Feel so embarrassed about how my home looks

[pinkfishbluefish]

After hours of trawling Rightmove I feel nothing but disheartened!

We live on a nice street in a safe area. We’re renting at the moment, hoping to both buy a home and possibly TTC next year. Whilst cleaning up today I came to the conclusion that literally nothing matches in our house. We have a black leather sofa that was bought second hand, grey patterned carpet here when we moved in, modern sideboard that is navy with oak effect (the only thing we purchased new) and TV on the wall. The carpet is the worst thing. There is no underlay underneath and it is clearly a very cheap one, so is rough underfoot.

My friends were over for dinner last week. Two of them had not been before and I felt very embarrassed as they came in and looked around. I am aware this is shallow of me and that lots of people live in worse situations. We are extremely fortunate to have a roof over our heads that we can afford, with no damp, courteous neighbours and modern features like a brand new bath and walk in shower. The whole bathroom was refit before we moved in. All our kitchen appliances work.

It is generally comfortable and this is a huge privilege. Despite knowing this, every time I walk into a room and notice things not matching I feel colossal levels of stress. I don’t even know where to start to make it look better, either.

Do your homes match or have tasteful decor? I feel like ours does not feel homely in the slightest. I appreciate I might be too subjective in this and this is not a forever home.

Anyhow op, how those houses look on RM won’t be the reality. I certainly don’t judge peoples furnishings, it’s the warmth and hospitality that count.

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I call matchy houses - catalogue houses, as if someone’s literally looked in a catalogue and chosen all the room.
soulless and totally boring in my opinion.

now, for many years (I had no money) my home was Mis matched with old furniture and a hideous stained carpet - but it was comfortable and my children grew up and no harm came to them.

Now, they’ve grown and I’m in a relationship with a man with a ridiculously huge family - my home is by my taste beautiful- I get first dibs from all the families old stuff and with taste and styling etc it all ties together.

my kitchen is beautiful, it was a total bargain off eBay and my partner and son fitted it and slowly I’m filling it with beautiful things and I buy things I like and I know have longevity in them so not neccesarily on trend things ( I have nothing grey or sparkly)it’s all oak wood etc.
Except for my sons room which is all new, white ikea stuff (but it took so long to get my v ungrateful son is now at uni and not using it 😡😂)

But nobody ever came to my house in the old days and said it was a shit hole, they came saw the childrens lego models, their pictures on the fridge etc and it was just home , as equally I don’t go to peoples houses and think ‘ohhh their carpet didn’t match their curtains’.

honestly op - just live in the moment and be happy with what you have xx

I would hate to have everything that matches. My house has grown organically over the (30+) years we have lived here. There's an armchair that I bought in a charity shop 30 years ago and a tv/media cabinet that my husband made from a cupboard. Our sofas came from a second hand shop 7 years ago. The nearest we have to matching is our dining table and chairs - they were made for DH's grandparents in the 1920's so the chairs and table match but they are of their time and not at all fashionable. But we love them - and our living room furniture as well. Our ornaments are things that we love and our walls are covered with paintings and prints we have collected over the years. We have two display cabinets that match each other and that's it. I would never judge or feel anyone had failed if they had eclectic tastes and I hope no one judges us because we do!

Nothing in my house matches apart from the bedside table lights. The house is clean, tidy and comfortable, which is all that matters to me.

Taste is a personal thing but if your unhappy just change it - but some house magazines for inspiration find colours and furniture you like and if you can’t afford it just look for cheaper alternatives second hand / market place ext and but one things at a time - it takes years for most people to get their home how they want it - tbh I wouldn’t be worried if you planning on moving just start putting ideas together for your new home!

My rooms match - they don't match each other - each room is very different - but the things in each room match! However, it's took a long long time to get to this stage what with IVF and the cost of that and then a child etc. I used to be embarrassed too but then realised that when I went to other peoples houses I didn't give a shiny shite about whether their things matched or not. I was just glad to be in their company! So the likelihood was they didn't care either! Don't sweat it, it'll all come together eventually, just as you want it!

when I go into friends houses I don’t judge them on decor/how tidy it is. There is no need to be embarrassed! Your friends are there to spend time with you.

I get that some people judge but that’s their issue to deal with, not yours. Fwiw, everything in my house matches and is pretty pristine but I still have friends that aren’t keen and think it’s not homely enough. You can’t win so just enjoy the fact that it’s functional.

I feel better reading this. I don't invite anyone to mine because of the
"house-barrassment"

Was it a homebase advert during pandemic that came up with that term?

My house is an absolute shit tip of clutter. I keep it as clean as I can with lots of help from DP but I do despair sometimes (kids and mess).

I am replacing flooring bit by bit myself and I'm good at DIY thankfully but it's the time. We are so time poor. There is so much I want to do painting wise too.

I agree with others about having your own style. I like the idea of houses looking lived in rather than those Instagram house of mirrors.

