Daughter alone in Paris after falling out with friend on holiday

[Bollard]

My DD is in Paris with her friend. They are only there for a couple of days. They have fallen out and the friend has ditched her. DD is in the hotel room, wanting to come home. She doesn't feel confident going around Pars on her own and feels the trip is ruined. Any ideas for anything she could do alone, any group thing she could join? She might feel able to do something in the day, but I don't like the thought of her being out alone at night. I don't know Paris at all. She's staying centrally.

This post reminds me of the film Taken! Hopefully that doesn’t happen to your daughter of course!

https://paris-walks.com/

i know the people that run this.

I moved to Paris as an au pair at 19 as a very very unworldly young woman and honestly it’s a great city to walk around. The metro is absolutely fine. I was on it last summer with three DC. It’s easy to navigate and it will be busy during the day so she will be safe. Like others have said Galeries Lafayette is lovely for a browse and the Louvre is great to look at enjoy solo as you can stop at things and do it at your own pace. The musee d orsay is also excellent and my dc love the invalides museum. All of these places will be safe and will take time to browse. This could be the making of her

@HarshbutTrue2

"I don't know who you are, but you obviously have a very particular set of skills" to even mention this film to the OP 😉

Oh definitely! She should do this and uber is the safest way to get around if she can afford it, or you can sub her.

I would also recommend the hop-on-hop-off bus. Often it’s only a small amount extra for two days. This was my favourite part of our Paris trip and of course she can get off if there’s somewhere she wants a closer look at, then get back off again.

For all those saying this is a learning curve and she should be able to go round a foreign capital on her own, please have some empathy. I know on MN the second someone turns 18 they have to be tough and with it, but this is a girl who has just finished college, is on a trip without family, is upset because her travel companion has upset her and left her, and she is alone in a place where she doesn't speak the language.
I feel for her. Yes, she can go and explore but have some empathy!

I do feel bad she has fallen out with her friend and that would have dimmed the trip somewhat but op has made her dd sound hopeless and lacking resilience.

As a mum I would have told her to make the most of the situation and go and enjoy herself, use Ai for great ideas, use Google maps for getting around, have a look on 'get your guide,' for any intersting trips, see if theres any 'free' walking tours ( remember to top!) go to iconic landmarks , take loads of photos, find somewhere great to eat, go and have a fabulous time exploring and come home and tell me about your adventure!!!

Its not about being tough , its about building resilience, encouraging a sense of adventure and turning something negative into a positive expierence.

I agree with some who said about sending a friendly text( if the argument isnt too serious, I guess it depends what it is about) to try to reconnect.

What a shock that must be for DD. I hope she stays and does some sightseeing. I spent a year in Paris alone at 19 and got constantly approached by men so I had to say No very firmly quite a lot, or walk briskly away without speaking, but I came to no harm. I suggest getting something to eat at the hotel in the evening if she feels unsafe, but daytime should be OK.

If they were due to travel back together, then they will be likely sitting next to each other on the train/plane. Hopefully they will make up, but if they don’t it could be awkward. If your daughter asks for advice, I would just say to be civil to each other.

That sounds pretty worrying about the friend. Has she done this kind of thing previously? Is she impulsive ? Is she responding to your daughter’s messages ?

OMG all these posts about building resilience. I can't say I would have wanted to be on my own in a big city at 18 but that was probably not wanting to look like I didn't have any friends and feeling a bit lonely rather than thinking someone was going to attack/steal from me. But I don't believe all the people posting were so confident at 18. No way.

However, you've had a lot of good advice about things to do and I hope she enjoys her day there.

It's also not dark until 10pm so fine to be out and about until then. And I'd rather be walking than getting into an Uber and being confined with a man I don't know.

This is a brilliant experience for her. Going solo at 18. She will discover her own resilience, her own tastes and the success of managing a foreign city on her own.

Lots of praise for her now and when she gets home.

If she can eat in the hotel or a small bistro nearby she will also manage solo dining. I hope she has an enjoyable time, but do stress the independence and success the whole time.

I think it would be best if your DD messages the friends mum then you. See if her mum can talk some sense into her.

A hat pulled down and sunglasses are helpful to reduce eye contact, which makes ignoring people try to sell to you/beg/chuggers easier. It also makes it harder to see your facial expressions easily.

When walking, decide where to go and walk with purpose. Don't dither about - if you're not sure, go into a loo/shop/cafe to check rather than getting your phone out on the street.

Sadly, in this situation what you wear will make a difference to attention given by males, which is fine if you can cope with it, but if you can't then go with more masculine wear - trousers, baggy t shirt and trainers.

I think it might be worth her texting the friend and saying 'Are you okay? Shall we meet up again?' now that some time has passed and they have hopefully cooled down.

Get Your Guide is really useful as you get a timed ticket, meeting point and skip the line. Good for attractions and walking tours. Quite a good range so hopefully plenty in her budget.

Metro is pretty handy but if not then Paris is very walkable. You can take in a lot of sights just walking around. I went last year and walked from Eiffel Tower along the Seine seeing Place de la Concorde, Grand Palais, Louvre, Jardin de Tuilieres, Don't des Arts, Notre Dame, then caught the Metro back to hotel.

