Parents of only children - suggestions?

[Needlenardlenoo]

DH and I are finding it ever more challenging booking holidays with our just turned 13 year old.

She likes hotel/pool/activity/sporty type holidays - but we both burn easily so wouldn't book e.g. a Tui trip somewhere that hovers around 30 degrees in the main school holiday, so that rules out a lot of places.

We've holidayed in e.g. the Canaries and France, but what we'd really like is somewhere with a teens' club or e g. watersports we could book, so she could meet other kids her age without us having to do all the activities too.

When she was younger she was great at making friends in the playground or by the pool, but it just seems to have all dropped off at 12 or 13 and she ends up getting very lonely.

We can't easily take one of her friends with us, for various reasons.

Any suggestions? We did do a small group tour with a fantastically nice family a couple of years back, but if they hadn't been so nice it could have been a nightmare!

check out Neilson holidays - their kids clubs are very age specific and they get to do all the sports/activities parents can choose we loved it. My only got to spend lots of time with kids in his year group and the one above

Thanks, I did, but they all seemed to be in climates I'd rather avoid in August.

Seriously not being cheeky here, but you can avoid getting burnt in 30°c/Mediterranean/sunny climates by wearing appropriate clothing/headware and spending regular time in the shade, e.g. under an umbrella if by the pool or on the beach.

Obviously if it's the actual heat you don't like, then that's complely different

Cruises? We did several of those with DS who’s an only. They had teenage clubs and activités.

Eurocamp? You can probs filter for sites with good teen stuff or there’s a very helpful Facebook group - eurocamp unofficial supporters club - where if you post asking for sites people would recommend with teens you’d get lots of ideas 🙂 Netherlands have some good sites and not too hot

Eurocamp is a great idea for that age - though to be fair, my experience was from 12 on life became much more tricky. Dordogne with lots to do for all ages, and Interrailing were great successes - especially when letting dc have input into destinations and activities. Have you asked her what she would LIKE to do? Maybe something in the Alps might work better than the beach?

Oh yes, absolutely, that is of course what we do.

My husband has had skin cancer this year (fortunately it doesn't seem to be serious though) and just generally it means spending more of the holiday thinking about sun protection than anything else, so it's a big factor for us and it is a lot easier to go off season (May or October) and then there are fewer facilities.

We have done a couple of Eurocamps - that's a good idea. I found the accommodation a bit crap at both but it's a good idea to look at discussion forums specifically for that.

I do ask DD what she wants to do but she can be totally unrealistic. She's on the spectrum and quite young for her age. Plus much more sporty than either of us and doesn't burn!

That is a good idea. I looked at a few of those last year. I'll look again.

A cruise - either ocean or river has lots of teen activities and if too hot and sunny lots of places indoors too

Have never been on a holiday with DC where have put him any kind of club so maybe you wouldn't enjoy the same sort of holidays but we have done the Alps, as mentioned above - lots of walking, cable cars, etc. Then multiple destinations on trains (interrail can be more expensive) that involved him in the booking process and all chipping in with places we'd like to go to. Even in Europe there are some great places to see and you can easily help them tick a bunch of places off a list (e.g. Colosseum, Tower of Pisa, Eiffel Tower, alpine train routes, named mountains, galleries or museums that she may have heard of, or will do in the future and be pleased she has been). Somewhere like Berlin, for example, is interesting for teens I think as they have a better understanding of the world and can relate it to what they are learning at school. There are so many unusual places to visit as well, and can align with her interests, whether it is art, a spa, an old library, or sport.

Basically, get her involved in the more adult world of travel. Help her to explore places safely with you by her side so she can do it more easily when she is older. Europe train trips are fun as you can get from one country to the other really easily, can travel in the hottest part of the day if it is too warm and then you have the fun of different languages, cultures, etc. to get to grips with. As well as different food specialities - again, make a list and tick off having the most typical thing in particular places: pasta, pizza in Italy, croissant and baguette in Paris, Pierogi in Poland, Hamburger in Hamburg, etc.

The only danger with trips like this is that there is far more to do than is possible in a couple of weeks 😃

Neilson, as a pp said, are excellent and we used them with our only child for many years. They run their summer beach clubs from May until the end of October half term although your take your chances a bit on the weather, if you don’t want to go in the height of summer.

My DD always met someone to have fun with and spent plenty of time with us too. She also loved the water sports and activities. They’re not like traditional kids clubs. We’ve always enjoyed the hotels and food. I’d recommend Neilson, if you can find a way to make it work for your family.

That all sounds so wonderful. I'm happy for you. I would love those kind of breaks. Unfortunately that kind of planning doesn't work with DD. Or DH really. I've tried and tried. They're both autistic with ADHD and DH would rather be either cycling or doing nothing at all. DD would like to be in water parks or shopping malls with a bevy of English speaking teenage mates I've magicked up from somewhere and an unlimited budget.

When I have forced through trips to e.g. Scotland and Cornwall by sleeper train, trying to involve her, she's moaned, whinged and sulked thus ruining large parts of the experience.

This does sound a great plan and I've never used them.

We've been with Tui several times and their October half term offer is a bit limited - but maybe I'll strike lucky with Neilson. Thank you.

I'm not being deliberately difficult. It is extremely hard to get this "right" for us 3! Maybe I should start a neurodiverse travel agency 😂

I mean we woke up in Penzance and she sulked like a thundercloud for about 48 hours because it wasn't Tenerife (where the neighbours were) 😂.

In that case, I can say what works best for us these days is short trips, one parent at a time to do something specific and then taking trips on my own so I don't have to worry about pleasing everyone, dealing with the overwhelm of unfamiliar places and keeping people busy 😆

Do consider that you let DH go off on a cycling holiday, then you take DD to see some family or friends and then maybe have a short break together and then you go and have a good rest/exciting trip somewhere to please yourself.

Honestly, after the last few years I think, whilst it has been great and I know ultimately it is appreciated, I have found it easier for it just to be me and DS or on my own. Just because it is 'convention' that you must all go on holiday together, don't feel you have to do it. Think about what pleases you as well as the others. Sounds like DD could be just as happy at a summer camp in the UK with other kids her age that she can communicate with and maybe see after the summer as well.

We used the Explore Company. If you book on the family holidays, you go to interesting places and have the company of other families.

This is good advice and we do do separate things. It's a lot more affordable to go somewhere together though. We're both teachers so we have a lot of holidays to fill...

Thanks - I used a company like this in the past so I'll have a look.

I don't think you can compare Neilsons with an operator like Tui, they're worlds apart in terms of offerings. Neilsons are totally focussed on activities, everyone can do their own activity that makes them happy so no one needs to whine about not enjoying themselves! It looks expensive but the only additional cost is usually a couple of evening meals and any drinks. If you added up the hours of tuition and equipment hire you use in a week it's pretty good value IMO.

not really what you’ve asked but we take a friend with us so DD can have a better time. I agree with PP tho - show her the adult side of travelling.

Thanks - it's all quite new to us as before it became obvious DD was going to be a sun and pool and social kind of kid, we never really took those kinds of holidays.

It's definitely a solution possibly. My fear is that she'd fall out with them either between booking and going or on the holiday itself. It would need to be someone super reliable and tolerant as I'd obviously want them to have a good time too.

Iceland or Denmark? Both quite interesting and you can travel around

Scandinavia definitely appeals! DH and I went to Iceland ages ago and it's amazing (if mega pricey).