthday) and he had a C in GCSE English (I was hugely proud of his effort). The C in English opened up so many doors and he got a very good apprenticeship in a very technical subject and is now fully qualified. It worked for him. He got a lot of help at school and extra time for exams.
Maybe it would have worked if he had been left-no one can tell - but he is very happy with the outcome.
It is a huge mistake in any aspect of education or bringing up DCs to say 'this is the way-it is only ever the way for that particular child -even their sibling may need a different method.

exoticfruits · 28/10/2011 08:27

To answer the OP-most DCs will learn to read whatever you do or don't do but some DCs need to be actively taught in a highly structured way. The trick is knowing which you have!
I used Step by Step by Mona McNee.here She had a Down's syndrome son and he spent 2 years at school failing to learn to read and even being told he wouldn't be able to-she took a hand and had him reading fluently in 18months.She points out that when she started (1970) the general idea was 'don't worry-they will catch on' but 6 million did not. (I'm not sure where she got her figures but certainly there are illiterate adults-I know people who are actively teaching them to read). It is a very old fashioned book but is cheap and works.
I am also very keen on Toe by Toe here which is much more expensive.

exoticfruits · 28/10/2011 09:07

About 20% of the adult population is functionally illiterate and three quarters of the prison population so not everyone just picks it up in their own time. see here.
I would agree that if you are HEing you are producing the loving, supportive home background where they are likely to pick it up.

julienoshoes · 28/10/2011 10:59

But the 20% of the population who are functionally illiterate went to school!

That's the category our DD would have come in, if we'd left her in school, we are both certain of that.
Being pushed to conform to someone else's time table-even where they get masses of extra help doesn't work for all dyslexics-or we wouldn't have this problem with illiterate adults IMO.

This thread is in the HE section, so I take it the OP is asking about HE children learning to read 'by themselves'

We tried Toe by Toe and Step by Step and a phonics scheme that I can't even remember the name of now. DD reminded me last night just how much money and experts we threw at the children's dyslexia (it was where DHs retirement lump sum mostly went!)
None of it helped. As I said it just resulted in a screaming hysterical scared child.

Each child is different- different autonomously home educated 'get' reading in their own time. Some do ask for a structured approach, but in a situation where reading is facilitated and allowed to develop at an individuals pace, works time after time after time in autonomous HE.
Alan Thomas and Harriet Patterson are doing research into this very subject right now, and from talking to them the results are looking very interesting!

exoticfruits · 28/10/2011 12:04

I don't think it matters whether they went to school or were HEed it has to suit the DC, and the parent. I haven't the personality to sit and wait-I am the sort who is practical-I see the problem and want to fix it. I agree that it doesn't suit all DCs. With luck you have a DC who takes after you.
All you can really say is that some DCs will learn by themselves and some won't. It is a bit dangerous to say airily that they all do it in time. Some don't.
This is a very old thread I have just noticed-started last January.
All you can really say is that a DC won't learn before they are ready so it is counter productive to push it at 6yrs if they are not ready until 10 yrs or 13yrs. Use your DC to work it out, rather than theories about 'all' DCs because when they are ready some will pick it up and some will want structure.

juuule · 28/10/2011 15:58

"because when they are ready some will pick it up and some will want structure."

And surely that is the beauty of home-ed. That the child can learn 'when they are ready'. Whether they prefer structure or not.

julienoshoes · 28/10/2011 16:10

I know it's an old thread-that's why I didn't reply until I felt the need to put forward another point of view to the idea that you have to teach a dyslexic child to read.
It absolutely has always to depend on what is right for each family-my passion is that parents should be able to make informed choices on what is right for their families.
I've pointed out that each child is different. I didn't say anything about 'all' children. I didn't even say that you had to do anything in particular with an individual child. You were the one who said you had to be careful not to use the autonomous learning to read by oneself method, if the child had problems.
I don't know how much experience you have had with autonomous HE children? I don't have a lot of experience with structured HE children with SEN learning to read, so don't comment. I certainly don't have experience of success in children with SEN, being taught to read in school, with or without masses of extra help, in school, because it wasn't successful for my three dc.
But I do know very many HE children with SEN, who have learned to read in an unstructured way-including my own. It isn't dangerous. Autonomous home educators see it all the time. Not very many are as severely dyslexic as my dd2 I know, but it's happened to often now for it to be dismissed.
Hence the research being done now. It is hard to go against society's norms without researched evidence.
It must be hard for someone without the wide experience of hundreds of autonomously HE friends in real life to get their heads round-it certainly was for me, until I saw it with my own eyes, and it was for our none HE family and friends too.

