Hassle from health visitor

[mavisdavis]

My health visitor rang out of the blue a few months ago asking which school my eldest child is going to. I told her that I didn't want him to start school until aged 5 years at least, another year away, and that I may home-school. She then said to let her know if I was home-schooling so she could arrange for the 'home school nurse' to deal with checks that would normally be carried out by the school nurse. Does anyone else submit to this!? I remember getting thoroughly fed up with the health visitor when my children were newborn and feeling that I and they had to perform, get the house perfect, etc. Will I ring 'alarm bells' if I avoid them/tell them I don't need these checks and that im a responsible mother who can look after my own children thank you!

Do they still do hearing tests etc? I think they would be useful.

TBH it doesn't sound to me like your HV is hassling you, more that she is looking after the health of your DS - which is what she is paid to do after all! But by all means decline and I wouldn't worry about being on a blacklist.

(I am very pro home ed BTW, in case you think my answer is coloured by prejudice)

If they didn't provide a nurse service for children who are being home educated, there would be outcry about that too I daresay.

Surely the nurse will not be testing the cleanliness of your house etc; she will be testing things like your dcs' hearing. If you don't want it done at home, you can presumably have it done at the clinic.

Yes, it may seem like you have to jump through hoops. But several people I know have had their dcs' hearing or sight problems picked up by school tests: to me, it would seem worth knowing if your dc has a hearing problem; surely, the most important thing is that they get whatever help they need, not whether you feel criticised or not?

And I speak as the mother of two disabled children who would have been spared years of pain if concerns raised by health visitors had been followed up. Seen from that perspective, how I felt about my untidy house is a pretty small problem.

A friend of dd's had her social development quite severely delayed because of untreated hearing problems; it was still affecting her years after the physical problem had been cleared up. I would definitely want my children checked regularly. If you don't want the school nurse to do it, then have it done privately. But have it done and let them know you are having it done.

We just opt out of the HV service by saying "thank you so much for being in touch. If we have any concerns with which you can help us, we'll be in touch"

Haven't seen one since my oldest was a year old.

[NB I know there are some wonderful, professional, intelligent and expert HVs out there. I have just never met one personally.]

School's are a great place for picking up on any potential problems with children. I think that if a child is to be home educated then for child protection reasons it is sensible to have someone who checks on the child's wellbeing.

Interestingly, lal123, that was one of the central lynchpins of the (now utterly discredited) Badman report on Home Education. The NSPCC was very keen to promote the same line, probably with a view to gaining the contract to provide a wellbeing inspection service.

Your statement assumes that schools do indeed pick up on child protection issues more reliably than neighbours, relations, friends, supermarket checkout staff, GPs, anyone else that children come into contact with. Is it true? If not, then there are serious problems with singling out as being perceived to be at particular risk those children whose only differentiation from the general population is that they don't go to school.

Please remember that people who are determined to abuse their children will do so. If that requires them to have unassisted childbirth, never register the child, never register with a GP, move frequently, whatever the hell it is, you can be sure that they will do whatever it takes to stay under the radar.

Claiming that one sector of society should be singled out for particular scrutiny - particularly given the number of false positives, and the emotional damage done to an innocent family by a SS investigation, even if they are vindicated - is highly offensive. More girls of Asian origin are forced into marriage. Should we interview all Asian families when their daughters become 10, just in case, and take further action if they do indeed come from a culture in which arranged marriage is the norm? [spot the straw man argument, but I hope the point is still made]

If this seems an overly aggressive response, then I apologise. Many of us in the HE community spent about 18 months leading up to the last general election putting a huge amount of our energy in fighting a change in the law that was based on Home Education = abuse fearmongering by those with a huge amount to gain from interfering in the lives of innocent families ("rentseekers")

ommmward - very well written and reasoned post. I'm not saying that one sector of society should be singled out for particular scrutiny - just that they should be subject to the same scrutiny as others. I don't think that those being HE ed are at more risk of abuse, but they may be at more risk of it not being picked up?

Although other sources may be good at picking up on abuse (which I'd question), they are ntooriously bad at reporting it

Surely then the answer is to work improving the avenues for following up concerns - given that the issues lie with that - rather than suggest that home ed families should essentially pick up the slack by accepting a greater level of intrusion into their private family life than other families do in order to make things easier for them?

Very interesting lal123 posts, but a little naive.

