Etiquette when my daughter is invited on a friend's family holiday

[Onlythedoglovesme]

My DD has been invited to join a friends family holiday in the summer, I don’t think I can afford to contribute anything like the costs, the invitation hadn’t mentioned anything about this, just would she like to come. Whats the etiquette here? I am a single parent and we don’t really go on holiday as I can’t afford the time off work, we do the odd camping weekend but nothing overseas. It’s a European trip for a week. Both teens would love to hang out for a week but I can’t afford a weeks eating out in Europe. What would you do? My DD is embarrassed that her friends have wildly different lifestyles (she is a bursary student at a fee paying school) and she doesn’t want me to mention money.

"This sounds like it would be such a brilliant experience for our children, to spend this time together. I'd love a breakdown of anticipated costs so that I can check if there's scope in the budget this year."

You don't need to say you have no money. You can explain you might be spending it on other plans. They don't need to know those plans are: eating and paying the bills.

Oh no, that's so awful. Your poor daughter and poor you . I think it is SO mean of the other family to tell the girls if they expected you to pay .
They made an assumption you could afford it.
I absolutely think if you offer, you pay ! Especially if you tell the kids first . I would be quite annoyed and none of this is your fault at all.

I agree with most posters here, ASK the question, it is not embarrassing, it is clarifying. I would not personally invite another's child unless I was going to pay for it all, other than "personal spends / ice cream money" And if my child did go, I would be sending them with a "round of drinks" or full meal money for the other family to enjoy, But I quote @Branster here because if you take a child abroad and it is not your child, you do potentially need some paperwork in place. Also, get your child their own insurance to cover the trip (less than a tenner) just in case family forgets (often happens if they have family insurance on their bank account) and understand fully what baggage is allowed. I have five kids and we have done combos of this, and every time, no cost to others. Son has also gone with another family and although enjoyed it, he had to pay a lot. The worst things that have happened is that the other parents did not take it seriously, or fallings out, so that the extra teenager did not come in the end. You shrug your shoulders in this instance, and you have more room on the plane, and in the accom, but it is quite awkward. Best all arrangements up front. x

im taking DD’s friend with us. I do t think k they have a great deal of disposable income so I’ve just asked if she could bring some spending g money, entrance into Water Park.

The thing is OP, the girl is also keeping your daughter happy - well they are mutually keeping each other happy and occupied. I wouldn’t be able to get DD to holiday with us if she wasn’t bringing a friend. So it’s not as if it’s totally a one way street.

What happened was: DD asked if friend could come. I said okay then. Girl asked her mother. Her mother said it depended on cost, so that I knew budget was an issue.

I just said in a WA “We don’t need anything towards it - maybe a bit of spending money ..” Saved her the quandary of whether & what to ask about costs.

It's a long time ago but I spend two long summers away with a friend - my mum asked what contribution they wanted - from memory they asked for the cost of the ferry and suggested I bring some spendies.