My house doesn't match but is instead, filled with things I love. Either things that have been passed down to us or I found on eBay or are quirky or make me smile. My bathroom has Moroccan floor tiles because I loved them on sight and a suite I bought for £13 on eBay because it was vintage and has blackberries on it and I built my sink vanity unit from pallet wood and the shelving is made from reclaimed wood and vintage railway hardware and I have gig and theatre posters up in there, as well as a photo of Victoria Wood. Everybody who goes in there compliments it because it's so completely mine in every way. Don't aim to match. Buy things you love and that appeal to your sense of taste. You'll find they fall together well. Get a throw and cushions you want to sit on/under and read or watch TV. Buy a rug you'll like scrunching your toes into and will look at and love the colour or pattern. Put up pictures or photos. Get the lamp you like. Use candles that smell nice to you. Aim to make yourself happy and you'll love sharing your home because it is yours. It should look how you want and fit the life you live.

And people don't care. Promise you. They like you.

Your friends are coming to see you, not judge your interior design! As long as it's reasonably clean and tidy ish then please don't worry. A warm welcome and a happy atmosphere is all you need. Some good advice here, lamps, rugs, cosy throws and plants will make a big difference if you want to, but if they don't like it -tough! IME show home immaculate = boring people!

Plants are a great way to make a house feel homely, as are pictures or artwork, cushions and rugs.

I joined my local buy nothing group on Facebook and over time I've collected bits and bobs that have helped pull the house together, as well as getting rid of things that no longer work for us. One of my favourite freebies is a small table for a plant and keys, which sits by the front door. It doesn't match any other furniture (very dark wood vs oak everywhere else) but it's a nice, useful little piece. I keep an eye on the group for opportunities like that.

I would never judge a friend who had been kind enough to invite me over.
If you want to jazz your home up a bit get some big plants, some lamps that give a nice cosy feel and enjoy your home like it is.

would you post pics and we can give ideas on how to make it more cosy or more to your style? sometimes just rearranging the furniture has a big impact. Im sure your friends weren't bothered though x

I was sucked into the grey and white trend as I have absolutely no clue about colour. It's bland and boring and I'm looking to add bits that bring some personality to it.
My friends house is a glorious riot of mismatched furniture and colour, I'm so jealous!

All of these sound fabulous and far more interesting than everything matchy matchy and soul less, they show the style and character of the occupant - I'd love to see them in real life:

2 poang chairs in black, with electric pink silk quilted throws over the backs. A huge mosaic squared rug on top of a cream carpet.

My bathroom has Moroccan floor tiles because I loved them on sight and a suite I bought for £13 on eBay because it was vintage and has blackberries on it

There's an armchair that I bought in a charity shop 30 years ago and a tv/media cabinet that my husband made from a cupboard. Our sofas came from a second hand shop 7 years ago. The nearest we have to matching is our dining table and chairs - they were made for DH's grandparents in the 1920's so the chairs and table match but they are of their time and not at all fashionable.

But we love them - that's how it should be.

@PlacidPenelope suite for £13, including bidet, cupboard built from pallet wood, can see some of the floor tiles.

Comparison is the thief of joy, OP.

Forget about comparing your house with RM. I'm currently preparing mine to sell and giving it a complete overhaul while sucking out any shred of personality!

Create the house that you love. It doesn't have to match to look beautiful.

Look at fashion for a good example. Back in the day, we all matched shoes, handbags and outfits - you look at that now and the matchy, matchy look is atrocious and dated!

Apply the same principles to your home. Colours that complement and can be tied together, or even those which contrast can look fantastic.

I struggle to keep my current house tidy and uncluttered, and that's why I'm always a bit embarrassed about visitors. The colour of my furniture/floors/decor etc is irrelevant. Imagine you went to a friend's house - would you judge them unkindly if their sofa didn't match their sideboard? I can honestly say I wouldn't even notice.

That's a wonderful space @ShowOfHands - I love it!!

[looks round at own living room] I like the lived-in look. Just as well really.

The only thing that matches in here is the gentle covering of dust and cat hairs on every surface.

Do you see anything that matches in our snug? Nope! We've added curtains and a bureau and built in bookshelves and Tiffany wall lights since then. It's pretty mismatched but I simply don't care. The footstool was inherited from somebody I loved, my armchair (where I was sitting when I took the photo) was DH's great grandmother's, then his grandma's, then his Mum's and then mine. It's been a breastfeeding chair since 1920 and seen 17 babies thrive.

Thanks very much for the photos @ShowOfHands that really is beautiful, I love all of it but especially fond of the suite with blackberries on! It all looks so stylish, original and interesting.

Find some lovely artwork for the wall, some candles. Quirky cushions, an interesting lamp, comfy throws - make it look friendly, welcoming, YOU. Buy a couple of house magazines for inspiration!

I like your style @ShowOfHands I think I could be very comfortable in the chair with the footstool.

My house needs lots of decoration work. Some hasn't been painted since the late 90s.
I've had to prioritise the things that really matter - the fence, the windows and doors, the gutters, the bathroom.
Compared to lots of my friends it's a state, but it's clean and welcoming, and it is what it is.

You sound like you just need new carpet? Some navy sofa cushions and throws? Or just a large navy/black/grey rug? Putting a rug over carpet is very on trend. Some colour coordinated decor?

I don’t give a damn what people have, as long as they’re clean and kind!