figcake: 8yo bullied at school; LA website ultre vires

[SDeuchars]

figcake posted on the de-reg topic at Thu 23-Dec-10 22:41:42:

I have a question on behalf of my lovely neighbor who is non-MN. Her DD aged 8 has been bullied at primary school for the last 2 years and it is definitely not getting any better or being addressed by the school. Outside school she is really lovely, friendly, bubbly good com skills - infact, people stop her in the street/supermarket saying how they wished their Dc was "that lovely" "friendly" "chatty"etc.

Because she is increasingly ostracised and bullied at school and neighbor complained on a few specific occasions, they placed her DD on the SEN reg as they insist that she has difficulties socializing and none of their pupils would have said any of the horrible things she quoted as they sound too "grown-up" and effectively accused neighbor of lying even though she is a very honest person.
They have really been pressurizing neighbor into agreeing to external assessments (and made her sign a referral form) even though she was dead set against it as nobody anywhere else thinks there is an issue and is more to do with the school (btw no places in other schools in LA as there is a shortage of places here). They have not relented and have now written to say that they will be looking into other official ways in which to force her to agree to the assessments they require if she does not comply.
She has been talking of home-edding for a while and def feels equipped to do it but she now feels that LA will be 'on her back' even after she deregisters DD and not leave her alone as things are too far gone against her. We looked at the procedures for our LA and they def mention "home visits" with EWO (where DD would have to be present) in order to gain approval to Home Ed, submitting suitable ed philosophy, min 25hr/wk schooling and periodic visits thereafter in which examples of work must be shown; this all seems to go against advice on MN re LA rights. I don't home-ed so I can't help any further really.

Could anyone help us separate fact from fiction?

Well, she does not feel that the gap between how she presents at school vs elsewhere is likely to close esp with school denying the bullying (and now even attempting to hide it from mum unless her DD feels brave enough to share it herself - willingness to tell mum appears to be decreasing as she grows older. Obv bottling it all up brings with it a new set of problems). There is NO WAY she has been getting much 1 to 1 either. I have seen her daughter through the school fence during outdoor PE/playtime wandering about dejected and ignored by the staff even after mum asked for them to keep an eye on her.

I suppose that she cannot get an education in a fair, relaxed environment. It may sound paranoid but you get a palpable sense of there being a really heavy atmosphere lingering in the air as soon as the mum walks in through the door (I have been with her a few times and def feel it too). There are people watching (consciously observing) their normal, loving interactions. That is why the nonsense cooked up involving the safeguarding team does not come as a surprise in one sense. It is just awful really.

In a school environment, she is def a SEN pupil. From a social pov, she does really need the 1 to 1 f/t to avoid her being bullied to death really. The bullying is def getting more severe and also happens inside the class and on trips as the DD reports.

"Important to stop seeing all agencies as ?them?. It?s just not that organised. " It is generally true, though in this case they are acting absolutely in sync; it is really remarkable to witness. It is like a tight knit sisterhood which only recruits stoodges into their inner circle. I don't know about the paed though they are friends, do sit together and socialise together beyond usual office stuff