The schools failed to protect my son from any abusive behaviour that went on under their noses. Two years on and ds still has nightmares about his head been put into a toilet bowl, about the daily punching, the name calling, the having been thrown into the bushes, the been pushed down the stairs.......... The schools also failed to pick up on any hearing or visual problems. Even when finally they had reports from specialists, the schools didn't act upon any of the specialist advice. I am not alone in having suffered a similar experience.

mavisdavis don't worry about it. At 5yr is just another developmental check, plus a chat about either vaccine boosters or not.
I have never heard of a 'home' school nurse, but the school nurse attached to our surgery was happy to see us at the surgery. The other ages you would have contact with a school nurse is for TB vaccine and menegitis booster (and cervical cancer vaccine if you have a girl) at around 13yrs and also for a tetanus jab (roughly 16yrs).

''menegitis''= meningitis

Fava: The other ages you would have contact with a school nurse is for TB vaccine and menegitis booster (and cervical cancer vaccine if you have a girl) at around 13yrs and also for a tetanus jab (roughly 16yrs).

You do not need to have those jabs either. In particular, there are serious questions over HPV (cervical cancer) vaccine. My DC have had no jabs after baby ones and in fact my DD was extremely angry at the tone of the HPV letter - she is not sexually active so she is not at risk but the letter did not give accurate and clear information about risk factors. It is not necessary for 100% of girls to have HPV vaccine.

SDeuchar, where able to just ignore the letters?

RE HPV. We ignored the multiple page non-sense and so far no-one has contacted us again.

We also tried to ignore the TB letters but in the end I had to educate the nurse as to why we were not intending to have this vaccine. (dd contracted it during the Leicester outbreak when there was a vaccine shortage: dd was only 2!)

i fail to see how this is "hassle". she hasn't been aggressive, she hasn't asked you repeatedly, she hasn't said you HAVE to do it

she has offered you a service which I am sure some parents use. as a replacement to that service your son would get were he in school

if you do not wish to see the nurse then just say so.
it isn't "hassling" someone to offer them something they are entitled to

The school nursing service is one that is available for the parents of all school age children in England (not sure about the rest of the UK). I don't think it is widely known about or used, but it is there.

I don't see how the HV was hassling you by drawing your attention to a service that you may not be aware of if your child is not at school. You don't have to use it, just as no parent of a child at school has to use it. But she would be failing in her duty if she didn't tell you about it.

I think you have to decide: do you as some posters have here, want to opt out of the HV and maybe the whole NHS service? Or not?
Be blunt with her, say you don't want someone interferring if you don't.

But do get eyesight and hearing checks. Do consider vaccinations at the appropriate stages.

And even if you want nothing to do with her now, you can always contact her for advice later.

BTW my HVs are fab, both are mothers and very non-judgemental.

You don't have to do either. Say "Thank you very much, if I need her services I'll call"

Don't close down any avenue of help - you don't know when you might need it in the future.

O do think that there is perhaps a little paranoia on this thread.

The health visitor simply drew the op's attention to a service that is available to her. She would have been failing in her duty if she hadn't.

I honestly can't see teh problem with this.

I agree with seeker.
I would have been upset if the pct hadn't offered the same service to my home-ed children as was available to my school-ed children. As has been said, there is no compulsion to accept the offered services but I think it's a good thing to have access to the child health service if you felt you needed it. The school-nurse is called the school-nurse because for the majority of children the services are delivered through schools. However, we were told that it is available to all children should they need it and the 'school' nurse would be willing to help with access to that service.

"but waste the taxpayer resources mindlessly on tasks they are not supposed to do."

I don't think that making a health service available to all children is a mindless waste of resources.

As others have said, just opt out.

All children are offered school-entry screening in the term they turn 5 - height, weight and hearing checks, plus a questionnaire for you to get info/help/report any concerns, It is all only done with parents' consent and anyone can opt out without any predjudice. By the HV offering you this service, she is merely giving you the same access to services as the school-educated population, and you have the same rights to opt-out as anyone else. As far as I can tell, there is no real issue.

(BTW - if you did want your child to have their hearing tested, you could arrange for that to happen in the childrens centre or health centre where the school nurse is based, with no need to let anyone into your home - your home environment is not being checked, other children are seen at school.)

Betel - health and education are very linked in many ways and should work closely on matters oif childrens' wellbeing. HVs and School nurses are 2 parts of the public health nursing teams - one for under 5s and one for over, they usually are based together, work with the same families if needed and hand over information as the children get older/family's needs change. If you rang the PCT they would explain this to you.