The reason it matters about going to school or not-is because the OP was asking on a HE thread about HE children learning to read, by themselves.

exoticfruits · 28/10/2011 16:32

I wasn't reading it as a school/HE thing. I stick to my original reply which is that they are all different. You can't say 'yes a DC will learn to read without being taught', because some will and some won't. It depends on the DC.
You can tell someone all the success stories but that doesn't mean that another DC is going to be similar.

mrz · 28/10/2011 16:58

But the 20% of the population who are functionally illiterate went to school!

Did they? or did a large percentage fail to attend ?

exoticfruits · 28/10/2011 17:10

I would expect that they failed to attend. The main problem would be lack of parental involvement. Even if the HEed DC is being left the parent is being very supportive and has the sort of environment where they are encouraged and nurtured.
It is sad that this thread got onto whether it is better to be at home or at school because I assume that OP is already HEing when she asked the question. You can have any number of stories of those who just picked it up at 2yr, 5yr, 8yrs 10yrs etc but it doesn't mean that yours will. DH picked it up at 3 yrs and his parents were only reading him stories-nothing more and yet his DS didn't and I think that we could still be waiting!
You have to know your DC. I am very thankful that I took an active part with DS -a very structured phonics approach worked with him.

mrz · 28/10/2011 17:12

I have two children one picked up reading without being taught the other needed instruction

exoticfruits · 28/10/2011 17:24

That was my point mrz-I have 2 who picked it up without being taught but the 3rd needed instruction.
My general observation, based on knowing a lot of DCs is that most will pick it up but some won't and they shouldn't be denied help and patted on the head and told 'there there, you will get it when you are ready'. Poor DS would be unemployed with that advice, instead of having a skill and a very good job.

IndigoBell · 28/10/2011 17:32

julienNoShoes - if you don't mind me asking - in the end what helped your severely dyslexic child/ren to read?

julienoshoes · 28/10/2011 18:45

"it is sad that this thread got onto whether it is better to be at home or at school"
Where has anyone made it into a school vs HE thread? I certainly didn't.
I said I am passionate that parents are able to make informed choices about what is right for their families.
Only parents will know whether school or HE is the right choice for their families/individual children. That may change with time or circumstances.

Autonomous HE parents facilitate their children's learning at a pace that is right for their children. Some will choose a structured approach, some will be unstructured in this as with the rest of their education.
I said I don't have personal experience with structured teaching of HE children, nor of successful teaching of reading to SEN children in school-so I don't comment.
I said I totally got that a structured approach suited your son and you.
I get all of that.

I did respond about autonomous HE children with and without SEN learning to read-that I have personal experience and knowledge of-so think it reasonable to respond from experience rather than opinion of something I have no experience of.

mrz · 28/10/2011 18:53

julienoshoes I think Indigo's interest is purely from her position as a mum to two children with SEN

julienoshoes · 28/10/2011 19:02

"if you don't mind me asking - in the end what helped your severely dyslexic child/ren to read?"

My severely dyslexic child says she needed time and space for her reading (and spelling) ability to develop in it's own time. She felt pressure enough from society which expects everyone to be able to read, she felt pressure from her schooled peers, who thought she was stupid because she couldn't read
She was actually so depressed she considered suicide -at 8 years old!- because she was so unhappy with the way she didn't fit with society.
She did find companionship where she didn't feel judged within the HE community.

We encouraged a love of stories, by reading whatever she wanted us to read-newspaper articles/magazines/comics/books. We watched DVDs and talked about them-sometimes over and over again and reflected on them as stories. We went to the theatre and watched the stories come to life, she chose what ever stories she wanted from the Calibre Listening library service

she suddenly seem to be getting things aged around 13-I remember her asking me to show her how the clock worked-so I did what I had done so many times (at her request) I divided the clock in half, said this is minutes 'past' and this is 'to' the hour and she suddenly said "Oh! Why have you never shown me that before? I get it now" I explained that was how I had said it every other time too..........
I remember the first word she read was "Ladies" on the toilet door in the cinema, when the doors had been repainted and the pictures had been removed. I said "How do you know that?" She said "I read it didn't I?!" We danced in the corridor outside the toilet together in celebration!

At that point we bought her her own lap top. She said at the time that lap top "set her free" she chatted with her friends from all over the country on MSN-as I explained before, no 14 year old wants her mother reading what her friends have said, so the motivation to build on the break throughs was always there.
She said she could make mistakes on there and people would think that she was either using 'text speak' or had miss typed. It gave her the courage to 'have a go'

She has always lived in a household of lots of books, where her parents were avid readers-she said to me once that we were a severe dyslexics worst nightmare of parents!-so she has always wanted to read like us.

I guess we just allowed her time and space, gave encouragement and facilitated what ever needs she had in this part of her education as with all others.

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