I suspect (not least because friend has stormed off without her stuff or anywhere to stay) she'll be back before long and hopefully they'll make up. But good for your daughter getting out and about and not wasting her time there.

When i was 19 I was travelling in the US and Canada with a friend. We kind of fell out and she was also fed up and homesick and changed her ticket to fly home early. I decided to stay and went to Toronto, New York and Boston on my own. I was terrified at first but it was amazing!

I know this seems like a cata right now, but this should be the making of her. I feel sad for your daughter that she’s not confident enough to take a metro journey alone. Paris is not a violent city, and she really should embrace her time. I live there, and am out and about all the time, both during the day and night.

The Louvre will occupy several hours. She could then walk in the Tuileries, visit Place de la Concorde, and walk up the Champs-Elysées. A good shout near that area is Breakfast in America diner. Google maps works perfectly for getting around.

She doesn’t need a Navigo card (unless already has). Tickets can be loaded on the phone via travel wallet for iPhone, or via the RATP app if she’s Android.

Galeries Lafayette or Printemps are heaving with tourists. Directly opposite is the GL food hall, with upstairs restaurants full of shoppers having lunch. As others have said, take a boat trip. Les Vedettes de Pont Neuf is a smaller company and is nicer than the larger ones.

What ever are you on about, Paris has never been safe. Common sense is needed. Can she change to a youth hostel and group up with other young travellers?
Central Paris is beautiful, absolutely no need to go elsewhere. An 18 yr old has no interest in Giverny or a vineyard tour (a bonkers suggestion upthread).
Strolling around in the daytime is lovely - the Marais, Quartier St Michel and Notre Dame.
Great photography exhibitions if she's had enough art. Beautiful churches. The Catacombs are fab.
Don't go up side streets at night, do stay where other people are. Do be prepared to run away if being hassled. Don't get drawn into conversation by sleezy men.

Does she gave an Apple phone? She can download a Navigo pass into her wallet? Press the + symbol go to travel card and scroll down to France. Google and can show you the route and the metro trains, lines, times. Uber/bolt are plentiful. If people's approach her she needs to firmly say ‘non Merci’ and keep walking

OMG all these posts about building resilience. I can't say I would have wanted to be on my own in a big city at 18 but that was probably not wanting to look like I didn't have any friends and feeling a bit lonely rather than thinking someone was going to attack/steal from me. But I don't believe all the people posting were so confident at 18. No way.
I had the opposite problem. I've always had FOMO so if my friends weren't interested in going to see a film, a gig, go swimming etc I would go by myself. I went away by myself at 19 to Majorca. My mum went mad saying 'people would think i had no friends' I kept asking why would I care about people who haven't passed me a street thought about me. She finally accepted that I enjoy travelling not only with my dh, my sons, my friends but also alone when I was around 50! 😆 😆

To be honest at 18 I would have thought the resilience would already be in place and although I understand yhe fall out voukd be upsetting mum just needs to give a bit if encouragement to get on eith it, which she does a bit by telling her to ho to the l
Louvre.

This is probably unpopular but I would suggest to dd that now she's not with her friend she could extend her trip and have a few more days away if there was a cheap flight back and she could explore dome more.

I honestly feel quite concerned about the friend. She's currently a missing teenager as far as you know. You should contact her family. If it was YOUR DD out in Paris without her stuff and uncontactable following an argument, you'd want someone to tell you. Worst they can say is 'Yeah we know, we've spoken to her'.

I lived in Paris for a year when I was 19, I was fine, I’m a Londoner though. You just have to be tough. Metro & RER was fine, no different from the tube.

Go to the Galleries Lafayette food halls - fantastic sights and gorgeous pastries. Wander around St Germain and the Marais. Hike up to Montmartre to enjoy the winding streets and glorious views. Paris is amazing!

Christ, we’re talking central Paris here; not some crime-ridden slum. The RER is just fine, and has air con. Metro is fine too, as long as you avoid Stalingrad.

What are her interests, OP? If she likes fashion, then the Gianni Versace expo is worth a shout, or the Galerie Dior if she can get a slot. If art, and not pooped out from the Louvre, then the Petit Palais is half way down the Champs-Elysées, is free, has decent loos, a lovely courtyard cafe/restaurant, and plenty of art and sculpture. The Musée Carnavelet in the Marais is also free, as is the Victor Hugo house on Place de Vosges. Get a baguette from nearby bakery, eat in the square, and that’s lunch sorted.

Paris should actually be fairly quiet; schools broke up today and I’ve already noticed the streets and shops are emptier than usual.

AirBnb experiences gives some good ideas. Find a reputable youth hostel and tag along with some of their social events.

I'd definitely message the other mum...if her things are in the room, anything could have happened. I think you'd want to know if your daughter had gone off in a huff without her possessions.

I am on holiday at the moment and will be back home in Paris tonight. I haven’t read all of other messages but let me know if there’s anything directly you want help with. Paris is perfectly safe as long as she is careful with pickpockets.